Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective Responses (World Locations)
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from the World Locations in Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective.
On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.
A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.
[edit] Venice
[edit] On first arrival
- {Shot of Coach Z's feet, which quickly pans up to show Senor Cardgage standing by the "Venetian" river. It's clear the camera has been accidentally activated by Coach Z, and it's simply recording a conversation between him and Strong Bad.}
- COACH Z: —ong Bad, you kidding? You can't put Senor Cardgage in your movie! That guy is creepy with a capital Cree! And I don't think he's too clear on the whole fantasy/reality thing neither.
- STRONG BAD: You're crazy, man! Senor Cardgage is awesome! {Camera starts wandering} He's perfect for the role of Dadgeresque!
- COACH Z: {Camera jerks back to Senor Cardgage} Has he even seen the script?
- STRONG BAD: {Walks on-screen} Script? That guy doesn't need a script, he's a natural! Just stand back and watch the— {Turns to the camera} Hey, is that thing recording?
- COACH Z: {Coach Z spins the camera so he can look at the front} No, of course n—
- {Jump cut. Long shot as Dangeresque and Renaldo arrive in Venice}
- RENALDO: Well, here we are... {Pause}
- DANGERESQUE: Ah, Venice!
[edit] After solving the lost kidnapping
- DANGERESQUE: Well, dad, you never believed me, but I did it. I solved the lost kidnapping case that you never could. And I have the proof right here. {Gives the newspaper to Dadgeresque}
- DADGERESQUE: Oh, thanks for the recyclables, Angela. Thas will make a pretty good blanketer. {Leaves}
- If Strong Bad has the plans
- DANGERESQUE: Er, right, dad. No time to waste! Come on, Renaldo, we're following dad to the kidnapper's hideout! {Scene changes to the kidnapper's hideout}
- If Strong Bad does not have the plans
- DANGERESQUE: Er, right, dad. No time to waste! I'll meet you at the kidnapper's hideout once I get the plans!
[edit] Dadgeresque
- DANGERESQUE: Hey... you.
[edit] Dadgeresque → Dadgeresque
- DANGERESQUE: Um, hi, dad. It's me, Dangeresque. I know it's been—
- DADGERESQUE: {Interrupting} Hey, Brethany. Are you came to fetch the dodgers?
- DANGERESQUE: {Uncertain} Um... yeah, dodge. {Suddenly confident} Yeah, you can't dodge me any more, dad! There's been a kidnapping and—
- DADGERESQUE: {Interrupting} No, the kids are all went to the mallvies.
- DANGERESQUE: Yes, yes, the old... er... Malvies Catacombs! Is that where the kidnapping you were never able to solve went down? I'll do it, Dad! I'll finish the case for you, and then you can help me rescue Cutesy Buttons!
- DADGERESQUE: If you go to the store, can you buychase me a cheese burgwich?
[edit] Dadgeresque → Dadgeresque → Angel
- DANGERESQUE: {Overjoyed} Dad! I thought I'd lost you!
- DADGERESQUE: No, I was just on my fiftee-nute break.
- DANGERESQUE: Finally, we can be a finally again! Family again!
- DADGERESQUE: There were some ducks in the wadger, but they lest away, I guess.
- DANGERESQUE: Whatever. It's just good to have you back!
[edit] Dadgeresque → Dadgeresque → Devil
- DANGERESQUE: {Angry} Dad, where have you been all these years?
- DADGERESQUE: Mostly linin' up the doughnuts... I dunno.
- DANGERESQUE: {Anguished} It hasn't been easy, dad. A kid like me, growing up on the streets. I had to learn to be tough! Do things my way! And I did it all on my own!
- DADGERESQUE: Okay then, Israel. I could really go for a nice cold marmalade.
[edit] Dadgeresque → Trinket
- DANGERESQUE: {Gets out the trinket} You left me this mysterious trinket before you left, dad. I have to know, what is it?
- DADGERESQUE: That's real brootiful, Jennifer. Can I bo-roach it for my prong date?
- DANGERESQUE: Umm... oh, I get it. You can't talk about it now! You never know who might be listening! {Puts the trinket away and looks from side to side}
[edit] Nunchuck gun → Dadgeresque
- DANGERESQUE: {Whipping out his nunchuck gun} Check this thing out! {Puts it away}
- DADGERESQUE: Okay. No thanks for all.
- DANGERESQUE: I'll never get your approval, will I, dad? NEVER!
[edit] Flower
- If left on podium the last time Strong Bad was here
- {Dangeresque takes the note with the flower and reads}
- SULTRY BUTTONS: {voiceover} Dangeresque, how dare you try to make nice with me in the country where we had our first fight? And for your information, my butt STILL does not look like a porcupine wrestling a pineapple! Still hate you, Sultry Buttons. {Strong Bad throws the note away}
[edit] Gondola
- DANGERESQUE: {Fake Italian accent} Hey, a-you in the boat-a! Wake up! I have a gelato pizza pasta for you! {Normal voice} Man, that guy is one heavy sleeper.
