Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters

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Revision as of 20:33, 14 October 2005

Some characters make a very brief appearance in Teen Girl Squad, often hurting one of the girls. Usually they are never seen again, but in the 10th Issue special, many of these characters made cameo appearances.

A party of minor characters

Issue 1

A Helicopter

Bang-bang-bang!

This Helicopter made its first and only appearance in the first Teen Girl Squad issue, attacking birds with machine guns. Surprisingly, this aircraft was the first object to harm living creatures in the entire series, yet its victims did not include one of the girls. Strong Bad supplied the rapid fire noise of its deadly projectiles.

Dinosaur

Bend It Like Beckhamasaurus Rex

The Dinosaur punted What's Her Face across the cartoon. Just after this, she was heard to remark, "Dag, yo." She is presumed to have died upon landing. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.

Issue 2

Cloud Monster

Bad weather

As the girls go to look so good, a cloud in the background grows angry eyes and a mouthful of sharp teeth. This Cloud Monster quickly chomped on some birds.

No I In Team Boy

No "I" in dead either

No "i" in team boy is a boy who goes out with So and So, which causes her friends to get jealous. When So and So mentions that she's totally crushing, the boy gets hit by a school bus (driven by Arrow'd Guy) marked "CHILDREN". He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.

The Vulture and the Bat

SWOOP'D!!

GRASP'D!

The Vulture swooped The Ugly One when she got jealous of So and So getting the "No I In Team Boy" to date her. The Bat grasped Cheerleader for the same reasons.

Issue 3

Buzzsaw Sun

Preeow!

This sun turned into a buzzsaw, and chopped up some birds in this episode.

Thrift Store Person

Boy or girl?

This person is found at the thrift store that What's Her Face shopped at, where he/she stays behind a rack of shirts, holding a sign that reads, "1 or 2 cent each item." His/Her gender isn't verified.

Possums

"Poooosssssummmmms...!"

A wave of possums, announced by a menacingly voiced "Poooosssssummmmms...!" attacked What's Her Face as she walked home from the thrift store. They got her dirty and tore her clothing, but didn't kill her. When she met up with the other girls, one possum was seen still attacking her. The possum attack apparently made What's Her Face's blood hurt. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.

Issue 4

Brett Bretterson

Cupid strikes back

Brett Bretterson is an imaginary person whom So And So made up in first grade. He is mentioned in Teen Girl Squad Issues 4 and 10. Not paying attention to her friends saying that he's not real, So And So treats Brett as if he was real and acts like she can see and hear him. This causes the other girls to be weirded out. Brett and So And So were going to study together when falling in the Fighting Growlbacks Bottomless Spirit Pit ends their plans abruptly.

So And So is in love with Brett, and when she thinks of him hearts appear over her head. One of them grew a face just as it was pierced with an arrow.

In the tenth episode, So And So states that she and Brett Bretterson are "Splitsville".

Brett may or may not be a real person, too; he is listed in the credits for Limozeen: "but they're in space!" as the "Worst animator". Strong Bad confirms this in the DVD commentary for best thing.

Quarterback

Quarterman

The Quarterback for the Fighting Growlbacks is a target of the affections of Cheerleader. He dismisses her with the quip "How's about you get some brains?" This causes Cheerleader to get CEREBELLUM'D by Arrow'd Guy's Giant Brain Mech. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.

Giant Brain Mech

Cerebellum'd!

The Giant Brain Mech is a giant brain with lips and an eye patch. It is apparently mechanical, because Arrow'd Guy can be seen controlling the thing under a glass dome. The brain CEREBELLUM'D! Cheerleader when the Quarterback suggested that she should go get some brains.

Issue 5

Fat Bird

PERCH!

The fat bird is first seen in Issue 5, perched on the "meanwhile, ON VACATION" sign in the transition scene. Later in the cartoon, when The Ugly One gets nervous and sticks her head in the sand, the fat bird flies down and perches on her side. The bird doesn't seem to do anything after that. It just sits there with its tongue hanging out for the rest of the cartoon.

Olda Boys

I too miss video games

The Olda Boys are college boys that were at the vacation beach with Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One. One misses video games, but the other misses his mom even more. They can combine their sayings into a pretty cool jam. The longer-haired one earned a Quote of the Week. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.

Issue 6

Gift Exchange Lion

Now with more 3-legged action!

This lion, who seems to be missing a leg, appears in Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One all dive into its mouth in pursuit of Decemberween presents, but What's Her Face declines. For some reason the inside of the lion looks like the inside of a whale. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.

Smiley Face Man

A nose from the happy judge

This happy fellow is a judge in the Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. He and the other two judges (who are both Arrow'd Guy) TWO'D The Ugly One for her cannonball into the Gift Exchange Lion's mouth. He rates Cheerleader's dive into the lion's mouth a "nose" along with the other judges. Noticeable is the fact that he can move his arms along his skinny body. His "shoulder" is not visible until he lifts up the sign. Little else is known about this person, or what the value of a "nose" is in competitive Lion's mouth jumping. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.

Hawaiian Guy

Singing about babies

This musician wears a hat, Hawaiian shirt, and plays a ukulele. He sang "Wave o' Babies" as a wave of babies appeared. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.

Wave o' Babies

A virtual tsunami of infants.

These babies are in a giant wave that crashed into What's Her Face. They are seen caving onto What's Her Face, but the actual crash is not shown. It is possible that the wave just swept past without stopping. This is further supported by the fact that after the crash, only two babies are visible clinging onto What's Her Face, while all the others are gone. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.

Gazelle Carcass

Bonus: Half-Digested!

