retirement A

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Strong Bad Email #159a
watch cliffhangers some kinda robot
"Perfect! Now I'm out of my anti-depressant."

The Lappy-napper is revealed! Can Strong Bad save his beloved fold-em-up computer? Find out in the first two-part email!

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Marshie, The Sad Kids, Homestar Runner, The King of Town

Places: Strong Bad's Basement, Bubs' Concession Stand, Computer Room

Computer: Lappy 486, Tandy 400

Date: October 2, 2006

Running Time: 3:57

Page Title: Lappy 486



{Open in Strong Bad's computer room, coming in on a worried Strong Bad, while suspenseful music plays.}

STRONG BAD: My computer's been lappynapped!

{A record scratches and the screen dims, Marshie comes in from the bottom of the screen.}

MARSHIE: Hello, Kenneth!

{Marshie flies across a yellow background.}

MARSHIE: Hear me roar!

{Marshie growls for a moment, then opens his mouth wide, the background turns red, sound lines come out of his mouth, and he meows. Cut to a shot of the Sad Kids standing on top of Marshie.}

MARSHIE: That's right, kids!

{Silhouettes of the main characters scroll across the page, with big question marks over them. As he names the sweepstakes, the name appears on the screen.}

MARSHIE: Play the Fluffy Puff Marshmallows My Lappy Got Stole! Sweepstakes and win big!

{As Marshie says "big", he grows a large, fat, white body, and his voice deepens. Cut to a shot of a bicycle. Marshie's voice is back to normal.}

MARSHIE: First prize,—

{A shot of a metal detector}

MARSHIE: —second tries,—

{Marshie, in a car, driving along with mountains in the background}

MARSHIE: {singing} Take a trip to the mountains... {these words appear above the mountains, written on a musical staff}

{The screen dims and Marshie comes down from the top with a top hat and a cane.}

MARSHIE: I'm a song and dance man!

{Cut to a wooden desk, with a note card on it.}

MARSHIE: Just email who you think done it on a 3x5 note card,—

{"it was the HIPPO!" is written on the note card.}

MARSHIE: —stick a Fluffy Puff on each corner,—

{Four marshmallows appear, one stuck on each corner of the card. Cut to Marshie, talking through gritted teeth, in front of a painting.}

MARSHIE: —and just walk away, mother...

{Cut to Strong Bad's basement, looking at the ad on the TV. Marshie is next to a bag of Fluffy Puff Marshmallows.}

MARSHIE: Fluffy Puff Marshmallows. Yeah! Still!

{The words "Yeah! Still!" appear underneath Marshie. Cut to Strong Bad lying on the couch, surrounded by empty chip packets of various descriptions.}

STRONG BAD: You gotta be kidding me. Man, everybody's trying to make a buck o' nine off my heart-drooping loss.

{He feels around in the nearest bag of chips, and finds that it's empty.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, perfect. Now I'm out of my antidepressant. Nothing dulls the pain quite like several dozen half-full bags of {as he lists the flavourings, symbols for them appear at the top of the screen} Italian-herb-chipotle-buffalo-ranch-guacamole-Thai-peanut-style chippety-chumps. I guess I'll slink off to Bubs' and refill my prescription. Slinnnk...

{Strong Bad somehow slides up and over the armrest of the couch, and off screen. Cut to Strong Bad at Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs is nowhere to be seen.}

STRONG BAD: Bubs! Hello? Can I get a witness? Bubs? {looks around the stand, and screams}

{Pan to the side of the stand, we see the Lappy's power cord hanging off the roof.}

STRONG BAD: The Lappy's tail! I'll save you, Lappy-pie... boo... {runs back and forth anxiously} Just keep your pixels on. Strong Bad's got everything under control-alt-delete.

{Strong Bad picks up a ladder from behind the stand, and climbs up onto the roof.}

STRONG BAD: Who put you up here— Wha?!?