[edit] Informant
- Only appears after Renaldo gets kidnapped.
- First time only
- DANGERESQUE: Hey you, citizen. I'm looking for some information.
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} Bongiorno! I'm known around these parts as Stinky the Peeve. I sense that you are looking for information!
- DANGERESQUE: Yeah, I just said that. And I said no accents!
- DANGERESQUE: Hey, Peevy Stank!
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} Tell me what you want to know.
[edit] Informant → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: So what are you doin' here? 'Cause I gotta seal this whole place off to search for a fugitive!
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} I am a psychic advisor sent here by higher forces to help you in your investiagion.
- DANGERESQUE: {Nonplussed} Higher forces. Of course.
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} I am what is called a "touch psychic". Give me any item and I can tell you its significance.
[edit] Informant → Podium
- DANGERESQUE: What happened to that solidest gold nugget over there that I totally wasn't going to steal?
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} My senses tell me that a mysterious woman may have taken it. There's a rumor that a beautiful woman is attempting to steal all the world's greatest treasures.
- DANGERESQUE: Oh yeah, these must be the world's SECOND greatest treasures. I already stole all the good ones.
[edit] Informant → Perducci
- DANGERESQUE: I'm looking for a man who has stolen some very important disks.
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} These aren't pirated copies of Windows Millenium Edition, are they? Because I don't deal with that kind of—
- DANGERESQUE: No, just top secret rocket launch codes to the sun.
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} Ah, you're looking for Perducci.
- DANGERESQUE: {Shaking fist} PERDUCCI!
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} He was here in Venice not too long ago, but has since fled the country. If you have any items that Perducci has touched, I might be able to help you find him!
[edit] Informant → Sultry Buttons
- DANGERESQUE: I'm trying to catch a beautiful jewel thief. Got any tips?
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Normal voice} Hmm. If you want to impress a lady, try leaving flowers in a place you know she'll be!
[edit] Informant → Painting
- {Note that Painting → Informant has the same effect}
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the painting} What do you make of this?
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} Hmmm... this painting is old. It has sentimental value to Perducci. I see... this painting being stolen by Perducci, in Cairo... some time in 1963.
- DANGERESQUE: Wow, Perducci's THAT old? I mean, I guess the creaking rusty hip joints should have given it away, but...
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} Never underestimate your elders. They tend to surprise you.
- DANGERESQUE: {Putting it away} Yeah, but they usually do it with smells.
[edit] Informant → Cancel
- First time only
- DANGERESQUE: Okay, Stinky, I really should get going.
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} I knew you were going to say that. But before you leave, I should let you know that I have three brothers, located in other countries, that are also willing to help you. They aren't psychics, but they do have unique talents that may be useful.
- DANGERESQUE: I am trying really hard not to let that disturb me.
- DANGERESQUE: I'm outta here, Stinkman.
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} Don't forget to look up any of my three brothers if you need help in other countries.
- DANGERESQUE: I gotta run. Places to go, Perduccis to bust.
[edit] Big Knife → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the knife} What do you make of this?
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} This was owned by someone who cared for you very much, but now wishes she could get back those picturesque moments.
[edit] Blueprints → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the blueprints} What do you make of this?
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} These plans were taken from Perducci by someone much more awesome than he.
- DANGERESQUE: That is one hundred percent true.
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} It's unclear where Perducci is now, but judging from the whiskey stains, these plans originated in Ireland, laddie.
- {Given access to Ireland}
[edit] Diamond and Ruby → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the photo} What do you make of this?
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} I sense that this was recently stolen. Twice.
[edit] Romantic Photo → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the photo} What do you make of this?
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} I sense that this was a very happy moment for the woman in the photo. She wishes she could re-create this moment.
[edit] Small Rock → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the rock} What do you make of this?
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} I sense that this rock was used by Perducci to beat Perducci in a game of cards!
- DANGERESQUE: Wow! That was pretty good! What else ya got?
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} I can sense Perducci's presence, but it's not here. This rock originally came to Perducci when it shot out of a volcano in Japan. I feel that he may be on his way back to Tokyo.
- {Given access to Tokyo}
[edit] Any other item → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: Does THIS mean anyth—
- STINKY THE PEEVE: {Italian accent} Don't even bother taking it out. I can already tell you that it's worthless.
- DANGERESQUE: Oh. Well okay, then.
[edit] Podium
- DANGERESQUE: {Reading} World's solidest gold nugget. {Normally} Solidest? Well, where is it? I want to steal it!
[edit] Renaldo
- DANGERESQUE: So, Renaldo, what do you make of my dad, Dadgeresque?
- RENALDO: I think he's a lost cause. {breaks character} And I think your choice of casting is gonna cost us the "Best Supporting Dad" award this year!
[edit] Nunchuck Gun → Renaldo
- DANGERESQUE: Now is not the time for violence! ...Just kidding, any time is a good time for violence, but I have more important things to do right now.