This half-digested animal is presented by The Ugly One at the very end of Decemberween Teen Girl Squad to Cheerleader to her dismay. All of the other girls seem to be pleased at the sight of the dead animal, despite the negative aspects of decomposing carcasses.

Issue 7

Fat Man

Squished.

He's a fat man who wears a singlet similar to Strong Mad's. He fell down a slide and squished Teeny Tiny Cheerleader while she was throwing a tantrum. He bears a striking resemblance to pro wrestler King Kong Bundy.

Bill Bellamy

The bell tolls for thee

This is the bell seen in Issue 7. His role is similar to that of the Intercom, but specific relationship details are unknown. He bears the same name as actor and comedian Bill Bellamy.

Issue 8

Intercom

Who's that hiding in the wheel?

The Intercom is a feature of the Teen Girl Squad's school. It is hanging up high in the girls' classroom. It is responsible for announcing things like the school lunch. It will also give orders on occasion. Later in the cartoon, the Intercom is seen mounted on a robot body, hosting the Battle of the Bands. It introduced the bands "Fatty's Big Chance" and the Teen Girl Squad "Kissyboots." It also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza, nursing a martini.

Floor Tom

Floor Tom, the evil drum

When The Ugly One does her 16-hour drum solo, she was rudely interrupted by an evil floor tom (a type of drum included in a drumset that stands on the floor with 3 legs) when it FLOOR TOMMED her by biting her top half off. This was just one of three events that stopped her drum solo, as she was also STEP-MOMMED and POM POMMED.

Mrs. So-and-so-erson

"YOU LITTLE BRATS BEST SHUT YER YAPS!!!"

So and So's stepmom. See main article: Mrs._So-and-so-erson

Fatty

Consider it Picked!

Fatty is the sole member of the one-man saxophone band, "Fatty's Big Chance." He attends the same school as the Teen Girl Squad members. He played before Kissyboots in the "Battle of The Bands." With his two tone suit and rousing chant of "pick it up, pick it up," Fatty is a ska machine. He also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.

Trolls

KRA'AGH!

The trolls enter So and So's dressing room while So and So is wearing lots of black. In their native tongue, they ask her for her autograph. Apparently So and So can understand them, and is happy to oblige. But before she could sign, she was TWELVE-SIDED DIED!, inexplicably by a 20-sided die. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.

A Shark

A seaworthy bass

Whilst What's Her Face is playing for the battle of the bands, her bass turns into a shark. This causes What's Her Face to comment, "My bass feels seaworthy." The shark quickly bit off What's Her Face's "most of her" (the top half of her body). Amazingly, the shark can also play bass even with no fingers, so Cheerleader made him her new backup band. The shark followed along with the song quite nicely, but was heard chomping Cheerleader as soon as the song was finished.

Issue 9

Learner's Permit Girl

TEN O' CLOCK AND TWO O' CLOCK!

Learner's Permit Girl first appears in Teen Girl Squad Issue 9. She is not a very good driver, and ends up killing Cheerleader. On the plus side, she gives Strong Bad a ride to Babbage's. She also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.

Science Fiction Greg

He knew she'd come back to him

Science Fiction Greg is an old boyfriend of What's Her Face, and, judging by his name, is a science fiction fan. After Cheerleader died, he admits that he knew that she would come back to him. He also claims that his experience points went into triple digits and he has since needed to keep the ladies and valkyries off with a two-handed +3 broad sword. Apparently, this claim bites D N' D Greg's style.

Friends of Science Fiction Greg

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum

Putative friends of Science Fiction Greg. They listen patiently as he brags about his relationship with What's Her Face and his experience points. Character on the left bears a resemblance to an overweight character often found in Gary Larson's Far Side cartoons.

D N'D Greg

An apparent Dungeons and Dragons expert. Science Fiction Greg's boasting bites his style.

Vultures

Vulture'd!

When Mr. Pitters tries to join the Teen Girl Squad, these fiendish birds tell him that he "ain't no Teen Girl" before eating him at a fancy dinner. According to the second vulture, Mr. Pitters tastes "quite good, quite good." They may be an evolution of the vulture from Issue 2. They also appeared in the sweet someteenth birthday party, part of the Tenthennial Extravaganza.

Port-O-John

Starring Johnny Rite There as some sort of king.

Port-O-John is a portable outhouse that came to life and put on a play with So and So once Cheerleader died in Teen Girl Squad Issue 9. It didn't get very good reviews, however, and he is killed by Arrow'd Guy.

Issue 10

A Mighty Warrior

Corn-based products are no place for him

A Mighty Warrior is a tiny samurai armed with a naginata who bursts twice from corn-based products: corn and corn alone and corn chips. Both times he does so because they are "no place for [him]." After emerging from the corn chips, his naginata lathe'd a spinning What's Her Face in two.

Olympic Man and Coach

We're not sure what they're talking about, either

A lonely pair at the "Olympic Race," Olympic Man and Coach prepare for some type of sporting event after being ditched by Cheerleader. Coach apparently brings this about by telling Cheerleader over the phone that "the olympics are soooo dumb!", though Coach vehemently denies this to his well-muscled companion.

Scotsmen

The drunken cartoon Scottsmen set: NOW WITH 50% MORE UNHOLY STENCH!!!

This trio of burly, bearded, kilted Scots were drinking a frothy brew from a keg marked "XXX" when they were inturrupted by Cheerleader's flirtation. Predictably, she was rejected and caber-tossed 23 metres away for her efforts.

Manolios Ugly One

p4wned!

The Ugly One's father. See main article: Manolios Ugly One