Homestar Ruiner Responses (The Track)
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== Locker Room == | == Locker Room == | ||
=== Trohpy Case === | === Trohpy Case === | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' That's Coach Z's trophy case, where all sorts of frightening and obscure achievements are celebrated. | ||
| + | === Showers === | ||
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Those are Coach Z's gym showers, a.k.a. Home of a Thousand and One Humiliations. | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Those are Coach Z's gym showers, a.k.a. Home of a Thousand and One Humiliations. | ||
:{{short hr}} | :{{short hr}} | ||
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Personally, I'm more of a bubble bath kinda guy. A few scented candles, a glass of Chateau Boulanche, a luffa glove— sorry, kinda lost myself for a second there. | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Personally, I'm more of a bubble bath kinda guy. A few scented candles, a glass of Chateau Boulanche, a luffa glove— sorry, kinda lost myself for a second there. | ||
| - | |||
| - | |||
=== Pom Pom's Locker → Pom Pom's Bag === | === Pom Pom's Locker → Pom Pom's Bag === | ||
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Let's see: full-length mirror, stunner shades, three-thousand dollar velvet training bag— yup, this must be Pom Pom's locker, all right. | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Let's see: full-length mirror, stunner shades, three-thousand dollar velvet training bag— yup, this must be Pom Pom's locker, all right. | ||
| Line 219: | Line 219: | ||
:{{short hr}} | :{{short hr}} | ||
:'''STRONG:''' Coach Z keeps his office locked while he's out on the track. | :'''STRONG:''' Coach Z keeps his office locked while he's out on the track. | ||
| + | |||
== Map == | == Map == | ||
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I've got half a mind to go over to Marzipan's and give her a piece of the rest of my mind about not inviting me to her sucko party! But where should I put her house on my map? | :'''STRONG BAD:''' I've got half a mind to go over to Marzipan's and give her a piece of the rest of my mind about not inviting me to her sucko party! But where should I put her house on my map? | ||
Revision as of 15:17, 16 August 2008
Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from The Track in Homestar Ruiner.
On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.
A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.
Contents |
Homestar Runner
When Strong Bad walks near
- Outside the locker room
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: 32... 33... 12... 97... 6...
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Do do-do do dooo dooo, do do-do do dooo dooo...
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: A one potato, two potato, three potato, four.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: I must, I must, I must improve my bust.
- Inside the locker room
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: No whammies... no whammies... no whammies...
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Clamblueocean... clamblueocean... clamblueocean...
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: #&%@!
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Rubberbabybuggybumpers... Rubberbabybuggybumpers...
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ohwattagoosiam.. Ohwattagoosiam...
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Booooonk!
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Look at me! Don't look at me! Look at me now!
Homestar Runner
- Outside the locker room
- {first time}
- STRONG BAD: All right Homestar, I'm not sure why this never occurred to me before, but some French guy said that I should beat you up, and I tend to think he's right! Put up your dukes!
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello Strong Bad. Are you here to watch the race?
- {each time thereafter}
- STRONG BAD: Okay, I'm back. Let the pummeling commence!
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: No time for pummelling, old chum! I've got to get ready for the race!
Homestar Runner → Race
- {first time}
- STRONG BAD: A race? You mean like a race-race, race race race?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: You haven't heard about the Free Country USA Triannual Race to the End of the Race? It's only the coolest and most important sporting event in the history of sporting events I'm about to compete in ever!
- STRONG BAD: A race, eh? You know, beating you in a race would be almost as much fun as beating you senseless!
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'd like to see you try, Strong Bad. I've been training my twees off for weeks now, and besides, Marzipan has promised me a big victory party after I win.
- {second time}
- STRONG BAD: Y'know I bet I could win this race!
- HOMESTAR: That's cute. Keep dreamin', tiny legs.
- Inside the locker room
- STRONG BAD: Ready for the big Race to the Whatever?
- HOMESTAR: Almost... I'm warmed up, showered, and plucked my eyebrows. Now I'm just going through my pre-race psyche-em-ups!
- STRONG BAD: Are you ready to race yet?
- HOMESTAR: I'm not fully psyched yet. A little bit amped. Mebbe 50% riveted, but not yet quite psyched.
- STRONG BAD: {gets very close to Homestar and waves his arms} Is this bothering you? I'm not touching you. Is this bothering you?
- HOMESTAR: Head in the game... stay focused, stay electric... believe the cheese!
Homestar Runner → Party
- Outside the locker room
- {not available until after speaking about the race}
- STRONG BAD: Did someone say pwaughty?
- HOMESTAR: Oh, hecks yeah. Marzipan's putting together a huge party with floats and cake jugglers and balloonmanimals and—
- STRONG BAD: And why was I, Lord High Awesomeparty, occasionally known as Strong Bad, not invited?
- HOMESTAR: Whisperingly, I don't think Marzipan likes you very much.
