Homestar Ruiner Responses (The Field)

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"You're beautiful."

Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from The Field in Homestar Ruiner.

On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.


A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.


Contents

Bubs' Concession Stand

Box

STRONG BAD: {first time} Box peering guy— hey! {finds a Snake Boxer V manual page}

STRONG BAD: {each time thereafter} Nothin'. Guess this isn't one of those infinitely-replenishable boxes like you see in video games. You know, like with a health pack or some shields.

Sign

STRONG BAD: Bubs' Concession Stand is our one-stop shopping center-slash repair shop-slash internet provider. If I ever had any money, I'd probably buy something.

STRONG BAD: Yup, the concession stand is still there.

STRONG BAD: I don't know why they call it a concession stand. Bubs never conceded anything in his whole miserable gigantic-mark-up life!

When entering the scene

BUBS: Hey, hey hey! Step right up and trade your money for some stuff!

BUBS: Wanna buy something? Everybody wanna buy something!

BUBS: Hey, You! With the face!

{only when the shipment of Total Load is available}
BUBS: Hey, Strong Bad, I got something for ya!

When leaving the scene

BUBS: Tell your friends!

BUBS: See ya later, customator!

BUBS: Come back soon!

Bubs

STRONG BAD: Bubs!
BUBS: Strong Bad, shouldn't you be beating the snot out of Homestar or something?
STRONG BAD: How do you know about that?
BUBS: I'm your internet provider man. I read all your email!

STRONG BAD: Bubs!
BUBS: Strong Bad!

Bubs → Bubs

STRONG BAD: How's the fast paced world of concession stand, um, standing?
BUBS: Bizness is biz-nasty!

Bubs → Bubs → Angel

STRONG BAD: Have you lost weight?
BUBS: I sure have! This green stripe here is actually one of them weight loss jiggle belts. Want one?
STRONG BAD: Um, no. Thanks for implyin' that I'm fat, though.
BUBS: Hey, no problem!

STRONG BAD: The stand's looking great, Bubs!
BUBS: Ain't it though! I had three new coats of bug spray put on the walls last week.
STRONG BAD: I thought I smelled carcinogens!
BUBS: That means its working!

Bubs → Bubs → Devil

STRONG BAD: Good grief, Bubs, you've really let yourself go.
BUBS: Hey man, I've got a glandular problem!
STRONG BAD: More like a gravy boat problem...

STRONG BAD: Man, Bubs, when are you gonna fix up this dump?
BUBS: I suppose you could do better?
STRONG BAD: Strong sad could do better... with one arm tied behind his back... and one of them black hostage baggies over his head...
STRONG SAD: {pokes out from the side of the concession stand, wearing one of them black hostage baggies over his head} I'm here for all your concessionary needs...
BUBS: Now that's just ignorant, mean, and only mostly true, Strong Bad.

Bubs → Candy

The same response is received for using the Coupon on Bubs
STRONG BAD: Hook me up with some of the delicious free candy, Bubs!
BUBS: Awesome!
STRONG BAD: Mmmmm, ChocoOpps! ... What the crap are ChocoOpps?
BUBS: Chocolate-covered organic packing peanuts!
STRONG BAD: Chocolate-covered organic packing peanuts?! What kind of candy is that?
BUBS: The kind of candy that I give away to people for free, dummy!

STRONG BAD: I'll take another box of ChocoOpps my good man.
BUBS: What happened to the last one I gave you?
STRONG BAD: I, um, threw it down a hole.
BUBS: Hey, why didn't I think of that? Here! Feel free to throw this one down a hole, too!

STRONG BAD: Another box?
BUBS: Aroo got it!

STRONG BAD:
BUBS: What happened to the last one I gave you?
STRONG BAD: I, um, threw it down a hole.
BUBS: Here!
STRONG BAD: Really?
BUBS: Yeah, that stuff's really starting to stink up the joint.

STRONG BAD: Funny thing about that candy—
BUBS: Another hole?
STRONG BAD: They're like, everywhere!
BUBS: Here!
STRONG BAD: Thanks, Bubs.

STRONG BAD: Another candy?
BUBS: Here ya go!

Bubs → Hedge Shears

STRONG BAD: Marzipan sent me to pick up her hedge shears.
BUBS: She did? Well that's just awesome! I've got 'em all fixed up and ready to go!
STRONG BAD: Whoah, these are pretty sweet!
BUBS: You said it! I've totally rebuilt them with my patented Gyroscopic Ocho-Track Blade Action and passenger side airbag! Guaranteed to shave a shrub smoother than a baby's bottom!
STRONG BAD: These are way too cool for Marzipan... I think I'll give 'em a test drive or ten before I give 'em back to her.

