Teen Girl Squad Issue 8
From Homestar Runner Wiki
The girls join the Battle of the Bands.
Cast (in order of appearance): Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, Tompkins, The Man with the Huge Mouth/Mrs. So-and-so-erson, Pom Pom, Robot Teacher, Strong Bad (easter egg)
Page Title: Soopa Groop
Date: January 17, 2005
Contents |
Transcript
NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Teen Girl Squad! Cheerleader! {top 40 hits!} So and So! {hooked on classics!} What's Her Face! {college radio!} The Ugly One! {listens to pine bark!}
{The girls are sitting at their desks in class. What's Her Face's desk has no legs.}
INTERCOM: And lunch today will be a breadtangle of pizza. Don't forget the battle of the bands this Friday. Tompkins, point your rear end in the direction of the principal's office.
TOMPKINS: {offscreen} Awww, peas!
CHEERLEADER: Y'hear that girls??
WHAT'S HER FACE: Pizza belongs in a triangle!
SO AND SO: (hearts over head) That Tompkins is SUCH a renegade!
CHEERLEADER: {inexplicably drawn wearing a derby, sunglasses, a moustache, a tie, and smoking a cigar} No yous guys! The battle of the bands! {back to normal} We can form a band and become...
ALL: WORLDWIDE STARLETS!!
THE UGLY ONE: Worldwide starlets get much boys!
CHEERLEADER: Or so I have read. Obviously, I'll sing and pretend to play guitar.
WHAT'S HER FACE: Can I not get stuck playing bass?
CHEERLEADER, SO AND SO and THE UGLY ONE: NO WAY!!
SO AND SO: We'll be called "Smartly Pretty".
{we are shown a CD case with "Smartly Pretty" written in pseudo-mathematical notation}
CHEERLEADER: {vomits} Augh! Bleh! Ewww! Grugh! No. We're called "Kissy Boots"!
{a CD case which says "Kissy Boots" and features a huge pair of lips with cowboy boots is shown}
SO AND SO: We can practice after school in my step-mom's walk-in closet!
{Cut to an image of a man carrying a rock that reads "after school".}
NARRATOR STRONG BAD: After school!
{Cut to So and So's step-mom's walk-in closet, as evidenced by a large rack of clothes.}
CHEERLEADER: Your stepmom has questionable taste.
WHAT'S HER FACE: And like a million jogging suits.
{So and So's mother appears from behind the clothes rack. "She" appears to be The Man with the Huge Mouth.}
SO AND SO'S MOM: YOU LITTLE BRATS BEST SHUT YER YAPS!!!
CHEERLEADER: Yes Mrs. So-and-so... -erson.
{Mrs. So-and-so-erson vanishes. The girls' instruments appear.}
SO AND SO: Count us off, The Ugly One.
THE UGLY ONE: One, two, three and a four.
CHEERLEADER: {singing as the other girls play} Ooncha ooncha! One, two, three-cha! We're Kissy Boots and it's nice to meetcha! Ooncha ooncha! One, two, three-cha! Gonna get a breadtangle of pizza!
THE UGLY ONE: 16 hour drum solo!
{She starts playing the drums and scatting along, until a large floor tom eats her head.}
NARRATOR STRONG BAD: FLOOR TOMMED!!!! {Mrs. So-and-so-erson returns and pours "Ranch Dress" over The Ugly One and the floor tom} STEP-MOMMED!!!
{Cut to a romantic dinner setting where The Ugly One, with the drum still engulfing her head, stands opposite Pom Pom, who holds a single rose.}
NARRATOR STRONG BAD: POM-POMMED??
{Cut to a huge mouth with "BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!!" written on its teeth.}
NARRATOR STRONG BAD: BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!!
{Cut to the school auditorium, where a robot stands on stage with a microphone, and a handful of stick-figure heads compose the audience.}
ROBOT TEACHER: Alright, give it up for "Fatty's Big Chance."
{A large man, presumaby Fatty, with a saxophone and checkered pants appears from stage right.}
FATTY: Pick it up! Pick it up! Hup! Hup! Pick it up! Pick it up!
{Fatty vanishes.}
ROBOT TEACHER: Next up is "Kissyboots".
{Cut to Cheerleader and What's Her Face, probably back stage. Cheerleader holds a heart-shaped guitar with three necks and What's Her Face has a bass.}
CHEERLEADER: Where is So and So? We can't play the hits without her!
{Cut to So and So in a dressing room. Her hair is dyed black and she wears an black t-shirt with Strong Sad's face on it and heavy black makeup.}
SO AND SO: I'm going with that gloomy keyboardist look I keep hearing about!
{A group of trolls enter the dressing room.}
TROLL: KRA'AGH! KLEET'OH BRANGH CHE'EKOH TAGHQ?
