the chair
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== Transcript == | == Transcript == | ||
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | == Transcript == |
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' A-just scrape some email off the top, and I'll help you out toniiiight! | ||
<blockquote class="lappy email">D to the ear Strong Bad,<br /> | <blockquote class="lappy email">D to the ear Strong Bad,<br /> | ||
| Line 30: | Line 31: | ||
''{pronounces "doesn't" as "doest-n-t" and "truely" as "treh-leh", and reads "Keith, PA" as "Keith and Pa"}'' | ''{pronounces "doesn't" as "doest-n-t" and "truely" as "treh-leh", and reads "Keith, PA" as "Keith and Pa"}'' | ||
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Ooh! It's a father-son email picnic! ''{typing}'' Y to the ou don't know ''what'' you're talkin' about, Pakeithpsy. Stooly here is a tush-cheek's dream. So cottony squish and pillowy fresh. Take a look-see! |
''{Camera zooms out to show Strong Bad leaping off of the stool}'' | ''{Camera zooms out to show Strong Bad leaping off of the stool}'' | ||
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, It's been upgraded to Stank... |
''{a face fades onto the seat of the stool and coughs}'' | ''{a face fades onto the seat of the stool and coughs}'' | ||
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Eeew... Maybe it ''is'' time for a re-imagining of my email-checkin' chair... |
| - | '''THE CHAIR''' | + | '''THE CHAIR:''' ''{coughs again}'' I just need a lozenge... |
''{cut to Strong Bad standing outside Bubs' Concession Stand, with the camera centered behind Bubs}'' | ''{cut to Strong Bad standing outside Bubs' Concession Stand, with the camera centered behind Bubs}'' | ||
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, Bubs! |
| - | '''BUBS''' | + | '''BUBS:''' Hey, customer! |
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' What do you got in the way of things I can sit on whilst I check emails? |
| - | '''BUBS''' | + | '''BUBS:''' Ooh! Lucky for you! I just got this 3-year old box of chicken beaks in just now! ''{places the box on the counter}'' Like ''right'' just now! |
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Ok, ok, ok... But you got anything less anthrax-y? |
| - | '''BUBS''' | + | '''BUBS:''' I got this old Winger album! ''{holds up the record case}'' |
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Well, yeah... that ''is'' less anthrax-y. But I was kinda hoping for a chair of some kind. |
| - | '''BUBS''' | + | '''BUBS:''' Step right into my showroom! ''{slides off screen and bursts out of the side of the concession stand}'' Alright! We'll start at the tip, and work our way to the tup! |
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' You make less sense every day, Bubsy. |
| - | '''BUBS''' | + | '''BUBS:''' Crabberdonk! <!-- or whatever he said... --> |
''{The side of the concession stand reattaches to the wall briefly, then falls back down with a red, white and blue bicycle seat on it}'' | ''{The side of the concession stand reattaches to the wall briefly, then falls back down with a red, white and blue bicycle seat on it}'' | ||
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, that's no chair! That's Red, White and Banana! My old bicycle seat! |
''{cut to a film-projected scene of Li'l Strong Bad riding the bicycle seat outside a porch}'' | ''{cut to a film-projected scene of Li'l Strong Bad riding the bicycle seat outside a porch}'' | ||
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' I used to ride that thing on my paper route all the time! |
''{Li'l Strong Bad lights a newspaper on fire with the [[BMW lighter]] and throws it at the house; cut back to Strong Bad and Bubs outside the concession stand}'' | ''{Li'l Strong Bad lights a newspaper on fire with the [[BMW lighter]] and throws it at the house; cut back to Strong Bad and Bubs outside the concession stand}'' | ||
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' No, I'd better pass on that. I had a few too many wipeouts on that thing as a kid. |
| - | '''BUBS''' | + | '''BUBS:''' Ugh! You nasty! |
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' What? |
''{The side of the concession stand again reattaches, and falls down with a Homestar chair on it}'' | ''{The side of the concession stand again reattaches, and falls down with a Homestar chair on it}'' | ||
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' What makes you think I want to check my email on a Homestar Runner-shaped chair?? |
| - | '''BUBS''' | + | '''BUBS:''' Aw, come on. Give it a try! |
''{Strong Bad jumps onto the chair}'' | ''{Strong Bad jumps onto the chair}'' | ||
| - | '''HOMESTAR''' | + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Ow. |
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{jumping out of the chair}'' Wah! |
| - | '''BUBS''' | + | '''BUBS:''' Whoops, seen enough of that one! |
''{The concession stand displays a deformed chair}'' | ''{The concession stand displays a deformed chair}'' | ||
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Aww, your snowman died! |
| - | '''BUBS''' | + | '''BUBS:''' You simpleton! This is a Danube-Largo original! The Styleron Ecochair! ''{camera zooms in on the chair as a Styleron Ecochair logo appears}'' |
