long pants

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Current revision as of 21:03, 7 January 2024

Creepy pants all the time get some light globes.

Strong Bad shortens a long email, which causes Homestar to get some creepy pants, hoping to get some light globes.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Atari Homestar, The Cheat, Marzipan (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Homestar Runner's House (Easter egg)

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday, March 28, 2005

Running Time: 3:05

Page Title: Lappy 486

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Four

[edit] Transcript

STRONG BAD: And if I email you! Girl, woman! {He holds up pieces of paper that say "Girl." and "Woman." as he says those words.} Oh, would you email me? Girl, woman! {He holds up the papers again. Then he brings up the email:}

subject: Homestar's pants

Dear Strongbad,
Why doesn't homestar ever wear pants? It's kind of
creepy how he walks around with no pants on all the time.
Anyway, I think you should get him some pants, maybe some
parachute pants would work...yeah, that would work. Or maybe
some clown pants, I don't care, just get him some pants!
Tootles!

Clancy

{Strong Bad skips everything after "Anyway" and before "I don't care" and, instead, says "Blabbity blah, blah blebbity bloo". He also pronounces "Tootles" as "Toot-less" and "Clancy" as "Clanky".}

STRONG BAD: Aw, {begins typing} Too long, Clanky, too looong! Good thing you didn't indent, man, or this never woulda made it past my 2nd paragraph filter: {types 'run "Edga Jr."'} Edga Jr.

{The splash screen for "Edga Jr. The Long Email Killa Filta" comes up, similar to Edgar the Virus Hunter, except it shows a picture of a pimply red-haired boy saying "Indent and Die!"}

Edga Jr.
The Long Email
Killa Filta
 "Indent and Die!" 
programmed entirely in Mom's sewing room       c1989

STRONG BAD: Aw, look at him. He's one o' them red-haireded rapscalli... wags. {He returns to the email.} Well, I think we can salvage this one with a little editing. Let me once again call upon the services of my trusty, somewhat dusty, electronic light-pen input high-tech expensive device! Now in HD!

{He pulls out a correction pen bearing the words "X-PENSIVE WHITE" and shakes it.}

STRONG BAD: Just have to shake up the... expensive electrons here. All set! So, let's see! {he mumbles and says} Expensive high-tech device... {as he whites out the words, producing:}

subject: Homestar's pants

Dear Strongbad,
Why doesn't homestar ever wear pants? It's kind of
creepy how he walks around with no pants on all the time.
Anyway, I think you should get him some pants, maybe some
parachute pants would work...yeah, that would work. Or maybe
some clown pants, I don't care, just get him some pants!
Tootles!

Clancy

STRONG BAD: There! Now let's see what we got!

{re-reads the altered email}

STRONG BAD: Dear Strongbad, Why wear pants? Creepy pants all the time get some. Maybe parachute, maybe clown care. Some ants toot! Clanky. {He begins typing.} Now there's an email worth answering! Some ants toot. Tee-hee! {He clears the screen, but the correction fluid remains.} So, why wear pants? An age old question. Was it not Adam West who once said, "E—

{The camera pans back to show Homestar wearing very short purple pants}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, Strong Bad, check out my creepy pants!

STRONG BAD: {looking away, shielding eyes} Ew, Homestar! What're you wearing them Daisy Dukes for?!

{Homestar's pants shine, Strong Bad does a triple take}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: 'Cuz you said, "Creepy pants all the time get some."

STRONG BAD: Get some what?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I dunno. Light globes?

STRONG BAD: {stares flatly} ...Light globes.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You know, like in a lamp! Light globes! {His pants shine again.}

STRONG BAD: So... {rubs chin} You put on hot pants in the hopes of getting some lightbulbs.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {correctively} Globes.

{Homestar's pants shine again briefly as he says it.}

STRONG BAD: Well, since you're here, let's talk about your pants. {crosses legs, resting one hand on his knee.} Or your lack thereof... Daisy Dukes aside.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What are you talking about, Strong Bad? {shakes leg} I—I wear long pants.

