garage sale
From Homestar Runner Wiki
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===Some Items for Sale=== | ===Some Items for Sale=== | ||
| - | * Troop Transport from | + | * Troop Transport from [[Cheat Commandos Commercial]] - $93 |
| - | * [[1936 Strong Bad]]'s Telegrammophone from | + | * [[1936 Strong Bad]]'s Telegrammophone from [[50 emails]] - $50 |
* Eggs from [[morning routine]] - $54 | * Eggs from [[morning routine]] - $54 | ||
* Box labelled "riverquest safariventure" from [[theme park]] - $1.04 | * Box labelled "riverquest safariventure" from [[theme park]] - $1.04 | ||
| - | * [[Ab-Abber 2000]] from email | + | * [[Ab-Abber 2000]] from email [[suntan]] - $77 |
* [[Heavy Lourde]] - $2 | * [[Heavy Lourde]] - $2 | ||
| - | * "Words I Probably Said" tape from email | + | * "Words I Probably Said" tape from email [[autobiography]] - $67 |
* [[Swiss Cake Rolls]] - $50 | * [[Swiss Cake Rolls]] - $50 | ||
| - | * [[Lectric Boots]] from email | + | * [[Lectric Boots]] from email [[extra plug]] - $116 |
| - | * "sb_snailmail.exe" mailbox from email | + | * "sb_snailmail.exe" mailbox from email [[other days]] - $111 |
* [[Floppy Disk Container]] (disk showing is "typing tutor jr") - $23 | * [[Floppy Disk Container]] (disk showing is "typing tutor jr") - $23 | ||
* A bag of [[Potate]] chips - price not given (must view .swf file) | * A bag of [[Potate]] chips - price not given (must view .swf file) | ||
| - | * "Aunt Gert" pantyhose doll - $.25 | + | * "Aunt Gert" pantyhose doll - $.25 (but sold to Bubs for $.225) |
| - | * [[Strong Bad's Fondue Pot]] from | + | * [[Strong Bad's Fondue Pot]] from [[50 emails]] - $50 |
| - | * "Canopy's" can of peas - $99 | + | * "Canopy's" can of peas - $99 (presumably sold to Senor Cardgage) |
* [[Gooblies]] - $77 | * [[Gooblies]] - $77 | ||
| - | * Cloitsterizer from | + | * Cloitsterizer from suntan: "Great for Graw Mad" - $77 |
| - | * Keg of | + | * Keg of [[Cold One]]s: "Great for Baby!" - $38 |
| - | * Helicopter from | + | * Helicopter from [[Cheat Commandos Commercial]] - $93 |
| - | * Clock Radio (possibly [[Homestar's Radio]]): "Great for Baby!" | + | * Clock Radio (possibly [[Homestar's Radio]]): "Great for Baby!" (price not given) |
* "What About YOU Write A Book About Come-Back Jokes, NERD!" book from email "[[50 emails]]": "Great for Baby!" (listed as $50 in .swf file when Strong Bad is talking to Bubs) | * "What About YOU Write A Book About Come-Back Jokes, NERD!" book from email "[[50 emails]]": "Great for Baby!" (listed as $50 in .swf file when Strong Bad is talking to Bubs) | ||
| - | * Box of scorpions from [[your friends]]: "Great for Baby!" | + | * Box of scorpions from [[your friends]]: "Great for Baby!" (price not given) |
* Pink Candle - $00 | * Pink Candle - $00 | ||
* Egg Carton - $EGG | * Egg Carton - $EGG | ||
Revision as of 07:24, 2 May 2005
Strong Bad Email #129
Strong Bad gives his thoughts on garage sales and garage sale patrons.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Marzipan, Bubs, Strong Sad, Senor Cardgage, Coach Z, The Cheat, Homestar Runner, Frank Bennedetto
Places: Computer Room, The Field, Homestar's House
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: May 2, 2005
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing} Here comes another email that I'll answer for you! Here comes another email that I'll answer for you!
subject: garage sale=money! hey strong bad! I seriously think you need to have a garage sale!! I mean think of all da things you could get with all that money... cat (yeah that's my real name)
{Strong Bad doesn't read the part in parentheses and instead says...}
STRONG BAD: ...and something I don't wanna read. {typing} What sort of 'da things' are we talking about here, Catman? 'Da bomb' or, uh, 'da boyz' or even, {not typed} uh, {typing} 'da hood?' Nah, I don't think I want any of dose. {clears screen} Lemme tell you a thing or two about garage sales: Ya ever get the feeling that the people just got lazy taking the trash out, so they stopped right there on the driveway and started putting price tags on things? I mean, isn't it just a little suspicious that there's only a one-letter difference between 'garage sale' and 'garbage sale?' {says "garbage" as "gar-BAGE"} Except, don't ever say 'garbage' {same way} like that. That's, like, the only joke Moms have and they can keep it for all I care. So then there's the issue of the sort of folks that frequent garage sales: bottom feeders, lemme tell ya.
{Cut to Strong Bad's garage sale. There is a sign reading "GAR[s]B[/s]AGE SALE" in the middle of The Field, and merchandise (see below) is found everywhere with various price tags. Marzipan walks up.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} First, there's the haggler, {"THE HAGGLER" appears in the middle of the screen with a bowler derby on it for a moment.} the guy who spends all day trying to talk you down from a quarter to twenty-two cents for some worthless piece of crap.
{The camera scrolls over to Bubs and Strong Bad. Bubs is holding an ugly doll.}
BUBS: I'll give you two thin dimes for this pantyhose doll.
STRONG BAD: First off, uh, that is Aunt Gert! And secondly, she's worth WAY more than the quarter I'm asking for her! Heck, I paid six-fifty for her new! And them's 1998 dollars!
