strong badathlon
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Strong Bad Email #165 |
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The residents of Free Country, USA compete in the Strong Badathlon.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Poopsmith, The Cheat, Coach Z, Homsar, Marzipan, Homestar Runner, Strong Mad, The Robot (storybook), Strong Sad
Places: The Computer Room, Strong Badia, The Field, Strong Bad's Basement, Marzipan's Kitchen
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: Monday, January 29, 2007
Running Time: 3:39
Page Title: Lappy 486
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing} I'm doin' a party, I'm makin' it happen, on Strong Bad Email.
subject: the cheatStrong bad,
For a long time i've been wondering... How far can you
throw the cheat? If you don't want to do that, could you
beat the crud out of homestar for no reason?
Lewis Rudkin
Essex, England.
{Strong Bad reads Essex as "S X"}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Y'know, it's funny how this always seems to work out, Rudkin... {clears screen} but those just happen to be the first two events in the Strong Badathlon!
{cuts to Strong Badathlon logo, slowly zooming in. Strong Badia is visible in the background. Trumpet music plays.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Unfortunately, they also happen to be my two worst events. The Cheat Chuck is consistently dominated by the Kenyans. I mean the Poopsmith. Ever since he devised the Whatsitburied Slop
{As he says this, it cuts to the Poopsmith next to a pile of whatsit, and then uses his shovel to fling a whatsit-covered The Cheat out of the pile.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} ...that guy's unbeatable!
{Cut to Coach Z standing next to the distance markers, watching The Cheat}
THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises as he flies through the air}
COACH Z: Holy gorsh! It looks like a new record!
{Cuts to Homsar and Marzipan sitting at a table having tea}
MARZIPAN: And that's why I believe the DNA evidence had been tampered with.
{The Cheat flies onto the table, causing whatsit to fly onto Marzipan's face and onto the camera, smearing it on the lens.}
MARZIPAN: Aah!
HOMSAR: Well, hello, chocolate cake!
{Cuts to results board of the Strong Badathlon}
- Results 2007 StrongBadathlon
- The Cheat Chuck
- The Poopsmith......211pts.
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Greco-Roman Homestar Crud-Out-of-Beating is another event you'd think I'd be the best at. But the reigning champion seems to have intimate knowledge of Homestar's weak points.
{As he speaks, it cuts to Homestar walking onto the screen with a sweat band and athletic outfit on.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {punches himself in the stomach} Come on you little so and so. {slaps himself in the face, then punches himself in the stomach} Is that all you got? {punches himself in the side, then the face} Oh yeah? Oh yeah? You think you got it like that? {punches himself 3 times} Whaddya think this is, you little placemat? {gets hit in face once} A diaper show? {gets hit in stomach once more} It's not a diaper show. {gets hit in stomach again} I think that's pretty obvious.
STRONG BAD: {typing} Man, man, we should start putting those Homestar Vs. Homestar fights on pay-per-view. Instant classics! And speaking of pay-per-view,
{Cuts to Strong Bad sitting in the Basement, with a "Remote Put" graphic in the upper left hand corner.}
STRONG BAD: {voice over} Next up is the Remote Put.
{Cuts to the TV with a "Ready?" graphic on the screen.}
ANNOUNCER: {voice over, reading text that appears on screen} Cute little girl from sit-com sings patriotic song.
STRONG BAD: Dargh, I freakin' hate that little kid! Why'd they ever bring her on the show?! {throws remote} Agh!
{The remote hits the wall, breaking in two, causing the batteries to fly out. Graphic comes on screen, accompanied with a buzzer noise, graphic reads "DISQUALIFICATION! BATTERY FAULT!"}
STRONG BAD: What? These games are fixed! Check the East German's pants! Check the--
{Cuts through static to results screen}
- Results 2007 StrongBadathlon
- The Cheat Chuck
- The Poopsmith......211pts.
- Greco-Roman Homestar Crud-Out-of-Beating
- Homestar Runner....319pts.
- Remote Put
- Cherry Greg........11pts.
STRONG BAD: {voice over} Our coverage of the 2007 Strong Badathlon continues with the Clean and Jerk... Strong Mad's Underwears... Over His Head. Fortunately, you don't really have to clean them.
