winter pool

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 00:13, 24 January 2008

"Well, I thought that this much gelatin would sorta naturally attract oiled-up bikini wrestlers."

J.Hazard asks about the pool's winter use. Strong Bad experiments with his pool and some gelatinous food.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Strong Badman (Easter egg), Hit-Enter-Too-Soon Man (Easter Egg), Gel-arshie, Strong Sad, Homestar Runner, Coach Z, Bubs, Strong Mad, Pom Pom, The Poopsmith, The King of Town, Nebulon

Places: Computer Room, Swimming Pool, Bubs' Concession Stand, King of Town's Castle, Outer Space

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday January 21, 2008

Running Time: 4:00 official, 4:06 actual

Page Title: Lappy 486

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} Ooh, emails make me tremble, so I'll keep my body nimble.

subject: drained pool

Dear Strong Bad,
What do you do with the pool during the winter? Do you
drain it and use it for skateboarding or something?

-J.Hazard, IN

{Strong Bad reads the state as the word "in", and says it as though there was more words coming}

STRONG BAD: {typing} In what? In Spokane? In severe debt? In repose? Well, I guess I'll never know Hit-Enter-Too-Soon Man. {clears screen} Anyways, Hazbro, {sarcastic voice} yes, we usually drain it and yes I usually skateboard 30 different kinds of shred all over the pool and make awesome skate videos that accidentally get recorded over with cooking shows. {regular voice} But this year we're doing something way cooler {pause} and less pretend. Homestar Runner finally got paid for all those Fluffy Puff Marshmallows commercials he did. And GUESS HOW THEY PAID HIM? With a lifetime supply of Red Flavored Fluffy Puff Translucent Dessert Related Substance!

{A box of said substance appears. Cut through static to a Fluffy Puff commercial. Marshie is red and translucent, his brain is visible floating inside his head.}

MARSHIE: I'M AN ABOMINATION!

{The word "GEL-arshie" appears below him with a ding.}

MARSHIE: {closeup} And I'm coming to your house after school!

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Y'know, I really think those Marshie commercials ought to be rated NC-17.

{A ratings advice label appears in the top left corner, reading "NC-17, Needlessly Creepy times 17". Cut through static to the pool, which has been filled with red gelatin. A pile of empty Fluffy Puff boxes are in the background. Strong Bad, Strong Sad and Homestar are all present, along with a kitchen timer shaped like a chicken. Strong Sad is holding a clipboard and wearing glasses.}

STRONG BAD: How're we doing here, frog eggs?

STRONG SAD: I don't even get that one. According to my calculations, {looks at clipboard} we should achieve maximum jiggle {pats his belly} any second now.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, man, you three. I am so glad I chose this instead of that million dollars in cash. That wouldn't even have half filled up this pool!

{The alarm rings}

STRONG SAD: That's it! We're ready!

STRONG BAD: All right! {looks around expectedly} Well, where are they?

STRONG SAD: Where are who?

STRONG BAD: Well, I thought that this much gelatin would sorta naturally attract oiled-up bikini wrestlers.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I thought it would naturally attract oiled-up Bill Cosby.

{Cut to the concession stand. Coach Z is leaning on the counter, talking to Bubs.}

BUBS: You heard the latest news?

COACH Z: Wazzat?

BUBS: The young'uns filled up the swimmin' hole with red Jell-Os!

COACH Z: Y'know, I once had a student in my health class, name of Red Angelo! True story! His folks named him that! And he had a sister, named Grape Flavored Jell-O With Fruit Floatin' In It!

{Bubs starts to look annoyed at Coach Z, then descends into his basement.}

COACH Z: No bull! And if you flash your lights at a car with its headlights orf, you get shot by gangsters!

{Cut back to the pool. Strong Bad is standing in the middle of the pool, on a toilet seat. Strong Mad is standing by the edge of the pool.}

STRONG BAD: All right, Strong Mad, smack it around!

{Strong Mad hits the pool surface, and a small wave ripples across. When it passes by Strong Bad:}

STRONG BAD: Hang ten! Gnarly! Endless summer! Hey, do it again, but this time, smack it like a newborn's biscuit.

{Strong Mad hits the pool surface much harder, and a much higher wave comes at Strong Bad. The force of it knocks him off the "board", he lands headfirst and starts to sink.}

STRONG BAD: Uh, lifeguard? Bit of help here?

{Pan to Pom Pom, sitting in the lifeguard chair with sunscreen on his "nose".}

POM POM: {bubbles}

{Pom Pom jumps towards Strong Bad, lands on the gelatin, and bounces off into the sky, disappearing into the distance. Strong Bad continues to sink to the bottom of the pool, where he meets Homestar. A meter in the background shows them to be 10 feet below the surface.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aww, I was hoping you were Bill Cosby.

