theme park
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Summary
StrongBadEmail #104
Strong Bad fields an email about his theme park.
Features: Strong Bad, Cheerleader (Easter Egg), The Ugly One (Easter Egg), The King of Town, The Cheat, Strong Sad, Strong Mad, Bubs, Pom Pom, Coach Z (as "Stoppy"), Homestar Runner (as "Poppy"), Homsar (as "General Tso's Chicken")
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing} Everybody love this, everybody needs this, it's time for funny stuff.
{reading, in a Teen Girl Squad voice} Dear strong bad, you are the coolest... {stops reading, clears throat} Oh! Excuse me.
{reading} Dear strong bad, you are the coolest, any way onto buisness. {pronounces just like it is misspelled} i think that you should make your own theme park.
{Sighs upon seeing that the email was signed "crapfully crap," and instead says} Sincerely yours, Rafael FL.{says Football League}
{typing} Well, Rafi, being the distinguished buisnessman {continues with the misspelling used earlier} that I am, I've had a theme park in development for quite some time now. Almost as long as I've been growin' this mustache.
{A 10,000x magnification of Strong Bad's upper lip appears, showing a growth of one hair.}
Anyways, it'd be called
{cut to view of a theme park by the Stop Sign and Cinder Block}
Strong Bad's Mount RIDESPLACE! USA
{As this is said, the appropriate words flash on the screen above the view of the theme park.}
And it will have more rides than you or your grandmother can handle.
{As this is said, the words "More Rides Than You Or Your Grandmother Can Handle!*" appear along with a "*please do not bring your grandmother" disclaimer on the bottom.}
Of course, our flagship rollercoaster would be
{cut to view of the rollercoaster}
The Bowels of Trogdor!! {pan out to see that The King of Town is riding the rollercoaster and screaming} Which would like whip you around and around until you either throw up or catch fire somehow. {The King of Town catches fire somehow}
{Cut to Strong Bad and The Cheat and the entrance to the ride. A Trogdor sign is there that says "Peasants must be as tall as my beefy arm to ride this ride." The Cheat is clearly not tall enough.}
Sorry little guy, I can't do nothing for you. {The Cheat puts on a top hat} Maybe you better head over to Sweet Cuppin' Cakes Land instead.
THE CHEAT: {Makes a thoroughly disappointed noise}
{cut to Strong Sad standing on a stage}
STRONG BAD: And every hour, at the main stage, there'd be a performance of The Strong Sad Gets Decked Repeatedly Stunt Spook-tacular.
{A banner lowers behind Strong Sad that says "The Strong Sad Gets Decked Repeatedly Stunt SPOOK-tacular!!" Strong Sad is wearing a witch's hat. Strong Mad comes from stage right to flying tackle Strong sad.}
STRONG MAD: MAUHHH!
STRONG SAD: Oh!
{Strong Sad climbs back up on the stage. Strong Mad comes from stage left this time to flying tackle Strong Sad again.}
STRONG MAD: MAUHHH!
STRONG SAD: Oh!
{cut to Strong Bad behind a table with a layout of the theme park on it}
STRONG BAD: To make sure you don't have any money left when you leave, {the words "not to scale" appear with an arrow pointing at the layout} there'd be more games than you or your grandfather could handle.
{cut to Bubs working the "Throw Game"}
You know, the ones where you throw hoops or rings or baseballs at different stuff and try to win cheap generic stuffed animal versions of ten-year-old cartoons.
{During this voice over, !PomPom plays the "Throw Game" while Bubs looks on. !PomPom successfully gets all three rings that he tosses around the "xtra cold one" bottle.}
{Strong Bad's arm appears, holding up a cheap stuffed animal}
Like this Bubs with a horn.
BUBS: No, no, no. You gotta get those rings inside the bottle.
POMPOM: {makes bubble noises}
{!PomPom picks up a baseball and throws it at the bottle in frustration.}
{cut back to Strong Bad behind the layout of the park}
STRONG BAD: No theme park would be complete without a bunch of costumed mascots running around antic-ing... {scratches head} antique-ing... whatever.
{Cut to view of an area behind some fencing. The King of Town still rides "The Bowels of Trogdor!!" in the distance.}
You know, there'd be one of the Stop Sign,
{Coach Z appears wearing a costume that has a cartoonish looking Stop Sign design}
call him "Stoppy, Stoppy the sign" and then there'd be the tire...
{Homestar appears wearing a costume that has a very cartoonish looking Tire design}
call him "Poppy the tire"... And who could forget "General Tao's Chicken"
{A carton of what could only be General Tao's Chicken falls from the sky. It has "Ryan S." written on the side. Homsar's feet appear beneath it.}
HOMESTAR: Hey, Stoppy, is your suit chafing you like crazy?
