bottom 10

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Keep on hugging it!

Strong Bad Email #133

Strong Bad tells us his "bottom 10."

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Horrible Painting, Marshie, Nibbles, The Cheat, Homestar Runner, Limozeen

Places: Computer Room, Strong Badia, Strong Mad's Room, The Field

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: July 11, 2005



STRONG BAD: {singing} This email is making fun of you.

Oh man, this person made all kinds of typos. They forgot this, they forgot this, {changes "Weak Bad" to "Strong Bad the good dancer"}, they got this wrong. {changes "Someone stronger than you" to "Someone who is a girl" (with the phrase "a girl" italicized and in a pinkish color).}

Oh, Simone! You seem like a really {in the pink color} nice girl, so I'll answer your question relatively {again in the pink color} free of charge. "Strong Bad's Bottom 10" is as follows:

{cut to Strong Badia. The "Strong Bad's Bottom 10" Logo flies in from the top of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: Number 10 is easy. Dry T-Shirt Contests. {a Dry T-Shirt contest flyer flies in from the top.} You'll never find a more degrading contest or a larger waste of not water. {the flyer flies away} Creeping in at Numbah 9 is that horrible painting in Strong Mad's Closet that's been in there since we were little. {dramatic music starts playing, and we cut to the door of Strong Mad's closet. Strong Bad is there, sliding the door open slowly.}

HORRIBLE PAINTING: {meanacing, under its breath} Come on in here.

{Strong Bad screams and slams the door. He begins flailing around, uttering "jibblies" over and over, almost incoherently. Cut back to Strong Badia.}

STRONG BAD: Incidentally, the jibblies currently occupy Slot #11 on my bottom 10. Numbah 8 is the one you should all pay close attention to: Emails with more than one "Fwd:" or "Re:" in the Subject line.

{Cut to the computer room. Strong Bad is preparing to answer an email.}

STRONG BAD: Back out of my way, so I can check some email.

{Strong Bad presses enter, and the email appears. However, the subject line fills up most of the screen and scrolls down for a good 15 seconds.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, great. Let me guess. "It's true! You saw it on the news!" Or, "Hey, sounds crazy, but thought it was worth a shot!"

{Cut back to the Field.}

STRONG BAD: Yeah, a shot in the face, maybe. Now, seven is something that's been going on for way too long. Miniaturized versions of already bite-sized food.

{An ad for Fluffy Puff Marshmallows appears.}

MARSHIE: Yowza! Guess who birfday it is! {a question mark appears} Mine! {the lights suddenly go out, and Marshie makes an odd face. A miniature Marshie walks onto the screen, with Homsar's movement noise.}

MINI-MARSHIE: Sorry, Marshie, but it's my birthday. I'm one years old. My name is Nibbles, for new Fluffy Puff Marshmallows bite size-

ANNOUNCER: All-new Fluffy Puff Bite-Size Nibblers are perfect for new-born type babies, and scalding hot chocolate. No more mouth strain with Fluffy Puff Nibblers!.

NIBBLES: I make good ear-plugs too. {Marshie flies onto the screen.}

MARSHIE: Get out of here, you little runt! {the commercial suddenly pauses, and PAUSE appears on the bottom-left corner of the screen.

{Cut back to the field.}

STRONG BAD: And Numba 6-a: the Foul Stench of Wet The Cheat.

{Cut to The Field. The Cheat is standing there, soaked and shivering. Next to him, is a ladder, a cup, and a sign that says "HIGH DIVES - 5 bucks." Cut back to Strong Badia.}}'

STRONG BAD: And number 5, {music starts playing}, um... not pigeons. {a pigeon starts cooing.} They eat breadcrumbs. They craps on people. Funny stuff. NUMBER 4! There was this one time where I had to hug a tree.

{Cut to the field. Strong Bad and Homestar are there, and Strong Bad is hugging a tree.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Keep on huggin' it.

STRONG BAD: How did you get me to do this in the first place?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hug it! Hug it!

STRONG BAD: And why do I continue to do it?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Keep on huggin' it. Hug it down.

STRONG BAD: I don't even like this tree that much.

{Cut back to Strong Badia.}

STRONG BAD: Ooh, now we're getting to the good ones. Number 3 is the ridiculous trend of giving chocolate desserts dangerous names. You know, like, Chocolardiac Arrest. {a picture of Chocolardiac Arrest appears.}

WOMAN: Oh, that looks sinful.

STRONG BAD: Or... THIS BROWNIE MIGHT KILL YOU. {a picture of said brownie appears.}

WOMAN: Oh, this is so rich.

STRONG BAD: Or, quite possible the least appetizing name of all time... Chocozuma's Revenge! {a picture of Chocozuma's Revenge appears.}

WOMAN: This is all fat-free, right?

STRONG BAD: Shut up, lady! Sliding in at number two are songs that try to pass off la la's na na's and doot do's as legit lyrics. As evidenced in Limozeen's bizarrely titled "Feed The Childrens." {the album art of "Feed The Childrens" appears, and a clip of a track from it begins playing, consisting of na-na's, doot-do's, and la-la's. About 12 seconds into the clip, a record scratches, and the song stops.} Ugh, what were they thinking? More like, "We need to feed our children, so we made this terrible song." And, the Number 1 item on Strong Bad's Bottom 10 is Th-

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Strong Bad. {camera zooms out to a two-shot of Homestar and Strong Bad.} What about my bottom-

STRONG BAD: Nobody wants to hear your bottom 10, Homestar.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: No, no. Not my Bottom 10. My bottom! You know, {singing} butt-dance again, like the rhythm's on your pants now! {Homestar does a butt-dance, and Strong Bad begins to make vomiting noises. Cut to the Lappy, which has the Bottom 10 displayed, where he then vomits onto his keyboard.}

STRONG BAD: Oooh. Ugh. {weakly} And the number one item on Strong Bad's Bottom 10 is... Th {typing} cleaning up your own puke off the keyboard. {Strong Bad clears the screen.} Simone, that'll be $7.50. And bring some paper towels. Eww. And some tweezers. I think I see a Fluffy Puff Nibblin in there.

{The Paper comes down. After a few moments, Strong Bad continues:}

STRONG BAD: {weakly} No. There's no Easter eggs. I'm not up to it. Go away.

Fun Facts



  • When you click on the Lappy's screen, no circles come up.

Inside References

Real World References

  • Chocozuma's Revenge is a reference to Montezuma's Revenge, known today as travelers' illness. It was first coined during the Spanish conquest of the Aztecs in 1519–1520. The debilitating diarrhea that the conquistadors' troops suffered in the Central American jungles was attributed to the force of the deposed Aztec ruler, Montezuma. A ride at Knott's Berry Farm uses the same font as Chocozuma's for its "Montezuma's revenge" ride.
  • The way the Bottom Ten goes is just like how the Top Ten goes on The Late Show with David Letterman.

External Links

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