[edit] Ireland
[edit] On first arrival
- {Shot of The Cheat pressing play on the See Dee Spinner, which then plays an Irish jig. The camera abruptly spins down and around to show the Ireland backdrop. Zoom out to show Strong Bad looking at it.}
- DANGERESQUE: Ireland, and the fresh clean scent of the Irish spring. {Music ends}
[edit] Flower
- If left on podium the last time Strong Bad was here
- {Dangeresque takes the note with the flower and reads}
- SULTRY BUTTONS: {voiceover} Is this some kind of a joke? You leave me a Stickanee flower in the same country where you accidentally blew up my summer cottage on purpose? This is NOT going to make me remember the good times. Hoping you get hit by a truck, Sultry Buttons. {Dangeresque throws the note away}
[edit] Informant
- DANGERESQUE: I'm looking for a criminal. Fat guy, dumb-looking mustache... seen anyone like that around here? Other than you, I mean.
- CECIL VAN GOUGH: {Irish accent} It's possible. In my profession, I see a lot of people who fit that description. I'll try to help if I can, laddie.
- DANGERESQUE: Hey, art guy. I have some more questions for you.
[edit] Informant → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: You must be one of Stinky's brothers.
- CECIL VAN GOUGH: {Irish accent} Aye. My name is Cecil van Gough. I'm a well-respected art critic and collector. If you have any pieces of fine art, I can tell ye their history.
[edit] Informant → Podium
- DANGERESQUE: What do you know about the stolen four-leaf thousand dollar bill?
- CECIL VAN GOUGH: {Normal voice, monotone} Uhh... only that I am not one of his minions.
- DANGERESQUE: Is that s— {Breaks character} What?!
- STRONG SAD: {Stage whisper} I didn't get the script updates this morning... I'm ad-libbing.
- STRONG BAD: CUT!
- {A clapper board passes over the screen}
[edit] Informant → Perducci
- DANGERESQUE: Ever hear of a guy named Perducci?
- CECIL VAN GOUGH: {Irish accent} Aye. He just tried to sell me a beautiful masterpiece. But I do not deal in stolen goods, so I sent him away. I suspect he may be trying to sell it in Cairo.
- DANGERESQUE: Are you serious? I just missed him AGAIN? Man, I better be earning some frequent fly-guy miles for all this globe-trotting I'm doin'!
- {Given access to Cairo}
[edit] Informant → Sultry Buttons
- DANGERESQUE: I'm trying to catch a beautiful jewel thief. Got any tips?
- CECIL VAN GOUGH: {Normal voice} Hmm. If you want to impress a lady, try leaving flowers in a place you know she'll be!
[edit] Informant → Painting
- {Note that Painting → Informant has the same effect}
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the painting} Is this painting worth anything?
- CECIL VAN GOUGH: {Irish accent} I remember this painting! It was all over the news when it was stolen from the Mummy's Tomb back in 1963!
- DANGERESQUE: Yeah, but I said is it worth anything?
- CECIL VAN GOUGH: {Irish accent} It's stolen, so I won't be paying anything for it.
- DANGERESQUE: {Putting it away} Then I guess I'm done here.
[edit] Informant → Cancel
- DANGERESQUE: Thanks for your help. Don't go anywhere, I may have some more questions.
- CECIL VAN GOUGH: {Irish accent} You know where to find me.
[edit] Romantic Photo → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the photo} What do you make of this?
- CECIL VAN GOUGH: {Irish accent} It's a lovely photo of the rare Stickanee flower, but it's not really what I would call art.
[edit] Certain items → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: I'm not gonna embarrass myself by trying to pass THAT off as a piece of art!
[edit] Podium
- DANGERESQUE: {Reading} The rare four-leaf thousand dollar bill! {Normally} Whoa. I busted up a ring of counterfeit THREE-leaf thousand dollar bills before, but I've never seen a four-leaf one! And I've STILL never seen one, because it's been stolen by Sultry Buttons.
[edit] Cairo
[edit] On first arrival
- {Panning shot of the Cairo backdrop}
- DANGERESQUE: Cairo. The driest city in the world. Land of the mysterious desert pyramids. {The backdrop starts to fall over. Jump cut, and it's suddenly upright again, with The Cheat holding it up. Rapid pan over to Strong Bad.} I wonder if I'll find Perducci here?
[edit] Flower
- If left on podium the last time Strong Bad was here
- {Dangeresque takes the note with the flower and reads}
- SULTRY BUTTONS: {voiceover} Dangeresque, you aren't really trying to win me back in the country where we first tasted celery soda. I mean, I guess it wasn't that bad, but it wasn't good either. They say it's an acquired taste, but... anyway, this place doesn't really hold any fond memories for me. I'll kill you in your sleep, Sultry Buttons. {Dangeresque throws the note away}
[edit] Informant
- DANGERESQUE: Don't tell me, you're another one of Stinky's brothers. Geez, how many of you guys ARE there?
- MOVING MAN: {New York accent} Four all together. Now, did you come to do business? If not, then get lost.
