Crimes Committed by Strong Bad

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Jump to: navigation, search
Strong Bad's Wanted Poster

Over the course of the Homestar Runner body of work Strong Bad has committed several crimes and misdemeanors. He often operates alone in his criminal acts, but is also frequently aided by either The Cheat, Strong Mad, or both. Oftentimes, he also gets help from Bubs, albeit more subtly. He has been punished or caught while committing several crimes, and as a result has spent some time in jail. Strong Bad's criminal repertoire is long and diverse, ranging from petty misdemeanors, such as prank calls, to major crimes, including kidnapping, extortion and attempted murder.


[edit] Aiding and Abetting

  • Email 50 emails — Through a one-sided phone conversation, it is heavily implied that Strong Bad will receive $50 in exchange for leaving a key to his house underneath the mat in order for an unknown person to take (and presumably sell) Strong Sad's feet.
  • Email bike thief — Strong Bad sends a secret message to anyone wanting to steal the bike of the person who emailed him, offering up advice on how to commit the crime in exchange for splitting the profits "fitty-fitty".
  • Baddest of the Bands — Strong Bad helps Homestar cheat on his audition for Pom Pom's band.
  • Email buried — Strong Bad rents out Strong Badia to unsavory characters (especially if not exclusively Bubs), allowing them to bury various types of criminal evidence, including toxic waste and a dead body.

[edit] Animal Abuse

  • Strong Bad frequently kicks The Cheat.
  • Baddest of the Bands — Strong Bad puts Strong Sad's bats, the Von Blaubloods into the washing machine and bleaches them. He then attaches bleach to the arm of the Limozeen cardboard cutout, which dumps the bleach into the pond, therefore killing all of the fish.

[edit] Arson

  • Email dragon — Strong Bad burns Strong Sad's dragon drawing with the BMW lighter.
  • Email caper — Strong Bad admits to setting fire to Strong Sad's underwears.
  • Email lady fan — Strong Bad burns a good deal of Marzipan's arts and crafts supplies with the BMW lighter.
  • Email the chairAs a child, Strong Bad ignites a newspaper with a Duplo lighter and throws it at a house, causing the front door to emit smoke.
  • Strong Badia the Free — Strong Bad can use his lighter on all sorts of different objects to destroy them, such as Strong Sad's national documents and Pom Pom's kimono.
  • Baddest of the Bands — Strong Bad burns an oil spill from the Gremlin.

[edit] Assault and Battery

  • Marshmallow's Last Stand — Strong Bad unsuccessfully attacks Homestar with a bomb, ultimately ending up blowing a hole in his own head.
  • Egg Throwing Game — Strong Bad throws eggs at people dressed up as ghosts.
  • The Best Decemberween Ever — Strong Bad is said to have locked Strong Sad in the bathtub.
  • Email little animal — Strong Bad kicks both The Cheat and Strong Mad.
  • Email invisibility — Strong Bad punches Homestar in the gut.
  • Email your friends — Strong Bad inflicts pain on, or tortures all of the main characters (except The Poopsmith) in some contemptuous way, most of which simply involves hitting them with his foot or another object.
  • Email mascot — It is implied that Strong Bad tricked Homestar into getting beat in the knees with a golf club.
  • Email the process — Strong Bad throws a discount brick at Homestar.
  • Email no loafing — Strong Bad's "appointment" consists of jumping on Strong Sad in bed and saying "I hate you."
  • Email the bet — Strong Bad is hoisting the Typing Tutor Turbo over The King of Town's head, but he is not seen dropping it.
  • Email car — Strong Bad punches Homestar with his tricked-out fist.
  • Email origins — Strong Bad presumably gives Strong Sad a belly button by attacking him with a powered drill.
    • Email imaginary — The origin of Strong Sad's belly button is given more credence with the presence of a bandage throughout the email.
  • Email rampage — Strong Bad's "regal rampage" consists of hitting the King of Town with a scepter.
  • Email do over — Strong Bad repeatedly hits Homestar dressed as The Cheat with his keyboard, claiming that it is a "pat on the head".
  • Bug in Mouth Disease — Strong Bad hits Homestar with a skillet and throws the remote at him.
  • Email modeling — Strong Bad karate chops the King of Town.
  • Email — Strong Bad throws an anvil into the audience, presumably hitting at least one person. He also hits Homestar twice and kicks The Cheat.
  • Email lady fan — When setting fire to Marzipan's arts and crafts supplies, he burns her hair and possibly face and clothes as well.
  • Email cliffhangers — Strong Bad ties up the King of Town and Homsar, and dangles them over a cliff. He "resolves" them by cutting their ropes, causing them to fall.
  • Email concert — Strong Bad hits Strong Sad with a sloshy record.
  • Email slumber party — Strong Bad attacks Strong Sad with the intent of dislocating his shoulder, having presumably previously dislocated the other in a similar fashion.
  • Email environment — Strong Bad attempts to drop a "65 mile-per-gallon hybrid" piano on Marzipan and Strong Sad, but both of them get out of the way before the piano can hit either of them.
  • Blubb-O's Commercial — Strong Bad gets The Cheat to fire a harpoon at Strong Sad and Coach Z.
  • Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 16.2 — Strong Bad puts Roman candles in Marzipan's toilet which go off in proximity to Strong Sad.
  • Donut Unto Others — Posing as health inspector, Strong Bad knocks over Homestar's cardboard donut stand while putting an "F" on it, intentionally causing the donut grease to spill on and injure Homestar.
  • Email hremail 3184 — To put an end to Homestar's email program, Strong Bad hits him with a rake, a shovel, and a Garden Weasel.
  • Email dictionary — Strong Bad hurls a giant dictionary at Homestar, causing him to lose one of his teeth.
  • Crystal Fortress — Strong Bad throws a brick at the cellist.
  • Email sbemail 206 — Strong Bad tricks Homestar into running into a mirror, tricks Marzipan into swallowing The Cheat, and has a microwave thrown at Strong Sad.
  • Strong Bad Sings on Vinyl! — Strong Bad hits Strong Sad in the head with the titular vinyl record.

