Baddest of the Bands Responses (Club Technochocolate)

From Homestar Runner Wiki

"Girl, we got a food-related love..."

Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from Club Technochocolate in Baddest of the Bands.

On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.

A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.

Bottles

STRONG BAD: I usually go for the green bottles... but when the night is right, time to hit the purple stuff.

Box

First time only

STRONG BAD: {Looks under the box, and finds a Pom Pom poster.} It's a smooooth Pom Pom poster. I wonder how many teenage girl balloon people have one of these on their bedroom wall?

STRONG BAD: {Looks under the box} Oh, man.

STRONG BAD: {Looks under the box} Ugh.

STRONG BAD: {Looks under the box} Nope.

Buffalo Wings

STRONG BAD: Mmm, a plate of barbecued buffalo wings!

STRONG BAD: These buffalo wings were probably pretty tasty... about three weeks ago.

Escargot

STRONG BAD: Whoa, escargot! {Emphasises the last syllable of "escargot" so it rhymes with "whoa"} Club Technochocolate's going really upscale! Or maybe it's just a sneaky solution to their snail problem.

STRONG BAD: Nothing says "snooty" like garlic-covered snails.

Homestar

At intervals when in the scene

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Singing} Do we mi so what I must gooooo!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Singing} Mi mi mi mi mi mi miiii!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Singing} Oo-wah!

After the audition is successful

STRONG BAD: Hey Homestar— {Pulls out the contest entry forms}

POM POM: {Bubbles}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Pom Pom handles all my business arrangements now.

{Contest Entry Forms → Homestar has the same effect}

Bleach → Homestar

STRONG BAD: I don't want to waste any of this bleach on Homestar. If he gets any whiter, he'll probably turn invisible or something.

Homestar → Homestar

Before the first audition

First time only

STRONG BAD: What are you doing hanging out in a cool cloughb like this? You know there's no real chocolate, right?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm trying to work up the nerve to audition for Pom Pom!

STRONG BAD: Audition? For what? Pantsless wonder?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Pom Pom's scouring the globe for a singer to zazz up his instrumental piano stylings.

STRONG BAD: So, why aren't you auditioning? Aside from the complete lack of talent, I mean.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I would, but I forgot my accompanying music!

After a failed audition

First time only

STRONG BAD: What happened out there, man?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I don't know, Strong Bad. One second I was singing my mouth off, when all of a sudden my mind went totally blank!

STRONG BAD: There's a shock.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I looked around for something for inspiration, but I guess the words didn't rhyme.

STRONG BAD: No it didn't. Not this time.

STRONG BAD: Are you gonna audition again?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Maybe. But I'm really scared that I'll have another lyrical brain... {Long pause}

STRONG BAD: Freeze?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah.

STRONG BAD: Don't worry. If you're stuck, just keep your eyes on me.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Really?

STRONG BAD: Sure, it'll be funny! I mean great! It'll be great!

Homestar → Pom Pom

Before the audition is successful

STRONG BAD: Pom Pom looks like a beach ball on a mission.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: He's going through bunches of glossies and demo tapes, looking for a singer to turn his piano act into a smash-hit duo!

STRONG BAD: {Emphasising plosives} How's Pom Pom picking potential partners, p-anyway?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: He's looking for a smooth voice, good looks, and gorgeous gams. But most of all, he wants somebody who can improvise lyrics to go along with his piano playing!

Homestar → Battle of the Bands Stage

Before the audition is successful

First time only

STRONG BAD: Hey Homestar, {Pulls out the entry forms} how'd you like a one-way coach-class ticket to total stardom?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {intrigued} Ooh, a Battle of the Bands?

STRONG BAD: Yeah! For only a few handfuls of cash, you could be the next Limozeen!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sadly} Oh, but I don't have any handfuls of cash. And I'm not in a band. {hopeful} At least, not yet...

STRONG BAD: Are you sure you won't sign up for the Battle of the Bands?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Not now. But if I can nail this audition...

{Contest Entry Forms → Homestar has the same effect}

Homestar → Cancel

Before the audition is successful

STRONG BAD: Break an arm, good buddy.

STRONG BAD: Don't go nowheres.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm not leavin' until I'm a star! And not the Home kind, neither.

Food-Related Love → Homestar

STRONG BAD: {Pulls out the record} Hey, check out this vintage retro-ironic vinyl wax!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ooo, "Food-Related Love!" That's what I was gonna sing for my audition! Crank that puppy up, and watch me work my magic.

Signed Glossy → Homestar

If made out to Homestar

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Whoa, that's one saucy signature!

Novelty Sign

STRONG BAD: That's a bottlecap from a forty of Cold Ones Dry. Forty gallons, that is.

Pom Pom

Before Homestar has successfully auditioned

STRONG BAD: Yo, Pom Pom!

POM POM: {Bubbles quizzically}

STRONG BAD: Auditions? No, I—

POM POM: {Bubbles angrily}

STRONG BAD: Sorry.

After Homestar has successfully auditioned

STRONG BAD: Pom Pom?

POM POM: {Bubbles angrily}

In extended play

STRONG BAD: Back to the talent search, hey? I say you just eliminate the middleman and hire that Blubbo's whale!