COACH Z: Well, to tell ya da truth dere Poppy, I've always enjoyed a good chafe.
HOMSAR: AaAaAaAaA! It's time for tasteball.
HOMESTAR: Oh crap! It's tasteball already?
{cut to Strong Bad back at the compy}
STRONG BAD: {typing} But yeah, it's a pretty unrealistic vision. I'm gonna have to start robbing WAY more hot actresses if I ever hope to make that dream a reality. But for now, I'll settle for giving tours on The Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure.
{He gets up. Cut to Strong Bad standing in a box in Strongbadia. He holds some sort of microphone.}
{He makes a squelch-type noise and speaks in a theme-park tour-guide-styled monotone voice} Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen my name is Strong Bad and welcome to The Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure. {He makes a squelch-type noise again}
{Cut to wide view of Strong Bad standing in a box labeled "riverquest safariventure". Homestar sits in front of him in the box. To the left is a running hose. The water from the hose forms a puddle around the box.}
{squelch} Please keep your arms legs and valuables inside the vehicle at all times and get ready to experience the fury of The Strong Badian Riverboat Superfun... ride. {squelch}
{The Paper comes down}
{after a pause}
{squelch} And first up on our tour if you look to your right {Homestar looks to his right} experience the fury of {cut to wider view} a big rock that is going to fall on uuuus. {An obviously fake rock pops up behind the fence, mounted on a stick.}
HOMESTAR: Ooooh. {The rock goes back down behind the fence.}
STRONG BAD: That was a close call, I hope everyone is okaaaay.
HOMESTAR: I'm not ok--
STRONG BAD: {squelch} Shut up. {squelch}
{cut to closeup of Strong Bad}
{squelch} And if you look up the river here comes another one of our tour guides his name is The Cheat {Cut to wide view again. The Cheat walks by in his own box, which is labeled "R.Q. 2".} everybody say "Hi, The Cheeeeat."
HOMESTAR: Hide and seek.
{Some drum sounds can be heard}
STRONG BAD: {squelch} Oh what's that I hear is it the sound of island drums? Oh no it's headhunteeerrrs. {The cardboard cutout of a bear holding a shark, posing as a "headhunter," pops up from behind the fence.} {squelch} Everyone stay in the boat, I'll take care of thiiis. {squelch}
{Strong Bad pulls out a revolver, and turns his head away as he fires up into the air twice. The cutout goes back down behind the fence.}
{squelch} Looks like we scared those headhunters. Let's hope they don't come baaack. {squelch}
{cut to closeup of Strong Bad again}
{squelch} Well folks we've made it back safely did everyone have a good time?
HOMESTAR: Not really.
{Strong Bad continues to talk while Homestar answers.}
STRONG BAD: Goooood. Please leave you valuables under your seat and exit to your riiiight. {squelch}
{cut to wide view again}
HOMESTAR: Strong Bad, I gotta level with ya. That might have been the worst three thousand dollars I ever spent.
{The Paper comes down again}
{after a pause}
STRONG BAD: {squelch} Don't forget to experience the fury of our gift shooop. {squelch}
Easter Eggs
- Click on "buisness" after Strong Bad says it in the first part of the email to see a picture of The Ugly One and Cheerleader.
- Cheerleader looks angry and is wearing a dress that says, "kiss boys". She has a speech bubble that reads, "the ugly one, why you always gotta be all up in my bweez-NASS?" The Ugly One looks sad.
- Click on "Rafi" to see a mock NFL patch.
- Click on "Mount" in "Mount Ridesplace USA" after Strong Bad says "USA" to see Monkey D's season pass.
- Click on the next to last Bubs doll on the lower row, left side in the "Throw Game" stand to see a real Bubs plushie thingie.
- Wait around after the first time The Paper comes down to see the rest of the Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure.
- After the 2nd end of the Safariventure, wait around to hear what Strong Bad has to say about souvenirs.
Fun Facts
- The "headhunter" is the bear holding a shark cardboard figure from date.
- PomPom throws rings around an "Xtra Cold One", first seen in Cheat Commandos.
- The music played during Strong Sad's "Stunt Spooktacular" is the same music that was used in The House That Gave Sucky Treats.
- General Tso's Chicken, which is of course a real-world Chinese chicken dish is also referred to in ghosts.
- The Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure is a parody of Disneyland's Jungle Cruise ride.
- When Pom Pom hits the bottle with the ball, a crashing sound it heard yet it doesn't break.
- The "Ryan S." on the box of General Tso's chicken may be a reference to Ryan S. (Ryan Shoulders) from the TV show Survivor: Pearl Islands (airing in late 2003). In episode 2, Ryan S. goes to pick up a message (aka "treemail" on the show). While picking it up, he says, "The treemail, the treemail, wha wha the treemail," a play on the opening to techno.
