pizza joint

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 05:49, 25 September 2007

"Um, The Pizz? Thanks for calling?"

Strong Bad "opens" a pizza place to attract girls, and accidentially becomes a success.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Daphne, Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, Homestar Runner, The King of Town, Strong Sad

Places: Computer Room, Strong Badia, The King of Town's Castle, the Review Revue, The King of Town's Grill

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday, September 24, 2007

Running Time: 3:09

Page Title: Lappy 486

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} Let a lil' email into your heart, and it'll clog your arteries!

subject: sbemails!!

Hey there Strong Bad,
As a typical college girl I was wondering if there is a
pizza joint somewhere in Strongbadia...you know, if me and
my girls wanted to come hang out sometime.
Hopeful in Pennsylvania,
Daphne

{Strong Bad gets more and more agitated as he reads the last two lines}

STRONG BAD: BLARG! {typing} Yes, We have a pizza joint! {Cut to the computer room; Strong Bad flails his arms wildly} I gots me a pizza joint! {Strong Bad falls off his chair and then rolls off the screen} Always been at the pizza joint! Come to the pizza joint with me!

{Cut to Strongbadia. Strong Bad is standing behind a cardboard box, on which The Cheat is busy writing "Strong Bad's Strong Badian PIZZ". They are surrounded by "Neighborhood Style" pizza boxes.}

STRONG BAD: Hurry up with that sign, The Cheat!

THE CHEAT: {annoyed The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: {walks to the front} No, no, no, that's already way too long. We need something short and catchy that Daphne and her girls can say real quick. You know, like, "The Max", or "The Emporium". It's never gonna work if they have to be like:

{Cut to a Teen Girl Squad scene. Cheerleader and So and So are wearing towels. What's Her Face is wearing her regular clothes. The Ugly One is dressed like a mummy in a sarcophagus. Daphne is there too, wearing a towel with "Daph" written on it.}

DAPHNE: Hey gals! Let's towel off and meet up at {words appear on screen as they are said} Strong Bad's Strong Badian pi-

CHEERLEADER: {interrupting} This is taking too long!

WHAT'S HER FACE: I'm already bored!

SO AND SO: I'm going home!

THE UGLY ONE: I belong in a museum!

{Cut back to Strong Bad and The Cheat}

STRONG BAD: College girls don't have that kind of time, man. We gotta strike while the girl is still hot!

THE CHEAT: {exasperated The Cheat noises; he crosses out "Strong Bad's Strong Badian" and writes "The" below it. The sign now reads "The Pizz"}

STRONG BAD: Yeah! The Pizz! I love it!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Umm, yeah. Lemme get a slice of p-roni, with some t-sauce, and {squinting} m-rooms.

STRONG BAD: Homestar, get outta here! We're not a real pizza place! This is just a front to meet some girls!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ohhhhh. Lemme get a calzone, then. With, uh, p-loaf and m-cheese.

{phone rings}

STRONG BAD: What the- Hang on a sec. {picks up a phone} Uhh... The Pizz? Thanks for calling? {Homestar leaves}

KING OF TOWN: Yeah, lemme get about 50 Thanksgiving Lovers pizzas delivered to the only castle around here!

STRONG BAD: King of Town? How did you even know about this place?

{Close in on Strong Bad, with the screen split to show the King of Town on the other end}

KING OF TOWN: Well, if you must know, I spend most of my day calling random numbers in hopes of finding a new restaurant!

STRONG BAD: Well, we're not a real place. {footsteps offscreen} We're just a-

{Cut back to Strong Badia. Homestar pops up wearing a The Pizz shirt and hat. The Cheat is also wearing a hat}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {zooms in at each sentence} Table 44 needs more breadsticks! The soccer team left without paying! And the delivery guy got a flat!

STRONG BAD: What are you talking about? Weren't you just a customer?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, but The Cheat hired me for the lunch rush. I mean, hey! Somebody's gotta make that muh-ney! {runs off}

STRONG BAD: This is all wrong! {cuts back to Strong Badia} The Cheat, in our effort to make a pretend pizza place in order to score some chicks, we somehow created a successful and well-reviewed actual pizza place!

{static; cut to Strong Sad standing in front of a sign that reads "Review Revue"}

STRONG SAD: Rustic and filled with old-world cardboard charm, the Pizz serves up Strong Badian-style pizza at a price that won't leave a dent in your wallet!

{during the second half of the preceding line, the Pizz's logo rolls in from the right; at the end, a green check mark and the text "pick!" appears with a "ding"}

{cut back to Strong Bad and The Cheat in Strong Badia}

STRONG BAD: Maybe we're going about this the wrong way, The Cheat. Girls don't wanna meet people in person anymore! They wanna meet 'em online!

{cut to a view of the Lappy 486 with a nondescript web browser open; the text "http://www.virtualpizz.biz" is typed into the location bar}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Welcome to virtualpizz.biz!

{The screen turns green with the text "Virtualpizz.biz" and a button that says "login", a cursor moves over the button and clicks it. The screen changes to show a picture of a piece of pizza with eyes, arms and legs; to the left are buttons saying "eyes", "hair", "mouth", "nose", "topping" and "crust".}

STRONG BAD: Where typical college girls can customize their own slice of pizza for some serious social networking.

{The cursor moves around and clicks the various buttons; the features in question change with each click. The screen then changes two show two of the slices of pizza in Strong Badia with Strong Bad. The lower left corner reads, "Pizz Points $500}

STRONG BAD: With me!

COMPUTERIZED STRONG BAD: {his lines appear in orange bubbles above him} Sup, Ladies. Welcome to the Pizz!

SLICE OF PIZZA ON THE LEFT: {in Homestar Runner's voice, line appears in a red bubble above him} Hey man, can I get a slice of p-roni?"

