theme park
From Homestar Runner Wiki
StrongBadEmail #104
Strong Bad fields an email about his theme park.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Cheerleader (Easter Egg), The Ugly One (Easter Egg), The King of Town, The Cheat, Strong Sad, Strong Mad, Bubs, Pom Pom, Coach Z (as Stoppy the Sign), Homestar Runner (as Poppy the Tire), Homsar (as General Tso's Chicken)
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing} Everybody love this, everybody needs this, it's time for funny stuff. {reading, in a Teen Girl Squad voice} Dear strong bad, you are the coolest... {stops reading, clears throat} Oh! Excuse me.
{reading}
Dear strong bad, you are the coolest, any way onto buisness. i think that you should make your own theme park. crapfully crap, Rafael FL.
{Strong Bad pronounces "buisness" just as it's spelled, says "(sigh) Sincerely yours" instead of "crapfully crap," and "football league" instead of "FL"}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Well, Rafi, being the distinguished buisnessman {continues with the misspelling/pronunciation used earlier} that I am, I've had a theme park in development for quite some time now. Almost as long as I've been growin' this mustache.
{A 10,000x magnification of Strong Bad's upper lip appears, showing a growth of one hair.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Anyways, it'd be called
{cut to view of a theme park by the Stop Sign and Cinder Block}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Strong Bad's Mount RIDESPLACE! USA
{As this is said, the appropriate words flash on the screen above the view of the theme park.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And it will have more rides than you or your grandmother can handle.
{As this is said, the words "More Rides Than You Or Your Grandmother Can Handle!*" appear along with a "*please do not bring your grandmother" disclaimer on the bottom.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Of course, our flagship rollercoaster would be
{cut to view of the rollercoaster}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} The Bowels of Trogdor!! {pan out to see that The King of Town is riding the rollercoaster and screaming} Which would like whip you around and around until you either throw up or catch fire somehow. {The King of Town catches fire somehow}
{Cut to Strong Bad and The Cheat and the entrance to the ride. A Trogdor sign is there that says "Peasants must be as tall as my beefy arm to ride this ride." The Cheat is clearly not tall enough.}
STRONG BAD: Sorry little guy, I can't do nothing for you. {The Cheat puts on a top hat} Maybe you better head over to Sweet Cuppin' Cakes Land instead.
THE CHEAT: {Makes a thoroughly disappointed noise}
{cut to Strong Sad standing on a stage}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And every hour, at the main stage, there'd be a performance of The Strong Sad Gets Decked Repeatedly Stunt Spook-tacular.
{A banner lowers behind Strong Sad that says "The Strong Sad Gets Decked Repeatedly Stunt SPOOK-tacular!!" Strong Sad is wearing a witch's hat. Strong Mad comes from stage right to flying tackle Strong sad.}
STRONG MAD: MAUHHH!
STRONG SAD: Oh!
{Strong Sad climbs back up on the stage. Strong Mad comes from stage left this time to flying tackle Strong Sad again.}
STRONG MAD: MAUHHH!
STRONG SAD: Oh!
{cut to Strong Bad behind a table with a layout of the theme park on it}
STRONG BAD: To make sure you don't have any money left when you leave, {the words "not to scale" appear with an arrow pointing at the layout} there'd be more games than you or your grandFATHER could handle.
{cut to Bubs working the "Throw Game"}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} You know, the ones where you throw hoops or rings or baseballs at different stuff and try to win cheap generic stuffed animal versions of ten-year-old cartoons.
{During this voice over, Pom Pom plays the "Throw Game" while Bubs looks on. Pom Pom successfully gets all three rings that he tosses around the "xtra cold one" bottle. Strong Bad's arm appears, holding up a cheap stuffed animal}
STRONG BAD: Like this Bubs with a horn.
BUBS: No, no, no. You gotta get those rings inside the bottle.
POM POM: {makes bubble noises}
{Pom Pom picks up a baseball and throws it at the bottle in frustration. Cut back to Strong Bad behind the layout of the park}
STRONG BAD: No theme park would be complete without a bunch of costumed mascots running around antic-ing... {scratches head} antique-ing... whatever.
{Cut to view of an area behind some fencing. The King of Town still rides "The Bowels of Trogdor!!" in the distance.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} You know, there'd be one of the Stop Sign,
{Coach Z appears wearing a costume that has a cartoonish looking Stop Sign design}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} call him "Stoppy, Stoppy the sign" and then there'd be the tire...
{Homestar appears wearing a costume that has a very cartoonish looking Tire design}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} call him "Poppy the tire"... And who could forget "General Tso's Chicken"
{A carton of what could only be General Tso's Chicken falls from the sky. It has "Ryan S." written on the side. Homsar's feet appear beneath it.}
HOMESTAR: Hey, Stoppy, is your suit chafing you like crazy?
COACH Z: Well, to tell ya da truth dere Poppy, I've always enjoyed a good chafe.
HOMSAR: AaAaAaAaA! It's time for tasteball.
HOMESTAR: Oh crap! It's tasteball already?
