the chair
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Strong Bad Email #162 |
|
Strong Bad decides to get a new chair. Bubs offers some suggestions.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Bubs, Lil' Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Strong Sad (Easter egg)
Places: Computer Room, Bubs' Concession Stand, Strong Bad's Basement, Strong Sad's Room (Easter egg)
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: December 4, 2006
Running Time: 3:57
Page Title: Lappy 486
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing} A-just scrape some email off the top, and I'll help you out toniiiight!
subject: the chair.D to the ear Strong Bad,
That chair you're sitting on doesnt look very comfortable.
When are you going to get a new, less hardwood, big,
office manager-style comfy computer chair?
Yours truely,
Keith, PA
{pronounces "doesnt" as "doest-n-t" and "truely" as "treh-leh", and reads "Keith, PA" as "Keith and Pa"}
STRONG BAD: Ooh! It's a father-son email picnic! {typing} Y to the ou don't know what you're talkin' about, Pakeithpsy. Stooly here is a tush-cheek's dream. So cottony squish and pillowy fresh. Take a look-see!
{Camera zooms out to show Strong Bad leaping off of the stool}
STRONG BAD: Whoa, It's been upgraded to Stank...
{a face fades onto the seat of the stool and coughs}
STRONG BAD: Eeew... Maybe it is time for a re-imagining of my email-checkin' chair...
THE CHAIR: {coughs again} I just need a lozenge...
{cut to Strong Bad standing outside Bubs' Concession Stand, with the camera centered behind Bubs}
STRONG BAD: Hey, Bubs!
BUBS: Hey, customer!
STRONG BAD: What do you got in the way of things I can sit on whilst I check emails?
BUBS: Ooh! Lucky for you! I just got this pre-owned box of chicken beaks in just now! {places the box on the counter} Like right just now!
STRONG BAD: Ok, ok, ok... But you got anything less anthrax-y?
BUBS: I got this old Winger album! {holds up the record case}
STRONG BAD: Well, yeah... that is less anthrax-y. But I was kinda hoping for a chair of some kind.
BUBS: Step right into my showroom! {slides off screen and bursts out of the side of the concession stand} Alright! We'll start at the tip, and work our way to the tup!
STRONG BAD: You make less sense every day, Bubsy.
BUBS: Crabberdonk!
{The side of the concession stand reattaches to the wall briefly, then falls back down with a red, white and blue bicycle seat on it}
STRONG BAD: Hey, that's no chair! That's Red, White and Banana! My old bicycle seat!
{cut to a film-projected scene of Li'l Strong Bad riding the bicycle seat outside a porch}
STRONG BAD: I used to ride that thing on my paper route all the time!
{Li'l Strong Bad lights a newspaper on fire with a Duplo lighter and throws it at the house; cut back to Strong Bad and Bubs outside the concession stand}
STRONG BAD: No, I'd better pass on that. I had a few too many wipeouts on that thing as a kid.
BUBS: Ugh! You nasty!
STRONG BAD: What?
{The side of the concession stand again reattaches, and falls down with a Homestar chair on it}
STRONG BAD: What makes you think I want to check my email on a Homestar Runner-shaped chair??
BUBS: Aw, come on. Give it a try!
{Strong Bad jumps onto the chair}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ow.
STRONG BAD: {jumping out of the chair} Wah!
BUBS: Whoops, seen enough of that one!
{The concession stand displays a deformed chair}
STRONG BAD: Aww, your snowman died!
BUBS: You simpleton! This is a Danube-Largo original! The Styleron Ecochair! {camera zooms in on the chair as a Styleron Ecochair logo appears}
STRONG BAD: Look, I don't care how Swedish your chair is. I have no need for a giant albino doggie-doody.
BUBS: Always a hit at parties...
STRONG BAD: Come on, Bubs! Don't you have anything more... executive? A chair that will intimidate my underlings and eliminate my overlings!
BUBS: Ooh! lucky for you! I just got this pre-owned-- {concession stand displays the same box of chicken beaks}
STRONG BAD: {interrupting} NOT a box of chicken beaks!
BUBS: Oh. Then behold:
{the concession stand displays a large leather chair}
BUBS: Le Restige!
STRONG BAD: Style and class! Oh, tell me that leather's Corinthian! Just tell me it's Corinthian!
BUBS: Crabberdonk!
STRONG BAD: Now what kind of options are we looking at on this baby?
BUBS: Ooh! You're gonna love this!
{Bubs opens a compartment in the arm rest to reveal a red button and presses it, making a buzzing sound; a pair of metallic arms appear from behind Strong Bad and slip a pair of gray sweat pants on him}
STRONG BAD: No way! A sweat pants button! And so begins my meteoric rise to the top of the corporate ladder... Now alls we gotta do is see how well it checks emails!
{cut back to the computer room, with Le Restige taking up nearly the entire screen}
STRONG BAD: Check, check, checkin' email...
{opens an email}
subject: your maskDear strong bad,
How come you never take your mask off?
STRONG BAD: {typing} Like I said, this is not a mask. It's m'face. But hey, I'll give it a shot! {tugs on his face until it comes off, and raises it above the chair; screaming}
STRONG BAD: {reattaching his face} Ugh! I am NEVER gonna do that again! And, here's a picture of my parents.
{The corner of a photograph appears. The camera zooms out to show the entire chair.}
STRONG BAD: And now time to unwind with a pair of executive sweat pants! {pushes the sweat pants button}
{the robotic arms go haywire and toss Strong Bad into the air; he falls down with several layered sweat pants on his legs another pair on his head}
STRONG BAD: {groaning} Ooooh... so... many... sweat pants... I can't feel my parts...
{The Paper comes down}
Easter Eggs
- Click on the sign while Bubs shows off the ecochair to see a poster of the designer.
- At the end, click on the executive chair to see a scene of Strong Sad trying to sit on the ecochair.
- {Cut to Strong Sad's room. Strong Sad is sitting rather awkwardly atop the ecochair. The poster for it is on the wall behind him.}
- STRONG SAD: {Slides backwards down the chair} Whoa... whoa... whoa... whoa... {Falls backwards, appearing to break his back} Ooh! ... I can't feel my parts.
Fun Facts
Explanations
- A lozenge is a small medicated candy intended to be dissolved slowly to soothe irritated throats.
- Anthrax is an infectious, often fatal disease of cattle, sheep, and other mammals which can be transmitted to humans by contaminated wool, raw meat, or other animal products.
- "What does Strong Bad look like without his mask?" and "What do the parents of the characters look like?" are two questions that The Brothers Chaps have said that they are not likely to ever answer seriously.
Trivia
- The Floppy Disk Container reads "bio forge".
- The photo of Strong Bad's parents is in fact blank and reads "nice try dodongo!". A Dodongo is an enemy from the Legend of Zelda series.
Goofs
- There is no back button for this email.
Inside References
- Strong Bad says (and supposedly demonstrates offscreen) that his "wrestling mask" is his real face. He mentioned this before in some kinda robot and many other places.
Real-World References
- Winger is an American Hard Rock/Glam Metal band from New York City.
- Pakeithpsy sounds almost identical to the upstate New York city of Poughkeepsie.
- The Ecochair could be a reference to the Tempurpedic mattress.
External Links
- watch "the chair"
- watch "the chair" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "the chair"
- forum thread re: "the chair"