STRONG BAD: Um... no, from what I can tell, you wear no pants {gestures with hand} and have blue soles glued to the bottoms of your feet. {indicates Homestar's feet}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {looking shocked} W—Well, that's simply not true. I have long pants, I wear long pants. I'm a long pants man, long pants, long pants!

{Homestar starts getting upset and dances around}

STRONG BAD: Okay, calm down... I didn't mean to—

{Homestar jumps high into the air and convulses on Strong Bad's desk.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Long pants, Strong Bad! The longest pants! Everybody everybody! Longest pants!

{He starts teleporting around the room to a different place after each word he utters. He first appears in front of Strong Bad, then leaning in behind him, then hanging upside down from the ceiling, then pixellated on the Lappy's screen as Atari Homestar, then blurred in the scene's foreground, then upside down under the desk, then back to his original position, looking exhausted and out of breath, all while chanting the following.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Long long long long long long pants!

STRONG BAD: Oight! Ah! That's it! We need to get you some serious clown care, man!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: But I was told long pants! Long pants! They said long pants! Always long pants! {leans toward Strong Bad, and the camera zooms in on the two} Long, my pants! {zoom in on the two again} Gleaming pants! {zoom in on the two yet again, this time with a red background} Glorious pants!!

{Homestar runs away, leaving the Daisy Dukes behind. They fall and hook around Strong Bad's foot.}

STRONG BAD: Bleh! Egh! BLEEEGGEHHEGH!

{He shakes his foot in a panic until the Daisy Dukes fly off and land on the floor some distance away, while The Cheat appears stage left to burn them with the BMW Lighter. They almost instantly combust with a noxious, neon green flame.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

{The Cheat leaves, and Strong Bad turns back to the computer.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Noice work, Clanky. You made Homestar go nuts and you've seriously creeped me out. And how am I supposed to get this crap offa here?

{Everything starting with the "t" in "get", with the exception of the question mark, is obscured by the correction fluid. Strong Bad grabs a cloth and attempts to wipe it off the screen, to no avail. He mutters.}

STRONG BAD: Stupid... made-up technology... that I made up... paint pen... {mumbles a bit before yelling:} The Cheat! Call tech support and tell 'em you broke the Lappy again!

{The Paper comes down.}

[edit] Easter Eggs

"You're not a broom?!"

• Selecting "wear pants" (specifically, after Strong Bad uses his "X-pensive White" pen) will bring up some fortune cookies, similar to those in the old Fortune Cookies game. As the cursor is hovered over each one, it brings up a sentence of Strong Bad's "improved" email.
  • The top left one brings up: Creepy pants all the time get some.
  • The top right cookie shows: Why wear pants?
  • The fortune cookie on the bottom right reads: Maybe parachute, maybe clown care.
  • And the one on the bottom left says: Some ants toot!
• Clicking on the socket under the table after Strong Bad says "Clown Care" brings up a business card for the service, Kertified Klown Kare. It reads:

Kertified
Klown Kare

-Pie Injuries
-Giant Foot Problems
-Wacky Malaria
-Grease Paint Poisoning

"Rodeo and Tragic Clown Hot Dogs NOT ACCEPTED"

• Selecting "creeped" at the end of the email reveals a touching moment between Homestar and Marzipan.

{Homestar is lying in bed with light bulbs beside and on the floor beneath him.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {crying} Loooonnng paaaannnts!

MARZIPAN: Awww, there there, Homestar. It's not so bad. Everybody thinks I'm a broom.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Sits up suddenly, surprised and upset} You're not a broom!?

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

• Daisy Dukes are extremely short cut-off jeans, so named for the character from The Dukes of Hazzard television show that wore them.
  • Hot pants is a more generic term for a pair of very short pants. Daisy Dukes are a variety of hot pants.
• Parachute pants are large billowy pants which come in at the waist and ankles with snug elastic bands, often made of nylon. They are typically associated with breakdance culture.
• Homestar insists that he has "light globes", not light bulbs. In Australia and South Africa, it is common for light bulbs to be called light globes.
  • It is also common in theatrical productions to refer to stage lamps as globes and household lamps as bulbs, distinguishing the two.
• The neon green flame that occurs when The Cheat burns Homestar's discarded shorts would indicate that they may contain large traces of barium, which, among other things, is used heavily in fluorescent lighting, especially fireworks. This might be the explanation as to why Homestar's shorts have a glow to them (that, or the "light globes").
• "HD" stands for high definition, which generally refers to any video system of higher resolution than standard definition.

