winter pool

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Revision as of 10:05, 24 June 2023

"Well, I thought that this much gelatin would sorta naturally attract oiled-up bikini wrestlers."

J.Hazard asks about the pool's winter use. Strong Bad experiments with his pool and some gelatinous Fluffy Puff Translucent Dessert Related Substance.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Strong Badman (Easter egg), Hit-Enter-Too-Soon Man (Easter egg), Gel-arshie, Strong Sad, Homestar Runner, Coach Z, Bubs, Strong Mad, Pom Pom, The Poopsmith, The King of Town, Nebulon

Places: Computer Room, Swimming Pool, Bubs' Concession Stand, King of Town's Castle, Outer Space

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday, January 21, 2008

Running Time: 4:06

Page Title: Lappy 486

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Six

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} Ooh, emails make me tremble, so I'll keep my body nimble.

subject: drained pool

Dear Strong Bad,
What do you do with the pool during the winter? Do you
drain it and use it for skateboarding or something?

-J.Hazard, IN

{Strong Bad reads the state as the word "in", and says it as though there were more words coming}

STRONG BAD: {typing} In what? In Spokane? In severe debt? In repose? Well, I guess I'll never know Hit-Enter-Too-Soon Man. {clears screen} Anyways, Hazbro, {sarcastic voice} yes, we usually drain it and yes I usually skateboard 30 different kinds of shred all over the pool and make awesome skate videos that accidentally get recorded over with cooking shows. {regular voice} But this year we're doing something way cooler and less pretend. Homestar Runner finally got paid for all those Fluffy Puff Marshmallows commercials he did. And GUESS HOW THEY PAID HIM? With a lifetime supply of Red Flavored Fluffy Puff Translucent Dessert Related Substance!

{A box of said substance appears. Cut through static to a Fluffy Puff commercial. Instead of Marshie, there is a red, translucent version of him with a visible brain floating inside his head.}

GEL-ARSHIE: {voice slightly distorted} I'M AN ABOMINATION!

{The word "GEL-arshie" appears below him with a ding.}

GEL-ARSHIE: {closeup} And I'm comin' to your house after school.

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Y'know, I really think those Marshie commercials ought to be rated NC-17.

{A ratings advice label appears in the top left corner, reading "NC-17, Needlessly Creepy times 17". Cut through static to the pool, which has been filled with red gelatin. A pile of empty Fluffy Puff boxes are in the background. Strong Bad, Strong Sad and Homestar are all present, along with a kitchen timer shaped like a chicken. Strong Sad is holding a clipboard and wearing glasses.}

STRONG BAD: How're we doing here, frog eggs?

STRONG SAD: I don't even get that one. {zoom in on Strong Sad} According to my calculations, {looks at clipboard} we should achieve maximum jiggle {pats his belly} any second now.

{zoom out to all three characters}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, man, you three. {Close-up of Homestar} I am so glad I chose this instead of that million dollars in cash. That wouldn't even have half filled up this pool!

{Close-up of the timer, the alarm rings. Cut back to all three characters}

STRONG SAD: That's it! We're ready!

{zoom in on Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: All right! {looks around expectantly} Well, where are they?

{zoom out to all three characters}

STRONG SAD: Where are who?

STRONG BAD: Well, I thought that this much gelatin would sorta naturally attract oiled-up bikini wrestlers.

{zoom in on Homestar}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I thought it would naturally attract oiled-up Bill Cosby.

{Cut to the concession stand. Coach Z is leaning on the counter, talking to Bubs.}

BUBS: You heard the latest news?

COACH Z: Wazzat?

BUBS: The young'uns filled up the swimmin' hole with red Jell-Os!

COACH Z: Y'know, I once had a student in my health class, name of Red Angelo! {Bubs nods} True story! His folks named him that! And he had a sister, named Grape-Flavored Jell-O With Fruit Floatin' In It! No bull!

{Bubs starts to look angrily at Coach Z, then descends into his basement, as if on an elevator. The interior of the concession stand darkens, lit with an overhead light.}

COACH Z: And if you flash your lights at a car with its headlights orf, you get shot by gangsters!

{Cut back to the pool. Strong Bad is standing in the middle of the pool, on a toilet seat. Strong Mad is standing by the edge of the pool.}

STRONG BAD: All right, Strong Mad, smack it around!

{Strong Mad hits the pool surface, and a small wave ripples across. When it passes by Strong Bad:}

STRONG BAD: Hang ten! Gnarly! Endless summer! Hey, do it again, but this time, smack it like a newborn's biscuit.

