Coach Z
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Character: Coach Z |
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- This article is about the main character. For the Teen Girl Squad character, see Olympic Man and Coach.
Contents |
Biography
Coach Z is the "coach" of the residents of Free Country, USA, though it is unclear exactly which sports he coaches. He has a strong accent, based on an Upper Midwestern accent (though it is also sometimes simply nonsensical) which is sometimes difficult for other characters to understand. While occasionally tiresome, he is always ready to offer encouragement and is rarely critical of anyone. When giving advice, he tends to start with the phrase "You can't just rush into the score zone", which has lost its meaning through time.
Coach Z wears a blue and purple baseball cap and a large gold Z emblem around his waist. Nobody knows for sure whether his bright green color is his skin or a body suit. However, baby Coach Z seems to be wearing footy pajamas in the email highschool, and on more than one occasion, Coach Z has mentioned his pants. In shapeshifter, Coach Z referred to his outfit as his "sweaty sweat-sweats", which was seen to have at least one pocket, and in Fan Costumes 2017 he is implied to have undressed. His head is a white sphere with light gray circles for eyes. Coach Z lacks a visible nose and mouth, but is able to talk, eat, and spit with ease. He has long arms and large feet, but very short legs.
As Coach Z himself is not afraid to admit, he's got more than two problems. Despite being a coach, he doesn't know what a basketball is, as indicated in secret recipes. It has been strongly implied that he has a crush on Marzipan, and he has occasionally made inappropriate comments about her; one occasion on her answering machine when he was drunk, and another during the commercial break of the 4Tst annual Fall Float Parade. In diorama, Coach Z even refers to Marzipan as his "gorgeous girlfriend". He also has difficulty pronouncing certain words, such as "job" (as shown in the "A Jorb Well Done" cartoon), instead pronouncing it as "jorb", "jaerb", or "jorearb". In addition to his frequent mispronunciations, Coach Z also seems to have mental and gender confusion problems, as evidenced by the time he spent "talking to his parents" on a disconnected telephone, and claiming to be a mother in garage sale. He has even stated on one occasion that he sometimes "forgets what's real, and what's just in [his] head". He has an apparent fixation with butts, and he seems to have a habit of butt-patting. He also has a slight obsession with ointments and body creams, like using 'Blue Star Ointment' to scare people in Halloween Fairstival. Many characters see him as a nuisance. Even Homestar treated Coach Z with contempt in Decemberween Short Shorts, quickly refusing to allow Coach Z to come to his house for Decemberween.
When not working as a coach, Coach Z works with Homestar Runner and Bubs as the apparent local law enforcement in Free Country, USA. Coach Z is also the janitor at the office where Homestar and Strong Bad work. He is paid on hourly wage and is clearly jealous that Strong Bad is paid on salary. He has also spent time dressed as the Blubb-O's Drive-Thru Whale mascot. Coach Z owns four Tony awards, suggesting that he may have a background in theatre. Despite his numerous jobs, Coach Z has trouble managing his money, causing his electricity to be shut off each year.
Coach Z is a fan of hip-hop and rap music, particularly the Wu-Tang Clan. He fancies himself a rapper as well: He released the single "These Peoples Try to Fade Me", which appeared on Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits, his solo album, entitled "The Z Is All Up Ins", features the smash hit "Hip Hop Dance", and his own rap song, "Rap Song" (featuring Peacey P and Tenerence Love). Although his usual rapping prowess consists mainly of "count[ing] to two over and over again", as explained in nightlife, he once had a very successful career during his days in the Two-o Duo. Recent works such as "Loading Screens" and "Fish Eye Lens" may indicate that his rap skills are starting to improve.