[edit] Trivia

• This is the first time Strong Bad has lowered his upper eyelids.
• In the Easter egg, the messages in the fortune cookies read "You are not as good as most people" before they are completely unraveled, probably because The Brothers Chaps only changed the writing on the cookie. The cookies also said "You are not as good as most people" in Fortune Cookies.
• The label on the disk in the floppy disk container reads "fiendish freddys".
• This is the only Lappy email that takes place entirely in the computer room.

[edit] Remarks

• When Strong Bad returns to the email after having opened up Edga Jr., all the text he had typed as a reply is gone, and only the email remains.
• Even though Homestar moves his legs, his pants don't move.
• Although Strong Bad puts pressure onto the Lappy's screen when trying to rub off the marker and when applying the white out, no ripple effect occurs on the screen.
• When Strong Bad is scribbling out some of the letters in the email, his arm moves as if his entire arm came off; instead of tilting as it got farther away, it stayed in the exact same position.

[edit] Goofs

• When Strong Bad starts replying to the edited email, he never finishes typing the first line. When Strong Bad scrolls the screen, the edit cursor is still visible, and the text that was behind Strong Bad's head reads "Now there's an email worth answering! Some an█".
• After Strong Bad clears the screen and starts writing about the age old question, Homestar comes in. The text can be seen clearly the whole time Homestar is there, but when Homestar leaves and Strong Bad turns back to the Lappy, it is gone.
• The Klown Kare Easter egg (by clicking on the socket) can still be clicked in the same location on the screen when the scene moves around.
• When Homestar appears close-up to the computer, if zoomed in on, the disk label is slightly garbled like it would be in a JPEG file. This is because it actually is a JPEG being used to show both Homestar and the part of the background placed behind him, as the JPEG format does not allow for transparency.
  • Additionally, the image appears to be displayed slightly above its proper location.
• Each time Strong Bad's hands are visible in front of the Lappy's screen, they do not have reflections in the screen.
• There is a separate shadow on the white line in the Lappy's email client.
• When Homestar appears on the Lappy's screen, he isn't covered by the correction fluid, but rather, he shows up on top of it.
• As Strong Bad shakes his foot, the shading on his boot changes to a previous version.
• When Homestar jumps onto the table during his freak-out, his right leg appears to be outside of his Daisy Dukes.
• After Homestar says "I don't know" to Strong Bad asking "Get some what?", the outer brim of Homestar's cap changes to a different shade of red until he moves his head.
• The YouTube description should say "by whom" instead of "by who".

[edit] Inside References

• Both Clancy and Strong Bad think that Homestar doesn't wear pants, which he vehemently denies.
• Strong Bad laughs at the phrase "some ants toot".
• Edga Jr. is a reference to the email virus, in which his ambiguous relation, Edgar, created Strong Bad's virus protection program. Also, Edgarware was made in "mom's basement", whereas Edga Jr. was made seven years later in "mom's sewing room".
• Homestar says "Everybody everybody" in his tirade, a reference to the intro song.
• The business card Easter egg makes reference to the Tragic Clown Dog from part-time job.
• Marzipan's line about people thinking she's a broom (along with Homestar's response) may be a reference to Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 11.2 where Homestar leaves a message calling Marzipan an "old broomstick".
• The noise made by Homestar's glowing pants is used often in Stinkoman cartoons.
• Strong Bad's "light pen" is based on his "light pen" from haircut—there, it was a black permanent marker.
• When the pants are incinerated, green smoke is produced.
• The Cheat incinerates the Daisy Dukes with the BMW Lighter, a right he earned in the email privileges.
• "I'm a long pants man, long pants, long pants" echoes the line "I'm a self-made man, I am, I am" from Bubs's Character Video.
• The two lines of Strong Bad's email song overlap each other.

