4 branches
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Strong Bad Email #161 |
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Strong Bad explains the four branches of stupid things Homestar's done.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Strong Sad, Coach Z, The Homestar Runner, Old-Timey Strong Bad, Limozeen (Easter egg)
Places: Computer Room
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: November 13, 2006
Running Time:
Page Title: Lappy 486
Contents |
Transcript
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STRONG BAD: {singing} Start your day, the sbemail way! And never get out of bed!
subject: stupidestHey Strong Bad,
I was wondering what was the stupidest thing that Homestar
ever did, said, or imagined???
ur biggest fan
Spanky elgrondo N.Y.
{Strong Bad reads "Hey Strong Bad," in a bored tone and continues to read the rest of the email the same way. He draws out "ur" before biggest fan and pronounces "N.Y." as "Nuevo York"}
STRONG BAD: Well, my good Spank, that is way too broad a subject and would take several days just to scratch the surface of the tip of that iceberg. Especially the imagined part. That one has it's own spreadsheet even.
STRONG BAD: No, we'll have to get much more specific if we're gonna cover any stupid Homestar ground in one email. So it's time you people learned all about {cut to a scene with a U.S. State Capital like building with the top shaped like Homestar's head and a banner} The Four Branches of Stupid Things Homestar's Done.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {as the top of the building} Ooo. I'm a neglected official
STRONG BAD: The first branch is in charge of keeping the public informed. It's the house of doing stupid things on national television!
{cut to Homestar Runner on the set of The Show}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Now isn't that a tasty makeover lady friends? {crowd cheers} Huh? Huh?!
{cut to a closeup of Homestar. As he says "Drab" and "Fab" a picture of the King of Town appears on the left and right of the screen. The one on the left has him doused with mustard.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: From Drab to Fab with nothing but Mustaaard! {crowd cheers}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Now my next guest says her man doesn't give respect when she comes correct. But he thinks she's just a drama mama. {cut to a shot of Marzipan looking very angry} So let's bring him out!
{Homestar turns towards a curtain, then a spotlight appears on Homestar and his clothes and appearance changes. The crowd boos.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah whatever, you know you all want some.
{someone throws a chair at Homestar and knocks him down. The crowd cheers gleefully}
STRONG BAD: That's right. Homestar secretly had himself, on his own, "Your a bad boyfriend talk show."
{cut back to the list of "Stupid Things Homestar's Done." A dotted line is traced to a coffee mug with Homestar's face on it.}
STRONG BAD: The next branch tracks the stupid things Homestar does on the job. Here comes The Bureau of Doing Stupid Things at the Office.
{cut to The Office with Strong Bad in his cubicle at a computer typing. Phones are ringing in the background}
STRONG BAD: {talking into headset} No ma'am, this would be a password you gave to us. Yes sir, it could be the last four digits of your dog, or you mother's maiden credit card number.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {offscreen} Hey Strong Bro, keg party at the water cooler!
STRONG BAD: {turns his head offscreen towards Homestar} Not Now! I'm talking to phone tree survivor number thirteen! {talking into headset} Yes lady, the whole password.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {offscreen} Strong Bro, free bagels at the water cooler!
STRONG BAD: I'm sorry ma'am, free bagels just happened!
{Strong Bad leaps up from his desk and slides out of his cubicle towards a water cooler stuffed with Homestar inside}
STRONG BAD: Aww man! This isn't free bagels!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: No, but it is free-ing Homestar from the water cooler. That's pretty sweet.
STRONG BAD: {momentarily stutters} Just explain to me what you were TRYING to do when this happened.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, I was in Barbados, hanging a picture on the wall.
STRONG BAD: Okay, that tells me everything I need to know. How 'bout we try this?
{Strong Bad walks over to the water cooler and presses down the button for the nozzle that has Homestar's foot sticking out of it}
'HOMESTAR RUNNER: ow, oW, OW, STOP! Sweet genious that hurt! Oh well, just forget it. I'll just stay in here for the rest of my life. Just stack my mail on top of me would ya? {Strong Bad walks off as a phone rings} Thanks S-bro! Man! Where should we go for lunch today? Chinese buffet?
{cut back to the list of "Stupid Things Homestar's Done." A scoreboard appears that flips through random numbers and resets at zero. Then it disappears as a dotted line is traced to a picture of Homestar with a graduation cap on. A caption appears under him that says "The join Sub-Committee On So Stupid It's Smart-ities"}
STRONG BAD: You know how in video games, if you get the super duper high score, eventually it flips back to zero? Well, sometimes Homestar does something so stupid, he flips back to smart.
{cut to Homestar in The Field atop a soap box with Strong Sad in the foreground}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: A wash with flavor!
STRONG SAD: Uh, okay Homestar. Then what's two plus two?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, the force between any two charges is equal to the absolute value of the multiple of the charges divided by 4 pi times the {incomprehensible} times the distance squared between the two charges.
STRONG SAD: No, no, no stupid! That's Columb's Law.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, right, sorry! Two plus two? That's easy. Twenty two.
Easter Eggs
- Click on "spreadsheet" after Strong Bad types it to see a spreadsheet entitled "A Great Idea for Personal Style" with the handwriting "MONGOLIAN BEEF WiG" and Homestar's head wearing such wig spread across the cells.
- Click on the cartoon in Strong Bad's cubicle to see a Dullard comic.
- At the end of the email, click on Homestar's head to see more fireworks.
- At the end, click on "Stupid" to see a Limozeen: but they're in space! cartoon:
- {Larry, Gary, and Perry are seen on a teal planet with the Alien, a snake-like animal coming out of the ground, and a ringed planet in the background}
- THE ALIEN: {gestures and stamps feet while speaking} Oh, that's Limozeen-in-space-lings. They don't have hotter blonde groupies with high bangs on my planet {mumbles}.
- LARRY: That's 'cause you don't have polyhairspraycheesealate!
- {cut to Mary holding a tentacle in a hot dog bun}
- MARY: {speaking with mouth full} Red's a communist fool! {takes a bite of sandwich and chews}
Fun Facts
Remarks
- Strong Bad's polo shirt he wears at the office has a 5.25 inch floppy disk crest.
Explanations
- Homestar correctly states Coulomb's law, which determines the the magnitude of the electrostatic force between two particles based on their charges q1 and q2 and the distance between them r:
Goofs
- In the last branch of the four branches of stupid things Homestar's done, budoir is misspelled. The proper spelling is "Boudoir".
Inside References
- The wooden crate Homestar stands on while he answers Strong Sad has had its label increment by one each time it appears. It originally read "Eleven soaps" in fingers, then "Twelve O' Thems", then "Thirteen, Y'all", and now reads "Fourteen times."
- Limozeen's animated debut was in best thing.
Real World References
- In old arcade games, if you get a score higher than 999,999, it might flip back over to 0. This happens in such games as Namco's Galaga or Pac-Man. Strong Bad mentions this when describing Homestar's Third Branch, "The Joint Sub-Committee on So-Stupid-It's-Smart-ities".
- Homestar's "You're a Bad Boyfriend Talk Show" is a topic covered by a great deal of daytime television talk shows, but throwing chairs(and violence in general) is usually linked to shows like The Jerry Springer Show.
- When Homestar is in the Dumple costume, he mentions the store Bed Bath & Beyond, which is a chain of domestic stores across the nation. He also mentions Good & Plenty, a famous fruit candy.
- Homestar saying "That's how I become a law!" is a reference to the School House Rock cartoon "I'm Just a Bill", showing how a bill becomes a law in Washington.