Coach Z's age is ambiguous, as he appears to be grown up when Strong Bad was a kid in the email stand-up as well as appearing as an adult in 1974 in the 'toon Decemberween short shorts while they both appeared to be babies in the email highschool (although this may simply be a product of Strong Bad's "doodle memory"). He is likely to be one of the older characters, since in caffeine, Strong Sad's slaps provoke him to cry out "I'm just an old man!"; in slumber party, Strong Bad refers to him, Bubs, and The King of Town as "older kids"; and while narrating an interaction between Coach Z and Bubs in narrator, Strong Bad labels them both as "weird old men".
Coach Z and Bubs had a falling out at one point, as Fall Float Parade shows us; Bubs makes a "Coach Z, you jerk!" float for the parade, and Coach Z retaliates by saying "Serves him right, then" when Strong Mad steals his concession stand. In the email narrator, it was shown that they had made-up and returned to having boring conversations about Bubs's napkins. However, in Most In The Graveyard, when it is implied that Coach Z fancies Bubs' sister, Bubs beats him up. In the same toon, it is also revealed that Coach Z and Bubs may actually be very distant cousins, although Bubs finds this hard to believe.
- Domicile: Coach Z's Locker Room
- Debut: "Where My Hat Is At?"
- Complete Filmography
 Coach Z's emblem |
 Youthful days |
 Hatless |
 His emblem, squished / skewed / turned all around (from redesign) |
 "The 74s was the prime of my datin' year!" |
Character Video Transcript
- See main article: Coach Z's Character Video
COACH Z: {looking slightly offscreen} Is that thing on? {turns to the camera lens} Hey there, ho there! I'm the Coach! The Coach Z, I'd guess you'd call me. Or plain old Coach is fine, seein' as I'm the only one around, so, probably no one else would answer to that. You say "Hey Coach!", and I'd say "Yeah?" or... "That's me!" or... "Hoo-hah!" {waves his arms in the air} Any one of those. There's rumors flyin' around that I sleep in one of these lockers, {gestures to the lockers behind him} but uh, that's just not true. I usually crash on this bench here. {gestures to the bench behind him} My back's not in real good condition. {rubs his back} And now, I'd like to perform my hip-hop single, "These peoples try to fade me". {holds up a microphone, begins to sing} A one-two, a one-two—!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {appears in front of camera} Sorry. We're all out of tape.
Coach Z's Accent
The primary factor in his hilarity, Coach Z's Upper Midwestern accent has made him into a very quotable character.
Sounds Affected
The most commonly mispronounced sounds are long e (e.g. The Cheat) and the short o (job), which both come out as an "or" or "aer" ("The Chort", "jaerb"), although in a few toons such as 3 Times Halloween Funjob, he's shown to purposely do it.
List of mispronounced words
Inconsistencies
Evidence has suggested that Coach Z's accent may be bogus:
- After saying "track or trort" in 3 Times Halloween Funjob, Bubs gets on his case and he says "trick or treat" correctly. If given "Swedish Fish", said as "Swordish Forsh", Bubs gets on his case again and Coach Z says "It's a crowd-pleaser."
- In boring (really), while Strong Bad is writing his list of three-letter words, Coach Z interrupts him at the word "job", saying that "jorb is a four letters word."
- Coach Z says "The Cheat" immediately after "The Chort" in mascot, though he speaks as though he's talking about two different people. He also refers to "Cheat kickers" just before suggesting to "kick The Chort" in Baddest of the Bands.
- In the DVD commentary for part-time job, Mike exploits Coach Z's "accent" by implying that not only does Coach Z add the letter R to words, but now also likes to switch letters around sometimes, and in reply Coach Z partially admits to his accent being bogus.
- In cliffhangers, in the process of his attempted unmasking of The Thnikkaman, he says "secret sorcret" twice, referring to Thnikkaman's secret being revealed and his shame in having really bad hand-eye coordination.
- While playing Renaldo in Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective, he pronounces "off" both correctly and incorrectly in the same sentence.
- In Loading Screens, Coach Z's accent is much less pronounced than usual.
- In Fish Eye Lens, Coach Z tells Strong Bad "the people" need him. Strong Bad questions him, and he amends to say "the pyorple".
