Dangeresque Roomisode X: Inspection Certificate on File in Building Office Responses

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These are all of the responses in Dangeresque Roomisode X: Inspection Certificate on File in Building Office.

Spoiler warning: Plot or ending details follow.

Contents

[edit] Intro

{Dangeresque Too is standing on top of a building. The camera zooms in, swiveling around him in 3D.}
NARRATOR: High above Brainblow City, Dangeresque Too finishes his nightly vigil...ance. {2D close-up} Vigil-vigilance.
DANGERESQUE TOO: Looks like crime's gone to bed for the night. {his sunglasses sparkle with a "ding!"}
{Dangeresque Too walks into an elevator, again in 3D.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: I'll go in the elevator.
{Cut to gameplay. Dangeresque Too is standing in the elevator. A monitor buzzes with static, and a silhouette appears on it.}
BAD GUY: {with a low, distorted voice} Going down, Dangeresque Too?
DANGERESQUE TOO: I'd recognize that bad guy voice anywhere! It's a bad guy!
BAD GUY: Allow me to put you on the EXPRESS lift! HaHaHaHaHa!!
{The elevator plummets. Cut back to the inside.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: {rhythmically} I better find a way, to stop this runaway, eleva- {brief pause} tor.

[edit] Elevator

[edit] Dangeresque Too

{Dangeresque Too spins his propeller cap and makes a whirring sound.}

[edit] Brolly → Dangeresque Too

{In the elevator, while it's still falling}
{Dangeresque Too opens the brolly and holds it up, then closes it.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Huh. I guess that won't slow me down inside the elevator. Always worked when I was a kid jumpin off the shed.

{In the hatch, while the elevator is falling}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Yeah! I'll open this thing up and it'll slow us right down!
{He opens the brolly and flies upward as the elevator falls and explodes. Cut back to Dangeresque Too as he floats down.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: It totally worked!
{The brolly stops moving.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Right?
{The brolly collapses, sending Dangeresque Too plummeting down the elevator shaft. He explodes at the bottom. Game over.}

{After the elevator has stopped}
{Dangeresque Too opens the brolly, then closes it.}

[edit] Cuppa Ice → Dangeresque Too

DANGERESQUE TOO: I daren't go a chomping. This ice looks hard as diamonds.

[edit] Keycard → Dangeresque Too

DANGERESQUE TOO: There's no room number on it. Guess I'll just have to try it out somewheres.

[edit] Bib → Dangeresque Too

{If the bib does not have coffee on it}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Maybe this'll help me NOT match those guards' description. {puts it on} Aw man! Whoever ate this was messy in exactly the shape of a star! It still looks like I'm wearing a dang ol' star shirt! {puts it away}

{If the bib has coffee on it}
DANGERESQUE TOO: There we go! This messy bib may look and smell like coffee barf, but at least it hides my star shirt!

[edit] Kid Meal → Dangeresque Too

DANGERESQUE TOO: {puts on bag} Aw man! My propeller poked through! But it still horrifyingly covers up my cool shades. I'll wait to wear until I have all the pieces of my threesguise. {puts it away}

[edit] Hat → Dangeresque Too

DANGERESQUE TOO: This covers up my propeller cap real nice. Grammaw nice. I'll wait until I have my full threesguise to put it on. {puts it away}

[edit] Any disguise piece → Dangeresque Too

{When all three items are acquired}
{Not in the lobby}
DANGERESQUE TOO: I think I have all that I need to conceal my identity! I should prolly head to the lobby. Prolly lobby.

{In the lobby, the ending plays}

[edit] Any other item → Dangeresque Too

DANGERESQUE TOO: That's not gonna help me threesguise my appearance from those guys. Threesguise guys.

[edit] Brolly

DANGERESQUE TOO: Prolly somebody left their brolly. Prolly brolly. {takes it}

[edit] Ceiling Tile

DANGERESQUE TOO: Looks like an access panel. I could prolly jump up there, but I need to get it open first.