{The suspensful music plays, and reveal the Lappy, with the broken Tandy and the shotgunned Compy. The Tandy is holding a magnet from a fishing rod above the Lappy's keyboard.}

STRONG BAD: It's my crappier and crappiest computers!

{Both old computers fizz and spark.}

STRONG BAD: Careful guys, let's not do anything inappropriate with that magnet... I've got a lot of important text files on that 5 meg hard drive... Now just let the Lappy go, and we can all go out for hush puppies. You guys still like hush puppies, don't you?

{Both old computers fizz and spark a lot.}

STRONG BAD: Okay, fine. hush puppies are out. For some reason I... I thought you guys liked hush puppies.

{Both old computers keep fizzing and sparking. The Tandy also churns its floppy disk drive.}

STRONG BAD: Sorry guys, we're getting nowhere. I don't speak extravagantly broken computer.

{The Paper comes down, reading "'Sup Strong Bad. I'll help with the translation."}

STRONG BAD: The Paper! You're just in time! Find out what they want!

{The Paper goes back up, and the Compy "talks" for a bit. The Paper comes back down with "They want to come out of retirement..."}

STRONG BAD: Retirement? They didn't retire, I threw them away. Ask them if they mean they want to come out of thrown-awayment.

{The Paper comes down again, reading "They're not laughing. They each want to check one last email."}

STRONG BAD: Are they joking? Those guys couldn't check an email with the help of sixty horses dressed up as IT professionals!

{The Tandy lowers the magnet a little, and the Lappy's screen turns on, showing:}

Oh, Child!
It's the Teal Screen
of Near Death! (TSoND)

STRONG BAD: Okay, okay, okay! I'll do my best. If it'll save the orphanage... I mean, my Lappy, I'll do it. Now, let's check emails like it was the deuce double-ought dweice!

{Both old computers "talk".}

STRONG BAD: It just means 2002... I... thought it was slick... slick-rick... way to talk...

{Fade through black to Strong Bad with the Tandy at the email-checking desk.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Green lines, green, green lines. It's a Strong Bad Email again.

{Strong Bad reads "sincerly" as written, and "josh oakland" as one name}

STRONG BAD: Well, let's just see here... Zero capitalisation...

{The first letters of each of "dearest", "strong", "bad", "do", "sincerely", "josh" and "oakland" are all briefly highlighted}

STRONG BAD: Misspelling...

{The word "sincerly" is briefly highlighted}

STRONG BAD: Lack of punctuation...

{The blank spaces after "bad", "hardest", "sincerly" and "josh" are all briefly highlighted}

STRONG BAD: Looks like a winner to me! {typing} Dearest Josho, I have some good news for you! I DO remember the email that I deleted the hardest. And I'm still remembering it right now!!! {stops typing} Homestar! Little help please.

{Pull back to reveal Homestar pouring a bottle of Mountain Dew into the hole in the side of the Tandy}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm way ahead of ya, SB.

STRONG BAD: Then, we'll just add some of the King of Town's fizzy denture tablets.

{Strong Bad holds up a box of "Oh No You Dent!!!" disgusting old person tablets}

THE KING OF TOWN: {offscreen} Thems is my after-dinner mints!

{Strong Bad tips several of the tablets into the hole.}

STRONG BAD: {heavy reverb} And now if you'd please turn in your hymnals, and join me in singing number 119, a-deleted.

{Strong Bad hits the keyboard, and the "DELETED!!" screen comes up, with a gothic font. Organ music plays.}

STRONG BAD & HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Deleted!

{Strong Bad swings a pickaxe through the keyboard and the desk. The Tandy explodes, and gives off a bad graphics mushroom cloud.}

STRONG BAD: Goodbye, old girl. They'll always say you went out blaze of green rectangular glory.

{Homestar starts pouring Mountain Dew on the carpet. Cut to a closeup of Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: All right! One down, one to go.

{Cut to a shot of the shotgunned Compy on the desk. The suspensful music plays. The Paper comes down, reading "To Be Continued Tomorrow!"}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on Strong Bad's diamond when he says he's got a lot of important text files on Lappy's harddrive to see a selection of those files.