STRONG BAD: So, uh, what're we doing for breathing down here?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I don't know. I hadn't really thought that far ahead.

STRONG BAD: And how did you get down here, Poopsmith?

{Pan across to see the Poopsmith is down here too. He flicks open the top of his shovel to reveal a button, which he presses. Cut to the King of Town's castle, where the King is eating something out of a bowl through a crazy straw, and watching Caleb Rentpayer on TV.}

TUCKSWORTH: {on TV} You can't grow a ZZ Top beard!

{An alarm klaxon goes off, with red flashing lights. The King of Town looks up to see the "Eat a Lot of Food Alert".}

THE KING OF TOWN: My talents are needed!

{The King grabs the straw and runs off. Cut back to the bottom of the pool.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Bad, I think this is it. When I die, have my body preserved in red Jell-O.

STRONG BAD: Uh, I don't think that's gonna be a problem, Homestar.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You're such a good friend.

THE KING OF TOWN: Citizens! Help has arrived!

{Tilt up to see the King of Town, holding his crazy straw above the surface of the pool.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Everybody in there, shut your eyes. This-a ain't-a gonna be-a prettay. {quickly} And a one, and a two, and a three.

{The King sticks the straw into the pool and starts sucking. The screen fades to black, and then comes back in the computer room. Strong Bad limps in, covered in patches of red gelatin, with a disgusted look on his face. He sits down at the computer.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} All I remember after I closed my eyes, was that first, it got real loud, then it got real hot, then it got real slimy, then it got quiet, and then it got...unspeakable. And when I opened my eyes, the pool was empty, and three days had passed. And Pom Pom still hasn't landed!

{Cut to outer space, a space station is in the distance, labeled "40-E". Pom Pom floats in to the center of the screen. Nebulon floats past, making his usual noise. New Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

It's Hit-Enter-Too-Soon-Man IN!

• When Strong Bad types in the word "Hazbro", you can click on it to see the latest issue of Strong Badman.
• At the end click on Pom Pom to see the continued chat of Coach Z and Bubs:

BUBS: Well, email 187 is in the can.

COACH Z: 1-8-7...? Oooohhh! Get down! {covers head}

BUBS: What do you think you're doing?

COACH Z: There's a 187! Break yourself, Bubs!

BUBS: I ought to break your face!

COACH Z: I knew I shouldn't have flashed my brights at that hooptie full of gangsters!

Fun Facts

Explanations

• "IN" is the US postal abbreviation of Indiana.
• 187 is the California Penal Code section that defines murder. It has come into general use among gangs in the United States as a synonym for murder, and this usage has passed into popular culture via gangsta rap.
• Spokane is a city in Washington state.
• "NC-17" is actually an MPAA rating which stands for "No Children 17 and Under Admitted".
• "Hooptie" is an urban slang term for an older, usually beat up, car.
• Bill Cosby was the longtime spokesman for the Jell-O brand.
• "Smack it like a newborn's biscuit" refers to the practice of spanking a newborn so that it will cry and use its lungs.

Trivia

• The Floppy Disk Container reads "4-D boxing".

Remarks

• This is the first time Strong Bad's mouth has appeared in any irregular shape.
• The Swimming Pool's tiles around the edges are blue-and-white-checked in this email instead of their regular red-and-white checks.
• The "Environmentally Compliant Sticker" sticker from environment is not present on the Lappy 486.

Goofs

• In The King of Town's first scene, his crazy drinking straw pokes out of the pink goop he's drinking and over the edge of the bowl.

Fixed Goofs

• When Strong Sad said "any second now." his mouth wouldn't move. This was fixed later the next day.

Inside References

• One of Homestar's Fluffy Puff commercials can be found in the similarly-named toon on the site.
• The Fluffy Puff translucent substance being "Red Flavored" is a color flavored food.
• Gel-arshie's brain is visible.
• Bubs descends into his basement, as he previously did in geddup noise.
• The King of Town is watching Caleb Rentpayer. He was previously shown to watch the show in secret recipes.
• "Break yourself" was also used as a pun on "brace yourself" in Shopping for Danger.

Real-World References

• "Hazbro" is a reference to Hasbro, a famous toy company.
• Endless Summer is a series of documentaries covering surfing culture. "Hang ten" and "gnarly" are also associated with that culture.
• ZZ Top is an American blues rock band; two of its members are well-known for their trademark chest-length beards.
• Coach Z's claim that flashing your headlights at a car with its headlights off will get you shot by gangsters is an urban legend, as is the story of the children named Orangejello and Lemonjello.
• The phrase "Abort, Retry, or Ignore" in the Strong Badman Easter egg is an error message from early versions of MS-DOS.

External Links

• watch "winter pool"
• watch "winter pool" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "winter pool"
• forum thread re: "winter pool"