I Killed Pom Pom
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Toon Category: Holiday Toon |
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Homestar tries to cover up his "murder" of Pom Pom.
Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Pom Pom, Strong Bad, Bubs, Coach Z, The King of Town, The Poopsmith, Homsar (Easter egg), Strong Mad, The Cheat, Strong Sad, Marzipan.
See I Killed Pom Pom Costumes for more information on what everyone was wearing.
Places: The Field, Bubs' Concession Stand, The King of Town's castle, Basement of the Brothers Strong, Marzipan's House.
Date: Thursday, October 30, 2014
Running Time: 7:48
Page Title: Bewaouw! Take Caouw! Bewauw!
Contents |
Transcript
{Open in the field. Homestar and Pom Pom are standing in front of an inflatable pumpkin.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh man Pom Pom, this Halloween is gonna be the Christmas ball! Hot tricks, cool treats, good friends, and MURDER!
POM POM: bubbles
HOMESTAR RUNNER: What? Murder? Nah, that doesn't sound like something I would say. I was probably talking about the crazy cool air, the falling leaves settling, the MURDER!
POM POM: bubbles
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Nah man, you're hearing things, I was just talking about MURDER. And like this time of years there's sometimes a little bit of MURDER, and maybe a little bit of MURDER. I would never say anything about- WAH! Murder! Pom Pom! What happened? Did you get popped? Say a few bubbles! You can't be dead! You're my only friend and concubine! Oh I should really look up what that word means!
STRONG BAD: Woah, what manner of stitch witchery have I stumbled upon this Hallows-eve?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh Strong Bad, I think my evil jealous side secretly killed Pom Pom without even telling my dopey lovable side!
STRONG BAD: Okay, Homestar. Unckie Strong Bad is gonna help you get through this. Now, tell me exactly what happened.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, it all started 117 days ago... A sign pops up that say four hours later. Cut back to The Field at night, with Strong Bad and Homestar in costume.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: ...and I turned back around, and there was a puddle of Pom Pom at my feet!
STRONG BAD: And no one else saw anything?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: No one! Well, there was that inflatable pumpkin, but I'm pretty sure he said he had a previous engagement. Man, I like that pumpkin. I should really get his phone number.
STRONG BAD: Well, it definitely sounds like you killed Pom Pom. First thing you need to do is dispose of the body. Here, go to Bubs' and get everything on this laminated murder cover-up check list. Plus a twelver of Cold Ones and a dozen Maple Bismarck's. For the cover up. Than meet me back at my basement.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks Strong Bad, you're a real cartoon pall!
STRONG BAD: Oh, this is gonna be a real good night. cut to Bubs' Concession Stand
BUBS: Heh heh, I'd like to see those teenagers try to egg the concession stand this year, now that I own an ostrich farm!
COACH Z: Boy I'll say! And these piña coladas are top notch!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh hey there, say there Bubs!
BUBS: Happy Halloween, Homestar!
COACH Z: Yeah! And I'm standing here!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Just the essentials tonight, just the essentials. A 50 gallon drum of bleach...
BUBS: Check.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: ...and a 50 gallon drum of saw blades...
BUBS: Sounds good.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: ...and a 50 gallon drum of body bags.
BUBS: Reasonable.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Boy Homestar, you've got this. These guys don't expect a thing! Just order these last few everyday items and we're in the clear! Um... I need a... twelve-pack of cold ones, and um... a dozen maple bismarcks I DON'T KNOW WHAT BISMARCKS ARE I KILLED POM POM.
BUBS: Simmer down Homestar, we've all made quote unquote mistakes.
COACH Z: Yeah, who hasn't slipped up and engaged in a little, quote unquote, pre-meditated murder in cold blood. Am I right?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: So what do I do now?
BUBS: You need to establish an alibi!
COACH Z: Yeah, with witnesses! And if you's can swing it, wetnesses!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, I can do that, I can do that, I can do that, I can do that-
BUBS: Homestar!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yep, sorry, got it, pweow!