[edit] Attempted Murder

  • Marshmallow's Last Stand — Strong Bad attempts to blow up Homestar with a bomb.
  • Theme Song Video — Strong Bad throws a knife at Strong Sad tied to a spinning wheel.
  • Email homsar — Strong Bad attempts to kill Homsar with the Heavy Lourde.
  • Email couch patch — Strong Bad tries to make Homestar's head explode by typing the command into the Compy's command line, but results in The Cheat's head exploding instead.
  • Email pom pom — Strong Bad attempts to pop Pom Pom with a pin while he's on fire, blindfolded. Pom Pom beats the crap out of him instead.
  • Email origins — Strong Bad glues Homsar to Marzipan's head and leaves them for dead in the territory of a wolf pack.
  • Email the movies — In an attempt to kill Homestar and perhaps other audience members, Strong Bad fires a bazooka in the movie theater, seemingly reducing the theater to a smoldering crater.
  • Date Nite — Strong Bad and Homestar attempt to kill Marzipan and The Cheat using fireworks, but their plan backfires, causing their submarine to sink.
  • Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad casually admits that he was hoping the King of Town would die in his pit trap, calling it "attempted regicide".
  • A Death-Defying Decemberween — Strong Bad moves Homestar Runner's mattress, buried at the bottom of the Steep Deep, assuming that Homestar would die sledding down the mountain.
  • Where My Hat Is At? (toon) — Strong Bad tries to drown Strong Sad by encasing him in concrete and leaving him at the bottom of the pool.

[edit] Black Market

  • Email licensed — Strong Bad buys two cases of unlicensed Strong Bad brand ferret ointment.
  • Strong Badia the Free — In the wrong side of Concessionstantinople, Strong Bad does multiple businesses in the Black Market with Bubs on weapons, fake IDs, harvested organs, illegally excavated artifacts, unlicensed merchandise, and pirated DVDs.
    • Strong Bad attempts to trade in Strong Sad's stolen fake sword, but Bubs claims it as a worthless piece of junk.
    • Strong Bad attempts to trade in Pom Pom's stolen samurai sword, but Bubs says he would be in big trouble if Pom Pom caught him selling his weapons. Bubs suggests selling stuff less dangerous, such as stolen organs.
    • Strong Bad trades in Strong Sad's stolen pretendix for an illegally excavated broken piece of an old pot from the Homsar Reservation.

[edit] Breaking and Entering

[edit] Cheating

[edit] Counterfeiting

  • Email autobiography — It is suggested that Strong Bad attempted to and was successful at counterfeiting money by adding zeroes to bills' denominations.
  • Email couch patch — Strong Bad attemps to print out a million dollar bill, each time failing to do so.
  • Email shapeshifter — Strong Bad shapeshifts into a 100 dollar bill in an attempt to buy a hot tub.

[edit] Death Threats

  • Email for kids — Strong Bad threatens to kill all of the children watching his children's program as well as their dogs.

[edit] Extortion

[edit] Frameup

  • Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad frames Homestar for destroying Marzipan's decorations, and then later Pom Pom with Total Load to get him disqualified so that Homestar could win the Tri-annual Race to the End of the Race.
  • Baddest of the Bands — Strong Bad sets up several crimes, each making it appear as though Coach Z committed it to get Two-O Duo back together again (including toilet papering The Stick and stealing the alarm from Bubs' Concession Stand). He later makes it appear as if Limozeen has committed ecological crimes to upset Marzipan and bring down Cool Tapes' rating.

[edit] Gate-crashing

  • Email senior prom — Strong Bad attempts to crash a senior prom by using a device intended to de-pants everybody in the room, but it only de-pants him. He ends up becoming prom queen.
  • Homestar Ruiner — During a flashback, Marzipan explains that the reason she didn't invite Strong Bad to Homestar's victory party is because the last time he attended one of her parties, he jumped off the roof of her house and landed on the cake she baked, splattering it everywhere.

[edit] Gross Negligence

  • Email keep cool — Strong Bad's pool supervision is extremely negligent, including his use of improper chemicals and his policy of having characters he doesn't like swim during thunderstorms while holding large metal objects.