[edit] Brolly → Ceiling Tile

{Dangersesque Too pokes the ceiling tile, exposing a hole in the ceiling.}

[edit] Open Tile

DANGERESQUE TOO: {unsubtitled} Doing!
{Dangeresque Too leaps up into the elevator shaft.}

[edit] Brolly → Open Tile

DANGERESQUE TOO: I already got it open. I can just doing-jump up there.

[edit] Any other item → Open Tile

DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't need to chuck nothin up there.

[edit] Buttons

{First time only, when the elevator is falling}
{Cut to the button panel.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: These buddins have been tampered with! I'm pretty sure I'm headed for the ground floor no matter what I press at this point.
{Cut away from the panel.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: I shouldn't mess with these until I've stopped the elevator!

DANGERESQUE TOO: I shouldn't mess with these until I've stopped the elevator!

{First time only, after the elevator has been stopped}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Only some of the buddins still work. And who knows what floor they'll take me to.
{Cut to the button panel. There are eight buttons, but only four are functional.}

[edit] Any item → Buttons

DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't think anything I use is gonna fix these buddins.

[edit] Poster

{First time only}
DANGERESQUE TOO: It's the menu for room service.

{Cut to the poster.}

[edit] Menu Item

{First time only}
DANGERESQUE TOO: "The Romantic Dinner for Teux. Steak with green shreds. Bubbly Champlain and a rose for rose-mance."

DANGERESQUE TOO: I was really hopin that was egg nog in those glasses.

[edit] More on Back

{When the glass is not cut}
DANGERESQUE TOO: It says there's more on the back but that innocent menu is trapped inside this infernal glass frame!

{When the glass is cut, first time only}
DANGERESQUE TOO: You're free now, Room Service Menu! Free to be flipped over!
{The menu flips to reveal the backside.}

[edit] Kid Meal

DANGERESQUE TOO: The Upside-Down Clown Kid Meal. *Limit one per kidstomer. No sharing fries. Or ketchup. Or joy.

DANGERESQUE TOO: That clown face is Marshie levels of disturbing.
CLOWN FACE: {Marshie's voice} You ain't kiddin, Hardcastle!

[edit] Messy Ol' Ribs

DANGERESQUE TOO: "Messy ol' ribs. Half rack. Full problems. Bib included."

DANGERESQUE TOO: Kinda looks like a pan flute. {singing} Poooot-poot-poot-poooooot. Pan flute.

[edit] Brolly → Poster

DANGERESQUE TOO: That poster's behind impact-proof glass and the tip o' this brolly isn't sharp enough to cut through it, laddie.

[edit] Washer → Poster

DANGERESQUE TOO: That will just make an ear-crawling, skin-curdling screech. So let's hear it! {scratches the washer on the glass, making a high-pitched noise}

[edit] Diamond → Poster

DANGERESQUE TOO: Let's see if this diamond will cut through that glass frame.
{Dangeresque Too uses the diamond to cut the glass. The glass cracks and shatters.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Bowlegged!

[edit] Flower → Poster

DANGERESQUE TOO: GET FLORAL! Nope. Nothin.

[edit] Any other item → Poster

{If the poster is behind glass}
DANGERESQUE TOO: That won't help me free this innocent advertisement from its glass prison!

{If the glass is broken}
DANGERESQUE TOO: I already gave this valiant young menu its freedoms.

[edit] Shaft

[edit] Emergency Brake

{If the brolly is not hooked onto the hatch}
{Dangeresque Too pulls the lever. Sparks fly out of it.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: That slowed it down a little, but didn't stop it! I gotta find a way to slow us down even more!

{If the brake is activated}
{Dangeresque Too pulls the lever back.}

{If the brolly is hooked onto the hatch}
{Dangeresque Too pulls the lever, slowing the elevator to a stop. There is a toolbox in a cubby in the back wall.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: {taking brolly} Phew! That was close. Now I can get back down to the lobby and scramconnoiter out of here.

[edit] Any item → Emergency Brake

DANGERESQUE TOO: I'm not doin it.