[edit] Real-World References

• Strong Bad throwing cue cards away during the intro song is a reference to the music video for "Subterranean Homesick Blues" by Bob Dylan.
• A light pen is an input device for cathode-ray tube monitors; the light-sensor technology allows a user to point to objects or draw on the screen. Note that a real light pen would be unlikely to work with the Lappy 486 due to its use of an LCD display.
  • Strong Bad writing on the Lappy with the light pen may be a reference to an old joke about computer novices attempting to correct typing mistakes using correction fluid on the monitor.
• Adam West was an actor best known for his role as Batman on the '60s TV show of the same name. The Batman costume had tights with briefs over them, so Batman does not wear pants, either.
• Edga Jr. resembles Red Herring from the spin-off animated series A Pup Named Scooby Doo.
• Clown Care is a program where trained clowns travel to hospitals to lift patients' moods by performing for them.

[edit] Fast Forward

• Strong Bad mentions tech support. He would later actually call tech support (which is Homestar Runner) in the email isp.
• "Noice" is used again in being mean.
• In email thunder, Homestar claims that he "accidentally took some of Strong Sad's pills" before the events of this email, resulting in his breakdown.

[edit] YouTube Version

• The YouTube description for this email is "Homestar shows up wearing shorts and pants at the same time. At least he was told long pants. Long pants, long pants. By who we don't know."
• The Easter egg with Homestar and Marzipan plays automatically at the end.

[edit] DVD Version

• For some reason, the Kertified Klown Kare business card Easter egg has been disabled.

• The DVD version features two hidden commentaries. To access them, switch the DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

[edit] Creators' Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Matt Chapman, Ryan Sterritt)

MIKE: {singing} Long pants! Long paaants!

MATT: Wow.

MIKE: That's my email song.

MATT: Yeah, we should have made email songs for each one of the commentaries.

MIKE: Well, too bad. So, Ryan, what is this email about? Give us the skinny.

RYAN: Somebody has pants, I think.—

{laughter}

RYAN: —And someone else wants them.

MIKE: {still laughing} Okay. I like it.

RYAN: I watched it.

MIKE: Coveting thy neighbor's pants.

MATT: Mm hmm. Um, so this is also, I would like to have a long email filta killa. Uh, killa filta, rather. Um...

MIKE: It's true. That's a way that you can guarantee your Strong Bad email not being read, if it's over—

MATT: If there's an indention...

MIKE: —over three or four lines, I just delete 'em.

MATT: You make that second paragraph, and good, good night, Irene.

{laughter}

RYAN: So where'd you guys find this pen?

MATT: It's right here, actually, Ryan. {He shakes the pen.}

RYAN: Aah! Ohh!

MIKE: Look at that!

MATT: It's uh, it's a white paint pen from Uni. {reading the pen} It marks on most surfaces. Medium line, opaque oil-based paint marker.

MIKE: It's the PX-20 variety.

MATT: So, uh, it's kinda funny, the story; Mike wrote this email, or we picked this email to do something with, and then Mike in parentheses underneath the email said, "Maybe could be edited," as a note to me saying hey, maybe we could cut this email a little shorter. I thought this was actually something that the person had actually written Strong Bad, so I decided to write the email where Strong Bad edits the email. And then, we ended up keeping it, even though that wasn't someone's, what the guy said. It was what Mike put.

MIKE: Why do his pants shine?

MATT: {laughing} They're just, there's so much glory and majesty about his pants.

MIKE: But are his pants glowing or is what's underneath the pants glowing?

MATT: {continuing to laugh} It's, uh, he's, it's just glowing.

MIKE: Behind his... it's disturbing, to say the least.

MATT: {still laughing} So Homestar's wearing Daisy Dukes; there's the power that comes with that.

MIKE: There's just certain words, that he says, that make them shine.

MATT: I like how Strong Bad has folded his legs there. I remember thinking that would be good.

{laughter}

MATT: "Oh, wow. Let's talk about your pants." Um, that's Feindish Freddy's Big-Top of Terror? What was it called?

MIKE: Fun? Something.

MATT: Big-Top of Fun. Circus-themed computer game.

RYAN: I always liked when Homestar hopped up on the desk like that.

