Dangeresque Roomisode X: Inspection Certificate on File in Building Office Responses

From Homestar Runner Wiki

These are all of the responses in Dangeresque Roomisode X: Inspection Certificate on File in Building Office.

Spoiler warning: Plot or ending details follow.

Contents 1 Intro 2 Elevator 2.1 Brolly 2.1.1 Brolly → Ceiling Tile 2.2 Buttons 2.3 Dangeresque Too 2.3.1 Bib → Dangeresque Too 2.3.2 Hat → Dangeresque Too 2.3.3 Keycard → Dangeresque Too 2.3.4 Kid Meal → Dangeresque Too 2.3.5 Rib Bib → Dangeresque Too 2.3.6 Any Disguise Piece → Dangeresque Too 2.4 Hatch 2.5 Open Tile 2.6 Poster 2.6.1 Menu Item 2.6.2 More on Back 2.6.3 Kid Meal 2.6.4 Messy Ol' Ribs 2.6.5 Diamond → Poster 3 Shaft 3.1 Emergency Brake 3.2 Handle 3.2.1 Brolly → Handle 3.3 Toolbox 3.4 Keycard 3.4.1 Brolly → Keycard 3.5 Guy's Head 3.6 Lady With Hat 3.6.1 Flower → Lady With Hat 3.7 Callbox 3.8 Dagger Skew 3.8.1 Cuppa Ice → Dagger Skew 4 Floor 7 1/2? 4.1 Certain Death 4.2 Hat 4.3 Loafers 4.3.1 Washer → Loafers 4.4 Sneakers 5 Vending 5.1 Coffee Machine 5.1.1 Anything → Coffee Machine 5.1.2 Quarter → Coffee Machine 5.2 Cup 5.3 Ice Machine 5.3.1 Cup → Ice Machine 5.4 Puddle 5.4.1 Bib → Puddle 5.5 Romance Debris 6 Penthouse 6.1 Room Door 6.1.1 Diamond → Room Door 6.1.2 Keycard → Room Door 6.2 Kid Meal Trash 6.3 Rib Detritus

Intro

{Dangeresque Too is standing on top of a building.}

NARRATOR: High above Brainblow City, Dangeresque Too finishes his nightly vigil...ance. Vigil-vigilance.

DANGERESQUE TOO: Looks like crime's gone to bed for the night. {his sunglasses sparkle with a "ding!"}

{Dangeresque Too walks into an elevator.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: I'll go in the elevator.

{Dangeresque Too is standing in the elevator. A monitor buzzes with static.}

BAD GUY: Going down, Dangeresque Too?

DANGERESQUE TOO: I'd recognize that bad guy voice anywhere! It's a bad guy!

BAD GUY: Allow me to put you on the EXPRESS lift! HaHaHaHaHa!!

{The elevator plummets.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: {rhythmically} I better find a way, to stop this runaway, eleva... tor.

Elevator

Brolly

DANGERESQUE TOO: Prolly somebody left their brolly. Prolly brolly. {takes it}

Brolly → Ceiling Tile

{Dangersesque Too pokes the ceiling tile, exposing a hole in the ceiling.}

Buttons

{First time only}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Only some of the buddins still work. and who knows what floor they'll take me to.

{There are eight buttons, but only four are functional.}

Dangeresque Too

{Dangeresque Too spins his propeller cap.}

Bib → Dangeresque Too

DANGERESQUE TOO: Maybe this'll help me NOT match those guards' description.

{puts it on}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Aw man! Whoever ate this was messy in exactly the shape of a star! It still looks like I'm wearing a dang ol' star shirt!

{puts it away}

Hat → Dangeresque Too

DANGERESQUE TOO: This covers up my propeller cap real nice. Grammaw nice. I'll wait until I have my full threesguise to put it on

{puts it away}.

Keycard → Dangeresque Too

DANGERESQUE TOO: There's no room number on it. Guess I'll just have to try it out somewheres.

Kid Meal → Dangeresque Too

DANGERESQUE TOO: {puts on bag} Aw man! My propeller poked through! But it still horrifyingly covers up my cool shades. I'll wait to wear until I have all the pieces of my threesguise.