Bubs → Total Load

Before the shipment has arrived
STRONG BAD: Has my order of Total Load Total Body Fitness Energy Enhancement Powder arrived yet?
BUBS: Total Load? Nope.
STRONG BAD: That total-ly sucks!

STRONG BAD: Any sign of my Total Load Total Body Fitness Enhancement Powder yet?
BUBS: Nope.
STRONG BAD: Grr. I'm starting to question my policy of responding to random spam.
When the shipment has arrived
STRONG BAD: Has my shipment of Total Load Total Body Fitness Energy Enhancement Powder shown up yet?
BUBS: Total Load? Nope.
STRONG BAD: What? That's so—
BUBS: Oh, what, here it is!
STRONG BAD: All right! Total Load, the Total Body Fitness Energy Enhancement Powder used by all my favorite disgraced athletes!

Bubs → Snake Boxer

STRONG BAD: Please tell me you've got my Snake Boxer 5 Manual...
BUBS: Snake what now?
STRONG BAD: Aaaaaah!
BUBS: Oh, Snake Boxer 5! Here ya go!

Bubs → Cancel

STRONG BAD: Gotta run, bye!
BUBS: Come back soon. We're always awesome!

STRONG BAD: Smell ya later, Bubs!
BUBS: Stay gold, Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: So long, Bubs!
BUBS: So long, people!

Tutorial

When entering the scene

STRONG BAD: Hey Bubs! I heard my stupid brother was down here—
BUBS: Hi Strong Bad! Here is your laptop computer—
STRONG BAD: Bubs, what are you doing? That part comes at the end of the tutorial. You're supposed to be sad in this part.
BUBS: I am? Oh yeah, right.
STRONG BAD: Why do I even bother with rehearsals?
BUBS: {flatly} Hi Strong Bad. I'm feeling so sad today that I think I am just gonna close up and go home.
STRONG BAD: No Bubs, wait! I need The Lappy!
STRONG BAD: {to audience} If I want this guy to cooperate, I'd better change his mood! There are usually a variety of ways to change people's moods. You'll figure this out as you go. Generally I find kissing up or breaking their stuff usually gets the desired response. In this case, go ahead and give ol' blue head a compliment to cheer him up.

Bubs → Bubs → Devil

STRONG BAD: Wow Bubs, you sure have gotten fat!
BUBS: No I haven't, I'm just smuggling cantaloupes past the border under my shirt!

Bubs → Bubs → Angel

STRONG BAD: Cheer up Bubs, at least you're not on fire!
BUBS: {cross} That's the best compliment you could come up with?
STRONG BAD: Just stick to the script!
BUBS: {monotone} Thanks muscular Strong Bad. I feel much better.

Bubs → Lappy (before compliment)

STRONG BAD: Hey Bubs, have you seen my Lappy around here?
BUBS: I don't know Strong Bad. Apparently I'm too sad to look around for it. Maybe if I were in a better mood.

Bubs → Lappy (after compliment)

STRONG BAD: Did my dumpy little brother bring my laptop computer to you?
BUBS: He sure did. He tried to pawn it to get money for some kind of foot replacement surgery, but I know how much pirated software you've got on there, so I kept it for you.
STRONG BAD: Lucky you did, or both you and Strong Sad would be in for a world of hurtings from me! The awesome one! The Strong Bad!
STRONG BAD: {facetiously} All right! I got my Lappy back! So there you go folks, that should be everything you need to know to play this best game ever. Now get out there and have some fun at the expense of others. And don't make me look bad! Er, good— Don't make me look good. I got a bad reputation to uphold.
BUBS: Hey, where's my money? I'm getting paid for this, right?

Strong Badia

Dirt Pile

STRONG BAD: That empty hole reminds me of Homestar's giant hollow head.

Flag

STRONG BAD: Ah, the Strong Badian Flag...or Old Snakes and Tires and Knives and..Brown. As the colonists used to call it.

Shovel → Treasure Marker

STRONG BAD: All right, Strong Badia, prepare to cough up your ancient mysteries! {digs} Whoa dang! Hey, it's one of my cool ideas for Teen Girl Squad! Drawn on an apparently somewhat metallic notecard...

Sign

STRONG BAD: {first time only} This is the sign that totally notifies all trespassers that they have officially entered Strong Badia: The place where the tropical breezes blow...in theory.

STRONG BAD: "Strong Badia. Population: Tire." Truer words were never hastily spray-painted.

Treasure Marker

STRONG BAD: That's one of my Taranchula Black Metal Detector ball markers, used to keep track of where potential buried treasure is — buried.