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Look, I don't care how Swedish your chair is. I have no need for a giant albino doggie-doody. <!-- sic? I never thought I'd have to know how to spell this... --> |
| - | '''BUBS''' | + | '''BUBS:''' Always a hit at parties... |
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Come on, Bubs! Don't you have anything more... ''executive''? A chair that will intimidate my underlings and eliminate my overlings! |
| - | '''BUBS''' | + | '''BUBS:''' Ooh! lucky for you! I just got this-- ''{concession stand displays the same box of chicken beaks}'' |
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{interrupting}'' ''NOT'' a box of chicken beaks! |
| - | '''BUBS''' | + | '''BUBS:''' Oh. Then behold: |
''{the concession stand displays a large leather chair}'' | ''{the concession stand displays a large leather chair}'' | ||
| - | '''BUBS''' | + | '''BUBS:''' Le Restige! |
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Style ''and'' class! Oh, tell me that leather's Corinthian! Just ''tell'' me it's Corinthian! |
| - | '''BUBS''' | + | '''BUBS:''' Crabberdonk! |
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Now what kind of options are we looking at on this baby? |
| - | '''BUBS''' | + | '''BUBS:''' Ooh! You're gonna love this! |
''{Bubs opens a compartment in the arm rest to reveal a red button and presses it, making a buzzing sound; a pair of metallic arms appear from behind Strong Bad and slip a pair of gray sweat pants on him}'' | ''{Bubs opens a compartment in the arm rest to reveal a red button and presses it, making a buzzing sound; a pair of metallic arms appear from behind Strong Bad and slip a pair of gray sweat pants on him}'' | ||
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' No way! A sweat pants button! And so begins my medioric rise to the top of the corporate ladder... Now alls we gotta do is see how well it checks emails! |
''{cut back to the computer room, with Le Restige taking up nearly the entire screen}'' | ''{cut back to the computer room, with Le Restige taking up nearly the entire screen}'' | ||
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Check, check, checkin' email... |
''{opens an email}'' | ''{opens an email}'' | ||
| Line 139: | Line 140: | ||
</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Like I said, ''this'' is not a mask. It's m'face. But hey, I'll give it a shot! ''{tugs on his face until it comes off, and raises it above the chair; screaming}'' |
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{reattaching his face}'' Ugh! I am NEVER doing that again! And, here's a picture of my parents. |
''{camera zooms out to show the entire chair}'' | ''{camera zooms out to show the entire chair}'' | ||
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' And now time to unwind with a pair of executive sweat pants! ''{pushes the sweat pants button}'' |
''{the robotic arms go haywire and toss Strong Bad into the air; he falls down with a sweatshirt on his legs and sweat pants on his head}'' | ''{the robotic arms go haywire and toss Strong Bad into the air; he falls down with a sweatshirt on his legs and sweat pants on his head}'' | ||
| - | '''STRONG BAD''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{groaning}'' Ooooh... so... many... sweat pants... I can't feel my parts... |
''{[[The Paper]] comes down}'' | ''{[[The Paper]] comes down}'' | ||
Revision as of 22:48, 4 December 2006
| Strong Bad Email #162 |
|
Strong Bad decides to get a new chair. Bubs offers some suggestions.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Bubs, Lil' Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Strong Sad (Easter egg)
Places: Computer Room, Bubs' Concession Stand, Strong Bad's Basement Strong Sad's Room (Easter egg)
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: December 4, 2006
Running Time:
Page Title: Lappy 486
Contents |
Transcript
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing} A-just scrape some email off the top, and I'll help you out toniiiight!
D to the ear Strong Bad,
That chair you're sitting on doesnt look very comfortable.
When are you going to get a new, less hardwood, big,
office manager-style comfy computer chair?
Yours truely,
Keith, PA
{pronounces "doesn't" as "doest-n-t" and "truely" as "treh-leh", and reads "Keith, PA" as "Keith and Pa"}
STRONG BAD: Ooh! It's a father-son email picnic! {typing} Y to the ou don't know what you're talkin' about, Pakeithpsy. Stooly here is a tush-cheek's dream. So cottony squish and pillowy fresh. Take a look-see!
{Camera zooms out to show Strong Bad leaping off of the stool}
STRONG BAD: Whoa, It's been upgraded to Stank...
{a face fades onto the seat of the stool and coughs}
STRONG BAD: Eeew... Maybe it is time for a re-imagining of my email-checkin' chair...
THE CHAIR: {coughs again} I just need a lozenge...
{cut to Strong Bad standing outside Bubs' Concession Stand, with the camera centered behind Bubs}
STRONG BAD: Hey, Bubs!
BUBS: Hey, customer!
STRONG BAD: What do you got in the way of things I can sit on whilst I check emails?
BUBS: Ooh! Lucky for you! I just got this 3-year old box of chicken beaks in just now! {places the box on the counter} Like right just now!
STRONG BAD: Ok, ok, ok... But you got anything less anthrax-y?
BUBS: I got this old Winger album! {holds up the record case}
STRONG BAD: Well, yeah... that is less anthrax-y. But I was kinda hoping for a chair of some kind.
