Mr. Poofers Must Die

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 00:32, 31 October 2018

"Oh. Sorry. 'The End.'"

The cast tries to create the perfect story to kill off a dog, but something's not right...

Cast (in order of appearance): Marzipan, Homestar Runner, Mr. Poofers, Old Man Rootbeer, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Coach Z, Strong Sad, The King of Town, Pom Pom, The Poopsmith, Strong Mad, Bubs, Homsar (Easter egg)

Places: Marzipan's House,

See Mr. Poofers Must Die Costumes for more information on what everyone was wearing.

Date: Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Running Time: 9:25

Page Title: A Top Notch Quality Ghost Story!

Transcript

{The toon opens with Marzipan playing her guitar in her living room. Streamers resembling the "ghost" from Haunted Photo Booth decorate the room. Homestar walks up and Marzipan turns around.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {angry} Marzipan, it's over! {raises his sword prop}

MARZIPAN: {unfazed} Okay.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I can't take another day of this {plants his sword into the floor} garbage relationship!

MARZIPAN: That's fine.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wait, what day is it?

MARZIPAN: {annoyed} Halloween.

{Homestar produces a book labeled "PLAN THING" and opens it up.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sheepishly} Oops, sorry! I was looking at next week. This is what I'm supposed to say to you today: {jumps up excitedly} Marzipan! This is it! {picks up and raises his sword} This Halloween I'm finally going to tell a top-notch four-and-a-half-stars-with-over-six-hundred-reviews-quality ghost story! And you know what that means!

MARZIPAN: Um, that you're gonna break up with me next week apparently?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {dramatically} Mr. Poofers must die!!

{Spooky music starts as it cuts to a title screen reading "Mr. Poofers Must Die". Mr. Poofers's eyes occasionally briefly flash in place of the O's in the title. The words "A TOP-NOTCH 4½ STARS WITH OVER 600 REVIEWS QUALITY GHOST STORY" appear at the bottom of the screen.}

MARZIPAN: {voiceover} Who the crap is Mr. Poofers?

{The scene transitions to Mr. Poofers on an orange background.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Hey everyone! Hey everyone, look! Hey everyone, look at Mr. Poofers!

{Mr. Poofers sits down, with an accompanying noise.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Mr. Poofers is a dog—

{Mr. Poofers scratches himself with his hind leg and a question mark appears over his head.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} —but he sounds like this!

{As Homestar says each word that Mr. Poofers "sounds like", Mr. Poofers opens his mouth, and the same word appears inside it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Miffa miffa meeka moo!

{Mr. Poofers looks around.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} That is funny talk for a dog!

{Mr. Poofers stands up.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} What a great cloud with legs Mr. Poofers is.

{Mr. Poofers's fur fluffs out to make him look more cloud-like.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Uh, I mean, what a great dog—

{Mr. Poofers returns to normal and scratches himself.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} —Mr. Poofers is!

{The screen changes to a dining room table with three pine cones on it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Mr. Poofers eats pimecones for breakfast, {Mr. Poofers appears and eats half of the first pine cone} lunch, {he eats the second} and dinner. {he eats the third} Imagine that! Pimecones for B, L, and D!

{As he says that last part, placards labeled "B", "L", and "D" fall in front of the half-eaten pine cones. Cut to Old Man Rootbeer, who looks around.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Oh, look! Oh, look, everyone! There's Old Man Rootbeer! Old Man Rootbeer is not a big fan of Mr. Poofers.

{The screen pans over as Mr. Poofers runs up in the background. Old Man Rootbeer shakes his fist at him.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Not really that much of a big fan at all. {As Rootbeer, who points at Mr. Poofers:} That kid eats my pimecones! {normally} Shouted Old Man Rootbeer.

{Cut to Rootbeer and Mr. Poofers, standing near a hammock with four pine cones sitting nearby.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover, as Rootbeer} I'm gonna take a nap on my college hammock, {Rootbeer shakes his fist} so don't eat my pimecones! {normally} Old Man Rootbeer told Mr. Poofers. {as Mr. Poofers} Miffa miffa!

{Rootbeer lies down on the hammock, and his hat falls over his face.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} After a few moments, Old Man Rootbeer had fallen a-slumber.

{Mr. Poofers sneaks closer.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Juuust when the moment was right... Mr. Poofers stole his beard!

{Mr. Poofers takes Rootbeer's beard and runs off. Rootbeer jumps up, his entire face now covered in the remnants of his beard, and shakes his fist.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} What a prize!

{Cut to Mr. Poofers happily hugging the beard. A "ding" sound effect plays as the beard shines.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} An old man's beard, no less!

{Cut to Homestar, standing next to a table with a candle on it, as silhouettes of the other characters look on. White noise plays for a few seconds as he looks around. Cut to a shot of the other main characters.}

STRONG BAD: Ummmm... what did I just listen to?

{Cut back to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, sorry. "The end."

{Cut to Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: Is that what you dragged us all here for?!

{Cut to Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: Wasn't Mr. Poofers supposed to die?

{Cut to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, man! Did it happen again?! Every time I try and tell a spooky Mr. Poofers story—

{Cut to Marzipan.}

MARZIPAN: Which has now been exactly one time.

{Cut to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: He always survives! I thought, if I could finally kill him off, it would definitely become a top-notch four-and-a-half-stars-with-over-six-hundred-reviews-quality ghost story.

{Cut to Bubs.}

BUBS: But it didn't even sound like you tried to off Mr. Poofers in the first place.

{Cut to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, but I did. Watch this: I'm about to say "Then Mr. Poofers' head fell off and he died, died, died." Ahem.

{Cut to Mr. Poofers walking down the street.}

Fun Facts

External Links

• watch "Mr. Poofers Must Die" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "Mr. Poofers Must Die"
• watch "Mr. Poofers Must Die" on YouTube