{Strong Mad hits the pool surface much harder, and a much higher wave comes at Strong Bad. The force of it knocks him off the "board"}

STRONG BAD: Whoa! {He lands headfirst and starts to sink. The toilet seat lands in the gelatin and starts to sink as well.} Uh, lifeguard? Bit of help here?

{Pan to Pom Pom, sitting in the lifeguard chair with sunscreen on his "nose".}

POM POM: {bubbles}

{Pom Pom jumps towards Strong Bad, lands on the gelatin, and bounces off into the sky, disappearing into the distance. Strong Bad continues to sink to the bottom of the pool, where he meets Homestar. A meter in the background shows them to be 10 feet below the surface.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voice slightly distorted} Aww, I was hoping you were Bill Cosby.

STRONG BAD: {voice slightly distorted} So, uh, what're we doing for breathing down here?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I bo' know. I hadn't really thought that far ahead. {As he talks, the toilet seat is seen sinking down}

STRONG BAD: And how did you get down here, Poopsmith?

{Pan across reveals that the Poopsmith is also at the bottom of the pool. He flicks open the top of his shovel to reveal a button, which he presses. Cut to the King of Town's castle, where the King is sucking something out of a bowl through a crazy straw, and watching Caleb Rentpayer on TV.}

TUXWORTH: {on TV} You can't grow a ZZ Top beard!

{An alarm klaxon goes off, with red flashing lights. The King of Town turns his head right as the straw drops to the table and looks up to see the "Eat a Lot of Food Alert".}

THE KING OF TOWN: My talents are needed!

{The King of Town grabs the straw and zooms off. Cut back to the bottom of the pool.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Bad, I think this is it. {close up of Homestar} When I die, have my body preserved in red Jell-O.

{Cut back to Homestar and Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Uh, I don't think that's gonna be a problem, Homestar.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You're such a good friend.

THE KING OF TOWN: {voice slightly distorted} Citizens!

{Tilt up to see the King of Town, holding his crazy straw above the surface of the pool.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Help has arrived! Everybody in there, shut your eyes. {bends over for a close up} This-a ain't-a gonna be-a prettay. {leans back up, speaking quickly} And a one, and a two, and a three.

{The King sticks the straw into the pool and starts sucking. The screen fades to black, and then comes back in the computer room. Strong Bad limps in, covered in patches of red gelatin, with a disgusted look on his face. He sits down at the computer.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} All I remember after I closed my eyes, was that first, it got real loud, then it got real hot, then it got real slimy, then it got quiet, and then it got...unspeakable. And when I opened my eyes, the pool was empty, and three days had passed. And Pom Pom still hasn't landed!

{Cut to outer space, a space station is in the distance, labeled "40-E". Pom Pom floats in to the center of the screen. Nebulon floats past, making his usual noise. New Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

It's Hit-Enter-Too-Soon-Man IN!

• When Strong Bad types in the word "Hazbro", click on it to see the latest issue of Strong Badman.
• At the end click on Pom Pom to see the continued chat of Coach Z and Bubs:

BUBS: Well, email 187 is in the can.

COACH Z: 1-8-7...? Oooohhh! Get down! {covers head}

BUBS: What do you think you're doing?

COACH Z: There's a 1-8-7! Break yourself, Bubs!

BUBS: I ought to break your face!

COACH Z: I knew I shouldn't have flashed my brights at that hooptie full of gangsters!

Fun Facts

Explanations

• "IN" is the US postal abbreviation of Indiana.
• 187 is the California Penal Code section that defines murder. It has come into general use among gangs in the United States as a synonym for murder, and this usage has passed into popular culture via gangsta rap.
• Spokane is a city in Washington state.
• "NC-17" is an MPAA rating which stands for "No Children 17 and Under Admitted".
• "Hooptie" is an urban slang term for an older, usually beaten up car.
• Bill Cosby was the longtime spokesman for the Jell-O brand.
• "Smack it like a newborn's biscuit" refers to the practice of spanking a newborn so that it will cry and use its lungs.

Trivia

• The Floppy Disk Container reads "4-D boxing".
• The summary on the Podstar Runner RSS feed reads, "Strong Bad shows the fun and dangers of filling a pool with Red Flavored Fluffy Puff Translucent Dessert Related Substance."