POM POM: {Bubbles}

Aerosol Cheese → Pom Pom

After Homestar has failed the final line

POM POM: {bubbles}

Contest Entry Forms → Pom Pom

Before Homestar has successfully auditioned

First time only

STRONG BAD: Hey Pom Pom, I'm a big fan of your piano tinkling and thought you might like to sign up for my Battle of the Bands.

POM POM: {bubbles}

STRONG BAD: You're looking for a singer, {puts entry forms away} and won't perform anywhere until you find one?

POM POM: {bubbles}

STRONG BAD: Pom Pom?

POM POM: {Irritated bubbles}

STRONG BAD: Oh yeah, the talent search. Sorry.

After Homestar has successfully auditioned

STRONG BAD: {Pulls out the entry forms} So Pom Pom, about my Battle of the Bands contest...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: A concert? Let's do it!

POM POM: {Bubbles reservedly}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What do you mean, I'm not ready? I've been training my lungs out for hours! {Sadly} You don't believe in me!

POM POM: {Bubbles resignedly and signs the form, handing it back to Strong Bad}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hooray! I won't let you down, Colonel Pom! {pronounced as spelled}

STRONG BAD: Everything looks good. {Puts the form away} Now, for the entry fee...

POM POM: {Bubbles distrustfully}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: We'll send Bubs a check.

After PomStar signs up

STRONG BAD: They're already signed up.

Record

STRONG BAD: {Strong Bad takes the album, which is then displayed to the player} It's one of Pom Pom's instrumental piano albums. How he still managed to get chicks without squealy vocals or guitars is beyond me.

Sign

STRONG BAD: I'm glad they changed the name to "Club Technochocolate." SO much better than {derisively} "Club Trancefudge."

Slow Cooker

Before the cheese is added

STRONG BAD: Hey, an electric stew pot! {Touches it and gets burnt} Ow!

POM POM: {Bubbles}

STRONG BAD: Makin' some victory chowder after you find a singer, eh? Tasty.

STRONG BAD: That's Pom Pom's pipin' hot stew pot.

After the cheese is added

STRONG BAD: Mmm, a bubbly pot full of meltèd cheese. Hmm, you could make a pretty good fondue with this stuff.

After Homestar's successful audition

STRONG BAD: I wonder how many great musical acts owe their big break to a pot of fondue. I'm gonna go on record and guess... seven.

Aerosol Cheese → Slow Cooker

STRONG BAD: Ooo, maybe I can make some bubblin' cheese lava to dangle The Cheat over. {Sprays the cheese into the pot} Whoa! This actually made a nice fondue! Even better to dangle The Cheat over!

POM POM: {Bubbles}

Sword

STRONG BAD: Pom Pom definitely didn't take that sword back from me by force... and wedgies. I, uh, donated it.

POM POM: {Bubbles}

Turntable

At game start, and during extended play

STRONG BAD: Man. This thing looks like it hasn't been used in about four-to-six weeks.

After Homestar's successful audition

The same effect can be gotten before the audition if the record playing is canceled by right-clicking before it starts

POM POM: {Bubbles}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You heard the man, Strong Bad. I need that record to transform myself into an overnight sensation.

STRONG BAD: More like an overnight SUCK-sation.

Food-Related Love → Turntable

STRONG BAD: {Puts the record on} And now a moldie oldie from the Pomarino himself!

STRONG BAD: {Puts the record on} Once more, but this time with feeling!

STRONG BAD: {Puts the record on without speaking}

Homestar's audition, if all the correct decisions are made at relevant points

{Music starts}

POM POM: {Bubbles}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Singing} Girl, we got a food-related love. And it makes me wanna sing! It's a hot 'n' tangy feeling, kinda like a...

{Strong Bad indicates the buffalo wings.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Singing} ... like a buffalo wing! Bleu cheese or ranch. We can dine in, or we can take it to go. Our food-related love makes me all tipsy, kinda queasy, like a...

{Strong Bad indicates the merlot.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Singing} ... like a pint of merlot! I used to think it was mer-lot, until you told me it was not. And when we food-related kiss, it never food-related fails. Our lips are slimy, juicy, like a...

{Strong Bad indicates the escargot.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Singing} ... like these hot buttered snails! Sooo nasty. They're so gross, and buttery, and they move so slow. They're just like me, girl. The way I move across the dance floor. {Walks towards Pom Pom} Our love is related to food, and you know that it's true. It's warm and bubbly too, just like a... umm... like a ... hang on girl, gimme a minute...

{Strong Bad indicates the pot with fondue inside. If this point is missed, the song picks up from here next time the audition is repeated. If the cheese is added to the pot here, Strong Bad does so without saying anything.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Singing} ... just like a pot of fonduuuuuue!

BASS SINGER: Yeah.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Falsetto} Just like a pot of fondue!

BASS SINGER: Pot.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Normal voice} Ohhh, fondue is related to food.

BASS SINGER: That's true.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: In fact, I think it might be a food. Ohhh, fondue. It's so warm and it's gooey. {Speaks} Fonduey. So truey.

POM POM: {Bubbles and applauds}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Great? Me? Oh, pshaw!

POM POM: {Bubbles animatedly}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You wanna make me a star? Oh, thank you, thank you, Mister Pom.

POM POM: {Bubbles emphatically}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes sir! {Stands by Pom Pom}

If Strong Bad is not standing near anything

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Record scratches} Strong Bad? That doesn't rhyme!