- DANGERESQUE: Hey, mole guy.
[edit] Informant → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: You've got a real attitude, pal. {smiles} I like that. So what's your story?
- MOVING MAN: {New York accent} Well, since you know my brudder, they call me the Moving Man. I'm a professional fence. You got some moichandise that you obtained through questionable means, get it to me and I can move it for yas.
- DANGERESQUE: I'll keep that in mind if I ever want to do any... "spring cleaning" in my office.
[edit] Informant → Podium
- DANGERESQUE: I'm sure you're aware that Sultry Buttons has stolen the Purple Nose of Cairo.
- MOVING MAN: {New York accent} Yeah, and it is a great loss to the country, but a possible great profit ta me!
- DANGERESQUE: Really? A purple nose?
- MOVING MAN: {New York accent} If you scratch it, it smells like boysenberries!
- DANGERESQUE: It's a scratch 'n' sniff treasure?
- MOVING MAN: {New York accent} Yup.
- DANGERESQUE: Well... actually that IS pretty cool.
[edit] Informant → Perducci
- DANGERESQUE: In your line of work, you must have connections to Perducci. Is he here in Cairo?
- MOVING MAN: {New York accent} Oh yeah, I know Perducci. He and I go way back. But you won't find him in Cairo. I just sent him off to Tokyo to move some counterfeit movie tie-in moichandise.
- DANGERESQUE: So THAT'S where all that cheap junk is coming from.
[edit] Informant → Sultry Buttons
- DANGERESQUE: I'm trying to catch a beautiful jewel thief. Got any tips?
- MOVING MAN: {Normal voice} Hmm. If you want to impress a lady, try leaving flowers in a place you know she'll be!
[edit] Informant → Painting
- {Note that Painting → Informant has the same effect}
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the painting} Take a look at this painting. Anyone ever try to move this thing through you?
- MOVING MAN: {New York accent} Yeah, I remember Perducci stole this thing from the Mummy's Tomb one Fall, a long time ago!
- DANGERESQUE: You remember it being in the fall?
- MOVING MAN: {New York accent} Yeah, well, business is slow in the fall. Something like that painting comes through and you remember it.
[edit] Informant → Cancel
- DANGERESQUE: I've heard enough. But if ya ever run into someone needing to get rid of some stolen jet pack boots, you know who to call!
- MOVING MAN: {New York accent} Sure, and if you happen to run into any of my three brudders, give them a big hug fer me.
- DANGERESQUE: Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
- DANGERESQUE: Stay outta trouble, or I'll be back for ya!
[edit] Diamond or Ruby → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: What can I get for this?
- MOVING MAN: Hmm... I'll give you five bucks for it!
- DANGERESQUE: But it's a priceless gem!
- MOVING MAN: Take it or leave it.
- DANGERESQUE: I'll leave it. {Puts the gem away} But I do admire your underhanded corruptitude.
[edit] Certain items → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: {Turns to the camera} Nah, I'd rather keep THAT for myself.
[edit] Podium
- DANGERESQUE: {Reading} The Purple Nose of Cairo? {Normally} That's a weird one. I think I'll let Sultry Buttons keep that one.
[edit] Pyramids
- DANGERESQUE: Man, check out those pyramids! So pointy! And those sphinx...es! Just, like, laying out in the sun like that. They are probably like, "man, it's all hot out here, I'm just gonna lay down for a minute." But then they fall asleep and get covered with sand and have to stay that way! And then, their freakin' noses fall off! That's rough, man. That's gangsta.
[edit] Tokyo
[edit] On first arrival
- {The camera focuses on a cardboard stand depicting Mount Fuji. Authentic music plays.}
- DANGERESQUE: Japan. Wow, this place looks SO different from any other country I've visited! So different!
[edit] Flower
- If left on podium the last time Strong Bad was here
- {Dangeresque takes the note with the flower and reads}
- SULTRY BUTTONS: {voiceover} Nice flower, Dangeresque. Too bad this is the country where you decided your speedboat couldn't take my weight and left me to face the Old Polish Navy alone. A sensitive person would be more sentimental! Thinking about kicking your face, Sultry Buttons. {Dangeresque throws the note away}
[edit] Informant
- STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: Psst... Are you Dangeresque?
- DANGERESQUE: I see my legend preceeds me.
- STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: My brother said to expect you. Do you have any questions for me?
- DANGERESQUE: Yo, Stooley.
[edit] Informant → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: So, who are you supposed to be?
- STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: Just call me Stooley Rat Weasel.
- DANGERESQUE: Only if you pay me.
- STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: I'm a double agent working to gather info for both sides. If you have anything that you need information on, just show it to me.
[edit] Informant → Podium
- DANGERESQUE: What do you know about the Swollen Jade Tick?
- STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: {Italian accent} Ah, a rare and beautiful treasure! They say it was pulled from the backside of an ancient jade elephant!
- DANGERESQUE: Okay, okay, stop talking, stop talking!
[edit] Informant → Perducci
- DANGERESQUE: I'm looking for a fugitive named Perducci. That name mean anything to you?
- STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: Yeah, I know Perducci. I've been gathering intel on him for years! He was here not long ago, you just missed him! My sources say he may be heading to a safe house in Paris!
- DANGERESQUE: Ah, the old "safe house in Paris" gimmick. I should have known!
[edit] Informant → Sultry Buttons
- DANGERESQUE: I'm trying to catch a beautiful jewel thief. Got any tips?
- STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: Hmm. If you want to impress a lady, try leaving flowers in a place you know she'll be!
[edit] Informant → Painting
- {Note that Painting → Informant has the same effect}
- DANGERESQUE: {pulls out the painting} Hey, ya got any intel on this baby?
- STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: Of course. Perducci and I worked together to steal this from an ANCIENT TEMPLE in JAPAN.
- DANGERESQUE: Can that information help me find him now?
- STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: I don't think so.
- DANGERESQUE: {puts the painting away} Well, that's no fun.
[edit] Informant → Cancel
- DANGERESQUE: Keep on playin' both sides, Rat Weezy.
- STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: Don't worry about me. And if you need any more help in your travels, just look up any of my three brothers!
[edit] Small Rock → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the rock} What do you make of this?
- STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: It's a rock!
[edit] Certain items → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: {Turns to camera} Hmmm. If this guy is a double agent, I probably shouldn't be showing him everything I have. Just the stuff that might lead me to Perducci!
[edit] Metal Detector
- DANGERESQUE: Somewhere out there, there's a bullet with my name on it. {Finds a bullet} But not this one. This one's been monogrammed by {Shaking fist} Perducci!
[edit] Podium
- DANGERESQUE: {reading} "The Swollen Jade Tick". I'm glad this one was stolen. Ticks BUG me. {grins at his joke} They TICK me off. {chuckles under his breath} They really SUCK. {Laughs, and sheepishly glances at camera} Right... comic relief?
[edit] Paris
[edit] On first arrival
- {The camera pans down an Eiffel Tower backdrop.}
- DANGERESQUE: Paris. The city of romance. Many a hearts and winds I have broken here.
[edit] Flower
- If left on podium the last time Strong Bad was here, and if Strong Bad had visited another world location before returning
- {Strong Bad takes the note with the flower and reads}
- SULTRY BUTTONS: {voiceover} My dear Dangeresque, a Stickanee flower in Paris... it brings back memories of the good times. Like that time we tried to assassinate the Emperor of Toothpaste while he was on vacation. But I guess you got here just as I was leaving. Maybe next time you'll arrive before me. {Dangeresque throws the note away}
[edit] Informant
- DANGERESQUE: Hey you, have you seen—
- PROFILER: {Interrupting, Indian accent} You are troubled with father issues. This has made it hard for you to define which side of the law you are on, and why you choose to work alone. Except when you work with your partner.
- DANGERESQUE: Which is all the time.
[edit] Informant → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: What are you, another psychic?
- PROFILER: {Indian accent} I'm a psychological profiler. I can give you a psychological profile of a person just by evaluating their belongings.
[edit] Informant → Podium
- DANGERESQUE: Did you see a woman come through here and steal a ginormous diamond?
- PROFILER: {Indian accent} Um, nope. Not that I know of.
- DANGERESQUE: What? Aren't you supposed to know everything about the seedy criminal activity around here?
- PROFILER: {Indian accent} I'm sure if there was anyone around here fitting a criminal profile, I would know about it.
- DANGERESQUE: Look, there's a big empty pedestal over there that previously displayed something I wanted to take! I mean, protake! Protect!
- PROFILER: {Indian accent} Sorry, must not have been very important.
[edit] Informant → Perducci
- DANGERESQUE: I'm looking for a man named PERDUCCI! {Shakes his fist}
- PROFILER: {Indian accent} Well, what can you tell me about him?
- DANGERESQUE: Hmm... he's fat, wears a blue suit, dumb hat, crusty white beard and mustache... and smells a bit like peppermint and gravy.
- PROFILER: {Indian accent} This sounds like desperate man! He's frightened, and may have gone into hiding.
- DANGERESQUE: So how can I find him?
- PROFILER: {Irish accent} He's probably trying to blend into the crowd. Perhaps in a place where EVERYONE wears funny hats and smells a bit minty.
- DANGERESQUE: Sooo... Ireland?
[edit] Informant → Sultry Buttons
- DANGERESQUE: I'm trying to catch a beautiful jewel thief. Got any tips?
- PROFILER: {Normal voice} Hmm. If you want to impress a lady, try leaving flowers in a place you know she'll be!
[edit] Informant → Painting
- {Note that Painting → Informant has the same effect}
- DANGERESQUE: {pulls out the painting} What can you tell me about a man who would steal something like this?
- PROFILER: {Indian accent} Oh, my! That's... well, anyone who steals that is highly disturbed! Strangely, that same painting appears in an old case file of mine I wrote way back in the Fall of 1963.