BUBS: Good kid, that Homestar... should we light him up?
COACH Z: Absalortly!
{Cut to the castle. The Poopsmith and the King Of Town are standing out front.}
KING OF TOWN: Gah, I keep telling you Poopsmith, I didn't do it, stop acting like my dad!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {talking into a "burner" phone"} What? Yeah, I've been here all the live-long day. At the KOT's castle, or as I like to call it, alibi city. Who? Pom Pom? Never heard of him! Sounds like someone who is still alive, though. Okay corroborating witness, bye! Click!
KING OF TOWN: Ahem!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh! Hey Can Of Town, Tootsmith, you guys hear that legitimate conversation I was just having? So legitimate.
KING OF TOWN: So you've been here at the castle all day?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yep! Right here! Innocent as charged!
KING OF TOWN: Ah-ha! I told you I didn't eat your pile of whatsit! It was him!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh crap... literal crap...
{The Poopsmith raises his claw-hand menacingly.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ah! Objection! Leading the witness! {runs off}
{Cut to The Basement. Strong Bad, Strong Mad, The Cheat, and Pom Pom are sitting around.}
STRONG BAD: ...and he totally thinks the inflatable pumpkin is you, Pom Pom!
POM POM: bubbles
STRONG BAD: He also tried to get its phone number, which is more than a little weird.
HOMESTAR: Unkie Strong Bad, I need more help!
STRONG BAD: Pom Pom, quick, hide!
POM POM: bubbles
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Things have gone downhill, not only did I murder Pom Pom, it's also on record that I ate fifteen hundred pounds of crap.
STRONG MAD: laughs
THE CHEAT: laughs
STRONG BAD: (laughing) Oh ho, stifle a laugh. Well, you know what you gotta do now, don't you?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I will literally do whatever comes out of that sweet rectangular mouth next.
STRONG BAD: Uh, in that case, you gotta get me... sixteen dozen maple bismarcks.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Done!
STRONG BAD: These are collaches, I said bismarks!
STRONG BAD: {eating} Now that's more like it! Now you gotta find a patsy and pin that murder on him like a corsage on a puffy-dressed prom date!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: You mean like with a lot of blood and them going, "Ow, ow, Homestar, ow, quit it, I'm not going to prom with you anymore! And I hate Bennigan's!"
STRONG BAD: Yeah, something like that. Now go stash Pom Pom's body at their house!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: But who I'm supposed to pin this murder on?
STRONG BAD: The most unsuspecting saps you can find...
{Cut to Marzipan's house. Strong Sad is sitting on the couch}
STRONG SAD: {hisses}
{Marzipan walks in.}
MARZIPAN: Hey Strong Sad, there's a bad horror movie on. Wanna make snappy comments and obscure references while we watch it?
STRONG SAD: You know I can't see, I just drew these eyes on my hands.
MARZIPAN: Why don't you just take your hands down?
STRONG SAD:: Uh, because I might have super glued my eyes shut...
MARZIPAN: What?
STRONG SAD: For authenticity! I was trying to be a cosplay-don-air!
MARZIPAN: That's a word you just made up!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {entering} Ah-ha! I knew you two were up to something!
STRONG SAD: Ahh, cosplay-dang!
MARZIPAN: Okay, I admit it! My homeade cabucha is just apple cider vinegar with Strong Sad's... phlugus floating in it.
STRONG SAD: My secret shame slash finest hour!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Don't play games with me, you blew up Pom Pom! You stuffed his body right here under the couch all day probably, this murdered him.
MARZIPAN: This again?
STRONG SAD: I hear a yonder ruckus!
{Cut to the field, The King Of Town, The Poopsmith, Bubs, and Coach Z come in.}
KING OF TOWN: Gah, what's all this noise? It's so lame!
COACH Z: What's the what's the scenario?
{Pom Pom appears behind a bush.}
STRONG SAD: Look! A specter rises!