[edit] Hatch

{Dangeresque Too closes the hatch. It is now labeled "Handle".}

[edit] Brolly → Hatch

DANGERESQUE TOO: There's nothing to hook the brolly onto.

[edit] Handle

Dangeresque Too opens the hatch. It is now labeled "Hatch".}

[edit] Brolly → Handle

{If the emergency brake isn't pulled}
DANGERESQUE TOO: That slowed things down a little. But there's still a good deal of "plummet to my death" happening.

{If the emergency brake is pulled}
{The umbrella opens, slowing the elevator to a stop. There is a toolbox in a cubby in the back wall.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: {taking brolly} Phew! That was close. Now I can get back down to the lobby and scramconnoiter out of here.

[edit] Back Inside

{Dangeresque jumps back down into the elevator.}

[edit] Any item → Back Inside

DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't need to drop it down, drop it down.

[edit] Lobby

{First time only, after stopping the elevator}
{The elevator door opens to the lobby. Two silhouettes stand in front of the door.}
LEFT BAD GUY: Is that him?
RIGHT BAD GUY: He matches the description. Propeller cap, cool shades, star shirt.
LEFT BAD GUY: Do we shoot him?
RIGHT BAD GUY: I think so?
DANGERESQUE TOO: Uh oh!
{Dangeresque Too quickly ducks to close the elevator as bullets dent the door.}
{Title card appears.}
NARRATOR: Roomisode X: Inspection Certificate On File In Building Office!
{Cut back to gameplay.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Guess I'm not gettin out of here til I DON'T match their description. Star shirt, cool shades, propeller cap. I need a threesguise!

[edit] Elevator Doors

DANGERESQUE TOO: I can't go out there yet! Those guards will shoot me on sight! I still match their description too much!

DANGERESQUE TOO: I really shouldn't go out there yet.

DANGERESQUE TOO: Yeah, maybe the guards have left by now.
{He opens the door. They have not.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Oh, hi guys.
{The screen is covered in shooting effects, and Dangeresque Too's cool shades and cap tumble to the floor. Game over.}

{After Kid Meal and Hat have been used on Dangeresque Too}
DANGERESQUE TOO: I still match the guards' description too much! I've got my cool shades and my propeller cap covered up but I still gotta do something about my star shirt!

[edit] Any item → Elevator Doors

DANGERESQUE TOO: T'willn't help me, that.

[edit] Shaft (Lobby)

[edit] Toolbox

DANGERESQUE TOO: Some ol' toolbox. Or maybe a lunchbox? {opens it} Definitely toolbox. There was just this metal washer inside. {takes the washer} Which I guess could be somebody's lunch... {dramatic close-up} IF YOU'RE A ROBOT!!

[edit] Any item → Toolbox

DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't need to put anything in there. I should see if I can take somethin out.

[edit] Keycard

DANGERESQUE TOO: That's where that thing that Dagger Skew dropped landed! That great orange thing!

[edit] Brolly → Keycard

{Dangeresque Too knocks down the keycard.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: It's a room keycard!

[edit] Any other item → Keycard

DANGERESQUE TOO: That's not gonna help me get that thin line of orange and black pixels down there.

[edit] Floor 7 1/2?

{First time only}
WOMAN: Ugh! The elevator's stuck in between floors again.
MAN: How are we supposed to murder Dangeresque Too if the stupid elevators won't work?
DANGERESQUE TOO: More guards! Good thing they can't see me down here!

[edit] Certain Death

DANGERESQUE TOO: {crouches down for a moment} I don't think I wanna climb in there.

DANGERESQUE TOO: On second thought, it's always wise to keep clickin on somethin labeled Certain Death! Here I go! {crouches down}
{Dangeresque Too falls down the elevator shaft and explodes. Game over.}

[edit] Any item → Certain Death

DANGERESQUE TOO: When I was a kid I lost a rubber walrus eraser down an elevator shaft. I can't risk losin' nothin else!