Tire

STRONG BAD: {first time only} Hail, First Citizen Tire. How fair things in the glorious Republic of Strong Badia?
{camera slowly zooms in on the tire}
STRONG BAD: Very good. Carry on then.

STRONG BAD: You ever get lonely, Tire? I oughta get you an old rusty tailpipe to spend your twilight years with.

Cool Car

Cool Car

STRONG BAD: This is our go to vehicle for pretend high speed chases, pretend road trips, and oh so real make out sessions.

Shovel → Cool Car

First time
STRONG BAD: {uses the shovel to pry open the hood} {grunting} Ahh! Hey what's this? Oh, so that's where I left cool idea for Teen Girl Squad note card! Boy are those girls gonna get something'd now.
Subsequent times
STRONG BAD: Nah, If I scratch the finish anymore, Bubs will get all cheesed off.

Photo Booth

Photo Booth Entry

STRONG BAD: Hmm. I wonder what's going on behind this curtain...
STRONG BAD: {enters the photo booth} Woah, this place is way roomier on the inside, it's like it distorts time and space.. {walks to the left, revealing that the wall is cut away and open space lies on behind it} oh, hi space.

Photo Booth Exit

STRONG BAD: That's enough modelling for today.

STRONG BAD: Chatcha' on the flipside, The Cheat!

The Cheat

THE CHEAT: Mrhms mhersmr meh?
STRONG BAD: Yeah I want my picture taken!
THE CHEAT: Merzhe mhr mer zhe megr. Mzhr zhemr merzhsma. Mrhzer zheme rhemerzema. Mrhmeh merh meh zmeh ...
STRONG: BAD: Hang on, I'm gonna need some help. The Paper, take a note! {The Paper comes down, containing instructions for using the photo booth}

Box

STRONG BAD: I wonder if there's something under— Yes!
STRONG BAD: So that's where I left my Data Boys polo shirt! I better stow that in my, um, virtual photo booth wardrobe for safe keeping.

{after having gotten the shirt}
STRONG BAD: Nothin'. You disappoint me, box.

Whale

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Whoo-hooo!

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Welcome to Blubb-O's!

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: For a new dynamic, please drive through!
STRONG BAD: I'm not through with the old one yet!

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Would you like monkeys with that?
STRONG BAD: No. No I would not.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Special orders can be upsetting.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Please smile for the Blubb-O's satellite camera!
STRONG BAD: {seen from high up} {camera shutter sound} What the-?
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Thank you!

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: In the event of a firestorm, the salad bar will remain open.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: I've got your nostrum right here.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: When the End Times come, we will all dance the Conga of the Apocalypse.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: If you are dissatisfied with our service, please accept our invitation to bite me.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: We've eliminated the competition, now it's your turn!
STRONG BAD: Yikes!

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Will you be my candy-colored valentine?
STRONG BAD: I don't think so.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Always double-down with a king in the hole.
STRONG BAD: Hey, thanks for the tip!

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: "Nurer" spelled backwards is "rerun."
STRONG BAD: Deep... Deeply stupid.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Lighten up, jumpy jumperson.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: And now, a promotion...
BUBS: Come on down to Bubs Concession Stand, everybodys. We got all that and then some.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Blubb-O Incorpoarted advocates a balanced diet of Blubb-O's fish products and Fluffy-Puff Jela-Ton(tm) flavored gelatin, made from 100% genuine powdered whale fat.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: You can't get ahead until you get a head.
STRONG BAD: How zen...whale zen!

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Sever you head, please. It's the greatest day.

(Note: In the WiiWare version, all dialogue from "We've eliminated the competition..." is absent.)

The Stick

The Stick

STRONG BAD: It's The Stick! {fanfare}
STRONG BAD: Keep on sticking it out, sticky.

STRONG BAD: It's The Stick! {fanfare}
STRONG BAD: And, that's about all there is.

Brick Wall

STRONG BAD: Hi, pointless wall! {high pitched, covering mouth} Hi, Strong Bad!

Hedge

Hedge

Before trimming
STRONG BAD: Jeez, that hedge looks like it has been beat about the face with an ugly stick. Not you The Stick. You're beautiful, man.
After trimming
STRONG BAD: Behold, the Flying V! I'd shred up some squeedlies right now, but my furious fists might catch the hedge on fire.

Hedge Shears → Hedge

STRONG BAD: This hedge is the disease... and I'm the placebo... {trims the hedge into the shape of a Gibson Flying V} Now that's a hedge I'd be proud to accompany to the Sadie Hawkins dance!
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