- STRONG BAD: C'mon, that party will be deader than a million door nails without me.
- HOMESTAR: I'll see if I can get you on the list.
- Inside the locker room
- STRONG BAD: Not that I care, but how are the plans for your stupid moron party coming?
- HOMESTAR: I bo know ... but it's been at least 2 minutes since Marzipan called me, so I assume it's going great.
Homestar Runner → Snake Boxer
- Outside the locker room
- STRONG BAD: You wouldn't happen to know what happened to my Snake Boxer 5 manual, wouldja?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: I borrowed some of it from Strong Sad to read on the train. And by train I mean toilet.
- STRONG BAD: Gross!
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: But then I gave it to Marzipan for some papier machapier project she's working on! {-ier is pronounced as in french}
- STRONG BAD: Grosser!
Homestar Runner → Cancel
- Outside the locker room
- {before discussing the race}
- STRONG BAD: Don't go nowheres, I'll be back to throttle you any minute.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {panting} Can't— talk— must— train—
- {after discussing the race}
- STRONG BAD: All this race talk has intrigued me... I believe I will postpone your pummeling... for now.
- HOMESTAR: Pummeling? {phone rings} Hold on, I gotta take this...
- HOMESTAR: MYes, Marzipan? Yes? Yes. Yes. Yes? Noooooo! Yes. Yes! I miss you too, puddin sack. See you after the race. Bye.
- STRONG BAD: Girlfriend troubles?
- HOMESTAR: Not me, bro. Marzipan just wanted my opinion on the decorations... and the cake jugglers... and the plight of the loadland toadweasel... and the, the... {frustrated noises} {Homestar kicks the phone across the track}}
- HOMESTAR: Pardon me. I'm off to the locker room to re-aquire my game face. {Homestar leaves}
- Inside the locker room
- STRONG BAD: This place gives me the jibblies. See ya.
- HOMESTAR: Fight or flight, big champ. No turning back! You made the sandwich, now step in it!
- STRONG BAD: You stay here. I'll, um, be somewhere else.
- HOMESTAR: Keep striving! Don't delay your dream! Work from home! Earn extra cash!
Homestar Runner → Shower
- Inside the locker room
- STRONG BAD: I know exactly how to tell you this man, but you reek.
- HOMESTAR: Really? I just took a power shower a few minutes ago. Let me check. {checks} Nope, I'm fresh as a biscuit. Sounds like one of those smelt/dealt situations to me.
- STRONG BAD: {pleadingly}I really think you should take a shower.
- HOMESTAR: And I really think you're creepily obsessed with my personal hygiene.
Coach Z
When Strong Bad walks near
- COACH Z: I don't have time for your shenanigans, Strong Bad!
- COACH Z: I wonder if I should use a splashguard for this shot?
- COACH Z: You're crowded my F-stop there Srong Bad!
- COACH Z: If that turtle doesn't keep running away, I'm gonna have ta put him down!
- COACH Z: Stupid kids always fiddling with my dingy dang camera.
- COACH Z: Gorsh, I couldn't have ordered a better day for a race!
Coach Z
- STRONG BAD: Coach Z, what's the....
- COACH Z: No time for jibbers or jabbers right now, Strong Bad! I've got to make sure this race goes off without a hitch!
Coach Z → Race (first time)
- STRONG BAD: Tell me more about this race of which you speak.
- COACH Z: Haven't you heard? It's time for the {fanfare} Free Country USA Triannual Race to the End of the Race!
- STRONG BAD: Habala what now?
- COACH Z: You know, the F-C-U-T-R-E-R ! Every three years, the greatest athletes in the world gather to pit thier pits against the most grueling obstacle course devised by man or beast, all in the hopes of winning the coveted {fanfare} Free Country USA Triannual Race to the End of the Race Silver Trophy of Ultimate Destiny!
- STRONG BAD: You mean the F-C-U-T-R-E-R-S-T-U-D ?
- COACH Z: The fuhcootrestud! Exactly!
Coach Z → Race (second time)
- STRONG BAD: So all a guy has to do is win a stupid race to get that really kick awesome trophy?
- COACH Z: Not even close. In order to prove themselves worthy of {speaking very quickly} the Free Country USA Triannual Race to the End of the Race Silver Trophy of Ultimate Destiny Da-da-da-daa, {fanfare} you gotta beat the best time of all the previous trophy winners.
- STRONG BAD: Well that sucks. What's the best time?
- COACH Z: As it just so happens, yours truly got the best time way back in 1999. Check it out. {cut to scoreboard}
Coach Z → Race (third time)
- STRONG BAD: Okay, so if a guy beats your time, and everyone else's time, then he gets the trophy, right?
- COACH Z: You'd thinks so, wouldn't ya? But no! After the times have been posted, I have to send a recording of the race to the Official Review Committee in Stockholm for verification. Then, and only then, is a new Free Country yaddah yaddah yaddah {fanfare} champion crowned.