[edit] Loafers

{If the quarter has not been taken}
{Close up on the woman's shoes. There is a quarter in one of them.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: This lady's wearing a sweet pair of quarterloafers! She must be rich!
{Cut to elevator.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: I'm a snitch one of the quarters!
WOMAN: Oh! Something touched my foot!
DANGERESQUE TOO: Or maybe not.

DANGERESQUE TOO: I'm a snitch one of the quarters!
WOMAN: Something keeps brushing against my foot!
DANGERESQUE TOO: Or maybe not.

{If the quarter has been taken}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Boop! {wiggles the shoe}

[edit] Washer → Loafers

{Before taking the quarter}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Lessee if I can swap out this washer for that quarter without her noticing.
{Close-up. The swap is made. Cut to elevator.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: I did it!
WOMAN: Did you just touch my feet?
MAN: Um. Gross, no.

{After taking the quarter}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Naw, I don't need another quarter.

[edit] Quarter → Loafers

DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't want to put it back. I might could get me a gumball later!

[edit] Flower → Loafers

{First time only}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Maybe I can aroma up these stinky feets.
WOMAN: ACHOO!
MAN: What was that?! I almost shot you!
WOMAN: Something activated my allergies.

WOMAN: ACHOO!

[edit] Any other item → Loafers

DANGERESQUE TOO: This plus feet is NOT an equation I need to solve for.

[edit] Sneakers

{Dangeresque Too unties the man's sneakers.}
WOMAN: Oh, your shoes have come untied.
{If coffee is not dripping on his head}
MAN: Huh. That weird.
{If coffee is dripping on his head}
MAN: Prolly didn't notice because of this coffee drippin on my head.
{He bends down to retie his shoes. If wearing a hat, he drops it.}

WOMAN: Oh, your shoes are untied again.
{If coffee is not dripping on his head}
MAN: Huh. That's still weird.
{If coffee is dripping on his head}
MAN: Gimme a break! I got a bad case of coffee drippins!
{He bends down to retie his shoes. If wearing a hat, he drops it.}

[edit] Any item → Sneakers

DANGERESQUE TOO: This plus feet is NOT an equation I need to solve for.

[edit] Hat

{Dangeresque Too takes the hat.}
MAN: Hey! Where'd my hat go?
WOMAN: You already lost the hat I just gave you?! How gratingly ungrateful!
MAN: Shut up lady!

[edit] Shaft (Floor 7 1/2)

{First time only}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Oh good. They can't see me up here either.

[edit] Guy's Head

MAN: Elevator's stuck again. Y'ever wonder if there's like a tiny floor between the floors?
WOMAN: No. I have a medical condition where I'm physically unable to wonder.
MAN: Can you at least ponder?
WOMAN: Ponder? What've I got to ponder?

MAN: So how long you been working for our mysterious bad guy employer?
WOMAN: Not long. I got the job through MoidaPro Henchman Placement Services. I just love a good hench!
MAN: MoidaPro, eh? I use Staffin' 'n' Stabbin'.

{Following the man's first line, first time after putting the flower on the lady's hat}
WOMAN: I'm currently wondering what is going on with my hat! It's itchy and making my forehead break out!
MAN: It's too bad I don't want or need a hat. I guess you'll just have to stand there and turn all red and puffy.
WOMAN: Yes, I suppose it's the only way.

{Following the man's first line, if the flower is on the lady's hat}
WOMAN: No time for idle chit-chat! I need to get rid of this hat!
MAN: Wish I could help.

{If the coffee is dripping from the floor above}
MAN: Ugh! This coffee drippin on my head sucks! Wish I had a hat.
WOMAN: Well, you can have my hat. It's giving me an allergic reaction all of a sudden.
MAN: Oh wow! Thanks lady!

{After he puts on the hat}
MAN: Aah. That's so much better. Now the coffee's just watering the flowers! Everybody wins!

{If Dangeresque Too has taken the hat}
MAN: I guess I'll just let this coffee drip slowly bore a hole through my skull.
WOMAN: That sounds like a good plan, dear.

