army
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Summary
Strong Bad Email #93
Hank Toler asks about Strongbadia's army.
Features: Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, The Cheat, Strong Sad, Homsar, Strong Mad, Frank Bennedetto, Mrs. Bennedetto
Transcript
STRONG BAD: Woah. Guess it's been a while. Sorry about that, compy. Need to get some... Endust.
{Strong Bad reads}
Dear Strong Bad, I was curious as to whether or not Strong Badia had an official army. Your Homeboy, Hank Toler
STRONG BAD: {typing} Does Strongbadia have an army? Strongbadia needs no army, Hankatola. Me and that one big guy and that one little guy... we're a one man army. Er, a three man one-y. Three-to-one-marny? What I mean to say is, what do we need an army for when the three of us pretty much do as we please? I mean, it's not like there's anyone around to oppose us.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Alright, maggot! Fall it out. Colonel {he pronounces it as written} Homestar Runner is recruting the most elite team of crack commandos to invade Strongbadia. Do you has [sic] what it takes to join the Homestarmy? Will you bring a sack lunch and some orange slices for me and serve your country? Will you, stupid?!
STRONG BAD: Um... no. I don't really have any interest in invading my own--
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ten-hut! Draft dodger, ay? We'll see if those trees you're always hugging save you when Gordon Lightfoot's creeping round your back stair. Company... Halt! Backwards... March!
{Homestar marches backwards off screen}
STRONG BAD: What in the-
{Homestar sticks his head back in}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, and if you change your mind, and you wanna trade in that skirt you're wearing for a nice pair of camos, we're having a pep rally up at the stick in 0-15 minutes.
STRONG BAD: Wow. I thought I knew what ridiculous was, until this day. This definitely merits some further reconnaissance. The Cheat!
THE CHEAT: Emeh! {sounds like "I'm here"}
STRONG BAD: The Cheat, I need you to find out--
THE CHEAT: {sounding a little upset} Omee mah meh. {sounds like "I'm not listening.."}
STRONG BAD: Ohhh. Don't make me call you that. It's not a good commando name.
THE CHEAT: {forcefully} Memamo meh! {sounds like "Commando name!"}
STRONG BAD: Ugh, all riiight. {reluctantly} Firebert. I need you to find out what the crap Homestar Runner is up to at the stick in 0-15 minutes.
THE CHEAT: Meh, meer! {sounds like "Yes, Sir!"}
{scene chages to The Stick}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Are you sick and tired of playing second-fiddle to a two bit wrestle man and his yellow dog?
CROWD: YEAH!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Are you ready to fight alongside your Colonel {pronounced as written} and give your five bucks to the Homestarmy if it comes to that?
CROWD: YEAH!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Do you wanna paint that fence some other cool color and put a fake beard on that tire?
{Silence}
{Switches to view of Homestar's audience, showing it consists of the painting of a guy with a knife, Strong Sad holding a tapedeck, Homsar, and a popcorn popper.}
STRONG SAD: Oh, sorry. Forgot to rewind.
{Strong Sad rewinds tape deck and presses play}
CROWD: YEAH!
HOMSAR: DaAaAaAa! You gotta get yours. I gotta get mine.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right then, maggots! Lets get out there and invade us some serious Strongbadia! Company... GO!
{The Homestarmy marches off and The Cheat appears from behind The Stick. The view now shifts to Strongbadia where Strong Bad and Strong Mad are wondering about badminton}
STRONG BAD: Yeah, I don't know. Maybe there is a goodminton.
{The Homestarmy marches up. Homsar forgets to stop marching and walks right off the other side of the screen.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Bad, so I see you decided to join the other side, eh?
STRONG BAD: What joining?? I am the other side!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ten-Hut! Prepare to feel the flouride sting of the Homestarmy! Strongbadia... will be ours!
STRONG BAD: No it won't. We're about to play some badminton. So.. no invasion.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. So I see. {pause} Retreat!! Fall back men! We're in over our heads!
STRONG SAD: Hold the line! Hold the liiiine!
STRONG BAD: And take this stupid thing with you.
{Strong Bad kicks the popcorn popper. A crash is heard off screen.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Bennedetto! Don't you die on me Bennedetto! Not on my watch! Don't you give up! {Tearing up} You never gave me the five bucks...
{The sceen switches back to Strong Bad and his computer.}
STRONG BAD: {Typing} And that, my dear Hankerin', is why Strongbadia will never need an army, though we are in dire need of a copy of the official rules of badminton. No idea what we're doing. None.
{The Paper comes down.}
STRONG BAD: {mumbling} Firebert. Terrible!
Easter Eggs
- Near the beginning, click "Three-to-one Marny" to see a handbook containing the rules to playing 3-person marny, as written by the guy who wrote the book (Lem Sportsinterviews) in the Strong Bad Email studying. Click the rulebook to read it.
- At the end, click on "No idea" to see a scene at Marzipan's House.
- Also at the end, click "army" to see a Firebert action figure! It's reminiscient of the action figures in the Strong Bad Email action figure, and later appears in the Cheat Commandos cartoon.
Fun Facts
- That big guy with the knife was first introduced in i love you and then showed again in the Strongbad's school e-mail CGNU.
- Homestar says that the enemy is Gordon Lightfoot. A Canadian singer. He says "...the trees you're always huggin' comes to save you when Gordon Lightfoot starts creepin' around your back stair". This is a lyric from one his most famous songs, "Sundown". It goes like this:
- "Sundown, you'd better take care, when I find you've been creepin' 'round my back stair"
- The box Homestar is standing on at the stick says "Twelve Of Them". This is a reference to fingers, in which Homestar stands on a box which bears the words "Eleven Soaps".
- It looks like Strong Bad has finished the painting of a guy with a big knife. (In i love you he didn't paint the bottom few inches.) Except for the popcorn popper, everyone in the Homestarmy is wearing a cereal bowl as a helmet. Oddly enough, so is the guy in the painting!
- The painting walks into Strong Badia by itself. Homsar carries the popcorn popper.
- The popcorn popper Frank Bennedetto) within the ranks of the Homestarmy is most likely a West Bend Hot Air Popcorn Popper 01568 Popcorn Maker. Say that three times fast. Backwards.
- I think this is the only time we see Freecountry, USA with a grey sky.
- Frank Bennedetto may have been the only casualty of the Battle of Strongbadia, but he may not have died. Homestar led Mrs. Benedetto to believe that he was dead, but the appropiate term is more 'missing in action'. You see him behind the fence in the Strong Bad Is In Jail Cartoon, and actually back in the army in the Labor Day puppet thing.
- When Strong Bad say it's been a while he was referring to the fact that this was the first update in a few weeks.
- Although Strong Sad says that he forgot to rewind after the second "crowd cheer" at the pep rally, the rewind sound does play after the second cheer.
- This email was added on January 5, 2004.
