Baddest of the Bands Responses (The Track)
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(Redirected from Baddest of the Bands Responses (Locker Room))
On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.
A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.
Contents |
[edit] On Entering
- If holding the concession stand alarm
- STRONG BAD: I wonder if Bubs'll be able to hear his alarm way out here?
[edit] Alarm → Lockers or Trophy Case
- STRONG BAD: No, if I really wanna frame Coach Z, I should put this thing someplace more officially... Coach Z-ian.
[edit] Bleach
- While Coach Z is present
- STRONG BAD: Hmmm... industrial-strength bleach. This might come in handy.
- COACH Z: Don't touch that! I'll be needing it later to clean out my urinals!
- While Coach Z is absent
- STRONG BAD: {Takes the bleach, and reads off the label} "Warning: this bleach is caustic, vile and dangerous. Always handle with protective gloves and headgear, or severe bleaching, poisoning, and other not-good side-effects may result." {Puts the bleach away} Wow! Caustic, vile, gloves, headgear — it's like this stuff was made for me!
[edit] Coach Z
- STRONG BAD: Coach Z!
- COACH Z: Oh, hey there, Strong Bad.
At intervals when in the scene
- COACH Z: Oh, Marzipan.
- COACH Z: Mrs. Marzipan Z
- COACH Z: Wherefore art thorr, Marzipan?
In extended play
- STRONG BAD: Tired of trying to make things work as the "One-O-Uno?"
- COACH Z: Aw, Bubs'll be back. He loves me like a brother.
- BUBS: You shut yer face!
- COACH Z: Hates me like a brother too!
- COACH Z: Ahh, whud I do?
- COACH Z: Let's see here... {rapping} Coach Z... good teeth... lady somethin'... roast beef...
[edit] Coach Z → Coach Z
- STRONG BAD: {Long panning shot showing the Coach Z stamp all over objects, the walls... and the ceiling} I gotta say, Coach, I really hate what you've done with the place.
- COACH Z: Step orf, Strong Bad. I've found stamping my name on everything helps keep my mind off more important matters. {Sadly} Like unrequited love. {Sighs}
- STRONG BAD: Are you done treating your locker room like a seven-year-old nerd's underwear?
- COACH Z: Not yet! I've still gotta to the urinal cakes, the shower cakes, and the cup cakes!
- STRONG BAD: Ooh, cup cakes! Oh, wait.
[edit] Coach Z → Marzipan
- First time only
- STRONG BAD: What's with all the sighing about Marzipan?
- COACH Z: {Wistfully} Oh, Marzipan. My little baseball bat in a dress.
- STRONG BAD: Ew.
- STRONG BAD: If you're so into Marzipan, why not tell her how you feel? I love watching train wrecks.
- COACH Z: I'm too afraid she'll reject me! If only she'd give me a sign...
- STRONG BAD: {Pondering} A sign, eh?
[edit] Coach Z → Two-O-Duo
- First time only
- STRONG BAD: You ever think about getting together with Bubs for a Two-O-Duo reunion?
- COACH Z: I used to, but ever since we broke up, Bubs thinks I've gone soft! Plus, right now I'm too depressed about other things... Marzipan, Marzipan... {sighs}
- STRONG BAD: So, Bubs is dead-set against a Two-O-Duo reunion?
- COACH Z: Yup. Unless I suddenly get Marzipan out of my head, and re-establish my street-cred.
[edit] Coach Z → Cancel
- STRONG BAD: {Backing away} I think I'll just back away slowly and leave you to your various miseries.
- COACH Z: {Sighs miserably}
- STRONG BAD: Well, this has been unsettling, but I've got a concert to put together.
- COACH Z: I remember when I used to perform in concerts. {Sighs}
[edit] Alarm → Coach Z
- STRONG BAD: Psst, Coach Z! Wanna buy a cool burglar alarm that fell off the back of Bubs' truck?
- COACH Z: No way, Strong Bad! The only hot item I'm after these days has long blonde hair and an upside-down wineglass figure.
[edit] Contest Entry Forms → Coach Z
- {Same effect as Coach Z → Two-O-Duo}
[edit] Glossy → Coach Z
- If unsigned
- STRONG BAD: Hey Coach, I got you something! {Pulls out the glossy}
- COACH Z: {Takes the glossy} Oh, it's another picture of Marzipan! I'll just store it with all the others. Maybe someday I'll get the nerve to ask her to autograph one of these things.
- If signed with someone else's name
- STRONG BAD: Hey Coach Z, check this out! {Pulls out the glossy}
- COACH Z: {Depressingly} Oh, it's my true lorv. But she's given her heart to somebody else... {Wails}
- {Strong Bad puts the glossy away again}
- If signed with Coach Z's name
- STRONG BAD: {In a sing-song voice} Hey Coach, I got you something!
- COACH Z: Can't you see I'm obsessin' and compulsin' over here?
- {Strong Bad pulls out the glossy, which Coach Z takes}
- COACH Z: {Reading} "To Coach Z, all my best, Marzipan." Y'hear that? All her best! That constitutes a legal marriage in some shady countries!
