what i want
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Strong Bad Email #163 |
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Strong Bad tells us not only what he wants for Decemberween, but also what he doesn't want.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Marzipan, Strong Sad (voice)
Places: Computer Room, Shopping Network Studio
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: Monday, December 11, 2006
Running Time: 3:29
Page Title: Lappy 486
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing} Ding-ding-dong, ding-ding-dong, ding-ding-
subject: decemberweenDear Strongbad,
What do you want for Decemberween?
your holiday spirit
Talon Jendro
Des Moines, IA
{Strong Bad pauses between "Jen" and "dro", and does not say "Des Moines, Iowa".}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Where'd you get that name? George Lucas? Ta'lon J'en-dr'o from the computery generated planet of Des' Moi-nes'ia. {clears screen} Anyways, everybody knows the kind of stuff I want, Ta'lon. A catapult that launches balls of cobras, chainsaw car, subscription to EGM2, hot step-sister. That email writes itself. It's more important that I establish what I don't want for Decemberween. {types "X-berween"}
{cut to "Z' ShopChan" TV shopping channel}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Our first item is a perennial all-star of bad awful Decemberween presents: the ornament.
MARZIPAN: There's no better way to say, "I have no idea what your interests are" than to give someone a present that ceases to be useful the moment it's opened.
STRONG BAD: Yes, there's nothing like opening a gift just in time to put it in a box in the attic for a year. And next Decemberween when you get it back out, guess what? It's still just a cool snowman surfing the internet.
MARZIPAN: Internet is so hot this year.
{A phone rings}
STRONG BAD: Oh, we got a caller. {puts an empty hand next to his head} Go ahead, caller. How many FR114P-dc8s should I put you down for?
STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Strong Bad, did you put wildebeest pheromones in my laundry again?
{wildebeest noises}
STRONG SAD: Auugh!
{dial tone}
STRONG BAD: Another satisfied customer. Next up, we have one of those mechanical dancing musical nobots. The kind that you accidentally activate by getting too close.
DANCIN' STRONG BAD MUSICAL NOBOT: {heavily distorted voice} I'm like come on Fhqwhgads, I said come on Fhqwhgads, Everybody to the limit, The Cheat is to the limit...
{The nobot's music fades out as we cut back to Strong Bad and Marzipan. Strong Bad is holding his hands over his ears.}
DANCIN' STRONG BAD MUSICAL NOBOT: {continuing softly in background} ...Everybody come on Fhqwhgads...
MARZIPAN: {simultaneously} Listen to that moldy oldy in glorious drive-thru stereo. {A sign reading "Drive-Thru Stereo" appears over her head.}
STRONG BAD: Who can appreciate the song when all you're really hearing {cut back to the nobot} are the plastic gears and motors clanking together in an effort to barely bust some sort of move?
{Cut to a closeup of Marzipan. The nobot now appears in the left pane.}
MARZIPAN: These things just scream "I stopped at the drug store on my way over".
{Cut back to Strong Bad and Marzipan. Strong Bad is staring at the nobot with swirly eyes.}
MARZIPAN: Now, on to our next item. Uhh, Strong Bad?
STRONG BAD: Sorry, I'm completely entrangled by those {cut to extreme closeup of the Nobot} hypnotically swaying hips. {cut back. Strong Bad shakes his head violently} Our last gift items are all about the false notion that just because you made something yourself, it's not a worthless piece of crap.
MARZIPAN: These sea-shells have office supplies hot-glued to them for absolutely no reason.
STRONG BAD: Yes, and the more globs of hot glue I can see, the quicker I throw it in the trash.
MARZIPAN: This clothes-pin reindeer ornament is forgettably precious.
{record scratches}
STRONG BAD: Whoa, homemade and an ornament. That thing is an anti-gift. If someone gives you one of those, you actually have to pay them because it's so poor. Uh, probably because they're so poor.
{white noise, cut back to Strong Bad typing on his Lappy}
STRONG BAD: {typing} So Ta'lon, my young apprentice, there's my "Please Great Aunt Whoever, Don't Get Me This Stuff For Decemberween" list. I highly suggest you make your own. But if it doesn't work, don't forget to take advantage of all the temporary help that retailers hire this time of year. Those people will refund ANYTHING! Last year, I returned an omelette to a hardware store for nigh on fifty bucks. Well, happy Decemberween everybloody!
{The Paper comes down and Strong Bad leaves.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on the words "balls of cobras" as Strong Bad types them to see a board game entitled "COBRA-PULT!!"
- Click on the words "chainsaw car" as Strong Bad types them to see the blueprints to a chainsaw car.
- At the end of the email, click on the words "Don't Get Me This" to see a Dancin' Homestar Runner Musical Nobot that plays the intro tune.
- DANCIN' HOMESTAR RUNNER MUSICAL NOBOT: {heavily distorted singing} Everybody! Everybody! Everybody! Everybody!
Fun Facts
Explanations
- Strong Bad types "Decemberween" as "X-berween". X-mas is a common abbreviation of the word Christmas. Moreover, decem is Latin for ten, and "X" the corresponding Roman numeral.
- Hollandaise is a French lemon-butter sauce.