Cool nicknames for myself

Mr. Lewd Comment 1965
The Fake Frenchman
Light 'n Fluffy NO!
Heaven in Tights
Good Fortunator
Bicep Lad
Mighty Legit
Dabney Coleman's Evil Twin
/got nothin'
The Detroit Locksmith

 Cloud Shape Spotting Log

lightswitch w/no cover
baseball headed baby
brown water
michigan w/2 bites out of it
smallish elbow
box of crackers (unopened)
2 salamanders giving low-5's
oversized novelty comb
cheap date
strong sad's ghost
uppity maitre d
strong sad's corpse
diet pills

Letter to Bakery Thrift Store

Dear Bakery Thrift Store,
Whom do you think you are
fooling? You sell old baked
goods. The stuff regular
bakeries throw away. So what
if a loaf of bread is only
29 cents? It's old bread.
Should I start collecting
roadkill squirrels, glue
cotton balls to their butts
and open an 'Aftermarket
Rabbit Thrift Store?' Oh,
wait. Yes I should. Thank You
Bakery Thrift Store. Love, SB
Horses in IT?
  • Click on the chimney after Strong Bad's joke about Horses in IT to see a Dullard comic.
  • Click the plug socket after the explosion to replay the explosion animation.

Fun Facts


  • The explosion following the addition of Mountain Dew and denture tablets to the Tandy 400 is due to the rapid release of carbon dioxide gas from both the carbonated water and the effervescent action of the sodium bicarbonate and citric acid in the tablets. This process is not to be confused with the Mentos eruption phenomenon which releases gas only from the carbonated water due to the abundance of nucleation sites.
  • Control-Alt-Delete is a computer keyboard command on IBM PC compatible systems that can be used to reboot the computer.


The Lappy's tail!
  • Strong Bad says that the Lappy's hard drive holds five "megs." However, in animal, the Lappy has a "2 MB Hard Drive!".
  • There are clickable areas on the Lappy's screen, but clicking on them has no effect. This is because they are actually the contrast buttons for the monitor behind Lappy (from Strong Bad's first computer), and they are disabled in this scene.
  • The contrast on Strong Bad's Tandy is in a different font than from before it was thrown out.
  • The Paper doesn't have a link to Strong Bad's email address.
  • Outside the black during the Mountain Dew scene, there is an extra outlet, complete with the Lappy's cord plugged in.


  • The Lappy seems to still have all its keys, despite one of them being removed in cliffhangers.

Inside References

  • This is another appearance of index cards on the site.
  • "Now, let's check emails like it was the deuce double-ought dweice!" may be a reference to the fact that Strong Bad last checked an email with the Tandy in 2002.
  • The position of Strong Bad's head in front of the Tandy, his visible mouth on his reflection on the Tandy and his lack of head shaking is a reference to his early emails.
  • "Number 119, a-deleted" may be in reference to Sbemail #119, in which Strong Bad first got the Lappy.
  • Two of the items on Strong Bad's Cloud Shape Spotting Log refer to Strong Sad's imagined death.
  • Homestar pouring Mountain Dew into the Tandy is a reference to anything.
  • The line "if it'll save the orphanage" is a reference to Kid Speedy.

Real-World References

  • The Teal Screen of Near Death is a reference to the various colored Screens of death used by computer operating systems to indicate serious system errors. The Compy 386 has been seen to have its own Blue Screen of Death (the Flagrant System Error) on more than one occasion.
  • Dabney Coleman is an actor most known for his role in the films Nine to Five and Tootsie.
  • Strong Bad scrambling back and forth underneath the Lappy's cord may be a reference to Donkey Kong 3.
  • Slick Rick was a popular hip-hop artist of the late 1980's and early 1990's.
  • /got nothin' in the text files is a reference to, where people sometimes end their posts with that remark.

External Links

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