Remarks

• This is the first time Strong Bad's mouth has appeared in any irregular shape.
• The Swimming Pool's tiles around the edges are blue-and-white-checked in this email instead of their regular red-and-white checks.
• The "Environmentally Compliant Sticker" sticker from environment is not present on the Lappy 486.
• The toilet seat did not leave an empty trail behind it while sinking like Strong Bad did. Homestar didn't have one either, although the gelatin might have already filled up the trail had said trail existed.
• One of the patches of gelatin on Strong Bad's pants is shaped like Florida.

Goofs

My reality-bending talents are needed!

• In The King of Town's first scene, his crazy drinking straw pokes out of the pink goop he's drinking and over the edge of the bowl due to a masking error in Flash.
• After Pom Pom rebounds off of the gelatin, the sunscreen on his "nose" disappears.
• While Strong Bad types that Homestar got paid for the Fluffy Puff Marshmallows commercials he has made, he pronounces "Marshmallows" without the final "s."

Fixed Goofs

• When Strong Sad said "any second now." his mouth didn't move. This was fixed the next day.

Inside References

• Two of Homestar's appearances in Fluffy Puff commercials include the similarly-named toon on the site and a cameo appearance in Malloween Commercial.
• The Fluffy Puff translucent substance being "Red Flavored" is a color flavored food.
• Gel-arshie's brain is visible.
• Bubs descends into his basement, as he previously did in geddup noise.
• The King of Town is watching Caleb Rentpayer. He was previously shown to watch the show in secret recipes.
• "Break yourself" was also used as a pun on "brace yourself" in Shopping For Danger.
• The spaceship floating near Pom Pom in space is from the "un-aired pilot" in the email theme song, but with "40-E" written on it.
• Strong Mad flies into space in Marshmallow's Last Stand, very similar to Pom Pom flying into space in this email.
• Strong Bad previously denied The Poopsmith entrance to the pool in keep cool, hence his surprise when he sees The Poopsmith at the bottom of the pool.
• Strong Sad's egg timer was first featured in anything, but was only heard and never appeared on screen.
• Strong Bad's voice distortion caused by being submerged in the Jell-O was previously featured in your funeral.
• The alarm klaxon sound is the exact same one as the Blue Las-alert sound in the Cheat Commandos series.
• This email shows another reference to skateboarding.
• Biscuits are mentioned.

Real-World References

• "Hazbro" is a reference to Hasbro, a famous toy company.
• Endless Summer is a series of documentaries covering surfing culture. "Hang ten" and "gnarly" are also associated with that culture.
• ZZ Top is an American blues rock band. Two of its members are well-known for their trademark chest-length beards; the third member is well-known for his last name, which coincidentally, is Beard.
• Coach Z's claim that flashing headlights at a car with its headlights off will result in getting shot by gangsters is an urban legend, as is the story of the children named Lemonjello and Orangejello mild language.
• The phrase "Abort, Retry, or Ignore" in the Strong Badman Easter egg is a common error message from MS-DOS and Windows operating systems.

Fast Forward

• Strong Bad fills the pool with red gelatin again in Homestar Ruiner.

DVD Version

• The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch the DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Strong Bad)

mild language

STRONG BAD: Oh, great, Mike's here. ...for this commentary.

MIKE: Why don't you host, and I'll be like I'm visiting you in the booth.

STRONG BAD: {simultaneously} Yeah. Yeah, so I'm always here, and Mike is, uh, you, he conned me in here. He wore a hot lady outfit and was like {high-pitched voice} "Ooh, can I do the commentary?"

MIKE: {similar high-pitched voice} Yeah!

STRONG BAD: {normally} so I said "Oh, hello baby", and he came in, and he took the— the, uh, bask— mini-basketballs out of his shirt {Mike laughs} and revealed that he was Mike.

MIKE: {high-pitched} But I'm gonna still talk in my hot lady voice this whole commentary.

STRONG BAD: {simultaneously} Please. N— no—

MIKE: I'm a southern belle!

STRONG BAD: All right, I'm gonna start it over.

MIKE: I declare!

STRONG BAD: {laughing} All right.

MIKE: {normally} All right, I'm done. I declare. You gotta say "I declare" if you're a southern belle.

STRONG BAD: Yeah. Oh, or if you're a southern gentleman. {Mike laughs} You're gonna be drinking a mint julep and a white hat and you have to declare some things.

MIKE: All right, let's talk about this email, though.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, that's some good globs, squares of gelatin. {Gel-arshie appears onscreen} Oh! Oh! No, let's not talk about this ever again!

