lady fan

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 17:33, 6 March 2006

"Twees it out!"

Strong Bad tries unsuccessfully to impress an emailer's new lady fan.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, The Cheat, Marzipan,

Places: Computer Room, Gymnasium, Strong Bad's Laundry Room, Marzipan's House,

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: March 6, 2006

Running Time: 3:29

Page Title: Lappy 486

Transcript

STRONG BAD: How many emails can you check? 5, 12, 7, shut up.

{reading}

subject: extra cool

Dear Strong Bad,
My new lady fan does not like you so much. Should I
just call it quits now or can you do something extra special
cool to impress her?
Buck Webb
Houston, Tejas

{Strong Bad reads "Houston" as "Hooston".}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Buck Webb? You sound like one of those boring soap-opera comic strips from the, {stops typing} quote, un-quote, {resumes typing} "funny" pages.

{An example of a boring soap-opera comic pops up. It is titled "Buck Webb, Extraordinaire". Music begins playing.}

BUCK: I'm afraid it's Splittsville for us, Lady Fan... if you don't take a shine to Strong Bad.

LADY FAN: Oh, Buck...

{Cut to the next panel. Lady fan is holding a gun up to Buck.}

LADY FAN: I'll give Strong Bad a chance. In fact...

{Cut to next panel, of a turtle in a pool, with the caption "Sea turtles eat a wide variety of food".}

LADY FAN: ... I think I'm falling for him. Like, big time.

BUCK: C'mon, baby. Stay with me.

{Next panel. Buck is holding a yoga DVD.}

BUCK: I'll buy you a new yoga DVD.

{Next panel. Lady fan is crying and there is a caption "Back in Des Moines..."}

LADY FAN: I'll... think about it.

{Cut away from comic}

STRONG BAD: {typing} We both know who she's gonna choose, Buck. Is that what you want? But hey, you asked for it. And as you know, when people send me stupid emails, I'm obligated by law to do what they say. So, extra special cool comin' right up!

{Cut to a gymnasium.}

STRONG BAD: Nothing's more ESC than one-handed push-ups. Couplea these bad boys outta do the trick! Here-a I-a go-a!

{Strong Bad attempts to do 1-handed push-ups. He fails. The scoreboard buzzes and turns to -1.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, did I say "1-handed push-ups"? Those things are lame. Real men play 2-handed push-ups! We'll start with 50 and see how we feel. Here-sa I-sa go-sa!

{Strong Bad attempts to do a 2-handed push up. He fails. The scoreboard buzzes and turns to -51.}

STRONG BAD: I can't do ONE push up?! I used to be able to do like 4. Maybe I need to start workin' out.

{Homestar appears, dressed as a work-out instructor.}

HOMESTAR: Boy, I'll say you do. One, two, and flex your pecs! Give it 8 more! And five! Twees it out! C'mon y'all! Just twees it out!

STRONG BAD: Twees it out???

{Homestar turns around to show Strong Bad his rear.}

HOMESTAR: Your buttweesimo! We're gonna mold that twees into the Iron Sheik! Just six more now! 8 and 4! Shake it freely, twees it out!

STRONG BAD: Yeah, cool. I'm gonna go ahead and need you to never say "twees it out" ever again.

HOMESTAR: You're doing great! Now shoulders down! One and two...

{Strong Bad walks towards the viewer.}

STRONG BAD: What'll really impress your lady fan is a cute, fluffy The Cheat {Scene changes to laundry room} Fresh from the dryer! Awww, look at him! All cuddly soft...

{Strong Bad tries to pet The Cheat but is shocked.}

STRONG BAD: AHHHH! Jeez, use a dryer sheet man. Uh oh, this is not looking extra special cool.

{The Cheat starts turning green and his cheat noises turn queasy. Strong Bad closes the dryer door just as The Cheat throws up.}

STRONG BAD: Don't worry, little buddy. We'll just throw you back in the wash.

{Some vomit runs out the corner of the dryer door. Homestar returns, still in his work-out uniform.}

HOMESTAR: Get in the wash. Come one, come on! Twees it, twees it, zabaradoo!

STRONG BAD: Get it out of here, Wretched Simmons! I'm trying to get some girl to like some guy I don't know!

{Scene changes to Strong Bad and Marzipan sitting at a table with a kitty litter bag, pie pan with some kitty litter in it, envelopes, and scissors.}

STRONG BAD: One thing I definitely know about the lady fans is that they all like crappy arts and crafts projects.

MARZIPAN: Today we're going to make a real creative centerpiece out of junk mail and kitty litter.

STRONG BAD: {Sarcastically.} Sounds heavenly...

MARZIPAN: Now first of all I want you to take your snip-sniparooskies-- and that's what we call our scissors...

STRONG BAD: {Overlapping, uninterested.} Uh-huh...

MARZIPAN: ...And then just a little crinkle cut right here on the northern edge...

STRONG BAD: UGH! Never mind! What the lady fans really want is some {Echo effect turns on.} PYROTECHNICS!!!

{Strong Bad throws the BMW Lighter onto the table, turning everything on it to ashes, including Marzipan's hair.}

MARZIPAN: Strong Bad, you're a horse's twees.

STRONG BAD: There you have it, Buck. Oh wait...

{Changes to comic strip version of Strong Bad talking to Buck.}

STRONG BAD: There you have it, Buck. If that floozy's not all up-ons after that, you gotta drop her like a trig class, see.

{Next panel, solo shot of Buck.}

BUCK: Tight, Strong Bad. Real tight.

{Next panel, work-out Homestar.}

HOMESTAR: That's right! Keep that twees real tight! Flex it, flex it, shoulder stance!

{Next panel, a comic book version of The Paper. The Paper noise is heard.}

Easter Eggs

• Click the scoreboard after Strong Bad calls one-handed push-ups lame to see a blue bumper sticker that says "Real Men Play Two Handed Push-ups!!" with a small image of a soccer ball in the corner.
• At the end, click on the printer's green button to see Homestar's weight-loss DVD, titled "Tweesercize".
  • The "Tweesercize box makes the following claims:
    

Tweesercise with Homestar Runner

Loose weight?

6 minutes long!!!

Fun Facts

Remarks

• This is the first time we see Strong Bad perspire. This is also proof that he isn't very strong.
• While Strong Bad may not be able to do pushups, he was able to throw Homestar (who weighs 100 pounds) and the King Of Town (who has a reputation for being very fat and unhealthy) out of his house in secret identity.
• This is another instance of The Paper not coming down normally.
• This is the second time The Paper has been shown coming out of a printer, the first time being in Email Processing Room. It appears to come from a dot matrix printer.

Inside References

• The score counter going negative refers to an easter egg in montage.
• Strong Bad locking The Cheat in the dryer is a reference to 2 years.
• This is another appearance of the BMW Lighter.
• This is another mention of Homestar's Pants.
• Buck Webb emailing from "Tejas" is a reference to Strong Bad's pronunciation of Texas in boring (really) and property of ones.

Real-World References

• The soap-opera-type comic pokes fun at comics not written to be funny, such as Rex Morgan, M.D., which are found in most newspaper Funny Pages.
  • The panel with a sea turtle is a reference to the drama/information comic strip Mark Trail.
• Strong Bad calls Homestar "Wretched Simmons", referring to fitness guru Richard Simmons.
• The Iron Shiek was a famous wrestler in the WWF in the 1980s.

External Links

• watch "lady fan"
• watch "lady fan" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "lady fan"
• forum thread re: "lady fan"