{puts it away}

Rib Bib → Dangeresque Too

DANGERESQUE TOO: There we go! This messy bib may look and smell like coffee barf, but at least it hides my star shirt!

Any Disguise Piece → Dangeresque Too

{When all three items are acquired}

DANGERESQUE TOO: I think I have all that I need to conceal my identity! I should prolly head to the lobby. Prolly lobby.

---

{In the lobby}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Alright, I think I've got enough to conceal my identity.

{He puts on the bib, the bag, and the hat}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Hopefully those guards just let me walktz right out the front door.

{steps toward elevator}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Waltz-walkin', that is.

{Dangeresque Too steps out.}

LEFT BAD GUY: AHH! All my childhood nightmares made real!

RIGHT BAD GUY: Pump it fulla lead!!

DANGERESQUE TOO: The pipes are broken!

LEFT BAD GUY: OWW!!

RIGHT BAD GUY: OOF!!

LEFT BAD GUY: CLOWN!!

RIGHT BAD GUY: I'm being assaulted by an unknown masked assailant!

{Dangeresque Too leaves the hotel wearing his disguise}

NARRATOR: Roomisode Complete!

{Dangeresque Too bursts out. His disguise falls off. Pan up to the top of the hotel. The sign reads "Swissblonkel Hotel". The K blinks.}

{Fade to black. Ended.}

Hatch

{Dangeresque jumps back down into the elevator.}

---

{After stopping the elevator}

LEFT BAD GUY: Is that him?

RIGHT BAD GUY: He matches the description. Propeller cap, cool shades, star shirt.

LEFT BAD GUY: Do we shoot him?

RIGHT BAD GUY: I think so?

DANGERESQUE TOO: Uh oh!

{Dangeresque Too quickly ducks to close the elevator as bullets dent the door.}

{Title card appears}

NARRATOR: Roomisode X: Inspection Certificate On File In Building Office!

DANGERESQUE TOO: Guess I'm not getting out of here til I DON'T match their description. Star shirt, cool shades, propeller cap. I need a threesguise!

Open Tile

DANGERESQUE TOO: Boing!

{Dangeresque Too leaps up into the elevator shaft.}

Poster

DANGERESQUE TOO: It's the menu for room service.

Menu Item

{First time only}

DANGERESQUE TOO: The Romantic Dinner for Teux. Steak with green shreds. Bubbly Champlain and a rose for rose-mance.

---

DANGERESQUE TOO: I was really hopin that was egg nog in those glasses.

More on Back

DANGERESQUE TOO: It says there's more on the back! But that innocent menu is trapped inside this infernal glass frame!

---

{When the glass is cut}

DANGERESQUE TOO: You're free now, Room Service Menu! Free to be flipped over!

{The menu flips to reveal the backside.}

Kid Meal

DANGERESQUE TOO: The Upside-Down Clown Kid Meal. *Limit one per kidstomer. No sharing fries. Or ketchup. Or joy.

---

DANGERESQUE TOO: That clown face is Marshie levels of disturbing.

CLOWN FACE: You ain't kiddin, Hardcastle!

Messy Ol' Ribs

DANGERESQUE TOO: "Messy ol' ribs. Half rack. Full problems. Bib included."

---

DANGERESQUE TOO: Kinda looks like a pan flute. {singing} Poooot-poot-poot-poooooot. Pan flute.

Diamond → Poster

DANGERESQUE TOO: Let's see if this diamond will cut through that glass frame.

{Dangeresque Too uses the diamond to cut the glass. The glass cracks and shatters.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Bowlegged!

Shaft

Emergency Brake

{Dangeresque Too pulls the lever. Sparks fly out of it.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: That slowed it down a little, but didn't stop it! I gotta find a way to slow us down even more!

Handle

{If the hatch is open}

{Dangeresque Too closes the hatch.}

---

{If the hatch is closed}

Dangeresque Too opens the hatch.}

Brolly → Handle

{The umbrella opens, slowing the elevator to a stop. There is a toolbox in a cubby in the back wall.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: {taking brolly} Phew! That was close. Now I can get back down to the lobby and scramconnoiter out of here.

