The Next April Fools Thing

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Jump to: navigation, search
Toon Category: Holiday Toon
watch Decemberween Dangeresque Mr. Poofers Must Die
"And then... and then... and then..."

A little girl suggests the next April Fools' joke.

Cast (in order of appearance): Folly, Bubs, Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Strong Sad, Marzipan, The Cheat, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Homsar, The Poopsmith, Pom Pom, The King of Town, Stinkoman, Character 1 (YouTube only)

Places (in order of appearance): The Field, Computer Room, Locker Room, Strong Mad's Room, Basement of the Brothers Strong, Bubs' Concession Stand

Computer: Lappier

Date: Sunday, April 1, 2018

Running Time: 7:30 (official), 6:52 (actual), 7:07 (YouTube)

Page Title: How Long Does it Load Again?

Contents

[edit] Transcript

{The scene opens in the Field. Folly enters and looks toward the camera.}

FOLLY: For the next April Fools' thing, why doesn't it do, like, there's a picnic...

{A rolled-up picnic blanket appears and unrolls itself.}

FOLLY: ...and there's like... and there's a bunch of food in it...

{An apple, a sandwich, a bag of "CH'P", a second sandwich, and a pie appear on the blanket.}

FOLLY: ...and a picnic basket...

{All the food moves together and a basket appears around it.}

FOLLY: ...and... {considers} then Bubs is like...

{Bubs appears next to the basket.}

FOLLY and BUBS: {both waving their arms} Picnic! Picnic! Picnic!

FOLLY: And then Homestar shows up and says "blah"!

{Homestar walks up.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Blah.

FOLLY: And then Strong Bad shows up and says "blah"!

{Strong Bad flies in from over the bushes in the background and lands on the blanket.}

STRONG BAD: Blah.

FOLLY: And then everybody shows up and says "blah"!

{The camera cuts back a little to show all the other main characters standing nearby.}

ALL BUT FOLLY, BUBS, HOMESTAR, STRONG BAD, and THE POOPSMITH: Blah!

{Cut back in so those characters are offscreen. Homestar and Strong Bad are no longer present.}

FOLLY: And then Bubs is like "I'm closing the shop! Nobody's buying this picnic!"

{Bubs disappears into the basket, and the blanket rolls up around the basket and disappears.}

FOLLY: And then, and then, and then there's a loading sign...

{Scene cuts to a loading screen, using the same drawing style and colors as Folly. The letters of "loading" grow and shrink in sequence.}

FOLLY: {voiceover} ...and it loads for, like, one hundred seconds, and then, and then... and...

{A timer appears under the "loading sign" and counts the seconds.}

FOLLY: {voiceover, apparently unsure how to continue} ...and it loads for one hundred seconds, and th—... and then it's like... and... and then it... and then... and then it's like... {the audio repeats:} and it loads for one hundred seconds... and th—... and then it's like...

{As the timer reaches "00:25", abrupt cut to the computer room. Strong Bad is in front of the Lappier.}

STRONG BAD: {rhythmically} If I can't check my email, then how I'm supposed to live my life? {brings up an email}

{Strong Bad reads the greeting as "Dingle Dongle dear Stringle Bongle".}

STRONG BAD: Oh, that is a waste of a perfectly good middle "B" initial, Mollie! Lemme fix that for ya! {edits the name to:} Sincerely, Mollie B. Chowdwerworth Gruelmanger. You know, of the Puntington Farms Gruelmangers. {moves his cursor down next to the prompt} There we go. {typing} For motivation, I do what any great coach does, and berate myself until I get results or until I quit the team and press charges!

{Cut to the locker room, as Strong Bad shouts into a mirror:}

STRONG BAD: Chowderworth Gruelmanger?! You call that an overly-complicated old-timey last name?! That is bush-league, son! I am sick and tired of this crap! And I'm sick of losing to Purdue!

{Cut back to show Coach Z standing nearby, twirling a jock strap.}

COACH Z: Now that fella really knows how to mortavort a porson.

{Cut back to the Lappier}

STRONG BAD: {typing} There's also that weird jocked-up thing of punching yourself in the face to get motivated. But unless you happen to have boxing gloves for hands, I wouldn't recommend it.

{Cut to Strong Mad sitting at a table next to a glass of orange juice.}

STRONG MAD: YOU CAN DO IT, STRONG MAD. {pounds the table} YOU CAN TALK TO ORANGE JUICE!

{He winds up his right fist, aimed at himself. Strong Bad leans in.}

STRONG BAD: No, Strong Mad, wait—

{Strong Mad punches himself in the face and falls offscreen. Strong Bad winces as he lands. Cut back to the Lappier.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} But if you can afford it, no force is more motivational than...spiky ceiling that closes in on you!

{Cut to the basement of the Brothers Strong. Strong Sad is holding a video game controller and looking panicked, as Strong Bad coaches him and a spiky ceiling slowly descends over them.}

STRONG BAD: You better beat this end boss or we're all gonna die! We're all gonna die!