- STRONG BAD: You'd better get over there, Don Joo-wahn, before she down grades to some of her best.
- COACH Z: Good point! Thanks, Strong Bad. {Leaves}
[edit] Coach Z's Door
- While Coach Z is present
- {Strong Bad opens the door}
- COACH Z: Hey! Quit messing with my office! {pronounces like orifice}
- STRONG BAD: Eww. Please never say that again. {Closes the door}
- {Strong Bad opens the door}
- COACH Z: Stay away from my gymnastical unmentionables!
- {Strong Bad closes the door and backs away}
- While Coach Z is absent
- First time only
- STRONG BAD: I wonder how Coach Z's mound of unwashed socks and crusty jocks is doing. {Opens the door and goes in, then comes out slowly} Uh, I think it just waved at me.
- STRONG BAD: {Opens the door, looks in, and closes it again} The mound just asked me for a dollar.
[edit] Alarm → Coach Z's Door
- Note: this will also occur when just clicking on Coach Z's door while Strong Bad has the alarm, and Coach Z is absent.
- STRONG BAD: Time to gird your nasal loins, nose. We're goin' in! {Opens the door and goes in} Hmm, I wonder what this does?
- BUBTRONIC: {Alarm goes off} Homing beacon activated! Sit your butt down until the authorities arive! {Repeats, as Strong Bad hides in the shower room, and Bubs enters through the door}
- BUBS: Aha! I knew it would be worth the extra five bucks to put a homing beacon on my robot. {Enters Coach Z's office} What in the name of all that's sold in bulk? {Alarm stops. Bubs comes out holding it.} I don't believe it! Coach Z stealing from my own dang store, just like we used to rhyme about back in the old days.
- If this is the first or second of Bubs' three criteria to be met
- BUBS: I didn't think MC Green Beans still had it in him, but it's gonna take a lot more than grand theft roboto to convince me that he's hardcore again. In fact-- {Pauses} Hey, who the heck am I talking to, anyway? Stupid jock strap fumes making me talk to myself... {Leaves}
- STRONG BAD: My frame job is working! I'll have Coach Z's street-cred restored in no time!
- If this is the third of Bubs' three criteria to be met
- BUBS: I guess that old green pole's still got it the flava, after all. {Raps} I may be soft 'round the middle, but I'm still hardcore, we're stealing stuff from my own dang store. {Leaves}
- STRONG BAD: Finally! Maybe now I can get the Two-O-Duo to reunite for my concert!
[edit] Hanger
- STRONG BAD: Well, well, well. So we meet again, Mister Wire Hanger. Not so high-and-mighty now, are we? {Enters the shower room and takes the hanger}
[edit] Left-hand Locker
- First time only
- {Opens the locker and finds a Cool Tapes poster.}
- STRONG BAD: {In a disinterested voice} Oh, joy. It's a poster from the Cool Tapes' last tour.
[edit] Shower Room
- While Coach Z is present
- STRONG BAD: {Pleading voice} Coach, your showers still smell like Homestar Onion Soup! Don't you ever clean these things?
- COACH Z: But the CDC was just here six months ago to give 'em their mandatory bleach-down.
- While Coach Z is absent
- STRONG BAD: I won't use these showers unless there's some sort of national emergency... or a saucy "women in prison" movie being filmed.
[edit] Trophy Case
- While Coach Z is present
- STRONG BAD: What happened to all the pointless trophies?
- COACH Z: Pointless? Gold-painted plastic trophies are a lasting symbol of parents forcing their kids to play sport... and I sold 'em for two bucks.
- {Strong Bad shakes his head}
- While Coach Z is absent
- STRONG BAD: Coach Z should put a lock on this thing some day. Or some glass.
[edit] Toilet Paper
- While Coach Z is present
- First time only
- {Strong Bad takes a roll.}
- COACH Z: Get your hands off my terlet papes!
- STRONG BAD: Hey, I don't see YOUR name on it. {Looks at it and sees the Z stamp} Waitaminute, I DO see your name on it.
- COACH Z: Rappers are always putting their names on their necklaces and teeth and jeweled crunk goblets, so I figured why can't a fella put his name on his own tukus paper?
- STRONG BAD: Wow. You are a true baller, Coach Z. {Puts the roll back}
- STRONG BAD: {Takes a roll} So, could I borrow a roll of your Property of Coach Z toilet paper?
- COACH Z: No way! I've got big plans for these babies!
- STRONG BAD: You stop talking now! {Hurriedly puts the roll back}
- While Coach Z is absent
- STRONG BAD: {Takes a roll} Don't worry, my little rolls of marginally-absorbent toilet paper. Papa Strong Bad will save you from Coach Z's unspeakable gluteal regions. {Puts the roll away}
[edit] Toilet Paper Crate
- First time only
- STRONG BAD: {Reading} "Colonel Rockbottom's half-ply toilet tissue - two gross." More like "too nasty."
- COACH Z: The Colonel and I just had an "audience" about an hour ago. He gave me a medal of honor!
- STRONG BAD: "You Don't Hit Rockbottom, Rockbottom Hits YOU!" Ouch, man.