{cut to Strong Bad back at the compy}
STRONG BAD: {typing} But yeah, it's a pretty unrealistic vision. I'm gonna have to start robbing WAY more hot actresses if I ever hope to make that dream a reality. But for now, I'll settle for giving tours on The Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure.
{He gets up. Cut to Strong Bad standing in a box in Strongbadia. He holds some sort of microphone.}
STRONG BAD: {Microphone makes a click noise and Strong Bad speaks in a theme-park tour-guide-styled monotone voice} Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen my name is Strong Bad and welcome to The Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure. {Microphone makes a click noise again}
{Cut to wide view of Strong Bad standing in a box labeled "riverquest safariventure". Homestar sits in front of him in the box. To the left is a running hose. The water from the hose forms a puddle around the box.}
STRONG BAD: {click} Please keep your arms legs and valuables inside the vehicle at all times and get ready to experience the fury of The Strong Badian Riverboat Superfun... ride. {click}
{The Paper comes down. About 5 seconds later, the zooms in on Strong Bad and Homestar and the tour continues}
STRONG BAD: {click} And first up on our tour if you look to your right {Homestar looks to his right} experience the fury of {cut to wider view} a big rock that is going to fall on uuuus. {An obviously fake rock pops up behind the fence, mounted on a stick.}
HOMESTAR: Ooooh. {The rock goes back down behind the fence.}
STRONG BAD: That was a close call, I hope everyone is okaaaay.
HOMESTAR: I'm not ok--
STRONG BAD: Shut up. {click}
{cut to closeup of Strong Bad}
STRONG BAD: {click} And if you look up the river here comes another one of our tour guides his name is The Cheat {Cut to wide view again. The Cheat walks by in his own box, which is labeled "R.Q. 2".} everybody say "Hi, The Cheeeeat."
HOMESTAR: Hide and seek.
{Some drum sounds can be heard}
STRONG BAD: {click} Oh what's that I hear is it the sound of island drums? Oh no it's headhunteeerrrs. {The cardboard cutout of a bear holding a shark, posing as a "headhunter," pops up from behind the fence.} {click} Everyone stay in the boat, I'll take care of thiiis. {click}
{Strong Bad pulls out a revolver, and turns his head away as he fires up into the air twice. The cutout goes back down behind the fence.}
STRONG BAD: {click} Looks like we scared those headhunters. Let's hope they don't come baaack. {click}
{cut to closeup of Strong Bad again}
STRONG BAD: {click} Well folks we've made it back safely did everyone have a good time?
HOMESTAR: Not really.
{Strong Bad continues to talk while Homestar answers.}
STRONG BAD: Goooood. Please leave you valuables under your seat and exit to your riiiight. {click}
{cut to wide view again}
HOMESTAR: Strong Bad, I gotta level with ya. That might have been the worst three thousand dollars I ever spent.
{The Paper comes down again. After another pause, Strong Bad speaks again}
STRONG BAD: {click} Don't forget to experience the fury of our gift shooop. {click}
Easter Eggs
- Click on "buisness" after Strong Bad says it in the first part of the email to see a picture of The Ugly One and Cheerleader.
- Cheerleader looks angry and is wearing a dress that says, "kiss boys". She has a speech bubble that reads, "the ugly one, why you always gotta be all up in my bweez-NASS?" The Ugly One looks sad.
- Click on "Rafi" to see a mock NFL patch.
- Click on "Mount" in "Mount Ridesplace USA" after Strong Bad says "USA" to see Monkey D's season pass.
- Click on the next to last Bubs doll on the lower row, left side in the "Throw Game" stand to see a real Bubs plushie thingie.
- Wait around after the first time The Paper comes down to see the rest of the Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure.
- After the 2nd end of the Safariventure, wait around to hear what Strong Bad has to say about souvenirs.
Fun Facts
- The "headhunter" is the bear holding a shark cardboard figure from date.
- PomPom throws rings around an "Xtra Cold One", first seen in Cheat Commandos.
- The music played during Strong Sad's "Stunt Spooktacular" is the same music that was used in The House that Gave Sucky Treats.
- The Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure is a parody of Disneyland's Jungle Cruise ride.
- When Pom Pom hits the bottle with the ball, a crashing sound is heard yet it doesn't break.
- The "Ryan S." on the box of General Tso's chicken may be a reference to Ryan S. (Ryan Shoulders) from the TV show Survivor: Pearl Islands (airing in late 2003). In episode 2, Ryan S. goes to pick up a message (aka "treemail" on the show). While picking it up, he says, "The treemail, the treemail, wha wha the treemail," a play on the opening to techno.
- Strong Bad's reading of the name as 'Rafi' might be an obscure reference to a Canadian children's entertainer, Raffi.
- The paper on Strong Bad's desk is labeled "plans for stuff".
- After a while in the Safariventure,the hose stops.
- When Strong Bad shoots the bear and shark, it might be a reference to either Disney World's Jungle Cruise or Universal Studios "Jaws the Ride"