MATT: Yeah? That's a new, 'cause I had to make some new legs for him there.

RYAN: I love too the pockets hanging out of the shorts, implying that he cut them that short.

{laughter}

MATT: Britney Spears style.

{They watch The Cheat burn the pants.}

MATT: Green flames... Oh yeah, I remember the week after this we tried to make the paint pen still be on the screen but just barely visible—

MIKE: Oh yeah.

MATT: —but it made it hard to read everything else. So we decided to ditch it, and...

MIKE: What Matt just said is correct.

MATT: {laughs} Ryan?

[edit] Fun Facts

• "Goodnight Irene" is the name of a 20th century American folk song.
• Britney Spears is an American singer, songwriter, dancer, actress, author and entertainer.

[edit] Characters' Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Shark-Tooth Bubs)

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hello, everybody. My name is Homestar Runner. I'm joined here in the booth by Marzipan—

MARZIPAN: Hi, guys.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: —and Shark-Tooth Bubs.

SHARK-TOOTH BUBS: {half singing} And I can say no more.

MARZIPAN: Ooh, Shark-Tooth!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What does that mean, Bubs?

SHARK-TOOTH BUBS: That's my regular greeting... car— It's a greeting card I read once.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's a great greeting card!

SHARK-TOOTH BUBS: Thanks.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: So this one deals mostly with me. It's all about my pants.

MARZIPAN: Well, I always have liked your pants.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks, Marzipan. See? Marzipan knows I wear long pants.

SHARK-TOOTH BUBS: {overlapping} You don't wear pants. No pants.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Shark-Tooth Bubs, what do you know about it? You've got a horn on your head.

SHARK-TOOTH BUBS: {half singing} I am a purple-pant man.

MARZIPAN: I think it's starting to smell in here again.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I believe it. Shark-Tooth Bubs, you stink.

{They watch the email for a moment.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Um, that just looks like a paint pen, Marzipan. Not an expensive high-tech device.

MARZIPAN: Well, it is a paint pen.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I know, but Strong Bad claims it's some kind of newfangle.

MARZIPAN: Oh.

SHARK-TOOTH BUBS: I got fangle jangle.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, do you?

SHARK-TOOTH BUBS: Yeah.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Can we see it later on?

MARZIPAN: I—

SHARK-TOOTH BUBS: I got it on my face all the time.

MARZIPAN: I have a song about the fangle jangle.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Will you sing it for us?

MARZIPAN: Yes. {singing} The fang—the fangle jangle, he's a nice guy. The fangle jangle, he gets real high.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey! You can't say that. That's interrupted.

MARZIPAN: High on life!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, okay. That's okay. {regarding the email} Look! Look, I look like, I look like Daisy Duke.

MARZIPAN: I thought Daisy Duke's pants were, um, not that color.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: No, they probably weren't, but I dyed them purple.

MARZIPAN: It looks more like a skirt.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What?!

MARZIPAN: Actually, it looks a lot like one of my skirts.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I just—Look, Marzipan. I don't wear your skirts anymore.

MARZIPAN: I don't think that's true.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: See? Could I do a little... jingle jangle?

MARZIPAN: {singing} Oh, jingle jangle, he is my friend. Jingle jangle, he is my friend. Jingle jingle, jangle jangle, jingle jingle, jangle jangle. Everyone should have a jingle jangle.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What do you say to that, Shark-Tooth Bubs?

SHARK-TOOTH BUBS: {half singing} I got my jingle jangle man, movie man, on the chicken stand.

MARZIPAN: I have a chicken.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Do you? Where is it? {regarding the email} I freaked out! I just freaked out! You guys, I totally freaked out.

MARZIPAN: Well, my chicken is out in the backyard, usually, but today he is in the laundry room.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I feel like on this DVD, we don't, we don't comment on the emails much during the commentaries.

MARZIPAN: Have you ever thought about getting a chicken?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: See? My point exactly.

MARZIPAN: A lot of people keep chickens as pets.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay.

[edit] External Links

• watch "long pants"
• watch "long pants" on YouTube
• watch "long pants" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "long pants"
• forum thread re: "long pants"