[edit] Hiring an Assailant

  • Poker Night at the Inventory — Strong Bad asks Heavy Weapons Guy to "take care" of the King of Town by shaving half his mustache. Heavy thinks Strong Bad wants him dead and Strong Bad makes little effort in clearing up the Heavy's misunderstanding.

[edit] Human Trafficking

  • Email the bet — Strong Bad says that he is going to "make an indentured servant out of Strong Sad".
  • Email garage sale — In an Easter egg, it is revealed that Homestar is among items being sold in Strong Bad's garage sale.

[edit] Identity Theft

  • Email credit card — Strong Bad scams Homestar into giving him his credit card information, which he uses to purchase a spaceship, two killer robots, a rocket launcher and a robotic dog/shark, spending a total of $3,013,500,000 USD.
  • DNA Evidence — Text on Strong Bad's computer implies that he is trying to get someone's credit card information, and by inputting it, it will "safen it all out".

[edit] Kidnapping

[edit] Littering

  • Email environment — Strong Bad claimed to water Marzipan's flowers with bleach and recycled cigarette butts.
  • Baddest of the Bands — Strong Bad places a bottle of bleach on the Limozeen cut-out's arm causing it to dump bleach in the nearby lake.

[edit] Mugging

[edit] Phone Harassment

  • Strong Bad has left numerous prank calls on Marzipan's Answering Machine, and in many of them, he attempts to con Marzipan into giving him something, ranging from food to free cable. It is unlikely that many of these attempts were actually successful.
  • Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad prank calls several characters in the game, including himself.

[edit] Prison Escape

[edit] Public Indecency

[edit] Research Ethics Violations

  • Email current status — Strong Bad does an experiment where he switches Coach Z's and Bubs's bodies to make Coach B and Zubs.
  • Email caffeine — Strong Bad's study of the effects of caffeine on Strong Sad violates several regulations governing medical research in most modern jurisdictions. Strong Bad's lack of credentialed qualification notwithstanding:
    • Strong Bad does not acquire proper informed consent.
    • The beneficence of Strong Bad's research is dubious at best.
    • Injustice in selection of subject and control, largely due to the premise of the cartoon.
  • DNA Evidence — Strong Bad extracts a sample of Strong Sad's DNA to use in genetic experiments on The Cheat, hoping he could prove once and for all that Strong Sad is actually either part elephant or part hippopotamus.

[edit] Rioting

[edit] Spamming

  • Email unused emails — Strong Bad sells 5,000 email addresses to Bubs for his "free weekly spamvertisements". In return, he gets a quarter for each one ($1,250 total.)

[edit] Theft

[edit] Unlawful Impersonation

[edit] Vandalism

"Vandalism" redirects here. For the HRWiki blocking policy on vandalism, see HRWiki:Blocking Policy#Vandalism.
  • Marshmallow's Last Stand — Strong Bad first tears off and then destroys Homestar's star.
  • Email sibbie — Strong Bad destroys Homestar's radio.
  • Email kids' book — Strong Bad is shown to have defaced a copy of "Everyone is Different" belonging to Strong Sad.
  • 3 Times Halloween Funjob — Strong Bad, along with Strong Mad and The Cheat, egg and toilet paper The Stick and The King of Town's castle (the latter is not shown).
  • Email lackey — It is shown that Strong Bad has vandalized Bubs' Concession Stand with graffiti, apparently quite some time before the events of the email.
  • Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — Strong Bad and The Cheat try to blow up the back door of Bubs' Concession Stand in order to steal chocolate bars.
  • Email lunch special — Strong Bad attempts to flood out Bubs' Concession Stand.
  • That Time of Year — Strong Bad is shown to have defaced a book belonging to Cherry Greg.
  • Email origins — Strong Bad sprays graffiti on Marzipan.
  • Strong Bad is a Bad Guy — Strong Bad is seen spraypainting on a wall.
  • Happy Hallow-day — Strong Bad and his posse have planned to "scandalize and vandalize" on Halloween, but can't do so without the protective cover of Halloween Night.
  • Email what i want — Strong Bad is suggested to have put wildebeest pheromones in Strong Sad's laundry on at least two occasions.
  • DNA Evidence — Strong Bad breaks a hole in Bubs's green apple snow cone syrup bottle.
  • Email slumber party — The games "Find the Load Bearer" and "Bed Axe" both involve property destruction.
  • Email email thunder — Strong Bad destroys Homestar's computer with liberal amounts of Mountain Dew.
  • Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad decapitates, then burns, Marzipan's Homestar float.
  • Strong Badia the Free — Strong Bad tricks the Cheat into destroying the device keeping him under house arrest.
  • Baddest of the Bands — Strong Bad, described by Bubs, "scandalizes and vandalizes" The Stick with Coach Z toilet paper and coffee mug.
  • Email sbemail 206 — Strong Bad tapes over the two doors to Bubs's car, locking Bubs out of his car and Coach Z inside his "apratment".
  • Record Store Day — Strong Bad destroys Strong Sad's sloshy Vinyl Record.

[edit] See Also

Personal tools