Cheat Commandos Tactics

From Homestar Runner Wiki

"This game woulda ruled!"

Cheat Commandos Tactics is an abandoned Videlectrix game. It is likely a turn-based tactics genre game, similar to Advance Wars, given that some graphics are "temporarily swiped" from that game. The player would control Cheat Commandos (or at least Fightgar) and view occasional cutscenes. Strong Bad posted a video of it on his Twitter account on November 6, 2018. It is unknown when the game was started or abandoned. Nothing is known about the game besides the video.

Cast: Fightgar, Gunhaver, Silent Rip

Places: The Desert

[edit] Gameplay

The video does not show many elements of gameplay. It starts with a top-down view of a map with Fightgar on it. The map is mostly green, with some mountains and a vertical gray bridge in the center. The graphics are pixelated, and the music is from the opening of Cheat Commandos...O's. As the mouse cursor hovers over the map tiles, a gray box in the top-left corner shows what type of tile it is. There are three known types of tiles: "plain", "mountain", and "bridge". When the cursor hovers over the character, some statistics appear: HP (short for "Not Dead Points"), AP (short for "Awesomeness Points"), and level.

When the character is clicked, a list of options appears: Move, Attack, Status, Wait, Cancel. In the video, "Attack" is shown to be unclickable, presumably as there is nothing to attack. "Status" gives a more detailed list of statistics, including the character's speed and defense. The player can click "Back" to exit this screen. Clicking on "Move" causes the four tiles orthogonally adjacent (not diagonal) to Fightgar to glow blue, and the player may click one of those tiles to move there. The player can click "Cancel" to cancel this action. It is unknown exactly what the other options do.

[edit] Fightgar's Statistics

• Level: 20
• Not Dead Points: 44/44
• Awesome Points: 20/24
• Fastness: 1
• Farness: 2
• Hurtness: 5
• Defendness: 2

[edit] Cutscene Demo

"Do I get paid double for voicing both of these Gunholders?"

{Slow fade-in to the desert. Music from the commercial portion of the Cheat Commandos toon plays. Gunhaver slides in from the left. The graphics are slightly pixelated, and the words are not spoken, but subtitled in a gray box below. A "NEXT" button is in the corner of the box, which the player can click to advance the conversation.}

GUNHAVER: CCDO's! Walk into this room alert!

{Silent Rip slides in from the right}

SILENT RIP: This is a desert.

{A second Silent Rip slides in from the right, behind the first one}

SECOND SILENT RIP: Gunahver! They're repainting and rebranding us so they can sell us at Big Lots!

{A second Gunhaver slides in from the left, behind the first one}

SECOND GUNHAVER: Do I get paid double for voicing both of these Gunholders?

{While the second Gunhaver speaks, the main Cheat Commandos theme with lyrics starts playing}

{The first Gunhaver slides offscreen to the left, and the first Silent Rip slides offscreen to the right}

SECOND SILENT RIP: Wanna go get ramen?

SECOND GUNHAVER: I'm mostly down with that.

{The second Silent Rip slides offscreen to the right, and the second Gunhaver slides offscreen to the left. The cutscene ends just as the song ends.}

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Inside References

• The statistics contain "Not Dead Points" and "Awesomeness Points".
• The cutscene demo contains duplicate characters.
• Gunhaver's name is flubbed once again.

[edit] Real-World References

• Silent Rip mentions Big Lots.

[edit] External Links

• View Tweet