BUBS: Step right into my showroom! {slides off screen and bursts out of the side of the concession stand} Alright! We'll start at the tip, and work our way to the tup!
STRONG BAD: You make less sense every day, Bubsy.
BUBS: Crabberdonk!
{The side of the concession stand reattaches to the wall briefly, then falls back down with a red, white and blue bicycle seat on it}
STRONG BAD: Hey, that's no chair! That's Red, White and Banana! My old bicycle seat!
{cut to a film-projected scene of Li'l Strong Bad riding the bicycle seat outside a porch}
STRONG BAD: I used to ride that thing on my paper route all the time!
{Li'l Strong Bad lights a newspaper on fire with the BMW lighter and throws it at the house; cut back to Strong Bad and Bubs outside the concession stand}
STRONG BAD: No, I'd better pass on that. I had a few too many wipeouts on that thing as a kid.
BUBS: Ugh! You nasty!
STRONG BAD: What?
{The side of the concession stand again reattaches, and falls down with a Homestar chair on it}
STRONG BAD: What makes you think I want to check my email on a Homestar Runner-shaped chair??
BUBS: Aw, come on. Give it a try!
{Strong Bad jumps onto the chair}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ow.
STRONG BAD: {jumping out of the chair} Wah!
BUBS: Whoops, seen enough of that one!
{The concession stand displays a deformed chair}
STRONG BAD: Aww, your snowman died!
BUBS: You simpleton! This is a Danube-Largo original! The Styleron Ecochair! {camera zooms in on the chair as a Styleron Ecochair logo appears}
STRONG BAD: Look, I don't care how Swedish your chair is. I have no need for a giant albino doggie-doody.
BUBS: Always a hit at parties...
STRONG BAD: Come on, Bubs! Don't you have anything more... executive? A chair that will intimidate my underlings and eliminate my overlings!
BUBS: Ooh! lucky for you! I just got this-- {concession stand displays the same box of chicken beaks}
STRONG BAD: {interrupting} NOT a box of chicken beaks!
BUBS: Oh. Then behold:
{the concession stand displays a large leather chair}
BUBS: Le Restige!
STRONG BAD: Style and class! Oh, tell me that leather's Corinthian! Just tell me it's Corinthian!
BUBS: Crabberdonk!
STRONG BAD: Now what kind of options are we looking at on this baby?
BUBS: Ooh! You're gonna love this!
{Bubs opens a compartment in the arm rest to reveal a red button and presses it, making a buzzing sound; a pair of metallic arms appear from behind Strong Bad and slip a pair of gray sweat pants on him}
STRONG BAD: No way! A sweat pants button! And so begins my medioric rise to the top of the corporate ladder... Now alls we gotta do is see how well it checks emails!
{cut back to the computer room, with Le Restige taking up nearly the entire screen}
STRONG BAD: Check, check, checkin' email...
{opens an email}
Dear Strong Bad,
How come you never take your mask off?
STRONG BAD: {typing} Like I said, this is not a mask. It's m'face. But hey, I'll give it a shot! {tugs on his face until it comes off, and raises it above the chair; screaming}
STRONG BAD: {reattaching his face} Ugh! I am NEVER doing that again! And, here's a picture of my parents.
{camera zooms out to show the entire chair}
STRONG BAD: And now time to unwind with a pair of executive sweat pants! {pushes the sweat pants button}
{the robotic arms go haywire and toss Strong Bad into the air; he falls down with a sweatshirt on his legs and sweat pants on his head}
STRONG BAD: {groaning} Ooooh... so... many... sweat pants... I can't feel my parts...
{The Paper comes down}
Easter Eggs
- Click on the sign while Bubs shows off the ecochair to see a poster of the designer.
- At the end, click on the executive chair to see a scene of Strong Sad trying to sit on the ecochair.
- {Cut to Strong Sad's room. Strong Sad is sitting rather awkwardly atop the ecochair. The poster for it is on the wall behind him.}
- STRONG SAD: {Slides backwards down the chair} Whoa... whoa... whoa... whoa... {Falls backwards, appearing to break his back} Ooh! ... I can't feel my parts.
Fun Facts
Explanations
A lozenge is a small medicated candy intended to be dissolved slowly to soothe irritated throats.
Trivia
- The Floppy Disk Container reads "bio forge".
- The photo of Strong Bad's parents is in fact blank and reads "nice try dodongo!".
Inside References
- Strong Bad says (and supposedly demonstrates offscreen) that his "wrestling mask" is his real face. He mentioned this before in some kinda robot and many other places.
Real-World References
- When Strong Bad "takes off" his face and shows a picture of his parents behind the chair, this is a reference to how many TV shows never show the character's parents or other answers to questions unique to the show.
- A Dodongo is an enemy from the Legend of Zelda series.
Goofs
- There is no back button for this email.
External Links
- watch "the chair"
- watch "the chair" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "the chair"
- forum thread re: "the chair"