[edit] Any item → Guy's Head

DANGERESQUE TOO: Naw, I don't wanna risk alerting him to my presence.

[edit] Lady with Hat

DANGERESQUE TOO: Ooh, that hat would make a perfect threesguise component!
{Dangeresque Too tries to take it}
WOMAN: Ahh! Salmon and aspic! I think my hat just self-fidgeted!
MAN: Uh, I'm gonna leave that one alone.
DANGERESQUE TOO: Gotta find another way to get it.

WOMAN: How long are we going to have to wait here? I wanna murder that nice young private eye.
{First time only, if coffee is not dripping from the floor above}
MAN: I dunno. But I heard the stairs were burned down by termites. So it looks like we're gonna have to WAIT.
{If the coffee is dripping from the floor above}
MAN: I hope it's soon! This coffee drippin on my head sucks! Wish I had a hat.
WOMAN: If my hat weren't so comfortable I'd let you borrow it.
MAN: Yeah, I get it. Too bad I can't be bothered to move a few inches to the left or right.

{If the flower is on the hat}
WOMAN: Augh! My hat's gotten itchy all of the sudden! Like I'm having an allergic reaction!

{If the lady has removed her hat}
WOMAN: Well, everything is now so great. The end.

{If Dangeresque Too has taken the hat}
WOMAN: I hope the elevator starts working again soon. I'd like to murder Dangeresque Too before my Garden Club meeting. The ladies will be all agog! Agog at the murder!

WOMAN: Let's not talk for a while.

WOMAN: Tri-fold board. There, I finally said it!

[edit] Flower → Lady with Hat

DANGERESQUE TOO: Let's add some real flora to this plastic mastery. {places the rose}
WOMAN: Augh! My hat's gotten itchy all of the sudden! Like I'm having an allergic reaction!
{If coffee is not dripping on the man's head}
MAN: It's too bad I don't want or need a hat. I guess you'll just have to stand there and turn all red and puffy.
WOMAN: Yes, I suppose it's the only way.
{If coffee is dripping on the man's head}
MAN: I'll take that hat off your hands. I could use it to block this coffee drip!
WOMAN: Oh, you're a life saver. Thank you dear!
{She takes off the hat and puts it on the man's head.}
MAN: Aah. That's so much better. Now the coffee's just watering the flowers! Everybody wins!

[edit] Any other item → Lady with Hat

{If she's wearing a hat}
DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't wanna put that on her hat!

{If she's not wearing a hat}
DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't want her to notice me!

[edit] Vending

[edit] Coffee Machine

{First time only}
DANGERESQUE TOO: It's an old coffee vending machine. Still only costs a quarter!

DANGERESQUE TOO: Lessee, Light Roast, Mild Roast, Hardly Roast, and See-Thru Roast. Aw man, this thing don't got no Hot Jones?

[edit] Washer → Coffee Machine

DANGERESQUE TOO: Aw man. It doesn't work. Guess I need an actual quarter.

[edit] Quarter → Coffee Machine

{Dangeresque Too puts the quarter inside. A cup is dispensed. Coffee pours into the cup, melting it.}
{First time only}
DANGERESQUE TOO: That scalding coffee straight up vaporized that styrofoam cup! At least it gave me my quarter back.

DANGERESQUE TOO: It just sits there for a sec and then VOIP!! No more coffee. At least it gave me my quarter back.

[edit] Any other item → Coffee Machine

DANGERESQUE TOO: Um, I think it only takes quarters.

[edit] Cup

DANGERESQUE TOO: I got the styro before that coffee went pyro.
{The coffee pours out from the machine and leaks out onto the floor}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Ooh, Puddleman's Coffee.

[edit] Puddle

DANGERESQUE TOO: Looks like it might be seepin through the floor tiles.

[edit] Cup → Puddle

DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't wanna risk melting my great new cup! What a cup that is!

[edit] Any other item → Puddle

DANGERESQUE TOO: A bad idea all around!

