strong badathlon
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Strong Bad Email #165 |
|
The residents of Free Country, USA compete in the Strong Badathlon.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Poopsmith, The Cheat, Coach Z, Homsar, Marzipan, Homestar Runner, Strong Mad, The Robot (storybook), Strong Sad
Places: The Computer Room, Strong Badia, The Field, Strong Bad's Basement, Marzipan's Kitchen
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: January 29, 2007
Running Time: 3:39
Page Title: Lappy 486
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: I'm doin' a party, I'm makin' it happen, on Strong Bad Email.
subject: the cheatDear Strong bad,
For a long time i've been wondering... How far can you
throw the cheat? If you don't want to do that, could you
beat the crud out of homestar for no reason?
Lewis Rudkin
Essex, England.
{Strong Bad reads Essex as 'S X'}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Y'know, it's funny how this always seems to work out, Rudkin... {clears screen} but those just happen to be the first two events in the Strong Badathlon!
{cuts to Strong Badathlon logo}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Unfortunately, they also happen to be my worst two events. The Cheat Chuck is consistently dominated by the Kenyans. I mean the Poopsmith. Ever since he devised the Whatsitburied Slop
{As he says this, it cuts to the Poopsmith next to a pile of whatsit, and then continues to fling The Cheat out of the pile.}
STRONG BAD: That guys unbeatable!
THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises as he flies through the air}
COACH Z: Holy gorsh! It looks like a new record!
{Cuts to Homsar and Marzipan sitting at a table having tea}
MARZIPAN: And that's why I believe the DNA evidence had been tampered with.
{The Cheat flies onto the table, causing whatsit to fly all over the place.}
HOMSAR: Well hello chocolate cake!
{Cuts to results board of the Strong Badathlon}
STRONG BAD: {voice over} Greco-Roman Homestar Crud-Out-of-Beating is another event you'd think I'd be the best at. But the reigning champion seems to have intimate knowledge of Homestars weak points.
{As he speaks, it cuts to Homestar walking onto the screen a sweat band and outfit}
HOMESTAR: {punches himself in the stomach} Come on you little so and so. {slaps himself in the face, then punches himself in the stomach} Is that all you got? {punches himself in the side then the face} Oh yeah? Oh yeah? You think you got it like that? {punches himself 3 times} Whaddya think this is you little place mat? {gets hit once} A diaper show? {gets hit once more} Well it's not a diaper show. {gets hit again} I think it's pretty obvious.
STRONG BAD: {typing} Man, man, we should start putting those Homestar Vs. Homestar fights on pay-per-view. Instant classics! And speaking of pay-per-view,
{Cuts to Strong Bad sitting in the Basement, with a 'Remote Put' graphic in the upper left hand corner.}
STRONG BAD: {voice over} Next up is the Remote Put.
{Cuts to the t.v, with a 'Ready?' graphic on the screen.}
ANNOUNCER: {voice over, reading text that appears on screen} Cute little girl from sit-com sings patriotic song.
STRONG BAD: Ahhg, I fricken' hate that little kid! Why'd they ever bring her on the show! {throws remote} Ugh!
{Graphic comes on screen, accompanied with a buzzer noise, graphic reads 'DISQUALIFICATION! BATTERY FAULT!}
STRONG BAD: What? These games are fricken' fixed! Check the East Germans pants!
{Cuts to results screen}
STRONG BAD: {voice over} Our coverage of the 2007 Strong Badathlon continues with the Clean and Jerk... Strong Mad's Underwears... Over His Head. Fortunately, you don't really have to clean them.
{Cuts to Strong Bad and Coach Z standing behind Strong Mad, who's underwear is sticking out of his singlet, with a ruler against his back.}
STRONG BAD: Uhh, are you trying to tell me that this mad doesn't have a wedgie of illegal proportions?
COACH Z: Nope, that's the regulation starting point.
STRONG BAD: That's it, I'm boycotting these games.
STRONG MAD: {I can't get this line, maybe someone else can?}
{Cuts to results screen}
STRONG BAD: {voice over} And finally, my strongest event, {graphic appears, and adds new picture with each word} Probably Something with Guitars, lasers, Robots, and Hot Girls.
{Cuts to Powered By The Cheat cartoon of Strong Bad with laser arms, and robots walking in the background.}}
STRONG BAD: {laser noises, shoots robots} Hey, wait, look Iconic I got I won the Good medal.
{Cuts to a Powered By The Cheat version of The Cheat playing the guitar. The word 'Streisand' appears across the screen.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} And after all the medals have been given to the wrong athletes, we come to the ending closimonies, celebrating poor sportsmanship, drug testing, and good ol' fashioned people twirling ribbons.
{Cuts to Strong Sad and Marzipan twirling ribbons on a stage.}
STRONG SAD: {singing} Togetherness.
MARZIPAN: {singing} Togetherness.
MARZIPAN AND STRONG SAD: {singing} Encircling the World.
HOMESTAR: {singing and dancing} {I can't make this song out}
{Fireworks go off in the background, cuts to Strong Bad sitting at the Lappy.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} There you have it, Rudkin Shampoo. Someteen Days of Glory! And after the closimonies, most BadAthletes immediately begin filming product endorsements while their names are still fresh in our minds.
{Cuts to Strong Bad sitting in a kitchen with a box of cereal and a bowl.}
STRONG BAD: Woah, wipe my brow. Winning gold medals takes a lot of hard cereal, and dedication. That's why I eat {hold up box} Temporarios! The official cereal of athletes you won't remember in two weeks! {cuts to just the box} Temporarios, {speech bubble comes out of box} "Cause I'm Don't Get Paid!"
Easter Eggs
- Click on "Lewis Rudkin; Essex, England." to see a Videlectrix game based on his name.
- When Strong Bad says "Homestar vs. Homestar fights", click on "fights" to see a poster.
- Click on "Rudkin Shampoo" to see a bottle of Rudkin Shampoo.
Fun Facts
Goofs
- Strong Bad's arm disappears briefly when he wipes the sweat off his forehead.
Fixed Goofs
- The slogan for Temporarios cereal, "Cuz I'm don't get paid!" was missing the closing set of quotation marks (see right); this was quickly corrected.
Inside References
- Cableman Jorge was Strong Bad's alias in Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2.
- "Someteen days of glory!" is a reference to Teen Girl Squad Issue 10, where The Ugly One has a "Sweet Someteen Birthday".
- Strong Bad's endorsement of Temporarios breakfast cereal is a reference to his endorsement of Schenectady Crispies in labor day.
Real World References
- The song Homestar starts to sing during the "ending closimonies" is similar to the opening line to the song "Old Time Rock and Roll" by Bob Seger.
External Links
- watch "strong badathlon"
- watch "strong badathlon" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "strong badathlon"
- forum thread re: "strong badathlon"