{On Lobby Floor}

Toolbox

DANGERESQUE TOO: Some old toolbox. Or maybe a lunchbox? {opens it} Definitely toolbox. There was just this metal washer inside. {takes the washer} Which I guess could be somebody's lunch... {dramatic close-up} IF YOU'RE A ROBOT!!

Keycard

DANGERESQUE TOO: That's where that thing that Dagger Skew dropped landed! That great orange thing!

Brolly → Keycard

{Dangeresque Too knocks down the keycard.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: It's a room keycard!

{On Floor 7 1/2}

{First time only}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Oh good. They can't see me up here either.

Guy's Head

Lady With Hat

DANGERESQUE TOO: Ooh, that hat would make a perfect threesguise component!

{Dangeresque Too tries to take it}

WOMAN: Ahh! Salmon and aspic! I think my hand just self-fidgeted!

MAN: Uh, I'm gonna leave that one alone.

DANGERESQUE TOO: Gotta find another way to get it.

---

{If the coffee is dripping from the floor above}

WOMAN: How long are we going to have to wait here? I wanna murder that nice young private eye.

MAN: I hope it's soon! This coffee drippin on my head sucks! Wish I hat a hat.

WOMAN: If my hat weren't so comfortable I'd let you borrow it.

MAN: Yeah, I get it. Too bad I can't be bothered to move a few inches to the left or right.

Flower → Lady With Hat

DANGERESQUE TOO: Let's add some real flora to this plastic mastery.

{Places the rose}

WOMAN: Augh! My hat's gotten itchy all of the sudden! Like I'm having an allergic reaction!

MAN: I'll take that hat off your hands. I could use it to block this coffee drip!

WOMAN: Oh, you're a life saver. Thank you dear!

{She takes off the hat and puts it on the man's head.}

MAN: Aah. That's so much better. Now the coffee's just watering the flowers! Everybody wins!

{On Vending Floor}

Callbox

{First time only}

DANGERESQUE TOO: An emergency callbox! They'll be able to help me!

ROOM SERVICE: Room Service. How may I help you?

DANGERESQUE TOO: There are armed guards trying to kill me and the elevator's all messed up! Send help!

ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, this line is just for room service. May I take your order?

DANGERESQUE TOO: Why is there a room service callbox in the elevator shaft?!

ROOM SERVICE: We get a lot of hungry spies and action heroes in this hotel, sir. There's also a callbox in the ventilation ducts. Should you have to crawl through those. Now may I take your order?

{A menu appears}

---

ROOM SERVICE: Room Service. May I take your order?

{Um...}

DANGERESQUE TOO: How bout an every order of food dog and a manilla cheesecoke?

ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, you have to order off the menu.

---

{Romance Dinner}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Uh yes, I'd like the Romantic Dinner with Steak and Green Item.

---

{If Poster was checked, Messy Ol' Ribs and Kid Meal becomes available.}

{Messy Ol' Ribs}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Lemme get the Messy ol' Ribs please.

---

{Kid Meal}

DANGERESQUE TOO: I want the Kid Meal! For a singular kid!

ROOM SERVICE: Our most popular item.

---

{If food is picked, continues below}

ROOM SERVICE: Very good, sir. What's the room number?

{If the Penthouse was not identified, a menu appears}

{Um}

---

{Vending}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Uh, just leave it by the vending machines how bout?

ROOM SERVICE: You want the Romance Dinner Package delivered to the vending machines?

DANGERESQUE TOO: Yeah! It's where my and my spousetype first met. She was getting ice when I burned two of my eyeballs with hot coffee. She put the ice on my eyes until the governor's chimpanzee—

ROOM SERVICE: Okay FINE! But just this once! Your order will be there any second.

---

{The Lobby?}

---

{Stuck Floor}

---

{If the Penthouse room was identified, continues below automatically.}

{First time only}

DANGERESQUE TOO: I'm staying in room 802, don't you know.

ROOM SERVICE: Ah! Our VIP! Right away sir! We pride ourselves on unrealistically fast service! Can I get you something else?