- STRONG BAD: Swedes. I hate those guys.
Coach Z → Race (fourth time)
- STRONG BAD: Just to summarize for all the kids playing at home, all a guy's got to do to win that trophy is: A) Win the race.
- COACH Z: Check.
- STRONG BAD: 2) Beat your time.
- COACH Z: Yep.
- STRONG BAD: And Z) {quickly} Wait for you to send in the video of the race so the results can be officially sanctioned by a bunch of meatball loving Swedes.
- COACH Z: You got it.
Coach Z → Strong Bad
- {not available until after Homestar leaves}
Trackside
Treasure Marker
- STRONG BAD: I wonder what kind of horrible, disturbing secrets Coach Z's got buried under here?
Speaker
- STRONG BAD: {left speaker only} Hey, I think there's something wedged up in Coach Z's no-fi speakers. Or maybe it's a sunspot.
- STRONG BAD: All the muffling in the world won't make those speakers sound any better.
Stands
- STRONG BAD: These stands are emptier than a Stryper Concert.
- STRONG BAD: I wonder if these stands will magically fill up by the time the race starts.
Cell Phone
- {not available until Homestar leaves}
- STRONG BAD: {Strong Bad picks up the phone} Homestar's cell phone is finally mine! Now I can — change all his speed dials? Mwah-hah-haaah? '
Scoreboard
- {Before racing}
- STRONG BAD: Hmm, looks like Coach Z's got the time to beat.
Camera
- COACH Z: Hey, don't mess with that camera! It's a sensitive instrument!
- COACH Z: Stop fiddling with that jangle!
Microphone
- COACH Z: Hey! Don't go messin' with my booming system.
Hedge
- STRONG BAD: Wow, who would have thought that Coach Z of all people would have really depressing shrubs.
Trophy
- STRONG BAD: That's one cretaceously big trophy.
- COACH Z: It dang well should be. That's the Silver Trophy of Ultimate Destiny, {fanfare} awarded to the winner of the Free Country USA Triannual Race to the End of the Race!
- STRONG BAD: Of course it is.
- STRONG BAD: I'd just take the trophy, but it appears to be held down by, um, gravity.
Track
Water
- STRONG BAD: That's a big ol' tub of H2O, just like momma used to make.
Pogo Stick
- COACH Z: Hey, don't be fiddlin' with that pogoliaci stick!
Heavy Lourde
- STRONG BAD: Hey Coach Z! What's this heavy lourde for?
- COACH Z: That's for the second leg of the RAce to the End of the Race: {fanfare} The Pogo-Stick-While-Carrying-A-Heavy-Lourde leg!
- STRONG BAD: Ah yes, of course. How silly of me.
- STRONG BAD: Bot, that looks heavy&mdash of course, that could just be because it says "heavy" on it.A
- COACH Z: No, it's really heavy all right.
- STRONG BAD: Oh.
Turtle
- COACH Z: Don't touch that turtle!
Curdled Milk
- COACH Z: Don't touch that curdle— ed milk!
Hurdle
- COACH Z: Don't touch that hurdle!
Locker Room
Trohpy Case
- STRONG BAD: That's Coach Z's trophy case, where all sorts of frightening and obscure achievements are celebrated.
Showers
- STRONG BAD: Those are Coach Z's gym showers, a.k.a. Home of a Thousand and One Humiliations.
- STRONG BAD: Personally, I'm more of a bubble bath kinda guy. A few scented candles, a glass of Chateau Boulanche, a luffa glove— sorry, kinda lost myself for a second there.
Pom Pom's Locker → Pom Pom's Bag
- STRONG BAD: Let's see: full-length mirror, stunner shades, three-thousand dollar velvet training bag— yup, this must be Pom Pom's locker, all right.
- STRONG BAD: Even Pom Pom's locker is a bachelor pad! I think there's even a hot tub in here somewhere.
- STRONG BAD: Jeez, even Pom Pom's exercise bag has rims.
- STRONG BAD: I'd take the bag, but Pom Pom's probably got it all lowjacked up.
Homestar Runner's Locker
Strong Mad's Locker → Strong Mad's Lunchbox
- STRONG BAD: Looks like Strong Mad forgot his Limozeen: But They're In Space lunchbox again.
- STRONG BAD: Normally I take everything that's not bolted down, but the last time I came between Strong Mad and his lunch he put my uvula in a sleeper hold.
Coach Z's Door
- STRONG BAD: Even if it weren't locked, I'd rather not go into Coach Z's office, or the Temple of Butt-Pattery, as it's come to be known.
- STRONG: Coach Z keeps his office locked while he's out on the track.
Map
- STRONG BAD: I've got half a mind to go over to Marzipan's and give her a piece of the rest of my mind about not inviting me to her sucko party! But where should I put her house on my map?
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