kids' book
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Strong Bad Email #84
Strong Bad shows off his children's book.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Eh! Steve (easter egg), The Wheelchair (easter egg)
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: Ladies and gentlemen. I give you... a-da sbe-mail.
{reading}
Dear Strong Bad, I was wondering if you have ever thought of a children's book, what it was about, and what kind of words did you try to teach the kids. Your fan, Steve Buttz
{Instead of Buttz, Strong Bad says "Never mind. I'm not even gonna touch that one."}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Yeah, I wrote a children's book. {Strong Bad pronounces book "buuk"} Who hasn't? I mean, kids can barely read as it is so how hard can it be to write for them? The book I wrote is called
{cut to the book itself. The name of the original author, Leomard Sportsinterviews, has been crossed out, and Strong Bad's name is in its place. We find this sort of thing throughout the entire book.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} "Everyone is Different." So here we go.
{Strong Bad opens the cover of the book, where we can see that the book's original owner was Strong Sad}
STRONG BAD: {reading} Everyone is different. No two people are the same.
{turns the page. A picture of a kid riding a red bike is there, with Strong Bad having drawn a big truck behind him. The original text is "Some people have freckles. Frankie has freckles."}
STRONG BAD: {reading} Some people are about to be run over. Frankie has about 5 seconds.
{turns the page. There's a picture of a tall African-American kid with a tennis racket, and added drawings of fighters and helicopters shooting at him while he smashes a city. The original text is "Some people are very tall. Quincy is very tall."}
STRONG BAD: {reading} Some people are very tall and merciless. Quincy is destroying San Antonio.
{turns the page. There's a picture of a girl with glasses reading a book. The original text is "Some people wears glasses. Beth wears glasses."}
STRONG BAD: {reading} Some people wears glasses. Beth looks like a dude.
{turns the page. There's a picture of a kid in a baseball uniform and glove with Strong Bad having scribbled a squirrel on his left hand. The original text is "Some people are left-handed. Gregor is left-handed."}
STRONG BAD: {reading} Some people are squirrel-handed. Gregor is a weird name.
{turns the page. There's a picture of a heavyset girl with braces and headgear, and Strong Bad has scribbled on a football jersey and a football field. The original text is "Some people have braces. Some people have headgear. Fran has both."}
STRONG BAD: {reading} Some people have braces. Some people have headgear. Fran could play linebacker for the Raiders.
{turns the page. A picture of a red-headed kid on a pogo stick, which Strong Bad has changed to the detonator of a huge amount of TNT planted in an enemy base. A guy is flying out of the base saying "AHH! i'M BEiNG KiLLED!!" The original text is "Some people have red hair. Albert has red hair."}
STRONG BAD: {reading} Some people have rigged the enemy base with explosives. Albert has.
{turns the page. There is a girl jumping rope with wavy lines drawn coming from her mouth with the word "HOTNESS." Strong Bad has also drawn himself next to her saying "hiya hotcakes." The original text is "Some people have a Southern accent. Trisha has a Southern accent."}
STRONG BAD: {reading} Some people have a Southern accent, and those are hot. Trisha is a severe hottie.
{turns the page. What was once a girl twirling a hula hoop is now a girl being swallowed whole by a huge monster, with an expression of horror drawn over her face, one of her legs disintegrating into bone, and a bag of money in her hand. The original text is "Some people have curly hair. Hillary has curly hair."}
STRONG BAD: {reading} Some people are being fangoriously devoured by a gelatinous monster. Hillary's legs are being digested.
{turns the page. We have a picture of everyone we saw before, and they're all being burned by fire. The original text is "Everyone is different. No two people are the same.}
STRONG BAD: {reading} Everyone is different. No two people are not on fire. Awwwww.
STRONG BAD: {typing} So there's my book {pronounced "buuk" again}. Pretty good, eh Steve? And the words that we taught the kids were, uh, fangoriously, gelatinous, and um, {mumbling} linebacker {this is typed in very small text}. You know, education at its finest. Well, some people need to go get an ice cream sandwich. Strong Bad needs to go get an ice cream sandwich.
{Strong Bad stands up and leaves, and then The Paper comes down.}
Easter Eggs
- At the end click on "book" to see Strong Bad's revised edition of the Original Book, Strumstar Hammer. Click to turn the pages.
- You can also click on "Eh, Steve?" to see a portion of the book about our good friend Eh! Steve - Be sure to click on him again to see the revised edition.
- ORIGINAL VERSION of EH! STEVE: Some people are called Eh! Steve. Eh! Steve is not exactly a person.
- REVISED VERSION of EH! STEVE: Some people are talkin wheel chairs. Eh! Steve will get what he deserves.
Fun Facts
- The design of the children's book is very obviously based on the old Golden Books, right down to the yellow vined border on and near the book's spine (sample cover here).
- Note the book is written by Leomard Sportsinterviews, also known as Lem Sportsinterviews.
- The inside cover says "This book belongs to Strong Sad"
- Strong Bad uses the term "fangoriously" in the email, probably in reference to the magazine Fangoria, which is dedicated to covering horror films and movie monsters. Click here for more info.
- A holiday edition of the book would appear in Decemberween In July.
DVD Version
- The Strumstar Hammer Easter Egg is not only accessable (and viewable on the old Toons menu TV), you get to hear Strong Bad read it!
- You also get to hear Strong Bad and Bubs as the Talking Wheelchair read the Eh! Steve Easter Egg in turn.
- The DVD version features hidden creator's commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.