[edit] Bib → Puddle

DANGERESQUE TOO: Soppins!
{He wipes the coffee with the bib}
DANGERESQUE TOO: The bib is covered in coffee BBQ grodiness now. And the puddle kinda looks n' smells like barf. Hooray!

[edit] Ice Machine

{Ice comes out of the machine.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: It made the ice go down through the little grate. It was a little great.

[edit] Cup → Ice Machine

{The cup is filled with ice.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: I filled my cup up with ice!

[edit] Any other item → Ice Machine

DANGERESQUE TOO: That doesn't need any ice.

[edit] Romance Debris

DANGERESQUE TOO: Whoa! There's no food left. Maybe the Coffee and Ice Machines had a romantic dinner together. A ro-ro din-din! Anyways, I'm takin this flower. Might come in handy. {picks up rose} Happy anniversary you two. May you one day make beautiful cold brews together.

[edit] Shaft (Vending)

[edit] Callbox

{First time only}
DANGERESQUE TOO: An emergency callbox! They'll be able to help me!
ROOM SERVICE: Room Service. How may I help you?
DANGERESQUE TOO: There are armed guards trying to kill me and the elevator's all messed up! Send help!
ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, this line is just for room service. May I take your order?
DANGERESQUE TOO: Why is there a room service callbox in the elevator shaft?!
ROOM SERVICE: We get a lot of hungry spies and action heroes in this hotel, sir. There's also a callbox in the ventilation ducts. Should you have to crawl through those. Now may I take your order?
{A menu appears}

{If not all items have been ordered}
ROOM SERVICE: Room Service. May I take your order?
{Um...}
DANGERESQUE TOO: How bout an every order of food dog and a manilla cheescoke?
ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, you have to order off the menu.

DANGERESQUE TOO: Yes, I'd like twelve please.
ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry, twelve what?
DANGERESQUE TOO: Of them. I'd like twelve of them.
ROOM SERVICE: I'm going to need an actual menu item.

DANGERESQUE TOO: 3 bottles of your most requisite Charmande J'eupronde please vou plais.
ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, we do not accept pretend French.

DANGERESQUE TOO: Joke joke joke.
ROOM SERVICE: Order off the menu.

DANGERESQUE TOO: Can I get 10-12 of those fat little ketchup bottles?
ROOM SERVICE: Maybe. IF YOU ORDER OFF THE FREAKING MENU!

{Romance Dinner}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Uh yes, I'd like the Romantic Dinner with Steak and Green Item.

{If Poster was checked, Messy Ol' Ribs and Kid Meal becomes available.}
{Messy Ol' Ribs}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Lemme get the Messy ol' Ribs please.

{Kid Meal}
DANGERESQUE TOO: I want the Kid Meal! For a singular kid!
ROOM SERVICE: Our most popular item.

{If food is picked, continues below}
ROOM SERVICE: Very good, sir. What's the room number?
{If the Penthouse was not identified, a menu appears}
{Umm...}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Uh, can't you just like triungulate my bluetooths or something? {not subtitled} Locate me that way?
ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, I'm going to need an actual room number.

DANGERESQUE TOO: Can you deliver it to the "Business Center?" Y'know that sad little alcove that just has an ancient deskjet and a CAT 1 cable?
ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, I'm going to need an actual room number.

{Vending}
{When ordering the Romance Dinner}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Uh, just leave it by the vending machines how bout?
ROOM SERVICE: You want the Romance Dinner Package delivered to the vending machines?
DANGERESQUE TOO: Yeah! It's where me and my spousetype first met. She was getting ice when I burned two of my eyeballs with hot coffee. She put the ice on my eyes until the governor's chimpanzee—
ROOM SERVICE: Okay FINE! But just this once. Your order will be there any second.
{After ordering the Romance Dinner}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Uh, just leave it by the vending machines how bout?
ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, I'm going to need an actual room number.

{The Lobby?}
DANGERESQUE TOO: You can just leave it in the lobby. Between the armed guards. It's cool, it's cool.
ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, I'm going to need an actual room number.