MIKE: It's Gel-arshie!

STRONG BAD: Why! I never thought he could get worse.

MIKE: He's got a single organ.

STRONG BAD: {starts out loud, and grows quiet} Yeah, and it's his brain.

MIKE: It's a brain.

STRONG BAD: Oh... {makes a gargling sound} He makes me— every time I see that guy, I go {makes the same gargling sound}. He makes me gargle.

MIKE: Yeah?

STRONG BAD: And I'm not gagging, he makes me gargle.

MIKE: {laughs} With... saliva?

STRONG BAD: Yeah. This is a depressing time, when like, there's only— this is like the time of the winter when there's just the gross piles of snow in the, like, Wal-Mart parking lot.

MIKE: Yeah, after the fun snow is gone.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, there's no snow covering the ground anymore, it's just, like, in gutters, and it's black...

MIKE: {simultaneously} Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

STRONG BAD: ...and it smells like a stink.

MIKE: {laughs}

STRONG BAD: Like a oil stink. Whaddaya—

MIKE: It seems like you could make some good snowballs with that, with those, though.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, but you, it's like hardened. You gotta just chip it out. {pause} Look at those stu— stub— stubble-arm Bubs.

MIKE: {laughing} Yeah, his arms are a little smaller than usual there.

STRONG BAD: They're fat. They're fat and stubby. Bubs, are you feeling okay? {pause} Oh. Oh, the fake name stories. I love, my favorite is when, like, a real adult, like a, like, y'know, a forty-something year old woman will tell you that, no, no, no, her sister really had a kid in her class named "Shithead" {pronounces this as shih-TED}. Or, y'know they pronounced it "shih-theed", excuse me. It's like, come on!

MIKE: {laughs} I dunno what you're talking about. {pause} I actually need to buy a toilet seat, Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: Why don't you go into the pool— Oh!

MIKE: I've needed one for, like, two weeks.

STRONG BAD: Look, we all sound like Marsh— Gel-arshie, now.

MIKE: And, like, your, um, zombie, at your, the "your funeral" cartoon. Didn't the zombie version of you talk like this?

STRONG BAD: {simultaneously} Oh, it does sound like zombie Strong Bad. {pause} Aww, Caleb! Man! I remember that one, he grew a ZZ Top beard, and Tuxworth told him not to, but then, guess what he did? Grew the {almost unintelligibly} ZZ Top beard!

MIKE: {simultaneously} So is— I— He did it anyway? How long did it take him? It seems like—

STRONG BAD: That was the coolest part. He took a tonic, a tincture, and a potent, all at the same time, and it was like vroooooo! They did really good special effects with a pink border.

MIKE: {when the King of Town appears with a straw} So, Strong Bad, what happens right here? Tell me what happens here. Explain— What do you remember?

STRONG BAD: {simultaneously} No— no...!

MIKE: Just t— tell me what you remember.

STRONG BAD: You remember that noise that I— No! Ack-ack-ack-ack-ack!

MIKE: {simultaneously} Explain to me what— What—

STRONG BAD: {whimpers} I don't— Oh...

MIKE: {simultaneously} What h— It looks maybe like you peed your pants, by the way you're walking?

STRONG BAD: {whimpers} Nooo... I can't think about it, Mike. I'm talking... like the way I was just walking. I'm talking with my legs spread apart, and kinda limpin'. Oh... There was, like, a brown, and then, but then, one was, like, hard brown.

MIKE: No soft brown?

STRONG BAD: No.

MIKE: All right. {pause until Nebulon floats onscreen} Ah, look! So, what do you think of Nebulon's style these days?

STRONG BAD: {simultaneously, imitating Nebulon's sound} Byoo, byoo, byoo, byoo! I think maybe one person likes his style.

Fun Facts

• Several stereotypes of the American South are brought up:
  • A Southern belle is an upper-class proper young woman.
  • A mint julep is a bourbon cocktail.
  • Mike and Strong Bad reference several southern gentleman stereotypes.
• Wal-Mart is a chain of large, discount department stores.
• Strong Bad implies a swear during the commentary.
• Mike and Strong Bad both make reference to the email your funeral, in which Strong Bad is claimed to be reanimated as a zombie in 2046.
• Tonics and tinctures are both types of liquids used for medicinal purposes; "potent" is an adjective, a "potion" would be closer to the other two.

External Links

• watch "winter pool"
• watch "winter pool" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "winter pool"
• forum thread re: "winter pool"