Blue Laser
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Blue Laser is an evil organization that is the sworn enemy of the Cheat Commandos. They plan to take over the planet using various schemes. Sometimes they are attacked by the Cheat Commandos, even if they are doing nothing wrong. They are a parody of COBRA, the principal evildoers of the G. I. Joe cartoons, upon which Cheat Commandos is based. This can be seen in the fact that Blue Laser:
- Has a Commander with a high squeaky voice and a partially obscured face
- Threatens to blow up the ocean (as Cobra threatened to do in one G. I. Joe episode)
- Succeeds only in blowing up its own minions
- Fires lasers of opposite color than the heroes (in this case, blue—the same color Cobra used in the G. I. Joe cartoon)
- Wears Cobra-inspired uniforms—blue bodysuits with their organization's logo positioned on the center of the chest
Blue Laser has a fairly high-tech operation, including a supercomputer. Despite the possible technological edge that Blue Laser may have over the Cheat Commandos, they manage to fail horribly in everything they do.
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Evil Schemes
As an evil league of violence, Blue Laser naturally has several plans for world domination. These plans are never successful, as they are always foiled due to the efforts of the Cheat Commandos, as well as their own ineptitude.
- In the original Cheat Commandos Commercial, Blue Laser builds and guards a radar dish, for unknown reasons. Reinforcements destroyed the radar dish with a devastating hit from his Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket that left a sole survivor.
- They also had a plan to blow up the ocean, "Operation Ocean Blow", as well as a plan code-named "Operation Don't Crush Ourselves", which seems to be a standing order not to cause friendly-fire incidents due to ineptitude. This plan also failed when Firebert detonated a mountain using TNT, causing a rockslide to crush two Blue Laser minions.
- Blue Laser unleashed their most deadly scheme in Cheat Commandos...O's when they faked a report of their secret desert base relocating to a secret desert, when in actuality, he had relocated to his Nana's backyard. This plan almost succeeded, but then Crackotage dropped the Cheat Commandos a box of Cheat Commandos...O's sugar cereal, saving them from exhaustion and leading them to the new hideout. Two minions were seen parachuting after a barbecue grill had exploded, parodying the way that no one would ever really die in a G. I. Joe cartoon.
- In Shopping for Danger, their plan was to buy cleaning products on Double Coupon Day at the Price Style supermarket. The Cheat Commandos speculated that with the money that Blue Laser could save from the double coupons, they could buy deadly weapons that could turn babies into gold or screw with the weather to make it snow at the beach, thus destroying beach volleyball. In actuality, Blue Laser bought the Grout Clean'r because they thought the main reason they couldn't defeat the Cheat Commandos was mildew.
- In Commandos in the Classroom, the Blue Laser Commander asks Firebert to smoke some candy (a chocolate bar) with him. His 'plan' fails when Silent Rip drops a smoke bomb and Firebert lays down some suppressive fire. Then, he almost gets hit by some surface-to-air antioxidant missiles which may have been fired by Reinforcements (who shows up right after the missiles).
- In Let us give TANKS!, the 'evil scheme,' according to Gunhaver, was to kidnap the Cheat Commandos and force them to sit down to dinner and pleasant conversation. He attempted to stop the plan by ambushing the party through the turkey they were planning to eat, but in actuality, the Blue Laser Commander had just invited them over for Thanksgiving dinner. Gunhaver was also invited, but Silent Rip didn't give him the invitation because he was afraid that he would do something exactly like he did. The Cheat Commandos won by default, but to add certainty to it, Gunhaver had set up a nuclear device in the oven, which went off and blew up the Blue Laser Cottage.
Members
-Blue Laser Twins
Possibly
-The Blue Laser Commanders Nana
Remarks
- Actual Blue Lasers are currently used for certain medical applications (e.g. corrective eye surgery), and are used prominently in the Blu-ray Disc Association's Blu-Ray and the DVD Forum's HD-DVD high capacity disc formats.
Appearances
- Debut: Cheat Commandos
- Cheat Commandos...O's
- Shopping for Danger
- Commandos in the Classroom
- Let Us Give TANKS!