{Strong Mad and The Cheat throw Pom Pom into the air}
STRONG BAD: Oh no, Homestar! It's Pom Pom's ghost come back to haunt you! Don't you want to, you know, pee your pants, or do something else embarrassing while all these people are here?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: No way Unkie- {runs into the point of Strong Bad's costume} Ow! Sharp... No way Unkie Strong Bad, you guys have shown me the light! It's time to fight murder with {breaks off the point of Strong Bad's costume} murder!
STRONG BAD: No, wait!
{Homestar jumps up and throws the point at Pom Pom, who explodes.}
STRONG BAD: Homestar, that wasn't a ghost! That was actually him! You just... you... you...
ALL: You killed Pom Pom!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uhh, duh!
{The "I Killed Pom Pom" title card comes up again, which changes into card reading Next Season}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {narrating over the title card.} Next season on Homestar Runner dot com...
{Cut to the field, Homestar, dressed in his normal attire, is standing next to the inflatable pumpkin.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Dang inflatable pumpkin, you're a way better best friend than floaty old Pom Pom ever was.
{The ghost of Pom Pom deflates the pumpkin and brandishes the point from Strong Bad's costume.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ahh!
{cut to a title card, which shows Homestar cut in two, reading "I Killed Hometar." This fades into the cast standing in the field.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on the Poopsmith's shovel after he intimidates Homestar to see a scene with Homsar:
{Cut to the field, where Homsar is standing. Homestar runs past.}
HOMSAR: Ahhh. If you need me, I'll be loped after dark.
- At the end, click on Bubs:
STRONG BAD: Can't stand it, Cochese, I know you planned it.
BUBS: Imma set it straight, this watergate!
{the fish eye lens sound effect plays.}
- At the end, click on Strong Bad:
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Strong Bad, I really like your Jay Leno costume. That guy had a really pointy forehead.
STRONG BAD: Nah, come on, don't you remember? {signing} Oh its a good time for large headed monstrosities. Oh! To sell you cheeseburgers. Hey! Strong Bad tonight!
- At the end, click on Homestar:
STRONG SAD: {laughing} Hey Homestar, where does the dark lord Sauron live again?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: What you talking about like Mordor? The land of Mordor? Where the shadows lie?
STRONG SAD: {laughing} Yeah, and uh, what illegal act did you commit against Pom Pom again?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, you mean murder?
STRONG SAD: {laughs}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: You know come to think about it, theres a lot of murder in Mordor. Orcs murdering wargs, wargs murdering orcs, {uniteligible mumbling. Homestar coughs up some candy and starts talking in an extremely human-like voice.} Excuse me, orcs murdering wargs in the land of Mordor. Heh heh, thats better.
""STRONG SAD: Ahh!
- At the end, click on Coach Z:
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Coach Z, you really nailed that evil aqua fresh costume
COACH Z: {rapping} Back in the days on the boulevard in London, we used the corporate teens, and the prices was fortin'
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ew, maybe you were fortin'.
- At the end, click on Strong Mad:
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Strong Mad, I really like your muscle toy costume. I had a bunch of those little pink guys. I used to play with 'em in the sand box... 'till the cat started pooping in there.
STRONG MAD: I'M A BIG BADDITY.
- At the end, click on Pom Pom:
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Pom Pom, I really like you Daub Delouise costume. I definitely know why that guy was famous! Boatnicks, use is the boatnick maybe? Can I get a boatnick!
STRONG SAD: Boatnick!
Fun Facts
Explanations
- A burner phone is a phone generally used to conduct illegal business, with the intent being to not have the phone be able to be tracked back to the owner.
- A cosplay is a form of costumes roll-playing, most well-associated with Anime and comic culture.
- A concubine is a woman who lives with, and has a relationship with, a man to whom she is not, and cannot be, married to. Typically, she is of a lower class than the man and his wives.
Trivia
- This is the longest Homestar Runner toon to date.
- Pom Pom's death was first speculated upon by Strong Bad in pom pom
External Links
- watch "I Killed Pom Pom" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "I Killed Pom Pom"
- forum thread re: "I Killed Pom Pom"
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