SLICE OF PIZZA ON THE RIGHT: {in the King of Town's voice, line appears in a purple bubble above him} I'd like to place a pick-up order.

COMPUTERIZED STRONG BAD: You're not Daphne, you're... pizza trolls! Flame war!!

{both slices of pizza catch fire and start running away}

SLICE OF PIZZA ON THE RIGHT: It burns!

SLICE OF PIZZA ON THE LEFT: Ahhhhhhhh!

COMPUTERIZED STRONG BAD: Well, I guess I should spend all these Pizz points.

{The number of Pizz points decreases and objects appear in Strong Badia: The arcade game and couch from the Basement and Homestar's dresser and cow lamp. The right fence is then painted like the Basement, the left pink with blue dots. Cut back to Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: With a clunky UI and a played-out avatar system, Virtualpizz.biz misses the mark!

{During the preceding, the logo for Virtualpizz.biz enters from the right, at the end, a red X with text "Miss!" appears over it with a buzzer sound.}

STRONG SAD: That, and every time I tried to add Strong Bad to my Pizz list, he'd call me Thelonious Dump!

{Cut back to Strong Bad at the Lappy 486}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Well, I'm all outta ideas. I dunno how to get Daphne and her girls to come to my pizza joint.

{Zoom out to a view of The Cheat standing to the right of Strong Bad}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: What do you mean, they're at your pizza joint? What pizza joint? The Pizz has competition?

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises; makes a beckoning motion with his arm}

{Cut to the King of Town's barbecue, which has "CHEATSA PIZZA" written on a strip of masking tape on it}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} That's your pizza joint.

{Zoom out to show Strong Bad and The Cheat next to the barbecue}

STRONG BAD: Grill with some tape on it.

THE CHEAT: {smiles, affirming The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Lemme see this.

{Strong Bad opens the grill; balloons and confetti come out and high pitched, exciting voices are heard. Zoom out to a silhouette of the same scene as the balloons drift off-screen. Zoom back in.}

STRONG BAD: {covers barbecue again} The Cheat, this is amazing! Count me in! {sotto voce} Do you guys take Pizz points?

THE CHEAT: {affirming The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Count me in!

{Strong Bad opens the barbecue and jumps in; The Cheat follows him. The grill shuts behind them. The grill opens again and The Cheat partially emerges, covered in lipstick.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

{The Cheat goes back into the barbecue and it shuts. The King of Town enters from the left carrying a lighter, a can of gasoline, a container of lighter fluid that reads "Lite em up Dan" and a bag of charcoal that reads "King of Town Charcoal!"}

THE KING OF TOWN: Doo doo doot doot doo!

{Cut back to the Lappy 486. The New Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

• Click on "girls" at the end to see an extra scene with Strong Sad.

{Strong Sad at the Review Revue}

STRONG SAD: Strong Bad phones this one in with Strong Bad Email 179. {sbemail179.html slides at the bottom of the screen} Despite a strong showing from fan favorite Strong Sad, {slaps his stomach} the email ultimately fizzles due to a heavy reliance on what can only be called "internet pizza jokes". {a red X reading "MISS!" appears on top of sbemail179.html}

• Click on "pizza joint" at the end to see an extra scene with Homestar.

{Homestar is dressed in his "The Pizz" uniform, dancing on a blue background}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Party! Cheatza Party!

Fun Facts

Explanations

• A calzone consists of pizza toppings wrapped inside a giant piece of pizza dough.
• A flame war is a common message board term for a heated (and hateful) argument.
• A Troll is a common message board term used for people who "flame" other users and incite arguments and flame wars.

Trivia

• www.virtualpizz.biz is a real fan-created website that was registered about half an hour after this email debuted. The site features the login page from the email. An easter egg reveals a link to an about page.
• The Floppy Disk Container reads "D".
• What's Her Face is seen wearing her normal clothes while the other girls are wearing towels. (Except the Ugly One who is in a sarcophagus)
• The sides of the pizza boxes read "Pizza Box" / "Neighborhood Style".
• This is the first email since the debut of New Paper not to end with a complaint about it from Strong Bad.
• The bushes in The Field are in a different style.

Inside References

• This email prominently features pizza.
• Strong Bad complained about not getting emails from college girls in hygiene.
• The way Strong Bad says "competition" is a reference to The Reddest Radish.
• Credenza is seen in the background of the Review Revue.
• The King of Town uses "Light 'Em Up Dan" brand lighter fluid.
• "Cheatsa parties" were previously mentioned in mile.
• Strong Bad spends his virtual "Pizz Points" on the Trogdor stand-up arcade cabinet from Arcade Game, the couch from Strong Bad's basement, and Homestar's cow lamp from caper. He overspends his 500 Pizz Points by 51.
• The music played in Strong Sad's easter egg is from portrait.
• Homestar's Easter egg dance is identical to the broken animation of a headless Homestar dancing found at the end of mile.
• Strong Sad mentioning "Strong Bad Email 179" is an example of Fourth Wall Breaks.

Real-World References

• The Max, one of Strong Bad's examples for shorter names, is a reference to Saved By The Bell.
• The King of Town ordering "Thanksgiving Lovers'" pizzas is a reference to pizza shops that sell "Meat Lovers'" or "Veggie Lovers'" pizzas.
• VirtualPizz.biz spoofs commercial social massively multi-player online games such as Habbo Hotel and Coke Music.
• Homestar's Easter egg song is based on a commercial for the Pizza Party board game.
• Strong Bad's nickname for Strong Sad, "Thelonious Dump", is a reference to famous jazz pianist Thelonious Monk.

External Links

• watch "pizza joint"
• watch "pizza joint" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "pizza joint"
• forum thread re: "pizza joint"