Blue Laser Minion
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Blue Laser Minions are the foot soldiers of Blue Laser, an organization of evil that does evil stuff for mysterious reasons. The minions are led by Blue Laser Commander, but they are usually defeated by the Cheat Commandos.
The Blue Laser minions wear blue bodysuits with the Blue Laser emblem on the chest, head visors, and blue patches on one arm. Just about every sentence they say ends in "sir", whether or not it is actually addressed to a superior (or a man, for that matter). Each one speaks in the same monotone voice, a reference to the fact that, to this day, many cartoons use only one or two different voices for generic foot soldiers. While more recent cartoons have explained this phenomenon by claiming that all soldiers are robots programmed with the same voice (or are clones of the same person), viewers in the '80s were expected to ignore the fact that every single member of various armies sounded exactly the same. This was addressed in the recent Cheat Commandos episode Let us give TANKS!, in which the Blue Laser Commander, frustrated by not being able to tell the difference between his different minions, throws a carving fork into the eye of one, and exclaims, "There! Now you're the one with the fork stuck in your eye!"
In the Cheat Commandos Commercial, six Blue Laser Minions went to build and protect a radar dish, but Reinforcements successfully destroyed it with his Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket and crushed all but one of the enemy squad. On a second mission, two Minions were sent to protect the Blue Laser mountain headquarters, from which the Blue Laser Commander was planning to blow up the ocean. However, Firebert blew a part off the headquarters with explosives, crushing the two guards. In the Cheat Commandos...O's commercial, two minions were seen parachuting after a barbecue grill had exploded, parodying the way that no one would ever really die in a G. I. Joe cartoon. In their latest appearance, Let Us Give TANKS!, two were seen helping Blue Laser prepare Thanksgiving dinner. The Commander sticks a fork in one of their eyes so he can tell them apart. Although in the commercial six of the minions were seen guarding a laser dish, only two have ever been seen in the Cheat Commandos cartoons at a time, which could mean there are only two Blue Laser minions. Conflicting evidence has been seen though, when the Green Helmets were under attack lasers were flying in, and large squad of Blue Laser vehicles has also been seen firing at the cheat commandos, which means there has to be more than just the two who are with the Blue Laser Commander.
