date
From Homestar Runner Wiki
StrongBadEmail #81
Somebody asks Strong Bad what a date with Homestar and Marzipan is like. The chilling result gives everyone the jibblies.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Strong Mad, Strong Sad, The Cheat
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {mimicking typing noises} Dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub DIB! Ticka.
{reading}
Dear Strong Bad, Here's a question for ya. What do you think happens when Homestar and Marzipan go on a date? Dynomite Boston, MA
{Strong Bad doesn't say MA, he says "And the state Boston's in."}
STRONG BAD: {typing} You know I've done a lotta thinking on the subject. And yes, Boston, you guessed it, it gimme the jibblies. So in order to watch from a proper, safe distance I made up the {begins running a program and says} Homestar Runner and Marzipan Extra Real Dating Sim XR! {the game loads up} Using the most state-of-the-art polygonious technologies, we can see what an actual date with Marzipan and Homestar Runner would be like without the risk of personal injury. Or vomiting. I think it would go a little something... a-like-a-dis-a.
{We're in the game. 3D, polygon-heavy images of Marzipan and Homestar are there, each with random options of things they can say. Strong Bad clicks on various words.}
MARZIPAN: DUH!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: FUH! DUH! DUH!
MARZIPAN: BUH! DUH! FUH! Strong Bad is on point!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: FUH!
STRONG BAD: {back to typing} So that gives you a pretty good idea of the lurking horrors. But to really experience it firsthand we'd need to like, get the Cheat to hide some kinda hidden camera, you know, in maybe that marshmallow place they always go to. So, we did. Let's check it out!
{cut to a TV labeled "Strong Bad's New Secret Security Camera Monitor." It turns on, and we see a low-quality black-and-white feed of Homestar and Marzipan on a date.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, okay, okay! Let's play again! What do you think I'll say next? Sid Hoffman, or Sid Frenchman?
MARZIPAN: This is the dumbest game I've ever played.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, c'mon! You're just being sore because you're losin'.
MARZIPAN: Okay, I'll go with Sid Hoffman.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Sid Hoffffff-Frenchman! Sorry! You lose again. I said Sid Frenchman.
MARZIPAN: Homestar, you said Sid Hoffrenchman. That was not even a choice.
STRONG BAD: Oh, geez. I don't think I can handle much more of this. Let's see what else we got on the tube.
{Strong Bad changes the channel to CAM 2, where we see the camera being smashed repeatedly in Strong Sad's face by Strong Mad. It turns out to be a hidden camera in Strong Mad's ring.}
STRONG SAD: Ow! Please! Quit! Punching! Me in the face! Since when did you start wearing a class ring?
STRONG BAD: Oh, beautiful!
STRONG SAD: With a camera in it?
STRONG BAD: Nice work, big bro! {changes to CAM 3, a view of Strongbadia.} Everything seems to be in order in Strongbadia. {The Cheat walks into the sight of the camera.} Oh! Perfect timing. Check out my security counter-measures. {The Cheat touches the tire and is instantly electrocuted. A cardboard cut-out of a bear holding a shark springs up and the Cheat screams and runs away.} Bwahaha! Look at the little guy run! The Cheat totally freaks out whenever he sees a bear holding a shark. {Strong Bad switches back to CAM 1. Homestar is now kicking Marzipan in the shins.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {kicking Marzipan under the table} Hey Marzipan, can you feel that?
MARZIPAN: Yeah.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: What IS that?
MARZIPAN: Well, you're kicking me in the shins.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, I think I'd remember something like that.
STRONG BAD: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys. We also switched Homestar Runner's gourmet coffee with super mud! {Homestar takes a sip of his "coffee" and spits it all into Marzipan's face. He then continues to kick her.} Whoa-ho-ho! That's great! {resumes typing} Marzipan's gotta face fulla super mud and I'm feelin' fine. The paper, would you bring this fine email to a close?
{The Paper comes down.}
STRONG BAD: I gotta go reset that bear-shark. You guys can play that game if you want.
{Strong Bad types "a> run hsamerdsxr.eve" and leaves.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on the words "Lurking Horrors" to see a pulsating "Lurking Horrors" logo.
- At the end, Click on "Marzipan's" to more of what goes on an a Homestar and Marzipan date.
- {Cut to the camera footage of Marshmallow's Last Stand.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Chun king! Chun king!
- MARZIPAN: Homestar...
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Chun king! Chun king!
- MARZIPAN: Homestar, what are you doing?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Chun king! Chun king! Chun king! Chun king! Chun king!
- MARZIPAN: {simultaneously} Stop it. You're getting on my nerves.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm trying to order the chun king.
- Click on the words "Super Mud" to see a can of it.
- Click on the words "That Game" to play Homestar's "Sid" game. (Yes, you can guess right.)
- Click on "hsramerdsxr.exe" to play Strong Bad's "H*R and Marzipan Dating Simulation XR"
Fun Facts
- You can cheat on the Sid game by clicking the other answer before Homestar says it.
- The bear holding the shark is possibly a reference to the book, Bear v. Shark, by Chris Bachelder. In it there is a discussion of a bear throwing a shark.
- The Cheat touching the Tire may be a reference to the email "i rule".
- Strong Bad has hidden video cameras in Strongbadia and Marshmallow's Last Stand.
- In the Dating Sim, Homestar speaks in his Powered by The Cheat voice.
- When Marzipan blinks on the closed-circut TV, her eyes revert back to their regular color.
DVD Version
- To access the Lurking Horrors and Super Mud easter eggs, use the angle button on your DVD remote.
This is one of the only emails on the set that does not have the angle option available when it should be. - The Dating Sim XR game is disabled for obvious reasons.
- The Sid Hoffman/Sid Frenchman Easter Egg is still accessable, though it's now a video clip instead of an interactive game.
- The DVD version features hidden commentary by Mike, Matt, and Marzipan. To acccess it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.