---

ROOM SERVICE: That will be at your door in moments. Can I get you something else?

{On Penthouse Floor}

Dagger Skew

DANGERESQUE TOO: It's Dagger Skew! Master cheatburgler and stabby specialist!

{A menu appears}

{Whatcha doin?}

DANGERESQUE TOO: What are you doing dangling around this elevator shaft?

DAGGER SKEW: {The Cheat noises}

{He takes out a shiny diamond}

DANGERESQUE TOO: You stole the Bowlegged Diamond from a guest in this hotel?!

DAGGER SKEW: {The Cheat noises}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Well, at least you're not the one trying to kill me! Best of luck to ya!

---

{Daggers}

DANGERESQUE TOO: What's up with that dagger headband? Does it give you an advantage on the 70's-ball court?

DAGGER SKEW: {The Cheat noises}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Oh! They're perfectly spaced for slicin' up eyeballs? Whoa-ho-ho-HO. {steps back} I'll just be over here.

{This menu item disappears.}

---

{After asking what he's doing}

{Diamond?}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Say, can I have that Bowlegged Diamond?

DAGGER SKEW: {The Cheat noises}

DANGERESQUE TOO: You'll only swap it for something of equal or morer value?

Cuppa Ice → Dagger Skew

DANGERESQUE TOO: Hey Dagger Skew, I'll trade ya that diamond for this cup o' stolen ice! Facets, cuts, clarity! These babies got all the jewel words I know.

DAGGER SKEW: {The Cheat noises}

{Dangeresque Too gives Dagger Skew the shiny cup of ice. Dagger Skew gives him the shiny diamond.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Pleasure doin bidness witcha!

{Dagger Skew rappells out of sight. An orange card falls down.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: What was that orange thing?

Floor 7 1/2?

{First time only}

WOMAN: Ugh! The elevator's stuck in between floors again.

MAN: How are we supposed to murder Dangeresque Too if the stupid elevators won't work?

DANGERESQUE TOO: More guards! Good thing they can't see me down here!

Certain Death

Hat

MAN: Hey! Where'd my hat go?

WOMAN: You already lost the hat I just gave you?! How gratingly ungrateful!

MAN: Shut up lady!

Loafers

{Close up on the woman's shoes}

DANGERESQUE TOO: This lady's wearing a sweet pair of quarterloafers! She must be rich!

{Cut to elevator}

DANGERESQUE TOO: I'm a snitch one of the quarters!

WOMAN: Oh! Something touched my foot!

DANGERESQUE TOO: Or maybe not.

Washer → Loafers

DANGERESQUE TOO: Lessee if I can swap out this washer for that quarter without her noticing.

{The swap is made.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: I did it!

WOMAN: Did you just touch my feet?

MAN: Um. Gross, no.

Sneakers

{Dangeresque Too unties the man's sneakers.}

WOMAN: Oh, your shoes have come untied.

MAN: Huh. That weird.

{He bends down to retie his shoes.}

---

WOMAN: Oh, your shoes are untied again.

MAN: Huh. That's still weird.

{He bends down to retie his shoes.}

Vending

Coffee Machine

{First time only}

DANGERESQUE TOO: It's an old coffee vending machine. Still only costs a quarter!

---

DANGERESQUE TOO: Lessee, Light Roast, Mild Roast, Hardly Roast, and See-Thru Roast. Aw man, this thing don't got no Hot Jones?

Anything → Coffee Machine

DANGERESQUE TOO: Um, I think it only takes quarters.

Quarter → Coffee Machine

{First time only}

{Dangeresque Too puts the quarter inside. A cup is dispensed. Coffee pours into the cup, melting it.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: At least it gave me my quarter back.

---

DANGERESQUE TOO: It just sits there for a sec and then VOIP!! No more coffee. At least it gave me my quarter back.

Cup

DANGERESQUE TOO: I got the styro before that coffee went pyro.

{The coffee pours out from the machine and leaks out onto the floor}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Ooh, Puddleman's Coffee.

Ice Machine

Cup → Ice Machine

{The cup is filled with ice.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: I filled my cup up with ice!