{Cuts to Strong Bad and Coach Z standing behind Strong Mad, whose underwear is sticking out of his singlet, with a ruler against his back.}
STRONG BAD: Uhh, are you trying to tell me that this man doesn't already have a wedgie of illegal proportions?
COACH Z: Nope, that's the reggalation starting point.
STRONG BAD: That's it, I'm boycotting these games.
STRONG MAD: THANK THE LORD!!
{Cuts to results screen}
- Results 2007 StrongBadathlon
- The Cheat Chuck
- The Poopsmith......211pts.
- Greco-Roman Homestar Crud-Out-of-Beating
- Homestar Runner....319pts.
- Remote Put
- Cherry Greg........11pts.
- Clean and Jerk Strong Mad's Underwears Over His Head
- Pom Pom............6 billion pts
STRONG BAD: {voice over} And finally, my strongest event, {graphic appears, and adds new picture with each word} Probably Something with Guitars, lasers, Robots, and Hot Girls.
{Cut to Powered By The Cheat cartoon. A version of the Strong Badathlon logo morphs into a cloud at the top right corner as Strong Bad, with laser arms, fires at robots walking in the background. A woman with a green-and-white striped shirt walks by; when she walks past Strong Bad, he can be seen through the green stripes.}
PbTC STRONG BAD: {laser noises, shoots robots} Hey, wait, look Laconic, I got- I won the Good medal.
{With one laser-hand, he holds up a "Good medal". Cut to a Powered By The Cheat version of The Cheat playing the guitar. The word "Streisand" appears across the screen (going off the right side of it) as someone says it.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} And after all the medals have been given to the wrong athletes, we come to the ending closimonies, celebrating poor sportsmanship, drug testing, and good ol' fashioned people twirling ribbons.
{Cuts to Strong Sad and Marzipan twirling ribbons on a stage.}
STRONG SAD: {singing} Togetherness.
MARZIPAN: {singing} Togetherness.
MARZIPAN AND STRONG SAD: {singing} Encircling the World.
{Homestar, with a white show suit over his shirt, jumps down and knocks Strong Sad and Marzipan off the stage.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing and dancing with his legs rapidly moving} Just take those old glasses off the shelf...
{Fireworks go off in the background, then a cut to Strong Bad sitting at the Lappy.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} There you have it, Rudkin Shampoo. Someteen Days of Glory! And after the closimonies, most BadAthletes immediately begin filming product endorsements while their names are still fresh in our minds.
{Cuts to Strong Bad sitting in a kitchen with a box of cereal and a bowl.}
STRONG BAD: Whoa, wipe my brow. {he swipes sweat off his face} Winning gold medals {he holds up one} takes a lot of hard cereal, and dedication. That's why I eat {hold up box} Temporarios! The official cereal of athletes you won't remember in two weeks! {cuts to a shot of the box and bowl of cereal with two gold medals hanging off the side of it} Temporarios, {speech bubble comes out of box} "Cause I'm Don't Get Paid!"
{The Paper comes down.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on "Lewis Rudkin; Essex, England." after Strong Bad says Lewis to see a Videlectrix game based on his name, Lewis Rudkin SX: england.
- When Strong Bad says "Homestar vs. Homestar fights", click on "fights" to see a poster.
- Click on "Rudkin Shampoo" to see a bottle of Rudkin Shampoo.
- RUDKIN
- WITH GREEN TEA
- AND CLOSIMONY
- "So fancy, there's no opening!"
Fun Facts
Explanations
- "Athlon" in "strong badathlon" means "contest" in Greek (αθλον), and is found in the names of such events as the biathlon, triathlon, pentathlon, heptathlon, and decathlon.
- East Germany, or the German Democratic Republic, was a Communist state that existed prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall and dominated several Olympic events, in part because of their athletes' prolific use of steroids.
- Olympic athletes often rely on product endorsements for income due to Olympic amateurism regulations.
- Kenyan athletes are noted for dominating the sport of distance running.
- The "clean and jerk" is a part of weightlifting.
- Though the next Summer Olympics aren't until 2008, many Olympic-style competitions had been held around the time this email came out.