STRONG SAD: {frantically hitting buttons} Aah! It keeps making me jump when I'm not pressing juuuuuuump!!

STRONG BAD: Or we're all gonna diiiii—

{One of the spikes pokes into Strong Bad's head. Cut back to the Lappier.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} As for the inspirasche, you know how people always say, {mockingly} "inspiration sneaks up on you." Well, I like-a to turn the tables!

{Cut to Bubs in his Concession Stand, waving his arms back and forth. Strong Bad tiptoes behind it.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} I sneak up on people and force them to inspire me!

{Strong Bad peeks around the side of the Stand.}

BUBS: Well, I'll just continue doing what I was just doing, and...

{Strong Bad jumps out in front of Bubs.}

STRONG BAD: INSPIRE ME!

BUBS: Aaah! Mlg— leg boats!

{Strong Bad lowers his eyelids, unimpressed.}

STRONG BAD: Leg boats? That all ya got?

BUBS: Er, yeah! It's like a little boat that your legs go inside of!

STRONG BAD: So it's a kayak.

BUBS: No, no. For while you're standing up.

STRONG BAD: So it's water skis.

BUBS: Yeah, yeah. 'Cept it's called "leg boats".

STRONG BAD: That's not inspiring! {starts to walk off} Guess I'll just walk away and {quickly jumps back} {rapidly} no I'm not just kidding INSPIRE ME!

BUBS: Aaah! File!

STRONG BAD: Yeah?

BUBS: Um... folder...

STRONG BAD: Yeeeeah?

BUBS: ...shaped vitamins?

STRONG BAD: Now that's inspiring!

{Cut to a bottle of "Smarty Juice File Folder Shaped Vitamins".}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Yes, File Folder Shaped Vitamins: because office workers lead hollow lives, and this is the kind of thing they'd be into.

{A few "vitamins" appear. A different tagline appears under the bottle: "Great for the break room or maybe a desk drawer!". Cut back to the Lappier.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} You see Madam Chowdygruel, if you know the right techniques, you too can motivate and inspire gimmicky white-collar products that they sell in the checkout line at the office supply store. Oooh! Which just inspired me to think of—

{A page slides in from the left, covering the screen. Several advertisements are visible, including an ad for the vitamins and, next to it, an ad for "File Folder Shaped Vitamin Shaped Thumbdrive!!", with a picture of a USB thumb drive that looks like a red vitamin.}

STRONG BAD: —File Folder Shaped Vitamin Shaped Thumbdrives! Available in never show up on your desktop {text is added underneath the drive reading "*Never show up on your desktop"} and some-the-times show up on your desktop {another purple thumb drive appears with text reading "*Some-the-times show up on your desktop"} varieties!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Always be'sing and do'sing!

{Cut to the computer room, showing Homestar sitting on a boulder next to Strong Bad's desk, turned away from Strong Bad with a concentrated face.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Never cheesing or choosing! Always be'sing and do'sing!

STRONG BAD: Er... Homestar?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Never cheesing or choosing!

STRONG BAD: Homestar!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {looking back at Strong Bad; normally} Yeah, what?

STRONG BAD: You're in my house.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yup. {closes his eyes and nods}

STRONG BAD: Again.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeppers.

STRONG BAD: Aaand you brought a boulder.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Not me. Plate tectonics.

STRONG BAD: {jumping up} What are you doin' in here, man?!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. {swings his legs around to face Strong Bad} Well, I heard you talking about motivation and inspiration, and I decided to brush off my old {stands up} ABD's!

STRONG BAD: Umm, Aloud But Deadly?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You don't know about the ABD's, Strong Bad?

{Several seconds pass as some white noise plays.}

STRONG BAD: {whispering, aside} I'm just gonna stay silent in the hope that you won't tell me what it means.

{The noise stops and instructional music starts as Homestar brings down a screen labelled "smawtboud", reading "The ABC's of the ABD's: Always Be'sing & Do'sing".}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Always be'sing and do'sing!

STRONG BAD: {eyelids lowered} You say that like it clarified anything.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sits down, resting one leg on the other} Rules for an inspired life, Strong Bad. No matter what you do, or where you are, {stomps with each word except "and"} always be's be'sing and do'sing.

STRONG BAD: So you started a cult.

{music stops}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {shrugs} Yeah, kinda. For instance, I am currently be'sing on this boulder {lifts his legs and swivels them back and forth} and I am do'sing an ABD workshop with you.

STRONG BAD: Oh, okay. Then {music restarts} I am be'sing full of rage, and do'sing a roundhouse kick to your face!

{Strong Bad jumps toward Homestar, leg outstretched. He stops in midair as Homestar starts speaking, then drops down to the floor. The music stops.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Nooope, nope nope, that was some prime choosing you committed right there. Did you see it?

STRONG BAD: Wait, what's wrong with choosing?!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Cheesing and choosing. {music restarts} The antithesis of be'sing and do'sing! If you're choosin', you're losin'.