{Stuck Floor}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Can you just leave it between two floors that I don't know what they are? There were some people there with shoes.
ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, I'm going to need an actual room number.

{If the Penthouse room was identified, continues below automatically.}
{First time only}
DANGERESQUE TOO: I'm staying in room 802, don't you know.
ROOM SERVICE: Ah! Our VIP! Right away sir! We pride ourselves on unrealistically fast service! Can I get you something else?

ROOM SERVICE: That will be at your door in moments. Can I get you something else?
{If all items have been ordered and the hat is acquired}
{SEND HELP!}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Get hot water, get some iodine, get some disinfectant!

DANGERESQUE TOO: If you won't send help, will you send me... um... a letter? Tell me bout your family?

DANGERESQUE TOO: I need reinforcements!

DANGERESQUE TOO: Mr. Me-sident, we have a situation. I'd like me to come with me to safety.

DANGERESQUE TOO: There's a guy! With a spoon hat! And he's tryin to meech me!

[edit] Any item → Callbox

DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't need to tamper with this call box. I should just use it the way Rob intended. Rob being the inventor of the call box. Lord Robert Callboxon.

[edit] Penthouse

[edit] Room Door

{First time only}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Huh. It's locked. Doesn't even have a room number. {knocks} Open up! I'm being pursued by sinister agents!
{The door opens}
BUBS: Go away! I hate you! {slams the door}

BUBS: {opens door} Unless you're room service, I don't wanna hear it! {slams door}

{After ordering the Kid Meal and Messy Ol' Ribs}
BUBS: {opens door} Now I'm fulla room service! So unless you're a human naptake, lemee 'lone!

[edit] Diamond → Room Door

DANGERESQUE TOO: Hey, is this your Bowlegged Diamond? Do you want it back?
BUBS: Can I eat it?
DANGERESQUE TOO: Prolly not without significant dental trauma.
BUBS: Then I bid you a goodly bye!

[edit] Keycard → Room Door

DANGERESQUE TOO: Let's see if this keycard works.
{The door opens.}
BUBS: Hey! What the crap?!
DANGERESQUE TOO: {sounding official} Uh, I was just trying to get into my room. I'm in town for the symposium, I sympose...
BUBS: You got the wrong room, business man! This is room 802! They coded your keycard wrong!
DANGERESQUE TOO: Ah yes. I see. Nevertheless, might I come in to peek about for a pair of stylish socks?
BUBS: GET OUTTA HERE!! {slams door}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Room 802!

[edit] Any other item → Room Door

{Before ordering the Kid Meal and Messy Ol' Ribs}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Hey occupant, may I interest you in random inventory item?
BUBS: {opens door} Unless you're room service, I don't wanna hear it! {slams door}

{After ordering the Kid Meal and Messy Ol' Ribs}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Hey occupant, may I interest you in random inventory item?
BUBS: {opens door} Now I'm fulla room service! So unless you're a human naptake, lemee 'lone!

[edit] Kid Meal Trash

DANGERESQUE TOO: Aw man, I was hopin they'd leave the toy surprise. Just the upside-down clown bag. Which is what I like to call perps when I slam em up against the wall! Freeze Clown Bag! Dangeresque Too is breakin up your three ring circus ring/drug ring. Thing. {picks up bag}

[edit] Any item → Kid Meal Trash

DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't need to use nothin with this stuff.

DANGERESQUE TOO: I should just get what I can from what's left.

[edit] Rib Detritus

DANGERESQUE TOO: The ribs are all gone. But they did come with a bib! Mine-take! {picks up bib}

[edit] Any item → Rib Detritus

DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't need to use nothin with this stuff.

DANGERESQUE TOO: I should just get what I can from what's left.