This is inconsistent with the clear despair it causes him in A Jorb Well Done, though it is possible that he's truly gained control over his accent after the mentioned toon, and he just keeps it around for the aesthetic.
Featured in
Coach Z's "more than two problems"
- Main article: Coach Z's Problems
Discography
- These Peoples Try To Fade Me (2003)
- Hip Hop Dance
- Coach Z Gets Noice
- Rap Song featuring Peacey P and Tenerence Love (2007)
- Loading Screens with Strong Bad and Homestar Runner
- Fish Eye Lens
- The Wraparound
Fun Facts
- Coach Z's accent came from a depressing Midwestern voice that Matt and some friends would do in college.
- It was revealed in issue #21 of Wonkavision magazine that Coach Z is named after Craig Zobel.
- According to trading cards, Coach Z gave 23 butt pats in 1984 (22 to Homestar, 1 to himself).
- Coach Z was originally known as "Coach Zee".
- Strong Bad referred to Coach Z as "Green Bubs" in the email road trip.
- In Date Nite he is shown without his hat and wearing hair curlers, despite a lack of visible hair.
- On Coach Z's emblem, the darker blue shine streak under the gold Z makes a backwards Z formation.
- According to the Old Characters Page, Coach Z wasn't much of a coach at the time, and he just added the title because it sounded "cooler than just Z". He has been seen coaching on numerous occasions since then, though his talent at it is still dubious at best.
- Coach Z is given a new display of angry eyes, as shown in Kick-A-Ball and hremail3184.
Relationships
- Main article: Character Relationships
- Bubs and Coach Z's Relationship
- Strong Bad and Coach Z's Relationship
- Marzipan and Coach Z's Relationship
- Homestar Runner and Coach Z's Relationship
- Strong Sad and Coach Z's Relationship
- Strong Mad and Coach Z's Relationship
- Coach Z and The Cheat's Relationship
Variations
- Fort Wayne Locomotive (Old-Timey)
- 20X6 Coach Z (20X6)
- Renaldo (Dangeresque)
- Coach B or Zubs
- Coach Zed
- Damp Towel Man
- Zoach C (Xeriouxly Forxe)
- Character 3 (Yonder Website)
Halloween Costumes
In each Homestar Runner Halloween special, Coach Z has dressed up as something rap or hip-hop-related, or in the case of Theo Huxtable, something he believes to be hip-hop related. (The Noid and Doug McKenzie costumes were not released.)
- Flavor Flav (of Public Enemy) in Homestarloween Party
- Humpty Hump (of Digital Underground) in The House That Gave Sucky Treats
- Kid (of Kid and Play) in Pumpkin Carve-nival
- Kool Moe Dee (of The Treacherous Three) in 3 Times Halloween Funjob
- Tupac in Halloween Fairstival
- Theo Huxtable (from The Cosby Show) in Halloween Potion-ma-jig
- Queen Latifah in Happy Hallow-day
- So So Def Recordings Logo in Jibblies 2
- DJ Lance Rock (from Yo Gabba Gabba) in Most in the Graveyard
- MC Skat Kat in Doomy Tales of the Macabre
- Notebook Paper ("The Rapping Paper") in Which Ween Costumes?
- A Tribe Called Quest (their album cover mascot) in I Killed Pom Pom
- André 3000 (of Outkast) in The House That Gave Sucky Tricks
- Kwamé in Later That Night...
- PaRappa the Rapper in Haunted Photo Booth
- Missy Elliott (As her head, with Pom Pom as her inflatable suit) in Mr. Poofers Must Die
- The Fresh Prince's Mom in The Homestar Runner Enters the Spooky Woods
Quotes of the Week
| Coach Z's Quotes of the Week |
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See Also
External Links
| Main Characters |
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Homestar Runner | Strong Bad | The Cheat | Strong Mad | Strong Sad | Pom Pom | Marzipan | Coach Z | Bubs | The King of Town | The Poopsmith | Homsar |