BUBS: Well, maybe if she was wearing a troll outfit, or a witch's hat or somethin'...
STRONG BAD: I'll let her go for twenty-four cents.
BUBS: Twenty-two and a half!
STRONG BAD: You, my friend... just bought yourself an Aunt Gert.
{Cut away to the hills of The Field}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Next is the lurker. {"THE LURKER" appears in the middle of the screen with a candle and two skulls on it for a moment.} You know, the shady night-manager at Stucky's type, who stays around all day but never buys anything.
{The camera pans down to Strong Sad and Senor Cardgage looking at merchandise.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And you're like, is he there just to be seen?
SENOR CARDGAGE: Look at this can of peas, Helvetica! Won't you help me buy it for you?
STRONG SAD: I'm finding it hard to express just how uncomfortable I am right now.
SENOR CARDGAGE: It ain't know why. Especially since you have this can of peas to look forward to!
{Strong Bad walks up.}
STRONG BAD: Look, if you're not gonna buy anything, you gotta leave. You're drivin' away all my best customers!
{Senor Cardgage walks off with the can of peas.}
STRONG SAD: Augh! I feel like I need a chemical shower after talking to that guy! Do we have an emergency eyewash station?
STRONG BAD: At least he bought something, lurker! Go back to Stucky's! {voiceover} And last, but not least...
{Cut to another part of the garage sale, this time with Marzipan and Coach Z. "COACH Z", with a basketball instead of the O and a towel hanging off the Z, appears in the middle of the screen. Coach Z is carrying a variety of items all labelled "Great for baby!"}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} ...there's Coach Z.
{The text disappears.}
MARZIPAN: Coach Z, may I ask why you're buying up all the "great for baby" items?
COACH Z: I'd prefer that you didn't.
{cut back to the Lappy}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Obviously, wasting your Saturday morning just to sell three dollars and nineteen cents {typed as "$3.19"} worth of trash isn't the real reason to have a garage sale. It's to get people out of their houses so The Cheat can ransack them!!
{Cut to Homestar's living room. The place is a wreck, and The Cheat is standing in the middle of the room near a large bag. Bennedetto is in the foreground.}
THE CHEAT: {says something while stuffing Homestar's cow lamp into the bag}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {popping out of the bag} Hey, can you put this cow lamp back? {throws it out} We're running out of room in here! You wouldn't get much for that thing anyways. It's not even a real cow.
{Cut back to the Lappy}
STRONG BAD: {typing} See? And then we'd make a killing when we sell the stuff back to them a few weeks later at an inflated price.
{Cut to the garage sale. Marzipan and Strong Bad are standing near an answering machine.}
MARZIPAN: Ooh! This is perfect! I've always wanted an answering machine!
ANSWERING MACHINE: {in Marzipan's voice} It's a great day at Marzipan's! Please leave me a message!
{Marzipan looks at Strong Bad angrily, while Strong Bad looks around shiftily.}
STRONG BAD: Uh, see, it is perfect! It already knows your name, even! Heh! Oooh, heh. Eee. Oh. Hmm. Preow! {runs off}
MARZIPAN: More like, pree-ow!
{The Paper comes down.}
Easter Eggs
- At the beginning, click on "da bomb," "da boyz" and "da hood" to bring up t-shirts with phrases incorporating each term.
- At the end, click on the Heavy Lourde to see Homestar make an offer he can't refuse.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: We got a Homestar Runner for sale! Slightly used and mostly confused! We can't give these things away! {turning around} I'll take it! {turning back} I'll take twelve! Drive one home today!
- Click on the answering machine to see more of Coach Z.
- {Marzipan and Coach Z are at the garage sale in the same positions as before.}
- MARZIPAN: This garage sale is more like a gar-BAGE sale.
- STRONG BAD: {leaning in from offscreen} AIH AIH AIH AIH AIH! Mom's Only!
- COACH Z: Oh, then I'm okay to say it!
- {Strong Bad and Marzipan give him a surprised look.}
Fun Facts
Trivia
- This is the first time we see Marzipan raise an eyebrow.
- Strong Bad's Fondue Pot is being sold for $50.
Inside References
- The line "It's a great day at Marzipan's!" references the email part-time job.
Some Items for Sale
- Troop Transport from Cheat Commandos Commercial - $93
- 1936 Strong Bad's Telegrammophone from 50 emails - $50
- Eggs from morning routine - $54
- Box labelled "riverquest safariventure" from theme park - $1.04
- Ab-Abber 2000 from email suntan - $77
- Heavy Lourde - $2
- "Words I Probably Said" tape from email autobiography - $67
- Swiss Cake Rolls - $50
- Lectric Boots from email extra plug - $116
- "sb_snailmail.exe" mailbox from email other days - $111
- Floppy Disk Container (disk showing is "typing tutor jr") - $23
- A bag of Potate chips - price not given (must view .swf file)
- "Aunt Gert" pantyhose doll - $.25 (but sold to Bubs for $.225)
- Strong Bad's Fondue Pot from 50 emails - $50
- "Canopy's" can of peas - $99 (presumably sold to Senor Cardgage)
- Gooblies - $77
- Cloitsterizer from suntan: "Great for Graw Mad" - $77
- Keg of Cold Ones: "Great for Baby!" - $38
- Helicopter from Cheat Commandos Commercial - $93
- Clock Radio (possibly Homestar's Radio): "Great for Baby!" (price not given)
- "What About YOU Write A Book About Come-Back Jokes, NERD!" book from email "50 emails": "Great for Baby!" (listed as $50 in .swf file when Strong Bad is talking to Bubs)
- Box of scorpions from your friends: "Great for Baby!" (price not given)
- Pink Candle - $00
- Egg Carton - $EGG
- Marzipan's Answering Machine - $129
- Homestar Runner - SOLD