[edit] Shaft (Penthouse)

[edit] Dagger Skew

DANGERESQUE TOO: It's Dagger Skew! Master cheatburgler and stabby specialist!
{A menu appears}
{Whatcha doin?}
{First time only}
DANGERESQUE TOO: What are you doin danglin around this elevator shaft?
DAGGER SKEW: Mmermer Mmhe! {takes out a shiny diamond}
DANGERESQUE TOO: You stole the Bowlegged Diamond from a guest in this hotel?!
DAGGER SKEW: Murmurer murmumble meh!
DANGERESQUE TOO: Well, at least you're not the one tryin to kill me! Best of luck to ya!

DANGERESQUE TOO: What are you doin again?
DAGGER SKEW: Mmermer Mmhe!
DANGERESQUE TOO: Wight, wight. Diamonds.

{Daggers}
DANGERESQUE TOO: What's up with that dagger headband? Does it give you an advantage on the 70's-ball court?
DAGGER SKEW: Hermerman bermerman.
DANGERESQUE TOO: Oh! They're perfectly spaced for slicin' up eyeballs? Whoa-ho-ho-HO. {steps back} I'll just be over here.
{This menu item disappears.}

{After asking what he's doing}
{Diamond?}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Say, can I have that Bowlegged Diamond?
DAGGER SKEW: harshymarsh shimsham!
DANGERESQUE TOO: You'll only swap it for something of equal or morer value?

DANGERESQUE TOO: Gimme that diamond!
DAGGER SKEW: Grumbletown!

[edit] Cuppa Ice → Dagger Skew

{Before talking to Dagger Skew}
DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't got no reason to give him my hard-fought cup of ice.

{After talking to Dagger Skew}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Hey Dagger Skew, I'll trade ya that diamond for this cup o' stolen ice! Facets, cuts, clarity! These babies got all the jewel words I know.
DAGGER SKEW: Mmmrrh MEH!
{Dangeresque Too gives Dagger Skew the shiny cup of ice. Dagger Skew gives him the shiny diamond.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Pleasure doin bidness witcha!
{Dagger Skew rappells out of sight. An orange card falls down past the elevator.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: What was that orange thing?

[edit] Any other item → Dagger Skew

{Before talking to Dagger Skew}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Do you want this item for reasons unknown?
DAGGER SKEW: Mrrah mrrah mraah!

{After talking to Dagger Skew}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Will you trade me that Bowlegged Diamond for this?
DAGGER SKEW: Mrrah mrrah mraah!

[edit] Using Two Inventory Items Together

DANGERESQUE TOO: Dangeresque Too never combines items. Except for grit and determination! I mash them into a paste and wear it as a hydrating sleep mask!

[edit] Game Over

{The words "Game Over" appear on black in Dangeresque Font, and are replaced by:}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Or did I?
{These are following phrases that will appear in the following order, changing every time you lose.}
That's not wight...

Oops, you bwoke it...

Oh hewwo sudden death...

That did not look good for Dangeresque Too...

Lies. All lies!
{The game then cuts back to the moment before you committed the action that led to the Game Over.}

[edit] Ending

DANGERESQUE TOO: Alright, I think I've got enough to conceal my identity.
{He puts on the bib, the bag, and the hat}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Hopefully those guards just let me walktz right out the front door. {steps toward elevator} Waltz-walkin', that is.
{Dangeresque Too steps out. The doors close.}
LEFT BAD GUY: AHH! All my childhood nightmares made real!
RIGHT BAD GUY: Pump it fulla lead!!
DANGERESQUE TOO: {unsubtitled} The pipes are broken!
LEFT BAD GUY: OWW!!
RIGHT BAD GUY: OOF!!
LEFT BAD GUY: CLOWN!!
RIGHT BAD GUY: I'm being assaulted by an unknown masked assailant!!
{Cut to Dangeresque Too leaving the hotel wearing his disguise. The text "Roomisode X Complete" appears.}
NARRATOR: Roomisode Complete!
{Dangeresque Too bursts out. His disguise falls off and blinks away. Pan up to the top of the hotel. The sign reads "Swissblonkel Hotel". The letters blink.}
{Fade to black. "Ended" appears.}
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