Trivia
- Before The Paper comes down, you can see the words "Side Words" on the side of the Temporarios box.
- This is also visible when Strong Bad first holds up the box.
- This is the first occurence of DNA evidence.
Remarks
- The Poopsmith being entrant Number 2 is a euphemism of Whatsit.
- The audience for the ending closimonies consists of (from left to right) Homsar, The Poopsmith, The Cheat, and Strong Bad, silhouetted in the foreground.
- Coach Z says "record" in the sentence, "Holy gorsh! It looks like a new record!" without his normal accent.
Goofs
- Strong Bad's arm disappears briefly when he wipes the sweat off his forehead.
- There's a white spot on the "O" in the "don't" during the product endorsement.
- In the Greco-Roman Homestar Crud-out-of-Beating event, Homestar's athletic pants and upper body (except the head) face the same direction at all times, but his legs face toward the viewer. They only match each other when Homestar first walks in and when he is knocked into the air.
Fixed Goofs
- The slogan for Temporarios cereal, "Cuz I'm don't get paid!" was originally missing the closing set of quotation marks (see right); this was quickly corrected.
Inside References
- Cableman Jorge was Strong Bad's alias in Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2.
- "Someteen days of glory!" is a reference to Teen Girl Squad Issue 10, where The Ugly One has a "Sweet Someteen Birthday".
- Guitars and lasers is possibly a reference to new hands, where, near the end, Strong Bad laments not having chosen guitars and laser guns as possible prosthetics.
- Additionally, the lasers replacing Strong Bad's hands are the same style as the laser that replaces one of his hands in an Easter egg in the same email.
- Cherry Greg wins the Remote Put with 11 points.
- The "GOOD" medal references the "GOOD" ribbon awarded in Pumpkin Carve-nival.
- Temporarios is another instance of invented breakfast cereal.
- The music for the commercial at the end is the same as the Schenectady Crispies spot in labor day.
- After Strong Bad gets disqualified from "The Remote Put," he yells "Check the East German's pants, Check the-".
Real-World References
- The song Homestar starts to sing during the "ending closimonies" is sung to the tune of the song "Old Time Rock and Roll" by Bob Seger. He replaces the word "glasses" for "records" in the song, referencing a commercial from the 1980s for the Hardee's fast food franchise's collectible set of Alvin and the Chipmunks glasses. The song lyrics were changed in this commercial (and sung by The Chipmunks) to "Just take those old glasses off the shelf / Get down to Hardees and help yourself / Those other glasses ain't got the same class / I want an Alvin and the Chipmunks glass".
- "Rudkin Shampoo" is a reference to the actual brand Redken Shampoo.
- Homestar fighting himself is possibly inspired by the Monty Python sketch, Colin "Bomber" Harris vs Colin "Bomber" Harris.
- "Streisand", from the Powered by The Cheat segment, most likely refers to the famous actress/singer Barbra Streisand.
- The half-circles and circle on the corner of the Strong Badathlon logo resemble those of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation logo.
- Obviously the entire email is a reference to the Olympics.
- "Someteen days of glory!" is also a reference to a 1985 documentary covering the 1984 Summer Olympics, Sixteen Days Of Glory
- Strong Bad's claim that he is going to boycott the games is most likely a reference to the U.S. led boycott of the 1980 Moscow Olympics, which included 64 other nations and was prompted by the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. This action was subsequently repeated by the USSR and 14 of their Eastern Bloc partners at the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics claiming that the safety of their athletes could not be guaranteed.
- Temporarios are a parody of Team Cheerios, a variation of Cheerios that was available very briefly around the time of the 1996 Summer Olympics. They also resemble Froot Loops and translate literally into Spanish as "The temporary ones."
- The Whatsitburied Slop is a reference to the Fosbury Flop, a technique used in high jumping.
- The "Greco-Roman Homestar Crud-Out-of-Beating" event takes its name from Greco-Roman wrestling, one of the three styles of wrestling contested in the Olympic Games.
Fast Forward
- The DNA scene would be revisited in the big toon DNA Evidence.
External Links
- watch "strong badathlon"
- watch "strong badathlon" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "strong badathlon"
- forum thread re: "strong badathlon"