- DANGERESQUE: {puts the photo away} Wow, that IS a coincidence!
[edit] Blueprints → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the blueprints} What do you make of this?
- PROFILER: {Indian accent} A man who keeps blueprints is a man who always knows where to hide.
[edit] Large Knife → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the knife} What do you make of this?
- PROFILER: {Indian accent} The person who uses this as a weapon is very dangerous. {Sniffs} And wears French perfume.
[edit] Small Rock → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the rock} What do you make of this?
- PROFILER: {Indian accent} Hmm... it seems to be covered in soy sauce, probably a messy eater.
[edit] Certain items → Informant
- DANGERESQUE: {Turns to camera} I don't want this guy lookin' at too much of my stuff. Nobody profiles Dangeresque!
[edit] Podium
- DANGERESQUE: {reading} The Diamond-Tipped Diamond. {Normally} I heard this thing can cut through just about every material known to man! It's probably what Sultry Buttons used to cut through the security glass to steal it... somehow.
[edit] Sultry Buttons
- Only appears if the Stickanee flower was left on the podium the last time Strong Bad was here
- DANGERESQUE: I knew you couldn't stay away.
- SULTRY BUTTONS: {Holding up the flower} A Stickanee flower? In Paris? You do care!
- DANGERESQUE: You know it, baby. Dangeresque NEVER forgets his special lady, baby.
- SULTRY BUTTONS: Do you mean it? {Turns away} I WON'T have my heart broken again.
- DANGERESQUE: Of course! Why, I'd shower you with gems, if I had any.
- SULTRY BUTTONS: Ooh, I have some! {Turns back and holds up the ruby and the diamond} Take mine!
- DANGERESQUE: Oh no, I couldn't— well okay. {Takes them}
- SULTRY BUTTONS: So go ahead! Shower me with priceless jewels!
- DANGERESQUE: Not here, my sweet. Meet me in Hawai'i at sunrise.
- SULTRY BUTTONS: How romantic! Don't keep me waiting. {Leaves}
- DANGERESQUE: Well THAT'S somewhere I'm never going to go. I gotta get this ruby back to Professor Experimento! And I guess I should hang on to these other rare gems as well. You know, for safe keeping... in a sock... under my bed.
[edit] Nunchuck Gun → Sultry Buttons
- DANGERESQUE: {Whipping out the nunchuck gun} Hold it right there, lady!
- SULTRY BUTTONS: Don't shoot!
- DANGERESQUE: Give me one good reason not to!
- SULTRY BUTTONS: Because I love you, Dangeresque!
- DANGERESQUE: {Puts the nunchuck gun away} Of course you do, baby. But like I told you before, Dangeresque is here for ALL the ladies to enjoy.
[edit] General
[edit] After encountering Sultry Buttons at the Secret Lab
- If the podium is empty
- {Sultry Buttons is standing by the podium. After a pause, she walks away, just as Dangeresque comes running up}
- DANGERESQUE: {every other time a city is entered} Wait, Sultry! Man, I gotta find a way to get here before she leaves.
- If the Stickanee flower is on the podium, every location save Paris
- DANGERESQUE: Ah-ha! I'm finally in time to catch up with Sultry Buttons! But she doesn't look very happy. Maybe I should wait until she leaves.
[edit] In extended play
- ON-SCREEN CAPTION: Behind the Scenes: Exotic Locales
- STRONG BAD: Okay, you guys are NOT gonna believe this, but all those exotic countries I visited in the movie were actually right here at the Stone Bridge! {Pans right to show all the location backdrops present. Pans back to Strong Bad} I know! I can hardly believe it myself! Let's take a look around.
[edit] Informant
In extended play
- STRONG SAD: Thanks for letting me write Perducci's backstory in exchange for being in your movie! I've created a rich history for the character that has him {Italian accent} touching the lives of many important people in history!
- STRONG BAD: Hey, no accents! That was the deal! And no touching people, either!
- STRONG SAD: {Normal voice} Oh, all right.
- STRONG BAD: So what do you think of all these fantastic backdrops? Really creates the illusion of reality, right?
- STRONG SAD: Well, they look pretty good, but the historical accuracy is off in several places. The Eiffel Tower, for example, is actually 300.51 meters tall, or 986 feet—
- STRONG BAD: {Interrupting} Yeah, you're fired.
- STRONG SAD: Awww.
[edit] At intervals while in scene
- INFORMANT: Something I can help you with, stranger?
- INFORMANT: Hey, over here.
- INFORMANT: Psst. You need some information?
[edit] After speaking to all five Informants
- Plays in any location when pressing cancel on the Informant. Strong Bad must have talked to at least the brothers in Japan and either Cairo or Ireland about the painting.
- {First time only}
- DANGERESQUE: I can't believe I haven't found Perducci! yet. I've already been to five different countries and talked to five of these stupid brothers! But wait! Stinky said he only had THREE brothers! Something is fishy. One of these guys is lying, and when I figure out who it is, I'm gonna pull out my trusty nunchuck gun, {pulls out the gun} poke it into their doughy belly, and nunchuck gun the crap out of them until they give up the info I need! {Puts the gun away} No one protects Perducci! in my town and gets away with it!