SO AND SO: My autograph? Why sure!
{A huge twenty-sided die lands on her from above.}
NARRATOR STRONG BAD: TWELVE SIDED DIED!! {without text} Whoa, that's rough.
{Back in the auditorium, Cheerleader and What's Her Face are the only ones on stage.}
CHEERLEADER: I'm Kissyboots and she plays bass. One, two, three, and a four!
{They start playing. What's Her Face's guitar suddenly turns into a shark.}
WHAT'S HER FACE: My bass feels seaworthy.
{The shark eats the entire upper half of What's Her Face in one JGHOWMP!}
WHAT'S HER FACE: OW! My most of me!!
CHEERLEADER: {indicating the shark} Dis my new backup band... a shark. One, two, three, and a four!
{Cut to the end title which reads "it's over!". Cheerleader sings over it and the lyrics are shown at the top of the screen.}
CHEERLEADER: It's over! It's over! Strong Bad says it's over! It's over! It's over! Everybody died 'cept me!! {a chomping sound is heard.} Aw, crap!
Easter Eggs
- At the end, click the "o" to see a breadtangle, breadpazoid, breadallelogram, and brhombus of pizza (click each one to see the next. Click the brhombus to go back to the IT'S OVER! screen.)
- Click the "!" to see what happened to Tompkins.
Transcript
{Tompkins and Strong Bad are sitting in the principal's office. Strong Bad has a sign on his desk reading "PRINICPAL" [sic]}
TOMPKINS: Aw, come on prinicpal Strong Bad. I only stole ONE Sega tape!
STRONG BAD: That's just it, Thompkins... You could have stolen UPWARDS of one Sega tape.
TOMPKINS: Awww PEAS!
STRONG BAD: Kid, I think youre gonna turn out... HGHJHGHAAAALL right!
Fun Facts
Trivia
- This is the only Teen Girl Squad issue to date where all four girls clearly die.
- This is the first appearance of a main character other than Strong Bad (namely, Pom Pom) in a Teen Girl Squad issue.
- Judging from how the girls hold their guitars, Whats Her Face is left-handed. Likewise, Cheerleader is right-handed.
- Strong Sad's face is on So-and-so's gloomy keyboard girl shirt.
Goofs
- The die that crushes So And So is a 20-sided die. Twelve-sided dice have pentagonal faces.
- During Kissy Boots' first practice session, both Whats Her Face and Cheerleader are playing basses, possibly Fender basses, judging from the arrangement of string keys.
Inside References
- "Ooncha ooncha one, two, three-cha" is from Teen Girl Squad Issue 7.
- Sega tapes are also mentioned in anything.
- Strong Bad is called a "prinicpal" (note the misspelling) by his nameplate and Thompkins, just like in the Homestar Quiz and CGNU.
- The "-erson" tacked onto Mrs. So and So's name is done the same way that it was tacked onto Mrs Commander's name in Teen Girl Squad Issue 7. Other "ersons" appear in Issue 4 (Brett Bretterson) and "the process" (Emerson).
- Before So and so dies, she is wearing a Strong Sad T-Shirt.
Real-World References
- Cheerleader's guitar is a reference to "Future Retro", a video by Animusic that features a similar guitar.
- "Fatty's Big Chance," or at least Fatty, is the stereotypical ska musician, with a shaved head, checkerboard pants, and a chant of "pick it up, pick it up."
- One of the Ugly One's drums bears the inscription, "Mr Drummond", who was character in the 80's TV show, "Different Strokes".
- The Sega "tape" Tompkins steals in the easter egg is "Road Rash".
- The robot who introduces the battle of the bands may be a reference to Saved By The Bell, where the character Screech creates a similar-looking robot friend.
External Links
Teen Girl Squad | |
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Characters | Main: Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One Gregs: Sci-Fi Greg, D n' D Greg, Open Source Greg, Japanese Culture Greg Minor: Arrow'd Guy, The Birds, Brainkrieg, Fighting Growlbacks, Manolios, Mr. Pitters, Mrs. Commanderson, Olympic Man and Coach, Peacey P, Quarterman, she likes cloth, Thomas, Tompkins |
Issues | Main: Issue 1, Issue 2, Issue 3, Issue 4, Issue 5, Issue 6, Issue 7, Issue 8, Issue 8½, Issue 9, Issue 10, Issue 11, Issue 12, Issue 13, Issue 14, Issue 15 SBCG4AP: Homestar Ruiner, Cave Girl Squad, Teen Girl Squad Meets Limozeen Toons: 4 Gregs, Decomposing Pumpkins |
Miscellaneous | Locations, Costumes, Theme Song, Fangs, -'d, Ow! My X!, Captioned Transitions |
Other | Teen Girl Squad Deaths, 404'd, Neon 404'd, Teen Girl Squadcast |