- A pheromone is a natural chemical produced by an animal that causes a specific response when detected by another animal, normally of the same species.
- This email parodies the general format of home-shopping television networks, such as QVC and the appropriately-named Home Shopping Network.
Trivia
- The Floppy Disk Container reads "low blow".
- The following is a list of all items seen being sold by Z' ShopChan:
- ZXJ481-78b
- Commemorative Coach Z Ornament
- WRT54G-Sc
- Eh! Steve! Soiled Gold Ornament
- FR114P-dc8
- Cool Snowman Surfing the Internet Ornament
- 3DT178-2t2
- Dancin' Strong Bad Musical Nobot
- N2cXL8-42
- Seashells b/w Office Supplies
- Kj78M-Xn45
- 31 Kt Clothes Pin Reindeer – "Klibber"
- The Cool Snowman's monitor reads "internet dot com."
- This is the first email that counts as a Decemberween toon.
- The calculator glued to the shell reads "04 04 04", which upside down looks like "ho ho ho".
- This is a rare instance of Marzipan and Strong Bad coexisting peacefully, even doing something together without conflict.
- This is the first email since the Tandy 400 era with a capital letter in its title. The last email with a capital in its title was 3 Wishes, over 130 emails ago.
Remarks
- The Dancin' Strong Bad Musical Nobot is said to have Drive-Thru Stereo even though only one speaker was visible.
- The reindeer clothespin is marked as "31 kt". "Kt" stands for Karat, and is used to indicate the purity of gold. Pure gold is 24kt.
- Apparently, Strong Bad got rid of Le Restige from the chair, as he is apparently on Stooly in this email.
- Strong Bad said "dear Strong Bad" in his email song even before the email was on screen.
- When Strong Bad announced the numbers/letters for the snowman surfing the internet, he didn't mention any capital letters which is usually important for selling items over the phone.
Goofs
- At the end, when Strong Bad gets off the computer, his reflection is outside of the screen for a single frame.
Inside References
- The Cobra-pult game is made by Boardelectrix.
- The Strong Bad toy plays Everybody to the Limit, and the Homestar toy plays the Intro theme.
- Strong Bad was previously hypnotized in cartoon.
- The Dancin' Strong Bad Musical Nobot's part number ends in 2t2.
- The seashell and office supply gift has b/w in its title.
- There is a Cakkalate-brand calculator glued to the second seashell.
- The Clothes Pin Reindeer has googly eyes.
- "Entrangled" and "Everybloody" are examples of Portmanteaus.
- The "Ding Ding Dong" jingle at the beginning of the email is to the tune of the intro of the Jingle Bells song played by Keyboard Strong Bad in Decemberween Sweet Cuppin' Cakes.
- A similar "Ding Dong, Dear Strong Bad" was used to start off the email in japanese cartoon.
- Coach Z was previously shown with an afro and mustache in stand-up and record book.
Real-World References
- This email makes several references to George Lucas and his Star Wars franchise, specifically Episodes 1 through 3 (released between 1999 and 2005):
- Large portions of Episodes 1 through 3 were completely computer-generated. This is likely why Strong Bad mentions a computer-generated planet when addressing Talon.
- When Strong Bad calls Talon "Ta'lon J'en-dr'o", he refers to the many aliens in the Star Wars universe whose names contain apostrophes and/or hyphens.
- Strong Bad calls Talon "my young apprentice", another reference to Star Wars: Darth Sidious often addresses some characters in this way, such as Darth Vader and later Luke Skywalker.
- EGM² was a spin-off magazine of the video game magazine Electronic Gaming Monthly. It was published until 1998 when it became Expert Gamer.
- Two of the part numbers, WRT54G-Sc and FR114P-dc8, refer to popular networking hardware – the Linksys WRT54G and the NetGear FR114P.
- The dc8 in the snowman's part number refers to the DC-8, one of the earliest commercial jet aircraft.
- This email is strongly reminiscent of Saki's short story 'Reginald on Christmas Presents' in which Reginald, an 1890's, campy, British, aristocratic character, mocks all the terrible Christmas presents he has received from relatives.
- Strong Bad shakes his head and makes a noise reminiscent of Chester Cheetah when he tries to break out of the Nobot's hypnotic spell.
- The opening tune Strong Bad sings as he opens the email is sung to the tune of a refrain from the song "Hunting Tigers Down in India" by the Bonzo Dog Band, a group that became more well known after members later formed the Beatles parody group the Rutles. The lyrics to the refrain originally were "Dear dear dear no, dear dear dear no, dear dear, oh, dear no."
- Strong Bad saying that he returned an omelette to a hardware store is likely a reference to an urban legend that a shopper once successfully returned a set of tires to Nordstrom, a department store that has never sold tires.
Fast Forward
- The Coach Z 1974 ornament was later seen in Decemberween Short Shorts.
- Less than a week after the release of what I want, a fan made version of the Eh! Steve! ornament was shown on the Weekly Fanstuff. To account for the speed at which it was created, it was coupled with the caption; "whoa, that was fast."
External Links
- watch "what i want"
- watch "what i want" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "what i want"
- forum thread re: "what i want"
| Decemberween |
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