STRONG BAD: Just because something rhymes doesn't mean it's good life advice!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ah! And that's a perfect example of cheesing! You're a textbook case, Strong Bad. Textbook! Aaand speaking of textbooks, don't forget to purchase my new book at the upcoming...

{Cut to a blue screen.}

ANNOUNCER: {these words appear in the upper left:} Always Be's Do'sing {these words appear in the upper-right:} 3 Day Life Cleanse Seminar {a logo for Bubsmfort Inn & Suites Conference Center appears at the bottom} at Bubsmfort Inn and Suites Conference Center!

{The Bubsmfort Inn & Suites Conference Center logo moves off the bottom of the screen, while the words "cheesing" and "choosing" take its place}

ANNOUNCER: Rid yourself of damaging cheesing and choosing {red X's appear over those words} with guest speakers—

{The lower words are replaced with silhouettes of Homestar, Bubs, and Strong Bad in dark yellow boxes}

ANNOUNCER: —including Homestar Runner, {Homestar's name appears as he fades in} founder of the totally-not-cult-like— {a red label reading "60% Less Culty" appears over the corner of Homestar's portrait} —ABD movement!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Changin' attitudes with rhymin' platitudes!

ANNOUNCER: Entrepreneurial be's do'ser, and self-made do's be'ser, Bubs!

{Bubs's name appears as he fades in.}

BUBS: I'm stickin' with leg boats!

{A yellow label reading "Not Kayaks!" appears next to Bubs's portrait.}

ANNOUNCER: And the creator of File Folder Shaped Vitamins and File Folder Shaped Vitamin Thumb Drives, Strong Bad!

{Strong Bad's name appears as he fades in.}

STRONG BAD: {uncertain} I hope the hotel's breakfast bar can do omelettes! {smiles wide, as a blue label reading "Hungry!" appears over the corner of his portrait}

ANNOUNCER: All this and more at the Always Be's Do'sing 3 Day Life Cleanse Seminar!

{The screen darkens and goes out of focus as Homestar pops up over it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: If you're not attending, you're gonna be... lending. {unsure} Your neighbor... a... yard tool... like a shovel. Or a rake. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. {quickly} See you at the conference! ABD! Not a cult! Wooo! {runs offscreen}

{The commercial comes back to focus as the CGI Paper comes down.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: C-G-eeow!

{After a few seconds, cut back to the "loading" screen, the timer now reading "00:95".}

FOLLY: {voiceover} and... a... and then people might think it's gonna be loading forever...

{The timer hits "00:100" and then immediately cuts back to Folly and Bubs in the field.}

FOLLY: ...and then it's like... {considers} Stinkoman comes up and punches Bubs in the face.

{Stinkoman walks up to Bubs, suddenly becomes muscular, shouts, and punches Bubs into the distance. As he disappears into the sky, the words "happy april fools' day" appear in the "loading" font.}

[edit] Easter Eggs

  • Click on "DO'SING" after the CGI Paper comes down, but before the loading screen returns, to see an extra scene with Strong Sad.
{Cut to Strong Sad in the basement, alone, pushing buttons on a game controller. The boulder is visible at the top of the screen, with debris surrounding it.}
STRONG SAD: Always be'sing and do'sing, and never cheesing or choosing, and always— Hey! I beat the end boss!
{Clapping Party sounds play.}
  • After the Easter egg, it cuts back to the loading screen at 95 seconds.

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

  • Plate tectonics are the geological movement of the large "plates" that comprise the Earth's crust, causing the formations of continents and mountains.

[edit] Trivia

"Soon."

[edit] Remarks

  • The King of Town is wearing the crown from his third design.
  • From the computer room scene onward, Homestar's eyes are not animated as a movie clip like they normally are, and thus do not automatically blink.

[edit] Goofs

"You call that a proper reflection?! I am sick and tired of this crap!"
  • Strong Bad types an extra "w" after the "d" in "Chowderworth".
  • Strong Bad's reflection extends below the mirror in the first frame of the locker room scene.

[edit] Inside References

[edit] Real-World References

  • Purdue is a university in Indiana known for their athletic teams. Former Head Basketball coach at Indiana, Bobby Knight was (in)famously secretly recorded The external website linked here contains offensive language and/or content. explicit language at halftime going on a profanity-laced tirade at his players in which he shouted that he was "tired of losing to Purdue!"
  • Homestar's "smawtboud" is a reference to Smart Boards, a brand of interactive electronic whiteboards.
  • "Always Be'sing & Do'sing" is loosely based on the "Always Be Closing" monologue from the beginning of the film Glengarry Glen Ross, especially Homestar's signs.

[edit] YouTube Version

Far out.
  • The YouTube description for this toon is "An April Fools' Day picnic wherein everyone says 'blah.' A time honored tradition to be sure. I wonder if that new character will ever show up again."
  • There is a false autoplay image of "Falling Asleep Great with Character 1 from Yonder Website".
  • There is a green bar on the right side of the screen throughout the entire toon.
  • The length of time between the CGI Paper and the continued loading screen is shorter.

[edit] External Links

Personal tools
Subtitles