- {Second time only}
- DANGERESQUE: {Imitating a phone} Bring! {Pulls out the VCR} Hang on, I gotta take this. {Into the VCR} You got Dangeresque. Who is this?
- BARON DARIN DIAMONOCLE: {voiceover} Danger-skew! I just got an important tip concerning Perducci! Apparently he's passing himself off as some kind of underwoild informant!
- DANGERESQUE: Informant? I just brutally interrogated a bunch of those guys!
- BARON DARIN DIAMONOCLE: {voiceover} Well, find out which one's been lying to you! That's your guy!
- DANGERESQUE: Thanks for the tip, Diamonocle.
- BUBS: {voiceover, breaking character} And here's another tip: If you need that extra boost of energy but don't want all the sugar, Diet Bull Honkey brand Caffienergy Sauce is— {Dangeresque hangs up the VCR}
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulls out the nunchuck gun} Looks like the zookeeper's gotta clear the muffins outta the pantry!
[edit] Nunchuck Gun → Informant
- Before speaking to all the Informants, and then after unveiling Perducci
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the nunchuck gun} Freeze, dirt scum!
- INFORMANT: What? What did I do?
- DANGERESQUE: Ah, nothing. I just love doing that.
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the nunchuck gun} Don't move, scumbag... butt!
- INFORMANT: I'm NOT moving.
- DANGERESQUE: Okay. Very good.
- After the After speaking to all five Informants sequence above has played
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the nunchuck gun} Hold it right there, meat pie! Why are you lyin' to me?
- INFORMANT: What are you talking about?
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the nunchuck gun} Going somewhere?
- INFORMANT: Not really, I pretty much just stay here.
- DANGERESQUE: So stay there! And tell me why your story doesn't add up!
- INFORMANT: What part doesn't make sense?
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the nunchuck gun. Over-emphasising plosives} Are you protecting Perducci?
- INFORMANT: What?
- DANGERESQUE: Your story is full of lies that have holes in them!
- INFORMANT: What part?
- DANGERESQUE: {Pulling out the nunchuck gun} Looks like I caught me a big fat liar!
- INFORMANT: Me? What makes you think I'm lying?
[edit] Nunchuck Gun → Informant → 1963
- Venetian brother
- DANGERESQUE: The painting wasn't stolen in 1963!
- STINKY THE PEEVE: That's not true! My brother in Paris knows all about it! Ask him!
- DANGERESQUE: Okay, okay, you story check out. This time. {Puts the nunchuck gun away}
- Irish and Parisian brothers
- DANGERESQUE: The painting wasn't stolen in 1963!
- CECIL VAN GOUGH/PROFILER: Was too! Check with my brother in Venice! He can back it up!
- DANGERESQUE: Yeah, I may just do that! But I probably won't since you're right. {Puts the nunchuck gun away}
- Cairene and Tokyo-mon brothers
- DANGERESQUE: The painting wasn't stolen in 1963!
- MOVING MAN/STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: I don't know anything about that.
- DANGERESQUE: Are you sure that wasn't you? I get you guys confused. All right, forget I was ever here. {Puts the nunchuck gun away}
[edit] Nunchuck Gun → Informant → Mummy
- Irish brother
- DANGERESQUE: The painting wasn't stolen from any Mummy's Tomb!
- CECIL VAN GOUGH: Yes it was! Check with my brother in Cairo if you don't believe me!
- DANGERESQUE: Hmm, okay, I do kinda remember that. {Puts the nunchuck gun away}
- Cairene brother
- DANGERESQUE: The painting wasn't stolen from any Mummy's Tomb!
- MOVING MAN: I'm afraid it was! Just ask my brother in {Irish accent} Ireland!
- DANGERESQUE: Oh, right. I forgot. {Puts the nunchuck gun away}
- Venetian, Parisian and Tokyo-mon brothers
- DANGERESQUE: The painting wasn't stolen from any Mummy's Tomb!
- STINKY THE PEEVE/PROFILER/STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: I don't know anything about that.
- DANGERESQUE: Are you sure that wasn't you? I get you guys confused. All right, forget I was ever here. {Puts the nunchuck gun away}
[edit] Nunchuck Gun → Informant → Ancient Temple
- Tokyo-mon brother
- If Strong Bad has spoken to only one of the Cairene or Irish brothers
- DANGERESQUE: The painting wasn't stolen from any Ancient Temple!
- STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: So?
- DANGERESQUE: So, one of the brothers told me this painting was stolen from a Mummy's Tomb!
- STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: Got anyone who can back that up? How do you know HE'S not the liar?
- DANGERESQUE: Hmm, good point. {Puts the nunchuck gun away}
- If Strong Bad has spoken to only one of the Cairene or Irish brothers
- If Strong Bad has spoken both the Cairene and Irish brothers
- DANGERESQUE: The painting wasn't stolen from any Ancient Temple!
- STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: So?
- DANGERESQUE: So, you told me that you helped Perducci steal the painting from an Ancient Temple in Japan, but that is clearly not true, because TWO of the brothers told me this painting was stolen from a Mummy's Tomb! You're not one of the brothers! {Over-emphasizing plosives} Why are you protecting Perducci?
- STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: Very clever, Dangeresque. You have seen through my carefully-crafted ruse. I'm not protecting Perducci... {Close-up on Dangeresque, then back to... Perducci!}
- PERDUCCI: I AM Perducci! Now kindly give me back my painting!
- DANGERESQUE: {Puts the nunchuck gun away and gets out the painting} What's so important about this painting?
- PERDUCCI: Just give it!
- {They struggle over the painting. Eventually, Perducci gets the painting, but in the process, a disk flicks out and flies up into the air.}
- DANGERESQUE & PERDUCCI: The disk!
- {Close-up on Strong Bad's hand as he catches the disk.}
- DANGERESQUE: Ah-ha! You lose again, Perducci!
- PERDUCCI: I knew I shouldn't have stashed the painting under that bridge! You may have beaten me this time, Dangeresque, but I'll be back! {Laughs}
- THE KING OF TOWN: {Breaks character} Aaand, scene! Well, that's it for me. I'll see you at the premiere! If you need me for pick-ups, call my agent! {Leaves}
- If Strong Bad has spoken both the Cairene and Irish brothers
- Venetian, Irish, Cairene and Parisian brothers
- DANGERESQUE: The painting wasn't stolen from any Ancient Temple!
- STINKY THE PEEVE/CECIL VAN GOUGH/MOVING MAN/PROFILER: I don't know anything about that.
- DANGERESQUE: Are you sure that wasn't you? I get you guys confused. All right, forget I was ever here. {Puts the nunchuck gun away}
[edit] Nunchuck Gun → Informant → Fall
- Cairene brother
- DANGERESQUE: The painting wasn't stolen in the Fall!
- MOVING MAN: That's not true! My brother in Paris knows all about it! Ask him!
- DANGERESQUE: Okay, okay, you story check out. This time. {Puts the nunchuck gun away}
- Parisian brother
- DANGERESQUE: The painting wasn't stolen in the Fall!
- PROFILER: Yes it was! Check with my brother in Cairo if you don't believe me!
- DANGERESQUE: Hmm, okay, I do kinda remember that. {Puts the nunchuck gun away}
- Venetian, Irish and Tokyo-mon brothers
- DANGERESQUE: The painting wasn't stolen in the Fall!
- STINKY THE PEEVE/CECIL VAN GOUGH/STOOLEY RAT WEASEL: I don't know anything about that.
- DANGERESQUE: Are you sure that wasn't you? I get you guys confused. All right, forget I was ever here. {Puts the nunchuck gun away}
[edit] Ireland Backdrop
- Extended play only
- STRONG BAD: I've never been to Ireland, but this is pretty much what I think it looks like. {Close-up of the backdrop} Some sheep hangin' out, lots of green grass. You know, some, like, video-game hills in the back. And like a big o' chimney stickin' out one of them... for no reason.
[edit] Mount Fuji Backdrop
- Extended play only
- STRONG BAD: Is it just me, or does that mountain look a lot like Strong Sad?
- STRONG SAD: I do not look like a mountain!
- {Long shot showing Strong Sad and Mount Fuji side-by-side}
- STRONG BAD: I dunno, man, I definitely see the resemblance. Eh? Eh? Yep!
[edit] Mustache
- Extended play only
- STRONG BAD: I'm gonna need that mustache back. It's an official movie prop that I'll probably end up selling in an online auction later! {Rips mustache off Strong Sad}
- STRONG SAD: Oww!
- STRONG BAD: Eww, this thing's been all yucked up with Strong Sad's Frenchiness. I gotta remember to clean it before I return it to Wardrobe!
[edit] Painting
- Appears in the first non-Venice location visited
- DANGERESQUE: Hmmm, my superior detectiving skills have detected something stashed under this bridge! {Pulls it out, revealing it to be the Painting of a Guy with a Big Knife} Ah-ha! This is the same painting that Perducci had with him when I completely obliterated him at that card game. {Puts the painting away} I wonder what it's doing here.
[edit] Podium
- In extended play
- STRONG BAD: Intriguing.
- STRONG BAD: Whoa.
- STRONG BAD: Awesome.
[edit] River
- DANGERESQUE: Ah, the mighty river of... this country. So majestic and... wet.
[edit] Branch → River
- DANGERESQUE: {Dipping the branch into the river} I'll just dip this stick into the river like the script says, and... {Finds a lunch box, puts the branch away} Whoa, check this out! That's right, nerds! Your non-dairy, low-sugar, gluten-free lunch will be bully-proof with an official Killingyouguy lunch box! {Quietly and quickly} Copyright, trademarked and FDA-approved by Strong Bad.