Puddle

DANGERESQUE TOO: Looks like it might be seepin through the floor tiles.

Bib → Puddle

DANGERESQUE TOO: Soppins!

{He wipes the coffee with the bib}

DANGERESQUE TOO: The bib is covered in coffee BBQ grodiness now. And the puddle kinda looks n' smells like barf. Hooray!

Romance Debris

DANGERESQUE TOO: Whoa! There's no food left. Maybe the Coffee and Ice Machines had a romantic dinner together. A ro-ro din-din! Anyways, I'm takin this flower. Might come in handy.

{Picks up rose}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Happy anniversary you two. May you one day make beautiful cold brews together.

Penthouse

Room Door

{First time only}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Huh. It's locked. Doesn't even have a room number.

{Knocks}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Open up! I'm being pursued by sinister agents!

{The door opens}

ANGRY MAN: Go away! I hate you! {slams the door}

---

ANGRY MAN: Unless you're room service, I don't wanna hear it! {slams door}

Diamond → Room Door

DANGERESQUE TOO: Hey, is this your Bowlegged Diamond? Do you want it back?

ANGRY MAN: Can I eat it?

DANGERESQUE TOO: Prolly not without significant dental trauma.

ANGRY MAN: Then I bid you a goodly bye!

Keycard → Room Door

DANGERESQUE TOO: Let's see if this keycard works.

{The door opens.}

ANGRY MAN: Hey! What the crap?!

DANGERESQUE TOO: {sounding official} Uh, I was just trying to get into my room. I'm in town for the symposium, I sympose...

ANGRY MAN: You got the wrong room, business man! This is room 802! They coded your keycard wrong!

DANGERESQUE TOO: Ah yes. I see. Nevertheless, might I come in to peek about for a pair of stylish socks?

ANGRY MAN: GET OUTTA HERE!! {slams door}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Room 802!

Kid Meal Trash

DANGERESQUE TOO: Aw man, I was hoping they'd leave the toy surprise. Just the upside-down clown bag. Which is what I like to call perps when I slam em up against the wall! Freeze Clown Bag! Dangeresque Too is breaking up your three ring circus ring/drug ring. Thing.

{Picks up bag}

Rib Detritus

DANGERESQUE TOO: The ribs are all gone. But they did come with a bib! Mine-take!

{Picks up bib}

Dangeresque
Movies	Major: Dangeresque 1: Dangeresque, too? Major: Dangeresque 2: This Time, It's Not Dangeresque 1 Major: Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective (Mini-Site, THREE in 3D) Minor: Dangeresque: Put 'Em on Ice!, Dangeresque 4÷2=6 Puppet Squad: The Curly Fried Caper, The Hot Jones Hijack
Characters	Strong Bad: Dangeresque Homestar Runner: Dangeresque Too,    Uzi Bazooka, Stingy Relenque Coach Z: Renaldo Marzipan:    Cutesy Buttons, Sultry Buttons Pom Pom: Professor Experimento The King of Town: Perducci Strong Mad (Himself): Killingyouguy	Bubs: Baron Darin Diamonocle The Poopsmith: Kidnapping Victim Senor Cardgage: Dadgeresque Strong Sad (El Dumpo):    Hot Tub, The Informants,    The Monster, The Stunt Double The Cheat: Istanbul, Szechuan Steve,    Craig, Waitre D, Dagger Skew Unknown: The Chief
Music	The Theme from Dangeresque II (karaoke), Today is Alright 4 2Nite, Hub-Bump 2 Tha Front, You're Gonna Have 2 Jump
Games	Dangeresque: The Roomisode Triungulate (Trailer, Launch Trailer, Soundtrack)    Roomisode 1: Behind the Dangerdesque (Walkthrough, Responses)    Roomisode 2: The Intersection of Doom & Boom (Walkthrough, Responses)    Roomisode 3: Keep My Enemies, Loser (Walkthrough, Responses)    Roomisode X: Inspection Certificate on File in Building Office (Walkthrough, Responses)
Other	Brainblow City (Smoky Office, Perducci's) Nunchuck Gun, Ruby Powered Rocket, Dangeresque: Crime Scene Tamperer